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Gender: Female
Location: Canada
Occupation: IT Girl
Age: 19
Member Since: September 28, 2005
Answers: 704
Last Update: April 6, 2007
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About Mara
Hey, I'm Mara. I love dancing. It's practically my favourite thing to do. I love House, R&B, pretty much everything with a good beat, and Benny Benassi is my hero; that's why my column is a shrine to him. I graduated this year and am now in my first year of college where I'm trying to pick a major. Chances are you'll see some of my Psychology questions floating around somewhere here. I'm also extremely interested in Political Science too because I, like half the people living in Canada, somehow want to change the world. I particularly want to find a cure for poverty, corruption, cancer, AIDS and George Bush because honestly, I think those are the biggest problems we have right now. I have decided that maybe I should take the time to live a little before I start though because I have a good fifty years ahead of me to fix all the issues there are. Currently my life consists of: studying, working, socializing, eating and ocassionaly sleeping. I spent practically all of my high school life being a delinquent and partying to huge extents until I discovered my brain sometime in the middle of my senior year. I still like to have a good time every once in a while but you always need to find that balance (I haven't exactly found it yet but I'm getting close). Unfortunatley, a habit that has stuck with me from school is my obsessive gossiping. I just can't stop and you know, an article in Cosmo says that gossipers are healthier people because they bond over it? Who would have thought? Anyway, I do have my limitations and I don't condone nasty, brutal gossiping and I don't gossip about anything my friends have told me in confidence or something about someone else that they have slipped to me, however, if I find you in a washroom at a random party making out with my bestfriends's boyfriend, a few people are probably going to hear about it. Actually, more than a few people will hear about it because one of my absolute pet peeves is parties where the all the bathrooms are occupied due to sexual activity or... puking activity. Sooooo what else is there to know about me? My favourite thing in the world is shopping and my worst fear is existantialism. I am OCDey in a clinical way so you can ask me questions about that. You can ask me practically anything you want except for dumb questions but I'm not going to answer them in my little column here because it's a huge waste of space when I could be writing about myself (Click 'LookIt' on my menubar for answers to dumb questions so you don't have to embarass yourself asking them and getting bitched out from me). What I can do, is offer you three pieces of truly inspirational advice. Firstly, never live your life by what others want of you, cherish yourself and everyone around you, and never beat yourself down about anything you couldn't have avoided. Secondly, donate at least ten percent of the income you earn in your life to someone who needs it. Lastly, never get into a bulldozer when you're under the influence and start driving it towards a poor freshmen (I am never going to another kegger ever again... ever). Ok, I'll shut up now. You can start asking me stuff, if you haven't hit the back button already.
Divit says hi
He is the cutest thing ever
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Can you tell if a guy is a virgin?
Physically, no. There is no way you can find out if a guy is a virgin or not. Ever his doctor won't be able to tell.
Otherwise, there are all signs that a guy has gotten some:
Is he cocky when discussing sex?
Is he held in higher regard by other guys?
Does he know a lot about female body parts?
Does he seem like the kind of guy who could score a girl?
But then again, a lot of guys can just fake some of this stuff. The easiest way to figure it out is to ask him.
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I need a program where you can make pictures all one color. Like purple, pink, blue, etc. I also want one to make them more pixelated. [Like with dots]Please help me with this/ If you help I'll rate 5's..
Photoshop is the best bet.
Although, you can use any program that can change your pictures from 'RGB' to 'Duotone'.
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If you had a choice would you get a BMW or Corvette?
Corvette!
I used to own a BMW. I hate them.
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sorry this is going to be long.. I need to add details in order to ask my question.
