Gender:
FemaleLocation:
USAAge:
28Member Since:
October 4, 2005Answers:
2093Last Update:
February 22, 2015Visitors:
129787Favorite Columnists
Dragonflymagic
karenR
DangerNerd
SilentOne
Xenolan
theymos
Erinn_the_bamf
advicenator_admin
Brandi_S
Adviceguy158
Nallie
more...
Main Categories:
Random Weirdos
Computers
Love Life
View All
about
I sometimes take long breaks from the site. I'm more than happy to answer anyone's questions, but just make sure they're not too time sensitive. :)Facts about me:
*happy
*employed
*married
*large extended family
*bisexual
*advanced college degree
*no kids (yet)
advice
i wana redo my room. 13/f gothic and my mom hates goths but im gothic. so i cant do gothic well nothing she would think would be but any advice on what colors for walls and everything else.
so how could i make it look like a gothic room but not black walls.
i like purple black white red and pokadots or anything
i hate pink blue green
I hope that you realize that the columnist straightup does have a point. You're a teenager. You need to start thinking about your future. It's closer than you think. People don't take goths seriously. You say your mom hates it, well so does everyone else. You will have a really hard time finding work if you plan on staying goth into your adulthood. If you're not into drugs or alcohol yet and you remain goth, the chances of you becoming so are much higher. Even though you may believe that you'd never do that, you must admit that it does come with the territory. People will think you're on drugs anyway even if you're not and that can be just as detrimental for you. If your time being goth leads you to become a drug user, that will affect your future even more in a negative way than just the way you dress and the music you listen to. While you are goth, do your best not to get involved with the drug aspect of the culture. Druggies are seriously the scum of the earth and will forever be the victims of their own obsessions. You're stronger than that.
I'm not saying that it's not okay for you to be goth in dress, music, and such, for the time being. It's perfectly fine as long as you realize that you just can't stay that way for the rest of your life and still be a successful person. I'll admit goths are pretty cool. I like the gothic culture minus the drugs. The goth look is amazing. Stay with it, but drop it in a few years. You'll be really happy that you did. Other people's opinions of you are very important and define who you are more than you do yourself. It sucks, but that's how it works. If you want to spend the rest of your life "expressing yourself" you need a huge reality check. You need to make people other than yourself happy through the course of your life to get anything.
I hope that you read what I'm saying to you and really think about it. I don't expect you to understand it now because you are only 13, at the peak of rebelliousness and egocentrism. I can only hope that someday in the near future, it'll get across to you. Please don't base your response to my advice on whether or not you liked what I said to you. Please base it on the quality of advice that I am giving to you. Whether you want to take it or not, it is probably some of the best advice that anybody will ever give you. I'm not tooting my own horn here. I've heard this advice given to girls like you many times before and when it was actually followed, I've seen it do a whole lot of good. I know it's good advice. I can only hope that I presented it in a way that you will think so too. It could be the difference from being in poverty to enjoying a great life.
To your actual question. I know a girl who's parents wouldn't let her paint her room black so she chose red. It looks AMAZING. It came out more of a dark orange, but it just looks so sinister and very goth especially with all of the black posters and things she has for decorations. I've seen black rooms before and they just didn't look good. It's too dark and boring and it's not "in your face" at all, which is a huge part of the goth culture. Red is just, whoa. I highly recommend that to you. Even if you give up the goth thing, it'll still look pretty sweet. Good luck. :)
A while ago, one of my best guy friends told me something in total confidence, and told me not to tell anyone about it. But then at a sleepover, my friends asked if anyone had any secrets that they wanted to just get out in the open. I said I did, so I told them what my guy friend said. Now, I feel like the worst person alive...they swore that they'd never tell anyone, but what if it accidentilly slips out?? I'm scared that no one will ever trust me again. What can I do?
