Erinn_the_bamf's advice column

What is the proper way to go about opening a door for a girl when the door opens inward? Do you go through first and hold it for her, or push it in so she can walk through?

Both ways are acceptable and polite. It's really great that you're asking this question, most guys don't care about opening doors for girls nowadays.

[view]

for the background of your advice column, is there a way to make it one of the pictures that you have saved on the computer. like, say you have a picture from a concert saved in your documents, is there a way to make it the BACKGROUND of my column that picture?

Yes. First upload the picture to photobucket or tinypic. Get the image url (has .jpg at the end). Go to column settings and paste the image url where it says Page Background Image (URL).

[view]

Ok...the other night i went to a party with my cousin and some of his friends. Well we were all riding in one his friend's jeep..and none of the guys made any conversation. I didnt know understand why? I just sat there and looked out the window while the guys were talking about all sorts of nasty stuff. It bothered me because im not a bad lookin girl? Most guys think im pretty or w/e but i didnt understand? So it made me start thinkin..i wanna be sexier..and more of a catch. Any advice on how and why these guys did this? (17/F)

You don't need to be "sexier" to get a guy to notice you. Be yourself. Why change for a guy? There is a wonderful guy out there who will love you just the way you are. Besides, dressing sexier could give guys the wrong idea and think you're a slut.

As to why the guys weren't talking to you, but talked about nasty stuff? There are two reasons this could be possible. A) When guys are in large numbers and around girls they tend to act like that to seem "cool." They want to impress the girl and their peers with talk about sex. or B) They're just jackasses.

[view]

does fall out boy have a fan mail address that i can send them a letter to? thank youss

I found two differnet ones.

Fall Out Boy
Fueled by Ramen, Inc.
P.O. Box 1803
Tampa, FL 33601
USA

or

Fall Out Boy
Box 219
1187 Wilmette Avenue
Wilmette, IL 60091
USA

Next time, google a question like this. I found the answer on the first link that came up.

[view]

Okay so I have an iTunes account. I bought Mean Girls from the iTunes store on my desktop computer, along with another bunch of movies and TV shows and songs. I went on my laptop and bought other stuff too, and I authorized my laptop to be the 2nd of the 5 machines I can use my account with. But aren't the movies and stuff I buy on my desktop supposed to transfer to my laptop? I wanted to watch Mean Girls on my laptop last night with a friend for a sleepover, but there was no way I could. Any help?

Unfortunately, when you buy stuff off of iTunes, it doesn't automatically transfer to evey computer autherized to your account. You need to put the movie on your iPod and then plug it into the other computer to transfer it.

[view]

im 15 and in have fancied this girl for a while and im thinking abou asking her out. The only problem is i don't know waht she thinks of me and if i ask her out and she says know what will this do to our friendship. what should i do?

I think you should ask her out. You'll never know what could've been. If she says no, don't act differently around her. You're bound to be rejected in your life. You should really go for it, though. It could turn out to be something great.

[view]

I just got orthodontic rubber bands the other day. Does anybody know approximately how long I'll have to have them for? I forgot to ask my dentist =P

I don't know if everyone needs them for a different amount of time, or if there's a standard amount.

I got my braces a year ago and am scheduled to get them off in December, if it helps. Thanks in advance

Everyone wears it for a different amount of time. It depends on their teeth. Some people have to wear them for a month, some until they get them off.

[view]

just found out from guy i have liked for 2 years best friend that i dont have a chance...now what...heartbroken and crying

Is "now what" your question? Because I really don't see one here. Well, I'm assuming that you want to know what to do.

Don't be afarid to cry. Everyone does it. It's a good way to get out all the emotions you're feeling. You can also try writing. Songs, poetry, stories. You'll get all your feelings out on paper. Then find a new activity to occupy your time with. Maybe turn whatever you wrote into a song if you hadn't already. A new sport or hobby will be fun too. Moving on is hard, but you'll be able to do it.

[view]

Ok so I've seen a couple people wearing like kinda dressy shirts that are longer than a regular shirt but shorter than a dress and they wear leggings under it and it looks soo cute! I was wondering if anybody knows where I can get shirts like that? And I don't want them to look too dressy, but not too plain. Just something thats cute and stylish. Thanks so much!

