Well, I don't think you're making things any better by not doing anything with her when she asks. Maybe at times, she just feels lonly now because she doesn't get as much time with you anymore, or as much as she used to. Don't be upset with her, just explain to her that you are really into this guy and that you wouldn't give up your friendship for him. I don't know exactly how shes acting about the situation, but you sound a little harsh on her. Have some times where you spend time with her and your boyfriend together. It wouldn't hurt.


-TheTeenGirl

You can get over him, and you should. I know its hard to hear this, but its all laid out on the table, he wasn't a great boyfriend to you. So why chase him? I know you think that you'll never be happy again, or you don't feel pretty, and everything is down lately, but thats the feeling of a hard break up, and basically what you can use is time for yourself, and a friend to be there helping you. I know it won't help to tell you that its better to move on, and that things will be better, and that he was not worth all of your time to spend with if he was treating you badly. But soon, after you get over him, you'll see that there is a better life after him, and without him there hurting you.


-TheTeenGirl

When you start a relationship with someone you don't know, its always going to be boring in the beginning. If your friend really likes this guy, then she needs to give it time, otherwise, she needs to move on until shes more patient with guys. The best way that she can move things up to a talkative level, is to just talk to him at school, after school, start a conversation. If shes afraid, then start being with her and call him with her so that you can get her started, you have to get some guts to call him, because he probably feels the same. Its not really about showing people that you are a couple, it just has to be about being comfortable, and making changes with this guy, and start talking more, she'll be more satisfied if she starts up conversations and gets o know him better. Sure, it may appear as a friendship, but as long as you're moving in further with conversations.



-TheTeenGirl

Don't put yourself down over that. I know that solos may seem like a huge deal to you, but don't make yourself think that you weren't good enough because you didn't get the part. It doesn't prove that she is better either, its life's way of saying that other people have their own talents like yours, and that they have to have their turn too, even if the girl isn't your favorite person in the world. I know it has to hurt to have your reputation of winning ruined, but its going to look bad if you have a bad behavior about it, its like if someone were to know that you were so angry about not getting the part, they'll just think, "wow, I thought she was a better person than to say those things because she didn't win." You just have to say, 'hey, just because I didn't win this time, it doesn't make me suddenly bad at it, I'm still great at solo, and I guess other people are good too, so I just have to go my separate way, and know that someone else is feeling the feeling I had when I won, and even though shes not a very good person, at least someone else can have a turn.' You have to keep a good attitude about it, and stay strong. Thats what makes a winner a true winner at life.



-TheTeenGirl

I know you're probably getting a lot of corny answers such as, "you should follow your heart, and be yourself."


But, I think I might have something to make it not so corny. I guess this all comes down to you and your friends. I don't know who you are now, and who you were, but your best bet is to be the 'you' that was enjoyable to be. So, you say this guy changed your life and brought out the new you, was it a good you, someone you really liked being? Was it hard being the new you? Or maybe, you didn't really change into another person exactly. Maybe you were in this shell, and have finally broken out a little bit. Now, I am NOT talking about falling in love and making out, having sex, trying drugs, THAT is a whole new person. I'm talking about maybe you weren't so outgoing, and this guy helped you be more outgoing. Decide which 'you' was more comfortable and healthier for you, and when you finally know which one, decide if your friends will like it even though they aren't satisfied with who you chose, if they care so much about it, then they aren't worthy as friends, you are who you are, and theres noone stopping you unless you let it stop you.



-TheTeenGirl

YES! That is a big yes! It is really wrong for a guy whose suppose to be the mature one, and to go and hit on a young girl like that. They are nothing but big perverts that you need to stay away from if you or someone you know is happening to right now. The age gap is way too big for a 13 year old girl.


-TheTeenGirl

I don't know if this guy is really ok for you. He called your ex boyfriends and threw unreasonable threats at them? That was uncalled for, he sounds like a jerk to be having the nerve to threaten people like that, he almost sounds like a danger. A controlling type of danger. He seriously has no right to contact guys that are in your past unless he is friends with them, but isn't that the reason why you have past and a present? So that whatever happens in the past can stay in the past, and we can go on into the present of life? Sorry, Harrison is taking it too far when it comes down to threats and bringing up past boyfriends who most likely have not been a threat to you. I am pretty sure you have feelings for him, but hes uncalled for, you can do much better.

[ Let me quote something in your question, "and he told all my current x boyfriends..." And you rated me a 3, and explained that it was only done to a COUPLE of them. Stop with the excuses, I could care less for my ratings, but I don't think you look any better rating me a 3 and then lying.]

