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I sometimes take long breaks from the site. I'm more than happy to answer anyone's questions, but just make sure they're not too time sensitive. :)

Facts about me:
*happy
*employed
*married
*large extended family
*bisexual
*advanced college degree
*no kids (yet)

advice

Ok well i think i might be depressed but i don't know?
I was looking back on old pictures and i used to always be so happy and peppy. And now i'm just not
I'm only 14 so can i be depressed?
I don't know i'm kinda confused and my mom and i arn't close. And i have no other adult to really get me help or whatever? idk what to do.

What always helps me get through mild depression is thinking to the future. Plan what you want for yourself. Make something to look forward to. Don't get stuck in the past. It's actually very normal to feel the way that you do. Just aout every teenager goes through it at one point or another. There are a lot of changes going on in your body, your mind, and your life. You aren't seriously depressed so there's no reason to seek help unless it gets worse. You'll get through it just fine and in the not so distant future you'll be just as happy as you were. Try to change the negative energy you are creating for yourself into positive energy. You must have had a great childhood with a lot of wonderful memories. That's a good thing. You're not a different person now than you were then. You're exactly the same. You're trying to be mature and act like an adult, but that's not who you are just yet. Just go out and try to have fun like you used to. Don't be afraid to get a little dirty or be a little crazy. A lot of other people your age are having similar feelings as you. Help fight them together by making new, great memories for yourselves. Good luck! :)

does anyone know any excercies that will make my boobs smaller? please help

There is no exercise that will specifically make any part of your body smaller. Losing weight in general will make your boobs smaller as it will other areas of your body. If you want to make your boobs smaller, just exercise like normal. Good luck. :)

What exactly counts as a first kiss? The first person that touches your mouth with their mouth that's not related to you or your first french kiss?

A first kiss doesn't have to be a makeout session. It can be a just a single peck on the lips. It's usually a little awkward especially if neither person is experienced. Oftentimes a "first kiss" will be a makeout session, but just because they made out doesn't mean that it was any good. It definitely doesn't look like what you see on TV. It looks ridiculously silly. Making out isn't hard to do and it does come naturally, but it also takes a little bit of practice to become good at it. I think it's best to take it one step at a time. A first kiss can be a less than happy memory if the following makeout session sucked.

How do you make this bar? |
What key(s) do you press?

Thank you for your help and this can be deleted right after I get my answer.

:] Have a nice day

The symbol for it on the keyboard is not a single straight up and down line like the symbol that it translates to when typed onto the computer. On the keyboard, it appears as a dashed up and down line - two lines with a space in the middle. As the other columnists have said, it should be below the backspace key and above the enter key on the right side of your keyboard. I'm not sure why it's pictured that way on the keyboard, it has always confused me a whole lot too. :)

okay, so me and my boyfriend were having sex on the floor, and we changed positions to where i was on the top. After "doing it" for a while, he hit a certain spot kinda up near my butt and it hurt really bad, and i started sweating and then i got light headed and then my vision started fading out, and i could only here light muffled sounds. my boyfriend was yelling but it sounded like he was far away and it lasted for like 3 minutes and then went away. Is this normal? has this ever happened to anyone before? thanks. please don't tell me i need to see a doctor because as of right now thats not a possiblity.

It sounds like you fainted because the pain was so bad. Nothing more. Just be careful from now on. There's no reason to see a doctor unless you faint again. On a side note, there are NO circumstances that put you in a position where seeing a doctor is not a possibility. If something happens to you and you feel like your health is at serious risk, see a doctor. What if, from having sex, you got torn up inside and the bleeding would not stop? That could happen as could a plethora of other dangerous things. I mean, you passed out, that's almost as serious. Sex comes with a lot of responsibilities. If your reasoning is that you are afraid that your parents will find out that you were having sex, that's not a good reason and you are not yet ready for these responsibilities and should not be having sex. Alright, so if it's got nothing to do with your parents, I apologize. Still, you must admit, whatever your reasoning is, you need to get past it and be able to get yourself to a doctor when necessary or stop having sex until you're ready. Being ready isn't just about being mentally ready for the physical encounter. It involves being physically and mentally ready for everything. Good luck.

Ok so this is a little bit complicated!!!
Currently i am on the swim team a a state college...i am on a very high scholarship but i didnt preform very well this year...i dislike my coach and i am getting very depressed doign this...i would quit ina second excpet that i need a scholarship to keep going to school here becuase i am an international student and it is way to expensive to just be a student.
I am a good runner and i think i would be able to make the cross country team... should i tranfer?? can i even tranfers?? i dont know all the rules!!

