Alright, let me clear something up with you real quick. One of your excuses for not going was because you don't want your boyfriend to think that you are going out to cheat on him. So, let me ask, does that mean that you can't go anywhere late because your boyfriend is turning into your daddy? I hope thats not whats going on. Don't ever let that excuse stop you from going out and having a good time with some friends. I think you should go because as you said, it was the first time for you to go with this set of friends. Making new friends is a great thing to go for, and you sound a little nervous, but don't let that stop you either, it's your time to judge whether they are true friends or not. If not, too bad, you all go your separate ways, if so, then great, you have more friends to go out with. But don't make it a habit to go out every single night, because your boyfriend is still there, but I'm telling you that hes just going to have to stay home afraid of him being cheated on, because he can't keep you inside for the rest of your life.



-TheTeenGirl

It's just hard to get over people you really liked or loved. The showing off part is really common, but the only way you'll draw his attention is to just go on with your life, and do your own thing as if you've got something important to do. That will make him wonder why you aren't putting on a show for him anymore, and he'll think you are over him. People tend to enjoy it when another person likes them even though they don't feel the same. They like the way they try putting on shows for them because then they feel worth more. But, you just have to not make eye contact with him, and just walk right by him as if you didn't happen to see him. It will have him worried I bet. Act like you have been over him for a long time too, and then, before you know it, you'll actually be over him.


-TheTeenGirl

You're experiencing some pretty normal feelings. It isn't that you don't care, it could be because either it hasn't quite hit you that she will be gone soon, or because shes old now. I want you to think about something, if you had a cousin that was only about 17, or a baby cousin that was dying, would you react differently? Of course, because it is a huge deal and so shocking when someone dies so young. It's horrid that they can't experience life like your grandma has. And as I said, it isn't that you shouldn't and don't care when an old person dies, but a lot of people are dying that are old, and it doesn't come as a shock because they are in a lot of pain, where most of them want to go. They've had enough of life and feel like they need to go. I think that you will feel differently when you go to her funeral later on. God bless you and your family, I hope your grandma gets through the big family holiday at least.


-TheTeenGirl

The only thing you can do is let her know that the friendship is over when she comes crawling to you. It was very low, you're right, but don't start fights or anything, shes a grade younger, just leave her alone. And not that it makes a difference, fighting solves absolutely nothing. All you can do is not talk to her anymore, you knew that she knew, so stop talking to her now, and as for your crush, let him be with her. I know it's painful to see, but how long do you tink it's going to last, honestly? Probably won't be long until it ends. If he wants to be with a girl who did the things that were done to you, then he'll see who hes dealing with after a while. Just give it time, and you'll see thats it's not as bad as you think.



-TheTeenGirl

Alright, let me ask you something. On your age you put "12 plus" I don't understand this, if you're only 12, I think this boy is a little too old for you, hes 14. I know you don't think it's a very big deal, but it is when you are 12, so if you don't mind getting back to me on that one, I'd greatly appreciate it.

You want to know how to break someone up so that you can have them? Because you just know theres something there? It isn't bad, it's evil, just plain evil. Why would you be so selfish enough to try to split two people apart, just for yourself? Selfish and stupidity.



-TheTeenGirl

Stop calling him. When the urge comes up to want to call him, remind yourself what hes done and the fact that you're better off than being used. I know it feels like it's the end of the world right now, but just stop calling him, instead, call a friend and talk to them. That is all what you have to do, no calling, and no hanging out. That will get you through this, and if he happens to call you, keep it short and tell him you have things to do. If you have a long conversation, that will just draw you back to him like he wants. Don't expect to feel good about ignoring him and acting busy, it's a painful proccess, but you can get through.



-TheTeenGirl

As hard as it sounds, you need to come straight home, have a snack, nothing else that has to do with your friends and just do your homework. When you get caught up in friends before you do homework, it makes it harder because you want to keep talking. And even if you feel just so lazy to get up and get your homework, just get up and tell yourself that you will do it now, and don't do some now and some later. You will feel better about having it all done right when you get home. Then, reward yourself with talking to friends and doing whatever you want. About the distractions, you need to do whatever will help you do your homework, if sitting in silence is what makes you better motivated, then work silently. If you need TV, make sure you're doing your homework too, especially on commercials. I know it doesn't feel too great doing homework at night, thats why you just have to get it done right when you come home. And as I said, have a snack. But no friends until it is all done. Try it tomorrow, and you'll see that it's way better, and do it everyday, make it a good habit forever.