-TheTeenGirl

The only way this situation can get any better is to address it to an adult, such as your parents and school principle or counselor. Revenge is just a big game to make your school year more stressful and overwhelming, because if you push back, then Maggie will just keep pushing you again, there won't be a stop. The mature person in a situation puts an ending to a fight, make you that person. If you find that an adult for some strange reasons can't fix the problem, (which would be very ridiculous, seeing as the school is suppose to fix problems that happen at school), then keep paying attention to your work, so the guy you like knows about you, oh well. I guess thats too bad for Maggie, because she has nothing better to spend her life on than telling secrets and looking nasty to other people even though they don't have nasty reactions. But, sooner later, she'll notice how you didn't go and spread her secrets, because you're are better than to be evil to someone even though they aren't your friend. Remember that revenge will keep the fight going, so leave that option out.



-TheTeenGirl

So, I didn't get that much of an explaination of what went wrong when you said, 'thank you'. What was wrong with just saying that? Was it that bad? I think when someone is nice, by giving or sharing something with us, we say, 'thank you', or 'thank you so much' and a hug maybe. Maybe you felt dumb for saying it because maybe your words came out dull? You just said it quietly and didn't sound very thankful for what he said, because, I truly can't think of anything else to say, except, "thank you so much, and I really think you're beautiful too" You could give a compliment back if you think that would be better. I think thats what the guy can only explain from you, a simple 'thank you'.




-TheTeenGirl

Then shes probably just using you by now. You know for sure that shes trying to get away from you, she lies and says her phone bill is high, and yet shes taking to other males, she says she'll call you in a minute, but you don't recieve a phone call at all. Theres a big sign you already can't ignore. It sounds to me like shes moving on from you to another guy now, the only thing you can do is tell her you know her game now, and that its over. I know you don't want it to be over, but shes running away from you, don't tolerate her game. You could always talk to her about it, but I doubt she'll understand for the way shes acting.

The next time you see your girlfriend, ask her whats been going on lately with you both, and if she deoesn't know, ask her if shes interested in you anymore, and if so, invite her somewhere, like to your house again. And for a 2 month relationship, sex is probably the last thing that will keep you and her going, so maybe you should start going places more instead of having sex, because, its only been a month into the relationship, start with the little things. The sex isn't even special now, because it happened so fast. Start asking her how she feels with you, get to know her! Spend moments getting to know her, I promise that you'll both be better satisfied finding new things about each other.

Another reason why she could be avoiding you is maybe shes the type of girl who will have sex with any guy, and then move on. Don't be shocked if that is whats happening, because you both had sex a month later, so now she might be moving on. Thank you for asking, reply if you want.



-TheTeenGirl

I know that it sounds harsh to have to turn him down, but you truly have to tell him that its getting a little intense for you. And it doesn't mean that you don't appreciate his effort to make things greater for you and him, you just aren't ready for that level yet, and you have to tell him this, because for the obvious reason, it won't be enjoyable if you go through with it, and for another, it will make you a stronger person. If you learn to tell your boyfriend what bothers you, and what makes you uncomfortable, then you won't have to sit and worry jumping up and down about a situation where the truth needs to come out. Along with telling him your discomfort, tell him your concern about the sex happening more than the romance, I know it seems hard telling him these things, but just remember why you shouldn't go through with it, and why its only the best for you and him. Make your bond stronger by discussing your feelings, I promise you, that you will feel a lot better.



-TheTeenGirl

I think the point is, that your friend needs to know, whether she will believe you or not, or be upset, mad, or depressed. She needs to be told no matter what reaction she has to it. You need to just assure her that you wouldn't lie to her, you wouldn't get her hurt on purpose, and that you only want her to have the truth from her best friend, and you just need to tell her, and if she starts getting rude and upset, just assure her again, and just say, "You can believe me, or you can't, I'm just letting you know what I saw this guy do, if you choose not to believe me, you can find out for yourself later, but I am telling you now, because you don't deserve this." Thats basically all that you can do until she finds out for herself. And just remember that this is about your best friend, so don't go up to her boyfriend and start yelling at him, because this situation isn't even half about him, its about his actions, and don't let a bunch of your friends yell at him either, again, that will solve noting, the only person who can fix this situation is him or your friend.



-TheTeenGirl

The best you can do in this situation is to try not to focus on whether you like the guy or not when he has a girlfriend already. If you dwell on your feelings for him, then it just might be a big mess for you, because you're good friends with his girlfriend, and you hopefully wouldn't pick on a guy with a girlfriend. If you know your friend would tell, then don't even bother to tell her that you're getting mixed and confused feelings for him, at least you know how she is. You just need to remind yourself that he has a girlfriend, and it would be rude to intrude on their relationship.


-TheTeenGirl

The best you can do about him trusting you is to not get in trouble with boys. Don't push the trust, just stay out of trouble, don't sneak to see a boy when he doesn't want you to, the only way you can prove your dad that you're trustworthy with boys is to just not be caught in a bad act with one. Your dad is just looking after you and worrying just like every dad should. As for his moods, the best you can do is to tell him that when you have done something wrong, that you don't mean it, and that you always try to let his good moods last because you enjoy time with him when hes happy. I'm not saying to have a little cheesy daddy to daughter chat, just let him know that you don't mean to do what happens to get him out of his good mood. Just let him know, and he'll remember what you said even if it doesn't feel like it.



