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First off im 15 F. And I know alot of people aren't going to like this but whatever. All of my life i have never gone to church or anything, and I want to, like I want to have a church family and everything and I really would like a place to talk about my spirituality. But I cant find a church that I like. As for my religion, I basically have christian based values, but anyways here are my beleifs.

1. I beleive in god as a force and not a being.
(basically I believe in god as love in general.)
2. I dont believe in the devil. I think that was a
a story made up to scare people that if you sin
you will go to hell.
3. I don't believe in hell. I believe there is
heaven and thats all.
4. I know there was a man named Jesus and he taught great lessons, but I dont believe he rose from the dead and all that.
5. God is Love and Sin is Evil.
6. And last, people should be entitled to their own religion without anyone giving them a hard time.

Anyways, there is just a basis of whatI believe. So my question is, do you know of a church or religion that is basically all of those?

Also, I had this idea, maybe I could start a website forum where people could talk about this, sort of like starting my own religion,(hehe that sounds weird). Do you think many people would join me on that? Do you think anyone believes the way I do?

Any way, sorry its so long. I just really want to talk about what I believe and where I'm from, you would get beat up because everyone is very conservative baptist around here. Like I am the only democrat at my school. : ). soo, if you have any views on this, please tell me. Just keep them nice. Thanks in advance!!

Contrary to what other people wrote, I think your beliefs are as good as anybody's. What, in essence you have done, is create your own religion, or your own segment within Christianity. Thats perfectly alright and its something that people have been doing for millenia. In the end no one has an ounce of proof of any kind whatsoever, so you are just as entitled to follow your beliefs as the Pope is.

Now, to get to the core of your question. I do tend to agree that Christianity may not be the way for you. The notion of hell is very deeply worked into the fabric of that religion. It has been used (as you correctly determined yourself) to keep people in check for ages. Interestingly the notion of heaven was probably intended to have the same effect, but thats getting off point. I agree with the first columnist that pointed you in the direction of budhism. At first glance that may well be the closest thing to what you are seeking. However it will by no means be a perfect match.

Good luck finding what you are after.

does guilt have anything to do with why girls might not eat what they would like to? i'm a guy and don't get this idea of cutting calories like crazy. i'm curious to know if things have always been this way or if it is just a craze. it bothers me to hear some of my friends that are girls talk about ways to burn calories and other stuff. i don't have a problem with that at all, but lately its all i hear my friends and even my family talk about. what is the big deal and what do i say to my friends if they bring it up with me?

Well I think a lot has to do with the image that girls try to live up to. Generally supermodels and other ultra thin role models give girls an unrealistic target (not to mention a not too attractive target imo anyway).

Whether this was always the same or not, Im not sure, but I dont think it was. I do not recall this from my childhood back in the 80s. I have no memory of girls trying to be ultra thin, counting calories etc. Of course I am just one person, so I cant say for sure that is how it was.

There is nothing wrong with trying to live a healthier life. So sometimes it is warrented to talk of reducing calories. Even counting them can be ok in certain instances. Of course, I agree with you that the obsession today is generally unhealthy. People want to hit magic target numbers instead of aiming for a better healthier life (just look at the questions on this site that start with.... "I weigh 110 lbs and I have to lose 20 lbs by next month).

The only thing you can do is to encourage people to take it easy. Try to make them see that they have a problem with their self image. Also try and get the point across that a steady gradual change towards wholesome foods is far more beneficial that crash diets, calorie counting, or any other fad.

You will probably fail lol, but its all you can do.

Good luck.

since your guy what do you think? well i like this guy and im pretty sure he likes me. he like looks at me alot and is always like trying to stand next to me and stuff. and he told his friend he liked me a while bak. so what do you think?? are these signs?

Yes

Well i am really tall and have long legs and im thin but my small thighs jiggle much when i walk and i was wondering if there was any specific excersize i can do to make them firm or if this is the norm for everybody, Im hoping to be in shape in a month.

I am no expert on what the norm is. However, if you want to build muscle, which should have a good effect on how you look, then nothing beats the squat. It works all the leg muscles and is without doubt the most effective lower body exercise.

Heres how to perform a full squat:
http://www.exrx.net/WeightExercises/Quadriceps/BBFullSquat.html

Otherwise if you want more options here is a link to a site full of exercises:

http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/exercises.htm

Good luck.

is there anyway to get a faster metabolism?

Well these are the things I know...