It's human nature to need to tell someone especially if it's particularly juicy. As long as the girls you told know that he told it to you in confidence, there's no reason for them to tell anybody else. They can just talk about it with each other. You didn't have that luxury at first. Neither did he. Think of it this way, is it fair that you're the only one that can't share it with anybody? No! People shouldn't put other people in that position. I'm not condoning telling people's secrets to the world, but lets be real here. Everyone does it. It's impossible to keep things to yourself. Nobody should expect you to. As you grow older, people's attitudes with their secrets will change. They'll know that it's impossible to keep things completely secret. People will tell secrets to other people when they know that the person they are telling won't tell people that will exploit those secrets. Not that they won't tell anybody at all. It's about trust, not promises. Promises are always broken because they are a one way street. Trust is a two way street that gives both people the right to do what they want with it. The girls you told aren't going to blackmail him because of what you told them, so what you did fits with trust. It's not like you told his secret to his parents. You told it to people that you trust. Morally, I think that what you did is fine. If it does happen to get back around to him and he asks you directly if you told anyone you are going to have to fess up to what you did. I wouldn't worry about it though. Stuff that happens at sleepovers usually stays with the people that were there. Good luck. :)
my friend emily is totally in love with this guy named... matt. matt is like the epitome of american hottness, with tan skin, blue jeans, blond hair and blue eyes. she is infatutated with him, and has sent him valentines and everything, BUT has not asked him out yet. i am getting sick of hearing sighing and giggling over him from emily, especially since i like love him too, but only for a shorter time than hera nd i haven't sent any valentines or anything, considering itz april now. emily doesnt know that i like matt too, and i dont want her to get all freaked out at me. not to be mean either, but i so think that he would be so more likely to go out w/ me and not her, but i am so afraid of asking him out since emily is one of my best friendz.
Well, if you want to date Matt please do. He's not Emily's guy so don't treat him as such. He is fair game. If Emily isn't doing anything about her crush for him that's her problem. If he's such a good looking guy and he's still single, what does she honestly expect to happen? SOMEbody is going to ask him out. Why not just make it you? You don't want to miss out too!
Since she is your friend it would be very respectful of you to talk to her about it beforehand. Don't ask her if it's okay. Tell her that you're going to ask him out. It's very important that you make it clear that you've made up your mind. Don't let her talk you out of asking him out and be very firm with her. You've given her so many chances to ask him herself and you've decided that you're waited long enough and you're going to go after what you want. Even though you need to be firm it's okay to apologize to her since I would imagine you would genuinely feel sorry for her anyway. Telling her about it beforehand, even though she may take it very badly is the respectful thing to do. It is better than her finding out that you asked him out after the fact.
Even though you may lose her friendship over this, in the whole scheme of life, asking him out is the best thing for EVERYONE. You'll have the chance of being in a relationship with Matt, which is good for the both of you even if it doesn't work out. You'll have the experience of having been in the relationship to use in future relationships and you'll have happy memories to take with you. Even if he rejects you, it'll make you that much better and stronger of a person. Emily will learn a valuable lesson. She needs to know what she wants, know how to get it, and go out and do so.
I hope that Emily understands and reacts maturely about this so that you can remain friends with her. Even though it's sometimes for the best, losing a friend is never much fun. The best of luck to you!
when people are making out and about to have sex in a movie and the girl says "one minute i'll be right back" and goes to the bathroom, what is she doing in there? id happens alot and i just want to know what the girls doing
There's lots of things she could be doing. Going to the bathroom is one. Another would be making sure she looked good, applying makeup, etc. One thing that hasn't been mentioned, which definintely should be, is that she could be putting in some form of birth control such as a diaphragm. Safe sex is very important and sometimes movies will promote it even if very subtly.
Can someone please tell me an inexpensive way to get rid of all these zits? I am 30 years old & I have pimples like crazy. I have spent countless hours & way too much money on all these face washes & creams that don't do anything. I am also allergic to benzoyl peroxide...the main ingredient in most acne products. Thanks.
Since you're 30, this isn't just normal teenage pimples. You should definitely see a Dermatologist. A Dermatologist is a doctor specializing in skin. Perscription acne medication is not hard to get. You could get it for very mild acne if you really wanted to. Perscription acne creams actually work. I've been using them for a few years and I've had great results. One of my friends has taken pills for acne since she was young because she had it so bad and I never saw a blemish on her face ever after that. Don't be worried about the Dermatologist's appointment. When I went, the doctor asked me a few questions, looked at my face from across the room, wrote me a perscription, and I was out of there in 10 minutes. Make an appointment with a Dermatologist today! You won't regret it. Good luck. :)
Alright, so my boyfriend has to move in about a month, and he got really upset when he found out. I asked him why and he said the only reason was because he was afraid of losing me. He started to act really sweet and always make me feel like I was his number one priority, like when we first started dating. Now he found out he isn't moving that far, so he is almost acting like his old self, having a sort of 'I don't care' attitude. I know he loves me because he was so concerned about leaving me, but how do I get him to realize that even if he doesn't go that far there is still that chance of losing me? I mean, I just want him to act that way all the time not just when there are threats against our relationship.
