My favourite quote is 'Do unto others as you would have them do unto you'.
Life really is a roller-coaster with it's ups and downs and varying speeds. Yet no matter how hard you try to stay on an even keel, something always comes along to kick you in the teeth and remind you just how fragile life is. We are all trying to live the best we know how and to get along together. So take time to appreciate those around you and tell them how much you love them occasionally. A smile and a kind word speaks volumes.
Gender: Female
Location: Dorset
Occupation: Housewife/Mother/Counsellor/Volunteer
Member Since: April 20, 2006
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Last Update: February 17, 2009
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a few days ago, i gave my girlfriend a hickie and her dad found out and isnt very happy. She then tells me that her parents might have us break up for good. We've liked each other since 6th grade, now seniors. What can i do to make things right with her dad so we can stay together?? Please help ASAP!!!! (link)
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Her Dad is bound to be upset because it is a sign that his little girl is growing up. Also, hickies look disgusting and they are not good for you. When you suck up the skin all the small blood vessels are broken causing a bruising effect. Imagine the damage it can do!! All you can do is apologise to her Dad and tell him it won't happen again. Tell him you love her and will not damage her skin again. Tell him also that you realise how silly it was and you have learnt from this mistake. Good luck.
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ok so im sorry if this seems like a stupid question but it's really bugging me. anyways im 16/f and i have a problem with my body image! i wear size 4 usually in american eagle jeans but just recently i've been able to wear size 2. for some reason i keep thinking that wearing a size 4 is overweight or something. i guess it's because i hear all the time that celebreties should be size 2 or something. can someone please help me get over this cause i think about it all the time!! i rate 5s!! (link)
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Celebrities and models put out a very unrealistic persona of themselves. In pictures and magazines they are airbrushed and tampered with to make them look as perfect as possible. The normal, average female has a normal-sized body and wears average sized clothes. You are by no means fat being able to wear a size 4 and if you feel that you are unconciously losing weight then perhaps you ought to have a check-up. If however, you are losing weight deliberately you should try and stop now before it becomes an obsession. Be proud of your size and don't become focussed on those women as role models because they are the ones that are not normal. I hope this is of some use to you and I wish you all the best.
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My friends sister, before she left, threw some bottles at us.
IT's called Primegra
I know you're supposed to put 2 drops under your tongue before 'sexual activity'
but on the back it says it's not garunteed to prevvent STDS.
sooo, what's it for? (link)
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I recommend that you never take something that you are unsure about especially when it comes to putting your health at risk. You can never guarantee that what is in the bottle is the real thing. You should never mess with drugs at all because you never know what damage may be caused. Always take proper precautions before having sex, use a condom regardless of taking the pill etc. Best wishes.
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Well, at the moment i feel sick with a thumping headache, and the past few days ive had a headache. Tomorrow night im going toa party and i really wanna have a good time (i.e i dont wanna have a thumping headache).
Are there any things i can do that will make me feel fresh and healthy by tomorrow night? (link)
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A good nights sleep and a large glass of water will start the recovery. If you get dehydrated it can cause headaches. Try deep breathing and meditating to bring down your stress levels too. If you are worried or concerned about anything in particular try writing it down on paper and filing it away until after the party. If at all possible don't take headache tablets unless it is really bad. Good luck and enjoy the party.
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Hi Elcee,
thanks for your response! I can't speak with the ex because he's in prison for attempted murder--he ran a guy off the road and said guy now is paralyzed. The ex is a psychopath! Two weeks before he ran the guy off the road, he came at me in his car in a parking lot and veered at the last minute and glared at me. I had a restraining order before (when he took an axe and sledgehammer to my former house) but obviously I need to get another. I'm ill with a disability so a defense course isn't in the cards until I get better. My present boyfriend knows everything about the ex and I'm living with him and none of our friends know what his address is. Any other advice?
Again, thanks for your response--musicfan (link)
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Thank you very much for coming back to me. It is a dreadful situation and I can't imagine for one moment how it feels to be there. With any luck your ex will remain in prison for a good long time. This will let you get on with your life with your boyfriend. I am also sorry to hear that you are unwell at the moment and hope that you have a speedy recovery. It is a good idea to keep your present address secret for the moment just as long as your friends/family can keep in touch with you. From what you say it seems to me as if your ex is intimidating you without actually physically harming you. Has he ever laid a hand on you? He has driven at you and attacked your house and that is frightening in itself so if he does get out of prison, continue to be observant and aware at all times. I can only wish you the very best of luck for the future and I am keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.