Building muscle mass (very effective)
Eating often
Varying the intensity of your workouts
Eating hot and spicy foods (small effect)
Drinking plenty of water

well im kind of too shy to ask my friends so i guess id ask here i kno wat a boner is like i kno its when a guys thing stands out but what does it come from? why does it happen?? jus wondering and confused lol

To add to the answer below... It is caused by blood rushing into the area and enlarging and hardening the penis. The purpose is rather obvious, it is to be able to reproduce. The process is a reflex action, meaning that guys have a very hard time controlling it. We tend to only be able to influence it by trying to think the right thoughts. Lol doesnt always work.

The reason this question is called "miracle diet?" Is because what Im about to as really might sound like Im asking for a miracle. I want ot lose 40 pounds by the start of April. Is there anyway I could do this without resorting to Anorexia (which is something I was [and still] considering.) Your help will be greatly appreciated.

Daimeers's answer is really good. I just want to emphasise a couple of things.

First, the damage that you will do to yourself if you become anorexic may be really difficult to reverse. The effects can be so profound that they can seriously damage your health, and will also leave you with no muscle mass at all. Losing muscle is terribly counterproductive if you are looking to be able to keep your body fat low.

I dont know your background or your stats. However, if you were anorexic before, and if you are considering it now, you might want to consider getting some help (in the form of some sort of counseling). Anorexia is extremely self destructive, and it must be treated the same way as other self destructive tendencies/ diseases/ etc.

Otherwise Daimeera's answer covers the diet part very well. One should not exceed two pounds per week, and the trick is to eat moderate, healthy, frequent meals (every 3-4 hours).

Good luck, and remember its simply not worth the risk. Whatever you think the problem is, you can wait a few more months and do it the right way.

how long does it take to get good results for weightlifting

That really depends what you mean by good results.

If you want to see a difference in how you look then in about 6 months to 1 year of good training and eating it will become noticeable. To pack serious muscle and be "big" I would say about 2 or 3 years.

For top results i.e. professional level (either bodybuiling or powerlifting)... many years.

Stick to it though, the sport has many small rewards along the way, and as you improve you can set higher and higher goals.

Edit: Now, I really am curious. What do you and the person below think you can achieve in weightlifting in 6-8 weeks? I really want to hear this...

ive gained alot of weight in the last few weeks.
I really dont like it,
whats some good ways to exersise, my mom has a tredmile i could run, but for how long??
and whats some healthy things to eat, and when how every so often?

If you are only training cardio it can be done quite often, even daily as long as one leaves a rest day. I would start with every second day if I were you though.

Start by running 20 mins or so, but ideally it would be good if you can work it up over 30 mins.

Of course, if you are able, the best would be a weight training and cardio routine. E.g. weights one day, running the next etc with Sunday off.

Food wise eat 4- 6 meals a day spaced out every 3- 4 hours. Good meals shoud be based around a good protein source. They should include a moderate carb portion and a small amount of good fat. Good protein sources include:
skinless chicken, turkey
tuna
lean beef
cottage cheese (low fat preferably)
egg whites
whey
skim milk (in moderation)

So for example you could have 100-150g turkey plus 50g whole wheat pasta, and a small salad with olive oil. Or 200-250g cottage cheese, an apple and a small handful of walnuts or olives. Breakfast could be 50g of oats in skim milk and 2 or 3 egg whites (boiled, scrambled, etc).

Some good fat sources (which should be eaten in small doses):
oily fish
nuts of all sorts (unsalted)
olive oil
olives
canola
flax (seeds or oil)

Remember to eat planning ahead for what you are about to do. If you are to be active then that meal can be a little bit larger. If you are going to sleep, the opt for a slightly smaller meal (e.g. the cottage cheese example).

Good luck.

Ok i'm skinney but I want to loose fat on my belly.
Can I do ab excercises to burn it? I don't want abs, they look gross to me. I just want a flat somache like those girls form the Pussy Cat Dolls for example lol

Listen to me carefully. It is impossible to target fat loss through exercise. So you cannot lose fat specifically from your belly, it is humanly impossible. Trust me on this (or research it if you like, just dont buy in to this myth).

To lose weight you need to watch what you eat and exercise (full body and cardio over isolation work).

Edit: In answer to the feedback... Here are some examples: running, stairmaster, eliptical, aerobics, power walking (or whatever its called), sports (particularly things like soccer, basketball, handball etc. in other words sports where you are in motion most of the time).

i have a calorie diet of 1200 a day i do 30 minutes a day cardio and 50 minutes a day pilates routine.
however i have recently broken my foot so my activity levels will be zero.
will i still lose 2lb a week based just on my calorie intake.

thanks
dawn

You will certainly keep losing weight, providing that you eat less than you burn. Exercise, while being extremely healthy etc, is not required for losing weight. Just make sure you eat a few hundred calories less than you use.