The other night I had my boyfriend over to my house to watch the CMA Awards and I told him ahead of time that we'd be watching it and that it lasts about 3 hours and he said it was fine. I also told him I had waited ALL year to see them because I'm THAT big of a country fan and he knows it. So we watch about 20 min. of it and he says "hey let's see if Texas Chainsaw Massacre is on, it's suppose to be tonight" so he changes it and we just HAVE to watch it.. I looked at him and said "well couldn't you rent it or borrow it from a friend sometime? I've been waiting for the CMA's all year and you can watch this any time." and he starts whining and begging to watch it so I finally just give in and ask if we can flip it back over after and he says yes so after the movie we flip it back and start watching it. About 10 min. later he gets all excited and says "OH MY GOSH SOUTH PARK IS ON!! WE HAVE TO WATCH IT!!!" he's obsessed with South Park so we flip it over and watch it. I wouldn't have been so upset if it were a new episode or something but it was RE RUN... so I said to him "Okay well can we atleast watch Keith Urban since this is a re run?" because Keith Urban is my favorite country singer and he says sure. Well my parents were in the other living room watching it on that TV and I hear Keith Urban start singing and I tell him to flip it and he says "But this is the BEST PART!!" and I tried to get up but he said he wanted me to watch it so I stayed. I started to complain about not being able to watch it and about that time South Park's over and Nip Tuck comes on.. so he's like okay well we can watch it after Nip Tuck.. and I said "Alright well then can we flip it over the the CMA's and watch Kerry Underwood sing?" and he said "Well alright if we have to watch it" but we never flipped the chanel.. and by the time we did it was already over. My parents said it was great and Keith Urban got ENTERTAINER OF THE YEAR.. and I missed it because my boyfriend just HAD to watch Texas Chainsaw Massacre, South Park, and Nip Tuck... so my question is.. Was I being too selfish by wanting to watch the CMA Awards instead of his favorite shows?
thanks in advance!
Honey, I think you know the answer to this one.
He is acting like a jerk.
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I have really wavy hair, and i straighten it everyday for school. does anyone have a straightener that would straighten my hair easily and not damage my hair
First of all -never- use Hot Tools.
The best iron in the business today is the Chi iron. It costs about $200 and everyone who has it is extremely satisfied with it. I'm saving up for one.
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so tonight i was at a big party type thing..and i notice this guy kind of looking at me from the corner of his eye and purposely turning it seemed to look at me. i picked it up that he was doing it..but i thought nothing of it until later..he started doing "laps" around me when i was talkng to my friends. he went from one part of the room where everyone was all the way to where i was with my friends *it wasnt nearly as crowded..* he did this a couple times! my friends thinks he likes me..when they told him to talk to me he said he was shy. where do i go from here? we dont really talk so help me out from the beginning pleaseee!! this is just new for me because usually the guy likes one of my friends..i happen to have very pretty friends..ok thanks to anyone who tries :)
First of all, when he was doing his "laps" and looking at you, it was actually an ancient old tradition called flirting. He was doing his primitive mating call for you. What you should have done was responded to that. Chances are that what you did instead was act really confused and flustered.
There is so much I can tell you about body language but in this situation, there were a few things you could have done:
a. Use the look-away-look technique. Glance at him for a second. Then look away. Glance back, this time for longer. Look away again. Glance back and count to five and then look away. Repeat this a few times. This shows him you're interested.
b. Play with your clothing and your hair.
c. Exaggerate your movements. Laugh louder. Smile bigger.
d. Keep looking at him.
e. Go read this: http://www.myjellybean.com/flirt/flirtbasic.html
Doing all this stuff will give you a 90% chance that he'll come over and start talking to you. If not, then you can go right over to him and start taking because by then, because he'll be sure that you're interested, his ego will boost and he'll be more willing to talk to you.
Good luck
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ok im an athlete so i have practice at night & get home around 9ish & i was wondering if it's totally disgusting to take a shower in the morning before school? im a girl, but like i have homework & stuff when i get home, & i juss go to bed, nothing else. if i take a shower at night, my hair gets weird & i don't think you should take a shower twice a day. any ideas??
thanks!!
Well, there are a few solutions to your problem:
A. You could do what you're doing and shower in the morning but you would need to change your sheets regularly.
B. You could come home and rinse off without washing your hair and then sleep and wake up in the morning and have a proper shower. I like this method because I find that if you rinse off in hot/warm water before going to bed, you'll get a better sleep.
C. You could take two proper showers but only shampoo your hair in the morning. Just remember to condition it at night if you're doing this.