-TheTeenGirl

I think that you need to take care of yourself before you try to be with a guy. You sound like a lot of things are going wrong in your life right now, try to talk to your mom about how you've felt lately, even though shes not being so nice right now. She'll probably feel happier that you've come to her to explain your feelings, she might not be having a nice life right now either, she may be missing your dad too, and things may be going bad for her too. I know you probably hate the idea of telling your mom how you've felt, but I think that its important that you give it a fair shot. Before you go off and worry about your physical appearance right now, try to help your looks inside. In other words, focus on how you feel and fix that instead of complaining about your hair and extra body fat. Talk to someone that can help you. Please give your mom a chance.


-TheTeenGirl

How can you say that its pure torture to sit and talk to someone? The point of being with a counselor is to explain your feelings and your problems you have in your life, and the counselor tries to help the situation, or just talks to you and gives advice. Its not pathetic, it will socialize you better to let out your thoughts, and you'll feel better about having somebody to talk to, and being comfortable after being there for a while. You need to give that a chance, your parents only want the best for you, and why not give it a shot? You can speak to people, you just have to start from one person that you know will talk back and help you. Just go to a few sessions and make sure that you tell that counselor how you feel when you talk to people. Take it from someone who actually is 15, and is seeing a therapist right now, it is not as bad as all of the other brainwashed teenagers make it out to be, trust me.

-TheTeenGirl

I think it is time to have a talk with your boyfriend about this. It sounds to me like his family is constantly intruding yours, and he needs to step up to his mom, and say, "mother, I enjoy your presence, but my girlfriend and I would like more privacy." You're both adults now, and that is the point of moving on with your own life, its suppose to be an exciting eventful thing when your parents come by, not a daily thing. Explain to your boyfriend that you do love his parents, but you feel like they don't like you too much because of their comments towards you, and that you'd like to start having more days alone together. Your boyfriend needs to stop being a "mamas boy" and start telling her when shes crossing the line. Seeing them all of the time has to be anouying at times, so of course its ok to feel that way, and just remember that just because your boyfriend ends up telling her that she needs to start giving you both time alone, it doesn't mean that you're making him love his family less, and that you're being selfish, this is 100% normal, and he will learn to get over the fact that hes not living with mommy anymore.



-TheTeenGirl

How do you think your husband would react if he were told that you've been talking to a man on the internet when hes gone for the past 3 years? The conversation would probably not go well at all. Whether you both did or didn't talk about sex and cheating, its still wrong. Its like hiding something important to you from your husband. And if you think your husband shouldn't care, then put yourself in his shoes. Lets say your husband had been talking to a female on the internet, and kept it from you for 3 years. What would you think of this? You have to be careful with your actions here. It is painful to do that to someone thats suppose to know everything in your life. I think that you need to end this internet guy and start finding something else to do instead of talking to him, cook, clean, watch TV, go out with a friend. It may tear your husband apart, and yes, he can be torn apart, its a 3 year friendship, but since he was never told from the beginning, do you think he'll believe you? He will probably think, "Well, if it was just a friendship, and it was just friendliness, then why wasn't I told sooner?" You need to tell your husband whats been going on, and remember, if he takes it badly, then just hang in there, because he'll only be angry because he has no answers. Try very hard to answer questions for him even if the answer hurts. He'll need answers. Even if you both weren't together while you both were friends, he still should have been told.



-TheTeenGirl

Your friend isn't really a friend at all. Its one thing for her to like a guy you both like and then date him knowing that you may feel bad, but to go and call your selfish and need to accept it is wrong. Shes not a girl who thinks about anyone else but herself, she is the selfish one, the next time she calls you selfish, or is rude to you, you tell her that at least you'd consider her feelings before going after someone she likes too, so that makes her more selfish than you, and that it makes you better than her of a person and a friend. You're truly the definition of a good friend, and if one of your friends don't seem to think so, then its time to move on and tell them to get lost.


-TheTeenGirl

My name is Erin and I am now 18 years old. You may realize through out looking at my column, some of you love me and some of you flat out hate me. There's really no gray area with me I guess you can say.

I haven't given advice here in so long and it's only because I got caught up in life. But I'm more mature than I ever thought I could be.
So anyway I'm here again. It's been a long time, but I still love giving advice and still plan on it in the future.

Everyone should feel free to Private Message me for advice, I can be harsh, but I'm always trying to help someone by giving them the truth they need.

About My Ratings:
I enjoy ratings. And if I ask a question on here, I always rate the person. If you work hard to give advice, you deserve to be rated.

Website:
Gender:
Age:
Member Since:
Answers:
Last Update:
Visitors:
Main Categories:




Favorite Columnists