-TheTeenGirl

For one, you are way too young to be talking to a 19 year old guy over the phone. This guy cannot be that great if he has nothing better to do with his time than to talk to a 16 year old girl. Thats not suppose to be offensive toward you, but you're still a minor, and hes an adult. Your parents are doing the right thing by telling you not to talk to guys that are that much older. I know it seems unfair, but your parents are being reasonable about this situation. Whether he is just your friend or not, it's just wrong. You can do a lot better, find a guy who is about your age, so that you can share closer interests, and let me advise you not to do it online either. It's your choice, but you just have to remember that you have absolutely no idea whether this guy is actually what he says he is.

-TheTeenGirl

Sadly, it is just a guy thing. They may not only just be attracted to the skinny girls, the other half is because if they are seen with an overweight girl, or a girl that nobody likes by their friends, they'll immediatly feel insecure and dump the girl. This is called major immaturity, just remember that it eventually changes even though things shouldn't have to be changed all because of crazy hormones.


-TheTeenGirl

Your friend doesn't deserve anymore chances after the things she put you through. If she was upset that you two were together a little while after, don't you think a true friend would actually tell you? Yes. Spreading rumors and being all over your guy is not the way to tell you shes not comfortable anymore. You need to tell your friend that you know for sure about her two-faced attitude, and that if she wanted to keep you as a friend in the future, that she'd better knock it off, she will act like she has no idea what you're talking about, but you need to come out and tell her you know about what's going on, and that it's hurting you. Honestly, this girl just needs to hit the road with you. She sounds really disrespectful and just evil. I don't think you'll ever find a way to get her to stop messing around unless you just tell her that the friendship is over. If her rumors continue, go to a counselor.



-TheTeenGirl

It's likely your regular hormones. It doesn't make you sick or wrong for thinking about it, it just means you're curious about it, and tend to think about it daily because it's something you havn't experienced. Just don't take actions with these thoughts by actually having sex.



-TheTeenGirl

I want to let you know that even though you both are adults now, it's never too late to try to fix things with your sister. But, she sounds really unhappy and as you said, jealous of your life and you. When you call her and she asks why, just tell her that even though things aren't and havn't been going great with you both, that you love her anyways and that you want to talk to her, not for a reason. Maybe you could even explain to her that you feel like it's time to make things right, and start inviting her places, go out with her, and if she refuses, just tell her again that you love her, and you want to make things better between the both of you. And if she continues to refuse, then explain to her again that you love her and that if theres anytime shes in need of help or someone to go out with or talk to, that you want to be that person for her. Don't get upset and say, "Well gosh I tried.." just tell her you love her and that you're there for her. She may not be ready yet, and that doesn't mean to stop offering, if you ask this week, give it a shot next week. If theres a time you get frustrated, then just remind yourself that you love her and that you want to make thing right with her and this is the only way. When shes rude, just tell her that you know shes better at grammer than you are, and that it hurts your feelings when she reminds you in a rude manner, that doesn't mean that you aren't happy for her when it comes to her success, but shes rubbing it in your face. But, don't give up on her.


-TheTeenGirl

I guess that sort of shows you what happens when you go for a guy because of only because of his appearance. You said that you can't stand how dumb he is, so maybe you should stop being with a guy whom you can't stand. I'm sorry for the short answer, but it's a pretty simple question, just don't be with him if his personality is that bad to you.


-TheTeenGirl

Unfortunatly, it is too soon to be dating again. You probably had a hard time handeling the fact that he was sexual with another female, so you're right, you might have dated his friend to hurt your ex. Now, it's ok that you did that, but you have to end it, because it will hurt him if you keep this going and he finds out. You truly need more moments to yourself and to wait until you feel ready to be with someone again. It may be quite a while, and if you were sexually active with your ex, then it's going to take longer. Just end the relationship with his best friend, and tell him that you've found that you just aren't over the other guy yet, and that you're sorry. Make more time for yourself and slow down with dating for now.