Not taking showers -all- the time isn't disgusting. You're an athelete so you are expected to make adjustments to your daily living.
Good luck
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i don't really know what i'm asking specifically..i just need general advice. i just started dating my current boyfriend. it's been a little over two weeks. i'm just wondering..for all of you with boyfriends..how long did you wait before you kissed him and how long have you been together so far..and for those who don't..how long did you wait before you kissed your last boyfriend..and how long were you together? i just don't know how long i want to wait. don't tell me to wait until i'm ready or want to..because i am going to do that. its just my ex left me with some trust issues..though i do trust my boyfriend..and i don't want a redo of my last relationship..which was way too physical. so your input will just help me a ton.
thank you so much.
I would say that two weeks is long enough. Most people I know usually wait about a week and do it but I guess it depends on the age group. As a rough example (in my opinion), I think the following age groups should follow this:
11-12= One and a half months to One month
13-14= One month to Three weeks
15= Three to Two weeks
16= Two to One week
17= One week
18-up= Whenever you want
It just depend on your point of view. But that's mine.
The friends that I know have all started kissing in the first few weeks and have all had relationships for different periods of time, the longest being a year and a half and still going strong.
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this isn't really a big deal but im really nervous about it--
okay, so i go to a private school, and i have since 6th grade.(im in eighth now)And today we just got some serious news. Our school is also a church, and the church is moving to a different building next year. They pay for half of our school, and we're a poor school as it is, so we cant pay for it all on our own. So there's this school thats about 15 minutes away from my school, and its huge.Its really nice inside, and they have air conditioning (which we dont have) and its super nice there. But im so nervous because its a whole new school, new people, and im not so great at making friends. Im outgoing and hyper and stuff but my weakness is making friends, and im not really good friends with anyone in my class, so i really wanna make friends there. Im also scared that i'll get lost because its so big!please give me advice i rate all 5's!
Well then go ahead and be yourself. Be outgoing and friendly. Join some clubs and sports teams. Randomly say hi to other girls in the washrooms and start conversations. Talk to people who sit around you in class. Chat with some kids in the caf and ask them what's good on the food menu.
Just be careful when being hyper. Sometimes people think that aspect is annoying.
Also, dress to impress for (at least) the first few days. Take extra care with your clothes/hair/makeup but don't overdo it. Just try to make a good impression.
Good luck :)
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I'm 13, and there's this guy that I REALLY like. I told him, he doesn't like me back, but we're still friends. There's a dance in 3 hours, and I'm not sure whether I should ask him to slow dance. I mean, we slow danced last dance, and I'm afraid that I'll look like I'm desperately trying to "win" him when I'm not, especially considering the fact that he knows that I like him and that he does not like me back. Do you think I should, or would I just look like a loon? If not, could you give a good reason?
No. You won't look like a loon. You just want to dance with him. It's just a dance.
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O.k Well my best friend is a total whore... i mean like shes the type like if you have a dick .. shell suck it like after an hour of knowing you.. i confronted her about it like.. why have you changed so much (because she was never like this)The Other night i said some
things to her i maybe shouldnt have said..
but i meant them she told me i was never on her side, and i never helped her through anything meanwhile when she broke uph with her boyfriend i was there, through everything and when other people called her a whore i was there through it allll!!!
Well I Told Her i hoped she got pregnant and, shes a f****** whore, and a slut, and guys only want you for a#$ soo yea, i was pretty mean she was probably crying...
But today i was thinking am i just jealous of her. I mean shes a whore and she gets all the guys she wants, i always thought that if you havent done a lot of stuff with guys they'd want you more, am i wrong... AM I JEALOUS?
Well, no I don't think you're jealous. Hell, I'm mad at her for being so easy and I don't evem know her.
The way you handled it wasn't so great though. You should have explained it calmly but I guess you were justified anyway.
Forget about her for a bit until she comes around. She needs to realize that 14 is too young to go around having sex with anything that has a penis.
Also, are you still talking about Chelsea?
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Ok Well theres this Amazingly Gorgeous kid in my 6th period lunch named, Joe and hes soo amazing like i almost passed out the first day i saw him.. no jokee!! and belive me if i think a guy is hitt hes majorly hottt.. because i dont think many r hott.. but moving on...