Forever 21
Wet Seal
Delia's
Charlotte Russe

[view]

Does anyone know any good love movies based on the 1800s?

Pride and Prejudice
Casanova
Tristan and Isolde (it's several centuries before the 1800s, but it's a great love story.)
Titanic (again, not 1800s, 1912, but still a great love story)
Sense and Sensibilty

[view]

okay,well i don't really like writing diaries and stuff but i want to start an online journal. a private one obivously but i have no idea how to start? does anyone know any special websites that can hellp me make one? i want it to be completely private and everything i write to be pretty much for me.

xanga.com
livejournal.com

Both of these have options to keep your enteries private. I've had both before, they're pretty much exactly the same.

[view]

i was talking to this guy online who i've had sex with before. we were talking about doing it again and he mentioned me giving him head, and he said he wanted to use a condom. I told him i wouldnt want to because i am a little bit allergic to latex and i just think that would be really nasty. so i asked him why he wanted a condom while getting head anyways and he said he just did. i got kind of suspicious and asked if he had an std or something and he said no but i kind of dont beleive him. he kind of seems like the type who would lie so i would have sex with him again,but do you think that seems kind of suspicious or am i overreacting?

Never have sex with someone who isn't honest about their STDs. That it just one bad situation.

As for using a condom while giving head, you really should everytime. You can use an animal membrane condom and have a latex one on under it. Yes, you normally shouldn't wear two condoms at the same time, but we learned in health it's fine to do if one person has a latex allergy. Animal membrane doesn't protect against STDs which is why the latex should be under it.

[view]

1.are uggs still in style?
if so i saw some off brand ones at charlotte russe for 20 bucks.. and i wanted to get them
just because ive been lookin for them for awhile.. anyway
2.im not poor i just wanna get a pair of boots like that style but dont wanna pay like 100 bucks for them. do you think people would think im like poor or something because i got imitation uggs? oh and im black too i dont wanna look like a poser :/

1. Since it's summer, and a little hot for Uggs, I'm really not sure if they're still in style. They're more of a winter shoe. However, who really cares what's in style? Being "in style" is quite boring, so buy them anyway!

2. No, people wouldn't think you're poor. I have 3 pairs of imitation uggs, and one of them everyone compliments me on. Race has nothing to do with what type of shoes you where. You won't look like a poser. If you like uggs, buy them.

[view]

14/f
Is God real? I'm a raised catholic, but I for about 2 years now I've felt atheist/agnostic.

How do you know it's YOUR god that's real? What if there are many gods? what if there's a goddess?

just give me some proof.

because a lot of times i feel guilty for not being religious and i feel like i should be religious. But I don't want to save myself for marriage and I masturbate which makes me think that I shouldn't be a christian! Can i still be a christian even in spite of those 2 things?

please just give me advice.

Personally, I've always believed that we all worship the same God. Whether you are Christian, Muslim, or any other religion, it's really one God. God could really be a Goddess, as you pointed out.

The Bible is proof. Yes, some of it is made up. However, there is scientific proof for a lot of the stories in it. For example, Noah's Arc. There is proof that there was a gigantic flood throughout the Earth. The story of Noah is logical because the flood would've wipped out all life unless someone built an arc and brought animal onto it and whatnot.

Even though you masturbate and don't want to wait until marriage, you still can be a Christian. Do you believe in Jesus Christ? Do you believe in Heaven? Those are the things that make you Christian.

All in all, there is no way to be 100% sure there is a God. When we die and end up in heaven, I guess we know God is real.

[view]

well my weve been going out for like a month, and whenever im like you should watch the notebook one day he always says not unless im guaranteed dome after this.
like i dont always mind, but like i wonder if hes serious, or like joking.
and like does it mean he wants me to give him head.
you know.

&like i wanted him to watch it, because its romantic, but i dont want him to watch it just because he thinks hes gonna get head after.

what should i do.

Dump him. He's a douche. He's really only using you for sexual acts. As the person said below me, it's only been a month. He's rusing into things too fast. Furthermore, he's pressuring you. Yes, you said you don't mind, but he's asking for it in the wrong way. He shouldn't be watching a movie with you because he wants oral. He should be watching it because he wants to spend time with you. Dump him - he's an asshole.