Don't be selfish. You can't expect that much out of relationships. It's nice when stuff like this does happen and it will happen again sometime, but to expect it all the time is not realistic. You know how much he cares about you from the way he acted when he thought he'd lose you. It would take way too much effort and energy on his part to act like that all the time. It wouldn't be him because it would be forced. Keep the memory of the times when he is really sweet to you in your head. He loves you just the same then as he does now. Who cares if he shows it, you need to trust that it's still there. If you want a guy to show it all the time every day, this guy isn't the guy for you. It's just not who he is. Come to think of it, if that's what you really want from relationships there are very very few guys out there for you. When you love someone, you can't just love their individual characteristics. You have to love that person as a collective whole. You may not like when he does or does not do something, but you've got to love him anyway. This is a favorite quote of mine - "Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have." Keep that in mind and try not to have such high expectations for your boyfriend or you may lose him. He is a great catch. He cares so much about you. Much more than most other guys would. That's what matters. Not how he shows it. Good luck.
I don't know why but I've recently became very sensitive to the slightest noise when I'm studying. Whenever I study, I want my environment to be purely quiet; to the point where I can hear crickets in my ear.
Everytime when I study, my ears will listen out for any little noise that's made. I'll keep anticipating any noise that I will hear and that's bad!! Can someone help me with this problem? I really can't live with this because I really have to get down to business and start concentrating on my work.
Pls don't tell me to use white noise or radio. I need psychological-type and not physical-type of advice, if you know what i mean.
I'd really appreciate any help, bcos I desperately need it.
Many many people have this problem including myself at times. Honestly, lots and lots of people in the world need complete quiet to study. It is very hard to psychologically get over something the way you want to even if you talk with a professional about it. You already know that you have a problem so anything that we say to you you've already said to yourself in your head and it hasn't worked. It's not going to work coming from us either. Any type of psychological advice will be absolutely useless to you unless you spend a lot of money seeing a shrink, which is absolutely unnecessary. You don't have to make this into a psychological problem. People that have trouble studying with background noise, don't let it affect their lives by changing the environment, not their minds. The more you try to "fix" your mind, the worse it will get. It'll fix itself just as quickly with a ton of effort as it would with absolutely no effort on your part. What you need to do is accept your problem and find a way to deal with it. You could go outside and sit in the car or listen to loud music through headphones. I would suggest going all out and actually buying a pair of noise cancelling headphones that won't let any sounds get into your ears and use those when you study. You know, like the headphones people use when they mow the lawn and stuff. No sound is getting through those. You wouldn't even have to listen to any music. There's really no reason to work hard to eliminate the source of the problem if you can just eliminate the problem itself. Whether you change your attitude about your problem or not, the problem will still be there. Just find the best way to live with it. Good luck.
please dont judge me if i ask you this but, what are the signs of being horny? what do you do? or how do you feel?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_arousal
Butterflies in your stomach are a common sign. Click on the website link I gave you to see a complete list. Other than that, it's different for everyone. Different people will react different ways and feel different ways. There may even be variations on what the signs are too. The website has a pretty in-depth explanation. It's strictly informational so don't worry.
ok so.. i recently just got back with my boyfriend. and i went to his myspace and his friend posted something to him it said "so what happened on friday with the girl" so i went to his friends myspace to see what he wrote because i was curious. and i went and my boyfriend wrote the thing on friday didnt happen because me and her are in a mess right now so nothing happened. whats that suppose to mean? is he playing me? and how do i confront him about this i cant tell him that i stolked his myspace. what do i tell him? what do i do? i really like him but i dont know whats going to happen now help please
thaks in advance.
"the girl" is probably a reference to you! Don't worry about it. If you look too far into this it could screw up your relationship even more. Work on getting through the problems that you already have with him instead of creating new ones. If you're not convinced that it's you that your boyfriend's friend was talking about, ask him. Don't accuse, just ask him if his friend was referring to you because you were really curious. If something is going on, you'll know by the way he reacts to your innocent question. Really though, if you can keep it in, please do. In all likelihood nothing weird is going on. If you ask about it your boyfriend may think you have trust issues, which is never good. Just try to relax. Good luck. :)
ok....im 13 and pregnant i dont want to tell my family because i think they will be ashamed.I dont want to get an abortion because i think its wrong.I also dont want to give "it" up for adoption, because my friend was adopted and he doesent like it.I just really need some help.What should i do?