My friend chelsea is obsessed over himm... and hes always looking over to me and my (girl) friends tables.. soo like yea i looked at him and he looked at me and it was almost like we had a staring contest (laugh out loud) and than his friend like tapped him on the shoulder soo he turned his head..
but my friend Chelsea totally thinks he stares at her all the time.. but hes nott.. and hes in 11th grade and were in 9th soo its like were 14 hes 17 but what ever (laugh Out Loud) we got one of our 11th grade friends to talk to him..For chelsea and the 11th grade friend who was a girl.. never told chelsea what he said but she told me..
She said Chelsea was gross and wear way to much make-up and he'd only go out with her for some "booty".
So Chelseas always tlaking about how hot he was.. yesterday she said she was in love.. i feel soo badd.. i wanna get her mind off this kid because hes not interested.. what do i sayy to her?
Honestly, don't say anything to her. Because even if you do, she'll think you're trying to alienate her and she'll be bitter with you even if it -is- the truth.
Some stuff she'll have to learn by herself and you can't make her see anything or you might loose her.
Also, older boys = definite caution notice. I'm not talking about all guys but I'm in the 12th Grade and guys prefer girls around their own age and if they're looking at girls -that- young, chances are that they can't get a girl their own age or they're after a booty call. Guys that old don't look for a serious relationship with a girl three years younger than her. When he goes off to college, he's not going to be waiting around for some chick who is still going to take two years to graduate.
Good luck.
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Alright here is the story. I broke up with my boyfriend about 3 days ago because it didn`t feel right and I kinda wanted to explore with other guys. The problem is I still like my now ex alot and I dont want him to get with another girl! I Don`t know if I should go back out with him or just explore or what to do at all! Any ideas?
I rate well
It's three days, it's not too late. If you want him back, go back!
I would say run over to him and apologize. Tell him that you made a big mistake and you were acting foolish because of all the crazy emotions you're going through. Basically, ask him if he'll take you back and grovel if you get pretty desperate.
Next time, think carefully before you break up with someone. And exploring is good but if everything is going fine with one guy, you shouldn't really throw it away just out of curiosity.
Good luck.
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OK, the story goes like this. I go out with my ex-girlfriend and she says she won't ever leave me, and BANG. A week later she leaves me(she's f/17). I tried to call her...a lot for two weeks. I then decide not to contact her anymore but it's been two months and i'm still not over her. Must i contact her or must i just accept that she will never come back?
Quite obviously, something went -really- wrong somewhere.
Well, you've tried your best to get in touch with her. Call her one more time to see if she's calmed down from whatever she was going through and see if she'll talk to you. Don't worry about looking desperate, she told you she wasn't ever going to leave you and then she up and leaves. For god's sake, you -deserve- to know what the hell happened.
If she doesn't want to respond. Just forget about it. The ball is in her court. It's a very sad situation but there isn't really anything you can do about it.
Best Wishes.
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I cheated on my ex-boyfriend while we were together. I realized I did not love him, and broke it off with him after that. Well, I still loved him very much and he loved me, so one day we decided to hang out as friends. Well, one thing led to another and we ended up having sex. Well, I realized how much of a mistake that was, so I stopped seeing him or talking to him completely.
Now I found out I am pregnant. I am 19 years old and he is 20. My ex-boyfriend is a really good person and I think he'd make a very good father. If our problems weren't enough, here is the biggest issue.
He is foreign. He is staying in the country on a student visa. He will have to leave in 6 months unless we get married. I desperately don't want him to leave. Not for me, but for our future child. The flight to his country and back to visit would be 1200 dollars per trip. Everyone is pressuring us to get married so he can fulfill his fatherly duties and our child could have both parents around. We've research all possible ways he could stay, and it basically comes down to him marrying me.
What should I do? I can't see myself being with this person forever, but I can't see my child only getting to see his father once a year or so. I am seriously thinking about marrying him until he becomes a citizen, and then divorcing. Ugh, it's so frustrating, I don't even want to think about it!!!