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iam 18 yrs old.male. my problem is that i need around 10 hrs of sleep everyday.and sometimes even more than that.and ive heard that people of my age shoul not sleep for more than 7-8 hrs a day.ive tried doing that but then im not able to stop myself from having a nap in the afternoon. please advice on how to decrease "10-12" hrs to "7-8" hrs of sleep. (link)
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Listen to your own body. If you feel you need 10-12 hours of sleep a night to function normally the next day then that is right for you. As you get older you may find that you need less sleep during the night. Don't worry about what everyone else seems to think is right - do what is right for you right now. Best of luck.
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I am 15/f. I am not sexually active and I am a virgin. The most my boyfriend has done is finger me. I'm not sure if I can explain this but I will try. The inside of my vaginal area, the folds inside the lips, are now for some reason outside of the lips. Before, the lips touched eachother and now they are apart because the inner part is sticking out a little further. My urine smells different and sometimes my vaginal area is uncomfortable. Any clue to what this can be or if I really need help? (link)
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It sounds like you picked up an infection from your boyfriend. You need to go and have yourself checked out at the doctors. They will be able to prescribe something for it. In future make sure your boyfriend has thoroughly washed his hands before touching you intimately. Should you decide to lose your virginity soon make sure you are using protection like the condom because they will protect you better against an std. Lots of luck.
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i'm 19 years old and a female and was sexually abused when i was very yound by a babysitter. i am not worried about this and dont feel it affects me that much and i am quite open with this fact and the people who are close to me know about it all. The problem is that when a guy wants to get close with me i just seem to panic and just feel well out of my comfort zone. especially if its a boyfriend and its sexual. i have had sex in the past and the guys know about it and are very conciderate of it. But yet i still dont know when its affecting me like this. or even if it is that is the reason why. just finding it very difficult to get close to a bloke. i have loads of guy mates which i mess around with alot but i dunno its just so confusing. could you please enlighten me on this if its possible. (link)
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I would suggest that going and talking it through with a trained counsellor could help you sort your head out. They will not give you answers or tell you what to do because it is their role to help you understand yourself and to work out the answers with their guidance. It is not easy to open up to complete strangers but it could work. If you feel unable or unwilling to do that then sit down with a piece of paper and write down everything you feel about the abuse. Write down your anger and fear, your lack of control at the time and when you have done that, read it over and highlight the bits that still matter today. Working through your feelings on paper gives you a chance to reflect the control you now have over them. Continue to analyse your feelings until you have worked it all through and then either burn, tear or bury the paper and the fear or whatever emotion you are feeling at the time. It may seem an odd thing to do but if it helps all well and good. Continue to trust your instincts and your comfort zone and it time it will get better. I wish you lots of luck.
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I dont know why people like extreme crazy sports do u know?
Is it because of the kids now in days?
Why do people think that extreme sport lovers are drug addicts, idiots and crazy? (link)
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I suspect that kids like extreme sports because they enjoy the adrenilin rush they get from it. Before life was 'safe' and humans had to fight to eat we had what is called a 'flee or fight' emotion. (We still possess that feeling) Nowadays we don't have to worry about where our next meal will come from so we do not use this rush very often. Thrill-seekers look for situations that give them that feeling. As for your second question - not everyone thinks that extreme sport lovers are high, stupid or insane. However, it may be that people who do not understand the adrenilin junkie think they are junkies for real who can only do these things if they are high. I hope this answers your questions.
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My friend of 30 years asked me to help with a situation that involved her 22 year old daughter. The girl (Brandy) left her "good" boyfriend, quit her high salary job, gave up her apartment to travel around the country camping, hiking and living off the land, with a 25 year old guy she met 6 months ago. Brandy recently died her hair purple, and got several facial peircings. She told her mom about a couple of injuries where the mechanism didn't make sense, and we all--Brandy's parents-sibling and I got a bad feeling from the new boyfriend.
Without Brandy's permission we came up with the idea of doing a background check on the bf, and it came back really bad! Several assaults..domestic and otherwise, one which included prison time because it was assault with a deadly weapon. Broken restraining orders, harrassment, interuption of a 911 call, theft, DUI, no license, no insurance etc. Now mind you the young man has no money and they are traveling with her money. So our gut instinct was right..or even more right than we imagined.
We confronted Brandy with the info, that she apparently didn't know. We talked to her about domestic abuse. Tried to convince her not to go and she rebelled. She says it was crossing the line and his background was none of our business.(or her's either for that matter)
Now she says it is all her Mother's fault, because she can't love this man the way she should, but she still left with him. Did I mention my friend found bottles of drugs prescribed to others and pot in his backpack?
No one could stop her from leaving with him, but she did promise to call every day. So now that she is angry, we still want her to keep in touch and have a safety net in friends and family, but how?