Incidentally, that might not mean you need to eat less than you do at the moment. My first impression when reading this question was that 1200 sounded very low particularly considering the amount of exercise you have been doing.

Of course I dont know your stats, but just for an experiment I tried punching in some random figures into a calorie calculator. I took a 15 year old female weighing 55 kg (121 lbs), doing absolutely nothing but sitting around all day, and I got 1722 calories burned. If that person were on your diet she would already have more than a 500 calorie deficit without excercising at all. With exercise she would certainly be eating too little.

Anyhow, just watch what you eat and Im sure you will do fine. Pity about the broken foot, I hope you get over it as smoothly as possible. Good luck.

If i cut out pop and junk and was doing 200 sit ups a night how much weight do you think i could loose in 25 days ??

Training your abs is ok, but the more muscles you involve the better. Rather than 200 situps work in some cardio and/or a combination of exercises (push ups, pull ups, squats etc). Ab workouts are not particularly good calorie burners.

Irrespective of what you cut out, and how much exercise you do, the weight you lose will depend on the difference between what you eat and what you burn. You can easily gain weight eating too much health food. Easily.

However, if you do things right, and you eat healthy small frequent meals, and create a moderate calorie deficiency, then you should be able to do 2 pounds a week. Any more is not healthy (and probably would include muscle, which you dont want to lose). So, in 25 days, thats about 7 pounds.

13/f 5'5''.sorry for it so long.im not extreamly fat but still pretty fat.im not active at all.i love chocolate.i always sit on my ass all day i play video games tv and computer.but ive never noticed my weight until lately because of presidental test in gym.so ive been only eating breakfast lunch and dinner and kiwis and mountain dew.im not stoppin mountain dew i only drink 1 a day and water.ive been tryin to exercise mainly my arms and stomach.i try like only 5min but like 6 times a day so around 30 min.but i try different things but i cant do push ups at all or pull ups i cant do arms.im not playin as much video games and tv anymore.i love goin to the mall so theres walkin but also i get soda and greasy food.but we do eat out alot atleast daily.
~are too many kiwis bad~wats the limit a day
~what are some exercises for at home inside no equiptment needed and mainly stomach and arms
~how much exercise should i do a day
~what should my weight be 13/f 5'5''
~what are good exercises for arms and stomach
~please help me

First of all, you have to get your diet in order. Exercise is important, and it has countless health benefits, but the place to start is with what you eat. I will start by answering your specific questions first, and after that I will put two sections on how to organise your meals and what you should eat. Remember nothing needs to be followed to the letter, but you get what you put in. I will start with exercise since that seems to be your main concern.

Exercise:

The benefits of exercising a specific area of the body are small. Fat loss cannot be spot reduced (i.e. targetted) despite the rampant myth on this site. So, the value of training your abs for example is primarily to build muscle, since doing ab work is not a great calorie burner.

It follows, that full body routines are far more effective. Cardio is your good friend when it comes to weight loss, not to mention keeping you healthy overall. Doing weights as well is even better, but for that you need a gym.

You can decide what level of effort you want to put in. I would suggest you start with cardio (say running since you dont go to a gym) every second day, maybe 20-30 mins. As you get better you can increase the frequency and length of time, but always leave a rest day every week.

If you want to train at home, these are the exercises I would try to throw in on top of the cardio (never instead of it):
- pushups (girly pushups if you cant do normal)
- assisted pullups- Have someone grab your legs and help you up. It works, and in time you will be able to do them alone.
- squats and/ or lunges (particularly if you can get some dumbbells to hold in you hands)
- superman (lower back exercise... balances the ab work- see below if you dont know it)
- crunches

Here is a place where they show you a ton of exercises, just click on the bodypart (most require a gym, but there are a number of exercises that can be done at home):

http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/exercises.htm

Your specific questions (what has not been answered above or by the previous columnist):

- Kiwi is a fruit. Fruit as such is good, but it does contain sugar so eating too many is not a good thing. Limit yourself to a few a day.
- Pushups, pullups and crunches are the best I can think of with no equipment, but mind what I wrote above. Narrow grip pullups with palms facing you emphasise the biceps more. Wide grip pull ups emphasise the back more. Similarly, the closer you keep your arms to your body in pushups, the more the triceps are involved (as opposed to the chest).