The "rules" can differ from college to college and a lot of the decisions that are made regarding issues like yours are made on a case-to-case basis. Set up a meeting with someone in the Financial Aid department at your college. They will be able to answer all of your questions and will be more than happy to help you out if they can. Good luck! :)

13/F. This entire school year I have been wearing a 32AA bra. My friends have always made fun of me for my little boobs. Well my mother got me fitted this weekend and according to the people I should be wearing a 32B bra instead. Now they dont look right on me and when I told my friends they didn't believe at all that was my size and even asked me if I stuffed. Im too afraid to wear my new bra cause I think people will believe I stuff or will say mean things about me. I dont like wearing this size bra and im going to my best friends house tonight and she deffinately doesnt believe me. What should I do?

It's your size. Wear the right size. There's no reason to be sharing these types of things with their friends if they're going to be immature about it. It doesn't matter if they believe you and they don't have to know what bra you are wearing in the first place. So basically, don't do anything. This isn't something you need to be worrying about.

my ex-girlfriend dumped me in dec b/c she couldn't commit, liked somebody else and didn't want to date me exclusively.
since then she has sent three text messages- two wishing me happy holidays (x-mas time, easter) and the other on my b-day.
well she sent the good friday/easter text on fri night and my intuition told me that it was she who called the next day and hung up (i haven't been dating).
now i said thank you in response to the happy b-day text but waited 3 days to do so.
i just don't know if she is being friendly, misses my attention or wants me to pursue her.
please note, that she picked up on me. we dated for a little over a year and now i am living a healthier life (quit drinking 103 days ago, buying a condo), and i miss her so.
i don't want to come across as desperate so i don't call.
i love her lots. oh yea, she also said that she had a secret that she didn't want to tell me a few weeks b4 dumping me. it concerns something "bad" she did b4 we'd met. in response, i told her that my love was unconditional but she couldn't open up to me and changed her mind re" seeking counseling re: commitmentphobia.
when she dumped me she told me that she'd been sexually abused by her step-dad and i wonder if that is it, if she feels guilty.
we had great sex at first and then she stopped b/c of stressful changes w/ school & work, supposedly. i didn't cheat on her and apologized for being disgruntled about not getting any.
at the same time, i am a pretty accomplished guy. i have my masters, teach, my folks are still married, so i look like a bad boy but am really sweet and caring.
i don't if her texts send more than a friendly message. maybe she doesn't either. please respeond if you feel comfortable doing so.
thank you,
~still healing

To know what's going on here you have to understand what it is to have committment problems. When someone has committment problems, they are always looking for something better when they are in relationships. Not that that's completely bad, but when it's combined with never being satisfied with the person you are with, it can have very negative consequences. People with committment problems will focus on things that they don't like about the person that they are with. Many believe that love is about finding "the one". Truthfully, there are probably about 100,000 people that you could be completely happy with for the rest of your life, not just one. People with committment problems often witnessed relationships go very badly and fear that the things that happened to those people (usually their parents) will happen to them too. This can even lead to them believing that love doesn't even exist. People with committment problems are always looking for perfection instead of creating it. They have the blueprint for their ideal individual already in their head before they start dating. It's like being found guilty without a trial. You don't even have a chance to meet their expectations. Since you can't possibly be everything that they want, they'll be disappointed. Love is something that you have to work at. It doesn't just happen. Because of the way that love is portrayed in the media, it's easy to fall into the trap of believing these myths. When you have little long term dating experience, it's easy to get the wrong ideas about how love grows too. Love isn't going to stay the same throughout the relationship. The passion and romance will die down as the relationship goes on. People with committment problems will believe that this is a negative thing and that the two of you don't have such strong feelings for each other as you did in the beginning. That's untrue. It means that your relationship is maturing into something very positive. My guess is that you're at least relatively young. Late 20's? Correct me if I'm wrong. There many young adults that don't yet have the capacity for committment. There's a lot of things they haven't realized about life and they're just not ready to settle down with someone. You are very committed and that's good. What sucks for you is that it can sometimes be hard to find someone to be in a relationship with that is as committed as you are. Your ex definitely still likes you. She didn't break up with you for any particular reason regardless of what she is using as an excuse. Even if the sexual abuse is partly responsible for her committment problems, it was the committment problems that ended the relationship and nothing else. I'm not sure I understand what you meant correctly, but it looks like she is getting counseling for her problems. That is a great start for her. Once she gets over her own fears she will be able to committ herself to someone, hopefully you. If she is not getting counseling suggest it to her. Even if after counseling she chooses not to be with you again, it can do a world of good for her. She shouldn't be having these problems especially at her age (I'm guessing she's about the same age as you). For now, there's really nothing that you can do differently. Continue your friendly exchanges, but don't try to push her. The ball is in her court. She knows you want to be with her and she will come to you when and if she feels the same. Good luck. :)