The ideal situation would be that she just come home and start over! (link)
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How heartbreaking for you all with this situation. Unfortunately, because Brandy is an adult there really is not a lot you can do to make her leave this guy and go home. Try to maintain contact with her, but don't lend her money unless it is for a one-way ticket home. As was suggested in another answer, informing the police about him may help if he has an outstanding warrant but otherwise they too are powerless to do anything positive. They may be able to suggest support groups or a helpline but that may be all. If you continue to try and turn Brandy against her new guy, then I think that she will fight against you. Reverse psychology used effectively can be a great tool - try telling her that you are cool for her to go travelling and see the world a bit just as long as she phones in regularly. Maybe with the pressure off her she will begin to see what a low-life he really is. I wish you all good luck with this and hope it all turns out right in the end.
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somebody spread a rumors that im bi please help what should i do? i was just playing around my friends all the time and i dont know why some people spread the rumors about im biosexual 100% straight!! help
(link)
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Ignore the gossipmongers and get on with your life. Todays gossip is yesterdays old news and it will all go away. If someone actually mentions it to you just tell them that you don't listen to gossip and have no reason to believe what is being said. We have all been subjected to gossip in one form or another and as you get older you realise it can't actually hurt you unless you let it. Don't worry about what is being said and trying to defend yourself will just carry it on. Tell them to get a life. I wish you all the best.
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Hi-
this is a serious situation: I have a great boyfriend, but my ex boyfriend is extremely dangerous and I wonder if I should give up my present relationship and move out of town so my present guy is safe and I will be safe.
The ex is absolutely nuts and he has attempted to hurt someone in this community--I spend most of my time hiding out.
Any answers?
Thanks,
musicfan (I'm 40 years old and female). (link)
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If you have made it absolutely clear to your ex that you are with someone else and to leave you alone, I suggest that you take this matter seriously and inform the police. They will then be able to log and monitor the situation. If he has hurt someone else and the police were involved in the incident, they will take your situation far more seriously too. Why should you have to hide and think about leaving your home because of some nutter. Take some precautions to keep you and your boyfriend safe though. I suggest never being alone in the house without securing every door and window and asking friends or family to go shopping with you or go with your boyfriend. Tell everyone that you are being harassed and ask them to help should you ever need them. Keep a log of every threat and menace to you or your boyfriend and regularly update the police. I also suggest that you lock your doors whilst out driving and check in your car before getting in. Be observant about things that look slightly wrong to you and above all listen to your own instincts. I wish you and your boyfriend the very best for the future. Good luck.
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ok i have had my period for about 2 years now and i have just started wearing tampons my last 3 periods because i couldnt get them in before...now when i finally kno how to get em in they hurt when i take them out, i used regular tampons then like i said they hurt when i took em out. so i thaught maybe the absorbency was to high so i had my mom buy the smallest ones there was and they still hurt the same when i take them out and i notice that when i do it still shows white...i leave them in for like 8 hours cuz i heard about tss..i dont kno what im doin wrong, can certain people not wear tampons or am i not putting them in right?!?!?........please help me! (link)
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Tampons don't usually hurt when removing them because they have absorbed quite a bit of flow. Maybe you are not having heavy enough periods to be able to use even the lowest absorbency. You must NOT leave your tampons in for too long because of the risk of TSS. It is for convenience that most of us use tampons because they are discreet but perhaps you could use very light pads. Without knowing about your flow and frequency, then it is almost impossible to say why they hurt you. Have you asked your Mum about it? Perhaps she can suggest different ways of inserting the tampon so that it can be removed without pain. There is also the possibility that you are inserting them incorrectly and that is why they hurt. I am sorry that I can't give you a definitive answer but talking to your Mum would, I am sure, help.
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ok, im going to have sex for the first time, my bf and i've already planned it. 14/f, and DONT say im too young, im ready. anyways, i watched a few porn movies so i could get it down a bit, but i was wondering, do guys like it when girls like moan and have orgasms? thanks a lot. (link)
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Don't expect your first time to be all wonderful and fireworks. It is never like the movies and you will probably be highly disappointed. It may hurt you some and you could end up feeling used and frustrated. Yes, in my personal opinion you are too young at 14 but it is your choice. Guys like to see you enjoying yourself and will feel very proud if you have an orgasm. Whatever happens please, please take using precautions seriously. Have fun and good luck.
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okay yes so me & my boyfriend kind of had sex yesterday... he put it in like half way yesterday & pulled it out because i was scared yaeh well i still bled. does that mean he popped it? but it was only in half way..yeah im hoping im stilll a virgin pleasee help me!!!! comment bac qickk! (link)
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Sorry to say but you are no longer a virgin. He may not have gone all the way in, or cum inside you but you went beyond the boundaries of being chaste. It is not seen as something 'bad' losing your virginity nowadays so I wouldn't worry too much about that. What would be worrying is if he was not wearing protection because you can still get pregnant on your first time. Take extra care in future to prevent becoming a mum too young. Good luck.