Here are a few general tips on how to compose your meals:

- Eat 4- 6 meals a day evenly spaced out every 3-4 hours. This is very important and superior to the 3 meal system.
- Drink plenty of water and take a multi vitamin.
- Avoid saturated fats as much as possible (animal fats are usually "bad"). That being said, you need a small daily amount of essential fatty acids (e.g. from good oils, nuts, oily fish etc.).
- Each meal should be balanced, and based around a good protein source
- Needless to say remove as much of the "crap" as possible from your diet (empty calories from junk foods, things with sugar added etc., essentially the stuff you talk about).

Here are some sample meals:

Well here are some meal examples:
- oats (50- 100g) in skim milk
- A whole egg, a few egg whites, a slice of whole wheat bread and a piece of fruit
- Cottage cheese preferably low fat (about 150- 250 grams) + piece of fruit + a few walnuts
- Skinless chicken/ turkey breast, tuna or other lean meat(about 100-150grams) + 50g whole wheat pasta or 75 grams basmati rice, or a baked potato, or a slice of whole wheat bread + a small salad or something similar
- Other things to add here and there might be things like oily fish, a few olives, unsalted nuts of all sorts (in small quantities), flax seeds, small amounts of a good oil (e.g. canola, olive oil etc). These things will give you the good kind of fats you need.

Great, thats it. How you end up eating is up to you, but at least you have a guideline on what good nutrition is. Good luck.

i am doing a research paper for school on the effects of teen drinking/underage drinking. i dont drink, personally. i was wondering how many beers it would take to get a 120 girl about 17 years old drunk. also about how many glasses of wine, shots, anything. thank you.

Really depends on how quickly one drinks the stuff, and on the girl's natural tolerance to alcohol (which varies a lot).

If I were to estimate a number (for drinking casually not downing the whole thing at once), I would say 4- 5 beers. That should be about the same as a bottle of wine in terms of alcohol, but one would feel the effects of the wine faster.

Also depends how you define drunk btw. A girl that weight would feel tipsy after the second beer I would guess.

should you always stick up for a friend even when you know they're wrong?

I tend to agree with the people that wrote "no", or "not always". I just wanted to add one thing. The most important thing here, the thing that differentiates you as a friend from a random person, is how you handle it. Dont go against your friend in public, dont put him/her in a difficult situation, etc. Instead, pull them aside and explain why you are unable to support them in this matter.

But certainly I dont think friendship implies that you are obliged to stick up for someone when they are wrong. In most cases I think the best thing is just to stay out of it.

i have just turned 15 and i go to the gym alot i can squat 54 stone 345.6kg is this good for my age should i consider body building or weight lifting??

I tend to agree with Mike. I cant imagine a 15 year old squating that much with proper form. Thats well beyond what most serious experienced lifters can do. So do check your form there in regards to whether you are doing a full squat or not.

However, if you enjoy trying to set the best single rep, then I would say powerlifting is the thing for you. It really depends I suppose on what one enjoys most. If you are into symetry and looks then bodybuilding, if you are into max reps then power lifting.

is it bad if im about 5 foot 4 and 118.5 pounds?

Sounds good to me too.

However, the best thing to do is to use a mirror. Weight can be deceiving since it doesnt take into account muscle to fat ratio, and size of your build.