-TheTeenGirl

Every girl is going to act weird and different around guys. But, you're a normal teenage girl who worries about how shes looking while shes around guys so that she can check up on her make up and hair and clothes. It's a common thing to do. Do you notice that when you're around your family, you don't tend to look in the mirror as frequently? Thats because you know that it doesn't matter how you look or how you're dressed, your family will always love you anyway, and you see them everyday. If you want this to stop around the guys, just don't worry about your looks every 20 minutes. And if you do worry, then the guys might find it to be something they are interested in. They like confident girls, and they do like some insecure girls, but try to be confident by not looking in the mirror as badly as you want to. As for the boyfriend issue, wait on it. Of course you probably aren't ugly, it has nothing to do with that, there are so many pretty girls out there that aren't with a guy. Theres truly nothing miserable or wrong with being one of those girls.


-TheTeenGirl

He probably does want to date you. I know it seemed a little akward when he responded, and it may have sounded like he wasn't interested, but he was only confused like you were. It will always seem akward on dating with a new person for the first time. But, the point is, that you both kissed, so he knows that you want to start dating, so next time, tell him the truth in what you really want when he asks, even if it seems like he doesn't want the same. But, he sounds like he wants to be with you. Just take it easy when it comes to your strong feelings, you're really excited, and thats ok, but just be careful, you never know when it comes to guys that come from long term relationships.



-TheTeenGirl

I understand that it isn't an easy thing to tell your feelings to someone. But, your two options are to either tell him, so that he'll know, and you'll know what he thinks about it, or to either just step back and stay his friend until you are no longer afraid or until he says something later. I know that you are aware of these options, but it sounds like you'll be sticking with the second one because you're scared. And, honestly, I think that if you told him in a letter, an E-mail, over the phone, or to his face, it would make you feel stronger of a person to share your feelings. Everyone is afraid of rejection, but, if hes a true guy friend, and you both have a great friendship, don't you think that maybe it will be easier to handle if hes nice enough to tell you hes not feeling the same thing as you are? And, if he were to be rude, and laugh at you, and tell his friends and be a jerk about it, I think that reveals his feelings on your friendship he has with you. You don't have to tell him, but I'm saying that it can't be too bad when you have a bond with him, and if he ends up rejecting you, then it happens, I know the friendship will be akward to start up again, but it's about what you want to do. If you want to take a chance to tell him and possibly ruin a friendship, take the chance and tell him somehow, but if you're just too scared to be rejected, and too scared to ruin things, then you can do that too. But everyone gets afraid of rejection, and its only better to get rid of that fear than to hide from it all. Feel free to reply if you need more help.



-TheTeenGirl

I was looking through your question, and was looking for a part that said, "Oh yeah, and don't advise me to invite my sister over with me to Chuck's house" But, I'm not seeing it. Is this because your sister doesn't mind being home alone? I'm guessing so, but why not have your sister go to Chuck's, and if she doesn't want to, then let her stay at home, and be sure to keep a phone to where she can call you when she needs you or if something comes up. It's basically up to what you want to do, it sounds like you really want to go to Chuck's house though, all kids are tough, and you could just catch up with Chuck if it's that bad, and do not sleep sleep in the same room as Corey, it just isn't right to put you in that position, you'd better find somewhere else to sleep. It just sounds plain uncomfortable. But, you can find your way around this, if you want to stay with your sister, tell Chuck that you have to cancel plans to stay with her. I know that hes had a rough time, but I think a family member is more important than a friend of the family. But, I strongly think that you should convince your sister to go to Chuck's so that you all can be safe and have fun even though the kids can be tough to deal with.



-TheTeenGirl

I think you just need to tell him the truth. It's really not a huge deal to tell him that you're on your period. I know it seems embarrasing, but, if you both are close enough to be touching each other, he should know these things by now. If you come up with excuses, he will be offended either way until the excuse makes sense.


-TheTeenGirl

My name is Erin and I am now 18 years old. You may realize through out looking at my column, some of you love me and some of you flat out hate me. There's really no gray area with me I guess you can say.

I haven't given advice here in so long and it's only because I got caught up in life. But I'm more mature than I ever thought I could be.
So anyway I'm here again. It's been a long time, but I still love giving advice and still plan on it in the future.

Everyone should feel free to Private Message me for advice, I can be harsh, but I'm always trying to help someone by giving them the truth they need.

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