A mother needs to put her child first over everything. Whether you meant for it to happen or not, you are going to be a mother at least for the duration of your pregnancy. Don't you want a healthy baby? Doesn't your baby deserve that? It's going to be really hard for you to take all of the classes and get all of the advice from doctors and such that you would need for this to happen. Your baby needs this so you need to tell your family. Even if they are upset about it at first, they will support you and make you feel so much better about things. Don't be so quick to leave out adoption just because your friend doesn't like it. Sure it's hard to know that you're adopted, but wouldn't you rather grow up in more of an ideal family situation? There are cons to it, but they are far outweighed by the pros if you are not ready to raise your baby. My fiance was adopted and he's fine with it. He's very happy that he grew up with his adopted parents. Not only did they want him, but they're wonderful people. Adoption is a very positive thing. Don't base your decision on one person's opinion at one time in their lives. Your family can help you decide what to do. Tell them today.
Im 17/F and ive never really had a relationship. Ive hung out with alot of guys and talked with alot of guys but never wanted to have a real relationship with any of them. All my friends have bfs and makes me feel like im abnormal that i dont want a bf..i just want to have fun. Am i weird?
There's a big difference between being too picky and not wanting a boyfriend. Which is it? If it's just that you don't want a boyfriend, it's normal and it won't be a problem for you. If it's that you're too picky, you're going about things the wrong way. If you've never been in a relationship before, how can you know what you want from one? Your pickiness has no basis. If you wait for the perfect guy to come around, he probably will, but you could find yourself in a pickle. Without the experience from being in other relationships you could really screw up your chance with Mr. Right. Worse yet, you may find that Mr. Right isn't as right for you as you had imagined. Fantasy is very different from reality. Having relationships when you are young is important. You learn valuable lessons for future relationships. Future relationships are the ones that matter. When it matters, you'll want to have enough practice to be able to make them work out. Now, I'm not saying that you can't learn a lot from just plain observation and I'm certainly not telling you to go out and be a slut. What I'm saying to you is that you need to get out there and get involved in the dating world. Don't change who you are, just change your attitude and your persepctive. I was 18 and a half before I started dating so trust me, I know what I'm talking about. I regret not dating when I was younger every day of my life. I got lucky and found a guy that was willing to be really patient with me and help me through my inexperience, but that inexperience could have easily messed things up for us so many times. The older you get, the less patient guys will be with your inexperience. The truth is, people aren't all that different from each other. There are probably 50,000 people on Earth that you could spend the rest of your life with and be perfectly happy. Nobody has one true love out there somewhere. People are people. We're all so much alike it's sickening. If your standards are too high, you'll never be happy. Everyone has flaws. It's not about finding the perfect someone because you wont. It's about finding a someone that is perfect for you. The only way to do this is to go out and experiement. Find a guy that you would enjoy hanging out with and go on a date or two with him. You won't regret it and it could help you so much in the future and maybe even in the here and now. Good luck!
I get really bored online. I need something to do, to keep me entertained.
What are some online fun things I can do?
Sites? Games?
I already do myspace. lol.
Thanks!
Try Runescape. I find it really interesting and entertaining when I get really bored. It's basically a free fantasy role-playing game. Everyone in the game is a real person. It's pretty cool and it'll keep you occupied for awhile.
http://www.runescape.com/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Runescape
Ok, so everyone is told that we need a certain amount of sleep every night (usually 8 hours, sometimes more). My question is, does it matter if all X hours are in a row? Or is it equally healthy to, for example, sleep 6 hours and then take a 2 hour nap?
In case there is a difference, I am interested in knowing the answer to this question both from a general health point of view, and also in relation to muscle regeneration (following weight lifting/ fitness activities). Please do answer even if you only know one or the other.
Thanks.
It's not the same if you split it up. In order to go into "deep sleep" mode you have to be asleep for a few hours. During that time is when your body gets the most rest. Here's some articles with more information. There are a lot more of them out there so if you want more information just use a search engine.
http://www.webmd.com/content/article/62/71838.htm
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sleep#Sleep_physiology
I am 15/f. I can almost always predict when I will be ill with a fever (before I get the fever...) because all of a sudden I can smell this certain scent that I never smell whenever I'm feeling well. It's sort of a sickly almost bodyodor-like smell and it drives me nuts! I know there is probably nothing I can do about it, but what causes this? I am very hygienic and take a shower every day. Is my nose becoming more sensitive to weird smells as I become ill? Or am I emitting some different type of odor when I'm sick? I asked my friends if I smell different (haha, I know, weird) and they said I smell like soap. Thanks!
It's probably a differene in the mucus in your nose. You know, snot. When you're sick it would make sense that it would be a little different. It's not that YOU smell any different, it's the inside of your nose does so it wouldn't be that obvious to other people, just you.
How do I get my own forum?