19/F
Ok this seems long and soap-opera-ish but please bear with me. I’ve gotten rid of some of the details to make it shorter but please tell me if it isn’t clear enough. And please don't rant at me about being a cheating b**** or anything. I know I am a bad bad person. I just need you to tell me what to do.
Nate has always been the typical "rich bad boy" type. He gets a pack mentality when he is with his boys so he’s labeled an official ***hole. He's had a pretty bad past and when you get him alone, he’s different. He and I go a few years back when I wasn't into the party scene, and it got around that he "wanted" me. I shot that down and he gave up. I've been intrigued by him (i.e. had a crush on him) and we always used to exchange looks all the time at school and parties and I could feel the sizzles (but wasn’t sure it was mutual). Only last year did we start talking a bit inside and outside school. Then I finished school and didn’t see him.
In May, I met Blake. He’s ridiculously good-looking, the sweetest guy ever, and a cook. I didn’t think he was into me so I backed off then recently, Blake started showing interest in me and I was thrilled. We were perfect for each other, our life goals and views were the same, we had minor arguments sometimes, which ended with practically no resentment on either end, and we always made up quickly. It was the perfect relationship. I was still a virgin but he understood because he had only been with one chick (his year-long girlfriend in grade 11).
End of last year, Nate and I ended up at a party together. I was hammered out of my mind and we had sex in a bedroom. It was harsh to the point that he did it, shoved me away and left. I was broken after. Eventually, I told Blake and he was mostly sad for me and he did whatever he could to make me feel better. Including sex and it was just like the rest of our relationship, comfortable.
Then one day, Nate showed up at my house after I saw him at the mall and went home all shaken up. We had sex. We have had sex about five times now altogether. Usually it’s when I’m vunerable. It’s pretty much casual sex but it is explosive as in really really hot, stuff I thought didn’t exist outside novels. Blake and I haven’t even come close, even though there is some sizzle, it isn’t comparable. Told Blake once and he was mad but he came back and told me he’d still have me and he didn’t understand. Usually Nate just has sex with me and sticks around for a while and leaves but one time, he actually stayed after and kissed my face and stuff.
This is what confuses me. Blake and I are perfect for each other and it’s not a completely devoid of sexual drive either but when I’m with Nate, it feels right like it’s exactly where I belong.
I’m just so afraid of hurting Blake. I want to stay with him but at the same time, I feel like puking when I think about what a disgusting unfaithful slut I’m being. And I’m pretty sure Nate doesn’t want a relationship. I just don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t want to look back twenty years from now and regret it. I know that bad boy’s can’t be tamed but I know his history and I kind of still ache for Nate but Blake is just perfect.
Help?

In my opinion it is utterly irrelevant whether Nate is using you or not. It is utterly irrelevant whether or not you are confused about the relationship, disapointed with the sex, or whatever. The only thing that is relevant is that you are in a relationship with a caring decent guy, and you are cheating on him. Irrespective of his abilities in bed, he does not deserve that. To me thats the end of the story. If you wanted to sleep with Nate you should have broken it off with the other guy.

By that line of reasoning, it is utterly irrelevant where you feel best. You are perfectly in control of your actions, these things dont just happen. You chose to sleep with Nate, and now to make matters worse, you are stringing Blake along while you make your decision.

My advice: Break it off with Blake irrespective of what you decide. He is not your emotional guinea pig, there for you to test your relationship preferences. He is a person who has entered a relationship with you in good faith. In the very least he deserves to know you have been cheating on him all this time.

This is a perfect example of why one should always think before acting, and never ever act based on emotion alone.

ok so there is this guy i really like, and he really likes me. we spend hours on the phone every night and i can tell we both really like each other. today he found out i was friends w/ this girl and was like OMG YOU KNOW HER? YOU TALK TO HER? SHE IS SO HOT! AHH OMG! and so on. it really hurt my feelings and i don't understand why a guy would say that to a girl he likes/is interested in. can someone explain this to me? i wouldn't want to talk about a hot guy to him. i just dont get why he did that

The guy screwed up. Either its a one off sort of thing, or he is not so bright, you be the judge. He probably didnt think about it. There is even a chance he is hitting himself on the head right now. Odds are though he is simply clueless. People, particularly young immature people, can get that way sometimes.

I have had more or less the same thing happen to me once with a girl I was with, so please dont confine this sort of behaviour to just guys.

ok i REALLY want to be a vegitarian but i don't think i can give up meat completely. it's really hard. what are some ways to mabey help me give it up? and what foods can you eat when you're vegitarian besides veggies and fruits??

thx soo much!

There are different kinds of vegetarians. They vary according to whether they eat dairy products, fish, and/ or eggs. Those that eat these things are called lacto, pesco, and ovo vegetarians respectively (and you can be a combination e.g. lacto-ovo vegetarian). Those that eat none of those things are typically called vegans.

I was a lacto ovo vegetarian for 6 years btw, so I know how hard it is to give up the habit. The best advice I can give you is that to get your hands on a vegetarian cookbook. Every bookstore or library should have one. Once you start making some really nice veggie dishes, you wont crave for the meat as much. Thats really the biggest problem, most people dont know how to cook vegetarian.

I cant really give you specific advice on what to eat since I dont know what kind of vegetarian you are. However, you can usually duplicate most dishes with a veggie alternative. Italian dishes are particularly good and easy to convert in my opinion, assuming you are not a vegan.

One word of caution, as a vegetarian you should make sure you have very varied meals. Use a variety of grains, beans, veggies, etc. so as to ensure that you get all the vitamins and protein that you need. And rememeber to take a multi vitamin in the morning.

Good luck.

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