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I was just kind of curious. One of my friends told me that her mom said we should put ICE next to any numbers in my phone that I would want someone to call if anything happened to me. ICE standing for In Case of Emergancy. Well my question is, do cops, firefighters, and paramedics know about that? Like will they actually look through your phone for the ICE numbers, or is that just something that her mom wanted us to do? Have any of you ever heard of doing that? Because I have ICE next to my parents, siblings, and a few of my closest friends. I also always have ID on me, not that that really matters.
But I was really just wondering, do other people do the "ICE" thing, or is it just a waste of time?
Thanks in advance. (link)
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ICE is a very good idea and it is being used by the emergency services now. It saves time when information is needed fast and a patients family/friends have to be contacted. Anything that cuts down on wasting time can be invaluable and I urge everyone to use this very simple system.
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i told one of my friends a year ago that i liked him. he told me he wasn't ready for a relationship, but i think he said that he didn't like me like that. now we are really good friends and i went over to his house the other day and he's this great guy and i wish i was with him. but it's so hard for me to think of him as just my friend. this crush is still lurking. he's going off to college in NY and i guess there isn't anything i can do, except just stay good friends, right? (link)
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A long-distance relationship does not necessarily have to flounder but you are only friends at this stage so maybe it would be best to stay that way for now. Write to him, or email, stay in touch so that when he comes home for the holidays you are there waiting as a friend only. Don't deprive yourself of any other relationships whilst he is in NY because that would not be healthy. If this relationship turns into something more than friendship then embrace it lovingly. It will be hard if he finds someone else, but you might also find someone else too. I wish you all the best in the future.
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Today I was shopping with my mom, and i was picking out some clothes, i went over to show her what I found. & the first thing she says is "no black" and she walks away. So I like black clothes, so what?
And maybe I'm not the preppiest girl ever, and maybe I don't have the style that she wants me to have. But I should be allowed to wear what I want. I don't know what her problem is, at least I'm not walking around with bondage pants with 65486465 chains; (if thats what she is worried about)
So the thing is, I want to be able to wear the style of clothes I want. And how am I supposed to express myself if she won't let me buy the things I want? How do I explain to her?
(link)
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I suggest that you look through some magazines and cut out pictures of clothes that you like and then ask your mum to have a look at them to see what she does and does not like. Perhaps you could ask her for a few smaller items of black to begin with, ie a t-shirt or jeans.
Perhaps your Mum associates black clothes with goths or deaths and does not want to imagine you in that situation. Does your Mum wear any black at all? Subtle little changes may work better than a drastic change. You will have to take into account her tastes until you are old enough to buy your own clothes, but be patient because this stage in your life doesn't last as long as you think it will. Good luck.
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When you shave are you supposed to shave the upper part of your leg too? I never have because the hairs are so light you can notice...but are you supposed to? (link)
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You don't necessarily have to shave the tops of your legs if you don't want to.
If you are lucky enough to have fine hairs at the tops of your legs then leave them alone.
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Hey my name is Rachel and iam 17 years old and iam going to babysit for this 15 year old autistic boy during the summer for a whole month what if he has a seizer what kind of activities should I plan?what if I don't do something right and he throws a fit he sometimes does that?
when his mom is gone more than a few minutes he gets upset and throws a temper tantrum and his mom is going to be gone 2 hours every day and I don't want to turn her request for me to babysit down becouse his mom has done so much for me in the past the least I can do is babysit I can't do this alone what should I do? (link)
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If distraction works, try using different means when his mother goes out. For example, with her permission, give him a sweet or a piece of chocolate. Get some paint the next day and paint a hand and get him to put it on paper. Little things like that may help to pass the first hurdle. Without knowing to what degree he is autistic it is difficult to suggest things to do. If he likes to hear stories, make one up for him or sing a song. These can be varied from day-to-day just to keep up the surprise element. Medically, it is difficult for me to suggest how you cope. Autistic children tend to like routine and stability so keeping to a fixed routine after the first distraction is probably a good idea. Make sure you know how to do CPR and what to do in an emergency. Prepare yourself with information on routine first aid problems like a small cut or abrasion. Ask his mum to provide you with the telephone number of where she works and his doctors number. Practical things like knowing what he likes to eat and drink will also help. Talk to his mum before you start babysitting and with a little knowledge it will be easier for you to cope. I wish you all the very best.
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