[view]

my boyfriend thinks vaginas are gross.

i need professional help.

what do i do?

Sorry, but your boyfriend sounds a little immature. It's a natural part of the body, what's gross about it? You may want to talk to him about it and find out what he thinks is so gross. It would probably be a good idea to dump him, though. He's obvioulsy too immature to have a girlfriend if he still think a vagina is nasty.

[view]

Is it true that if you keep your bra on at night and it's a padded one they won't grow much because you didn't give them room to grow??

No, this is not true. However, when you get older wearing a bra at night prevents sagging.

[view]

15/f going into 10th grade

Ok so I want to be more confident about what I wear and look like. I'm super small (80lbs) but not annorexic or belimic...(please believe me) but I won't wear a cute casual dress or high heels because I'm afraid of what people might think (last year I saw some girls looking at me then wispering about the heels, that I got the guts up to wear, they were makin faces like you know "those are ugly" and they weren't!!)

But anyway, if I do get the guts up to wear heels I won't wear them with shorts because you can see them.

I'm also too shy to talk to guys and even other girls I don't really know. How do I fix this??!??

I hate not being confident in things I wear and what to do!!!!?!!!!

PLEASE HELP!!!!

The confidence exercise that always works:

Grab a piece of paper and a pen and sit in front of a mirror. Write down everything you like about yourself, physically and mentally. Everyday, or just when you're feeling down, look over this piece of paper. It will make you a lot more confident.

As for what you wear, it really doesn't matter. No one is going to remember what you wear, and it's not going to change who you are as a person. Wear what makes you like, and don't think about the people that make snide remarks about it.

As for talking to guys, remember they're people too. Just be yourself! Being a genuine person is great. Also confidence attracts guys, so walk with your head held high and don't let people get you down.

[view]

Why is it always so hard to follow your own advice?

I've been in a friendship with someone for over 5 years. (I'm a rising senior in high school, she is too). In the middle of our sophomore year she was sent away to a group home because of her bad behavior. While she was gone I was able to clean up the mess in my life (stop using drugs, drinking, etc.). She just moved back about a week or two ago and although I've kept myself from sinking back into her ways through help of a friend, I can't bring myself to end our friendship. We have been through so much together. We live in the same neighborhood - about a 5 minute walk away. I know that once we graduate we won't see each other anymore so I want to just continue our friendship for this final year of high school then part ways. It would be so much easier that way. BUT if any of you were in the situation I was in the I would literally tell you that the solution was simple. She's doing nothing but hurting you in the end and to discontinue the friendship sooner rather than later. She's a bad influence and you don't need someone like that in your life.
I know it's an unhealthy friendship. The only good in it is that although she smokes pot (does not consider it a drug, she considers it an herb.. she does nothing else drug-wise) and drinks (not a lot at all) and hooks up with guys constantly, she doesn't pressure me or anyone else to participate.
The bad in it is that not only does hanging out with her make it appear that I appove of her behaviour, which I don't at all, but it also makes me feel the need to go back to my old ways. If I were to go back to that then I know I wouldn't have the strength to clean up my life again.

So, why can't I just take my own advice and keep away from her? Why is it alway so much harder to do what you would tell others? I feel like such a hypocrite because I can't follow my own advice.

Taking your own advice is one of the hardest things in the world to do. Many people have trouble with it, myself included with that.

The phrase "easier said than done" pretty much sums this one up. You can say it, but it won't make it any easier to do. As we all know, the right thing, is never the easier. We know what's right, we know what should be done, however, rarely ever is it the easy thing to do. Therefore, we avoid our own advice.

By the way, my opinon on the friendship is it should be ended now. You're right, she is a bad influence.

[view]

everyone says there is a such thing as precum , how do you know the difference in precum &nd cum ?

It's quite simple to know the difference. In the act of intercourse, precum is cum or semen that has leaked out in small amounts. Cum is a large amount of semen that is released once a male reaches orgasm.

Remeber: precum CAN get you pregnant.

[view]

<<< Previous Advice Column

Next Advice Column >>>