Take a look at mine. I have really specific directions there.
http://www.advicenators.com/talkaboutme.php?userboard_id=25421
Good luck! :)
My ex came over and we were planning on having sex, but I wanted to you know... be intimate before we did. He got aggravated and took me in my room slammed the door and pretty much ripped off my ckothes and commenced to having sex, I didn't say no because at first I thought it was funny then as we went on I was just like.. let him finish and that'll be it forever. So finally he was done... but I didn't say anything. I felt dirty and nasty, my friend said that it was rape but... I don't know. What do you think?
Yes, it's definintely rape. However, it cannot legally be considered rape. So, if you took him to court over it you wouldn't win because you never told him "NO", but that doesn't change what actually happened to you and how it made you feel. My guess is that your ex had no idea that your feelings had changed about what you wanted to do. He didn't purposely rape you. It wasn't entirely his fault. I could be wrong, but I think that you feel dirty and nasty, not about what he did, but about what happened overall. There's a big difference. I think that you can get through this if you talk to him about it. Tell him what happened and how it made you feel. With his sincere apology, all of this should be much easier to handle. Lastly, let me give you some advice for the future. Don't have sex, make out with, or do anything sexual with an ex. It's just not a good idea. I wish you the best of luck in getting through this and remember that no matter what, if you don't want to do something, say no! :)
Okay can ya'll just tell me some cool songs that have a good beat?
"Cells" by The Servant has an amazing instrumental part that has been used in a few movies. It's great with or without the lyrics.
ok here are most of the bands i listen to: the offspring,green day,sum 41,blink 182,all american rejects,the used,korn,hawthorne heights,nickelback,my chemical romance,red hot chili peppers,avenged sevenfold,nirvana,three doors down,system of a down,from first to last,bowling for soup,linkin park, taking back sunday,and rise against. mostly i like punk rock like the offspring and sum 41 so i was wondering if anyone knew any punk rock bands? and anyone know good emo rock bands like the used? im into that stuff :D. and any other good rock bands like my chemical romance etc.? i listen to the radio but i dont really find it quite helpful >.
Something Corporate is a great punk rock band. Other bands you would probably like are Yellowcard, Fall Out Boy, and Good Charlotte. I'd also recommend the Goo Goo Dolls even though they're more just plain rock. I always recommend them, they're my all time favorite. :)
Ok. So here's the situation.
I had sex on friday night, and the condom ripped, and I'm not on birth control. But I did take the morning after pill the next day.
My period is always kinda irregular, like i never know what day exactly to expect it. But now my question is that....if you are pregnant, when you miss your period, do you still get cramps and other symptoms, and just no blood, or just no period or symptoms at all?
what are the chances of me being pregnant? i should be getting my period sometime this week, and today i had really bad cramps and my back hurt prtty bad too.
russianspy1234 is right. The pill can really mess up your entire body so don't worry about what's happening. It pumps you full of so many hormones at once that often, your body can't exactly take it. I took one once and I have been ridiculously careful ever since. It made the "PMS" worse, which is probably what you're experiencing, and my period came 2 weeks early. It freaked me out more than what had actually happened. Plus, the increased moodiness, aches, and pains weren't something I ever want to experience again.
It's good that you're being responsible sexually. Kudos for using a condom in the first place and even more kudos for getting the pill right away. For the future, make sure you are doing everything that the instruction booklet in the box of condoms says to do. Check it for tears once it's on, use lube, there's more but I won't list it all here... Condoms can be very effective if you use them right. The problem is, very few people do. Make yourself one of them and this won't happen again. Good luck.
Ok so i got my period like..10 days ago and it lasted its usual 5 days..and i still had a little bit of bleeding for the last few days..and now it seems i am getting my period again for some reason..i am on the pill and during this round i had forgotten to take a few of the pills so i think things were thrown off a bit..could i be bleeding becuase of like a hormone imbalance? or is it possible that i am pregnant..even tho my bf never cums in me..[plz help thmx.
Forgetting to take pills can definitely throw off your period. From your question I can't tell if you're using the pull out method with your boyfriend or if you're abstaining from intercourse. If you are abstaining, you're fine. If you are using the pull out method stop it right now. The pull out method is NOT effective. He might as well be ejaculating inside of you, that's how ineffective it is. You could definitely be pregnant. Even though you are on the pill, please start using a different form of birth control (comdoms) especially if you're going to be forgetting pills often. Missing just one pill or even taking it at a different time of the day than usual can leave a big enough window for you to ovulate, which makes it possible for you to get pregnant.