i recently lost 4 pounds. im 5'3" and 137 lbs now. but i was just wondering is this okay? and if anyone has those BMI calculators id love that. thankss.

Here's a link to the BMI calculator so you can take a look at it yourself. It can be really fun to play around with. :)

http://www.nhlbisupport.com/bmi/

As stated, I've gained ten pounds, and belly.
Binge eating and being lazy.
I've really come to terms with it though, and actauly kinda like my new soft squishy look.
But I was wondering, do guys mind it?
My friend says he won't date a girl unless she has a cushion, and he thinks that my belly is beautiful and taht I should gain even more weight.

But do guys normaly think like him?
Do they like a girl with a little extra weight?

i2.photobucket.com/albums/y11/Zeilay/P4190355.jpg

i2.photobucket.com/albums/y11/Zeilay/P4190346.jpg

http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y11/Zeilay/P4190343.jpg

Honestly, most guys won't find that attractive at all. Sure there are some that prefer a little extra padding, but the majority of people like someone that is healthy and fit. Being healthy and fit is not just a physical committment, but a mental committment too. So, it defines who you are emotionally in a sense. Someone that takes care of their body is someone with a lot of strength, character, and confidence. This type of self-worth and striving to be at your best is very attractive. I'm not saying that larger people can't feel confident about themselves, but come on. It's not something that you should strive to be. You say that you have been binge eating. I doubt that you really know what that means. Here's an example. It's towards the bottom of the page. http://www.coolnurse.com/eat_disorder.htm. My guess is that you've just been pigging out. There's a big difference from pigging out and binge eating. Don't say that you're binge eating unless you are. Although pigging out isn't that healthy, it's not nearly as severe as binge eating. You'll give people the wrong impression if you use the word "binge" if that's not what's actually going on. My advice for you is to start taking care of yourself a little better. It's just starting to warm up outside. Get out and exercise a little. I think that you'll find that guys will be much more into you if you do. Good luck! :)

what does it say when you deny a question?

"Are you sure you want to reject this question? This question was posted by an unregistered user and will be deleted." Then you click "Yes I'm sure" and it's gone. :)

what does this say to you
im a 14 yr old girl
does it say i like you
or like i want to be your friend with benefits???
what does it say
im way confused...

would you makeout with me me?
[] Hell Yea [x] Yes [] No [] Maybe

Would you sleep with me?
[] In an instant! [] Yes [] No [x] Maybe

Am I attractive?
[] Heck no [] hot as Hell [] Fine [x] Cute [] Okay [] Ugly!

Do you think I'm a virgin?
[x] Yes [] No [] Don't know

Name one thing you would like to do to me... [eh hang out]

I look like..
[] A player
[] One time thing
[/] Next bf/gf
[x] A friend
[x] A friend with benefits
[] A possibility
[] A loser

If you saw me for the first time would you talk to me?
[x] Yes [] No [] maybe

Would you rather.. ??
[x] Hook up with me
[x] Cuddle with me
[] Date me
[x] Friends
[] Friends with benefits

On a scale of 1-10 (10 being the highest), rate me..
[] 1 [] 2 [] 3 [] 4 [] 5 [] 6 [x] 7 [x] 8 [] 9 [] 10

What would you want me to be to you?
[x] Friend
[/] Girlfriend/Boyfriend
[x] Friend with benefits
[] Husband/Wife

Would you give me a lapdance?
[x] Hell Yea [] Yes [] No [] Maybe

Would u give me your number if so let me get it?you got it

thanks

You can't know what they mean unless you ask them, but it's always fun to guess. Since it's not like they actually made up the questions or possible answers, I doubt that they just want some action. This is supported by how they checked that you were "cute" instead of "hot as hell", how "yes" they would make out with you instead of "hell yea", and "maybe" they would sleep with you instead of "in an instant" or even "yes". They definitely like you as a person and they think that you are attractive. My guess is that you are already good friends. Just because someone would make out with you doesn't mean that that's all that they want or that they really want it at all. It just means that they would. Since the girlfriend/boyfriend boxes are half x'ed, I would say that they would date you, but don't really want to for now. To me, it sounds like this person is a good friend of yours that finds you physically attractive, but isn't interested in having a relationship with you.

