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Rape... or no?
My ex came over and we were planning on having sex, but I wanted to you know... be intimate before we did. He got aggravated and took me in my room slammed the door and pretty much ripped off my ckothes and commenced to having sex, I didn't say no because at first I thought it was funny then as we went on I was just like.. let him finish and that'll be it forever. So finally he was done... but I didn't say anything. I felt dirty and nasty, my friend said that it was rape but... I don't know. What do you think?
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well it depends. if you were willing the whole time> then no it was note rape. but if you told him to stop then it was rape. maybe he was just mad because you were taking a long time and you know how guys are> they like to get straight to the point. well hope i helped. snowbunny
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Well would say no you were not raped if you wanted to do it you sould just feel lucky!
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Yes, it's definintely rape. However, it cannot legally be considered rape. So, if you took him to court over it you wouldn't win because you never told him "NO", but that doesn't change what actually happened to you and how it made you feel. My guess is that your ex had no idea that your feelings had changed about what you wanted to do. He didn't purposely rape you. It wasn't entirely his fault. I could be wrong, but I think that you feel dirty and nasty, not about what he did, but about what happened overall. There's a big difference. I think that you can get through this if you talk to him about it. Tell him what happened and how it made you feel. With his sincere apology, all of this should be much easier to handle. Lastly, let me give you some advice for the future. Don't have sex, make out with, or do anything sexual with an ex. It's just not a good idea. I wish you the best of luck in getting through this and remember that no matter what, if you don't want to do something, say no! :)
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If you planned on having sex like you said - was it an actual conversation/oral agreement or did you both just ASSUME (without words) that it was going to happen? If you had any kind of discussion beforehand, then of course he was going to believe that this was going to happen. If you did not want to have sex, you could have disagreed on the decision at that time & avoided him coming over all together. Since he took off your clothes (ripped or not) & you had sex with him WITHOUT verbally telling him "NO" & WITHOUT any kind of resistance, you probably don't have a strong case. Guys can't read your mind, especially if you led him on & you're going with the idea (in your mind: like it or not.) Most people who are truly raped don't think it's "funny" for their exes to rip off their clothes & force themselves onto them. & they don't just lay there & allow it to happen. They'll scratch, they'll scream, they'll do whatever it takes to get out of the horrible position that they are in. Without that kind of evidence, you don't have much to prove. You also said you planned on having sex with him, but you just wanted to be intimate beforehand. Just because things didn't go your way as far as HOW you got there, does not make it rape either. You could have said NO at that point where he became agrivated & THEN it would have been considered rape if he continued to go along with it anyway. But since you went along with it, he can't assume that you don't want to unless you speak up. Now, I am not saying you deserved what you got. It was definitely wrong - BUT in the courts, I don't think it'd be considered rape with what you have told us. It just sounds like you allowed things to happen, didn't say anything at the time & now regret it.
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Almost the same thing happened to me...except it wasn't my ex and I did say no. But, I think that it was rape b.c u felt dirty about whatver happened and possibly regretted not saying no. The one thing I know u should do, that I wish I did, was press charges. What if he does this to someother girl you know? You'd probably feel guilty. Oh and keep the clothes for evidence but try not to get your finger prints on it. Good luck =D
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Your friend is right, this is rape. First off, he got aggravated, took off your clothes and had sex with you WITHOUT your consent. You don't have to say "no," for it to be considered rape. The fact that he did something by force and without your initial approval, makes this rape. You should be vocal about your concerns and let it be known when you don't want something to happen. But still, your situation gives him no right to treat you the way he did.
Whether or not you said anything does not change the fact that he had non-consensual sex with you. He raped you. It's not always easy to tell what does or does not classify as rape, but you'd be surprised by what does. Sometimes girls deny that what happened was rape, but it still is just that. Rape means forced sex, without consent. That's that. He got aggravated, slammed the door, did not get your approval to have sex, tore off your clothes, and had sex with you. You felt dirty- and actually thought it MIGHT be rape. Well, I'm so sorry to tell you this, but it was.
This is something you need to tell a councelor about. You can even press charges- you know the guy's name. Keep the clothes you were wearing as evidence, if need be. Another important thing is (hopefully not too much time has passed)-do not douche, try not to shower until you can get phsyical evidence of the act (semen, etc.). Think this over, talk about it with a councelor- they can give you more advice. You may be in denial, which is perfectly normal. But do realize there are things you can do about this.
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Any type of sexual intercourse that you do not give consent to is rape. Sorry about that happening, if I were you, I would press charges. If they don't say its rape it would definitaly be aggrivated assault. Good luck
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im so sorry that that hapened and everything...but if you where planning on having sex, and you didnt say no, and you were like "just let him finish" then it is not rape
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