I am 13 years old and ive had my period for just about a year now. I am fed up with using pads because they feel like diapers. My friends tell me tampons are very comfortable and you cant even notice them. Well I have tried putting them in. Umm It would get about halfway in and then whenever I push the thing u use to push the tampon in instead of pushing it in completely the plastic tube pushes backwards. I cant get it to work and it's really frustrating. I did it only one time before. Could someone please tell me what im doing wrong and how to get it to go in all the way?

Thank You so much

I could never figure out how to use the applicators. I think they're weird and messy. It's not like you have to use them. Just remove the tampon from the applicator and push it in with your finger. I believe that you can buy tampons without the applicators too if you wish. Good luck. :)

ok this is really embarasing me asking this but, how do you cure foot odar? the sweat in my tennis shoes has just built up and i cant do anything about it. im going to get new sneakers, will that help? and im starting to put powder on my feet and in my socks and shoes, is that going to help? any advice will help!!!!

Thanks!!!

My basketball sneakers used to smell realllly bad. My feet apparently sweat a lot when I play basketball. It's mostly the shoes that are contributing to the smell. The powder for your feet will help a lot. There is also powder that you can get for your shoes. I started using that and my shoes still smelled, but the powder made them smell good instead of bad. See if you can find something like that. Use it once a week or so and you should be set. If you don't wear socks start. If you do and they're really thin try some that are a little thicker. Socks will absorb sweat and keep it from soaking into your shoes.

So, I'm not a huge fan of PDA (public displays of affection). I just don't enjoy seeing other people kissing all the time in public and i'm not totally comfortable doing that myself.

My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 10 months now and i just don't like the PDA.

My friend and her boyfriend are always kissing and stuff and I just think it look trashy. And if i ever say how i feel to my friend shes just like well your not affectionate with your bf. And we are, i love to be affectionate. i just dont like to be in public.

I mean I don't mind holding hands, putting arms around eachother, hugging and a peck to say goodbye. But I feel that should be all. Is this normal?

Yes definitely. I can count the times that my fiance and I have held hands in public on one hand and we've been together for over 2 years. We're very intimate and affectionate in private. We've never made out in front of other people. It's not that we're uncomfortable showing intimacy in public, we just feel like it's silly, unnecessary, immature, and disrespectful toward others. I think you'll find that many people will agree with you. There are people out there that are like your friend, but they are in the minority, making us the normal ones. :)

um what happens if you eat the red shell the cheese is in, in those littly baby bel cheeses? i havent done it before.. but the shell if kinda soft so im wondering if you can eat it.. and what it tastes like. or is it like.. some soft plastic??

It's wax. You can chew on it like gum, I do sometimes (separate from the cheese of course), but actually eating it is pointless. I doubt it would hurt you, but it's not going to taste any good, it won't give you any nutrition, and your body may have a hard time digesting it, if it digests it at all, making it very unpleasant on the way out.

my laptop's CD rom stopped reading all CDs this morning. it has been giving me signs, finding it hard to read CDs. Can it be fixed? I dont have money to buy a new drive. or can i connnect a desk top CD drive to my laptop. i guess its cheaper.

Your computer could very well still be under warranty. I have a Dell and when my CD drive started acting up, I contacted Dell and they sent me a brand new one for free. So, contact whatever company made your computer and see if they can send you a new part at a discount or for free. There's no harm in asking. If you're not under warranty, your drive could just be dirty and not be malfunctioning because it's broken. Blow in it a lot and it might start working. If you want to go all out, get a pressurized can of air. I'm not sure exactly what they're called, but it's like a can of whipped cream with just air under a lot of pressure in it. The air comes out really fast and is great for cleaning computers out. Remember too, that the disks you are using could be scratched and it may not be your computer at all. Good luck! :)

I met this guy not too long ago. I'm 19 and he's 28. We started talking and we get along great. I think he has been very honest to me. He has a girlfriend he's been with for 4 years. She was away for work... but he told me he likes me. I started to like him a lot too. He started to ask me questions, like if I think he's cheating on his girlfriend by talking to me. I told him no, because we're not doing anything physical and I told him if he was starting to feel guilty that we could stop.... And yesterday morning he told me that he probably wasn't going to be able to see me anymore because his girlfriend was comming back. We started talking and he seemed pretty sad and I was sad... and I guess one thing led to another and we eneded up having sex...
I'm not the type of person that falls for any guy and i've always had high standards. It's really hard for me, But this time I found someone that was able to reach those standards... but he's taken. He kissed me and said goodbye. I don't think i'm ever going to see him again. I'm afraid of calling him, because his girlfriend is back... And I want to respect that and not get in the way.
Sorry this is so long. But I don't know what else to do, Any thoughts or advice?

Well, my guess is that his relationship with his girlfriend will not work out. He'll feel too guilty about what he did and that will destroy it whether she finds out about what happened or not. You'll probably get your chance with him at some point if that's any comfort. I hope you realize though, that he may be or have become disposed to cheating. If you do end up dating him, keep that in mind. He seems like a really nice guy and you definitely had a great connection. He'll miss you. A lot, and probably contact you at some point. Respect his wishes and stay out of contact with him. It'll make him miss you all the more. There's no point in trying to break him up with his girlfriend or in telling her about what happened. Not only is it the wrong thing to do and his responsibility to take care of everything with his girlfriend, but his relationship is on the rocks anyways. If you do what he wants, he'll probably turn to you after it ends. I hope that in the future, you aren't so easily seducted and can refrain from having sex with someone in this type of situation. If you hadn't had sex with him things wouldn't be complicated at all and I would have advised you to stay in friendly contact with him. Since the damage has been done, all you can do is wait and hope that his current relationship ends soon. Good luck.

Me and my bf have been going out for a long time now. i really love him and always have. Now a while back he asked me to marry him. We're both 15. I know we're young and all but we were so sure of it. But then one day not to long ago I randomly got a friend to ask him if it was still on. He said no that I had called it off along time ago. Well then my friends came back and told me and then she went back and told him that I never did and he kept saying that I did. Is he just unsure about it or something or do you think this is his way of telling me that he doesn't love me anymore? What should I do. I really love this guy.

It's nice sometimes to hear that someone would want to marry you in the future. That doesn't mean however, that you're engaged. It's just a nice thing to say to someone. Like "I'll love you forever", it's not a promise and there's no way of telling if things will turn out that way, yet you say it anyway just to be sweet and because you feel that way at the time. You two aren't officially engaged and shouldn't become so until you are at least 18. If you have any doubts that he loves you, you're not ready for such a big committment as engagement. Don't look too far into this. He loves you just the same. Everything is still "on". You're still together, he still wants to be with you in the future. He's just maturing, growing up, and getting a better grasp on what he wants for his life and when he wants it. He knows now that he's not ready for engagement, which is a very positive thing. If something is still bothering you about all of this talk to your boyfriend about it. If you're seriously thinking about marrying him in the future you've got to learn very soon that having an open mature conversation with each other will solve practically all of your problems. If you wanted to know if it was still "on" why didn't you ask him yourself? Whatever feelings caused you to do something like this, get rid of them right away. They can be detrimental to your relationship. Having a mature, one on one conversation would have been the mature, adult thing to do in that situation. It's the choice that makes the most sense. Why get someone else involved needlessly? Who knows what can happen to information when it's passed along through other people. Don't do this type of thing again. It's silly and a waste of time. Just talk to your boyfriend for goodness sake. Anyway, I hope that you realize that everything is just fine with your boyfriend and that nothing about your relationship as changed. Good luck. :)

what's the difference between "Loving" and "likeing" someone????

Both are a form of attraction, but in a different sense. If you like someone you enjoy being around them and you can relate to them. You can like the way they look, the way they act, and/or anything about them really. Loving someone takes time to grow and develop. It's like the difference between a friend and a best friend. You like your friends, but you love your best friends like they're your cousins or siblings. When it comes to romantic love between two people, it's very similar. Love is a deep emotional bond that won't form in a few days or even a few weeks. It happens slowly over time so when you finally do experience it, you probably don't even realize it until long after. I'd also like to differentiate between feeling love and loving someone. You can feel love at any time, just how you can like anything about someone at any time. You love the way your hair looks, you love the taste of chocolate, etc. You can even love certain things about a significant other. Their smile, their laugh, how they comfort you when you're down. Actually being in love with them is totally different from that. When it comes to saying "I love you" say it whenever you feel any kind of love. You don't have to fully love the person to say "I love you", just love something about them.

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