I think a wise decision would be to marry him. You don't have to make it a spiritual ceremony or anything. Go to a court, get "married", sign the official papers and then sponsor him. You don't even need to tell people you're "married" or live in the same house.
He can stay in the country and take part in your child's life and once he has his citizenship, you can dissolute the marriage and continue on with your mutual parenting relationship.
Before you do this, I think it's smart to discuss this with your ex and see if you're in the same boat. Hopefully, there aren't any loose threads hanging around, i.e. his feelings for you, the feelings of any of his potential girlfriends.
Good luck.
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Ok. I have this friend from Canada and I Imed her and her aunt 'supposeofly' said that she passed out and then about an hour later i got back online and she said she didnt know who I was. I think she is lying. How Can I tell???
That story isn't believable at all. She is lying.
I think you should IM her and dememnd to know the truth. Ask her if she is trying to create drama or is she doesn't want to be your friend anymore.
Excuse my french, but I don't think you need any of her bullshit.
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My very very good friends birthday is coming up. We just started being friends a month ago, when I met him & he's super cool. I've been thinking of getting him some presents, will you tell me if you think it's okay: Headphones [for his ipod because his are broken & they sound crappy] & the exorcist [original movie, he really wants to see it.] then i'm going to buy him a card & balloons, and also I wanted to make him a small cake. I'm really tight on money, so i was also wondering do you think he'd be okay w/ just me making him a cake and decorating it all pretty? instead of buying a cake? thanks so much.
Of course you should make him a cake! That is -so- much better than getting one from the bakery. It shows that you put more effort into him than just going out there and carelessly purchasing something.
Also, do you like this guy? Because this much attention points to a yes. If you don't, you should present it differently in case he gest the wrong idea.
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well i like this guy at my school. Last year he used to be soooooooooooo annoying but this year i think he's really cute! but i cant tell if he likes me!!! plz help!
here's some signs that he might like me...........................
1. he always talks to me
2.he asked me to sit on his lap (being me i said no)
3. really nice to me
4. he usually goes out of his way just to talk to me ( like one time he was late for class because he was talking to me)
-sammy
Yeah, that's pretty much a definite "likes you".
Next time he asks you to sit on his lap, maybe you should say yes.
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This may seem a bit random, but I'll ask anyway.
Last year, i transferred from my school to a new school in a new district. I have been going to my old school since elementary school [it has elementary, junior high, and high school]. I spent five years with the same people in my grade, so needless to say, changing schools would seem to be a big deal. But, being the person i am, I adapt easily and made friends. However, this group of friends I made, most of them are guys. Counting them, I would say there are 6 guys and at most two girls [not including me]. While it can be a bit awkward sometimes, it really is fun; we always hang out [even in the summer], watching movies and playing football while hanging out at each others' houses. But I still feel like I'm not "really in the group", because once in a while they make plans without telling me or try to hide it from me.
Getting to the point, my question is, how do I know if I'm really 'accepted' into the group or another question is, how do i become closer to my friends [especially the guys]? Next year, they'll be graduating [the guys are ALL seniors], the girls plus me, are juniors, so I want to be able get closer with them before they and we graduate. Giving me advice such as "talk to them more" or anything like that force me to whack you or give you a low rating.
thanks.
Well, first of all, find out who the dominant person in the group is. They are usually the ones who pretty much decide what your groups opinion is on something or what other groups you like/dislike.
If you want to be truly accepted, you need to be accepted by this Queen/King Bee. Spend some quality time with them or stay silent with them if you disagree with something they say. Be a little non-threating girl and just have a la-di-da-I-don't-care-about-anything-because-I'm-just-too-carefree. Ignore obvious jabs and just act laid back. This way, you're not just denying yourself your identity, you just aren't -as- concerned with it as you would normally be.
Next step, start planning stuff by yourself and inviting everyone to it (including the Bee). Be outgoing and conspicuous so that everytime they go somewhere without you, they'll miss you.
It's just a simple task of being remembered. Boys aren't the most intelligent human beings and the only time they'll remember you is if you have made an impact on them. They might make a passing comment about how you aren't there but they probably won't pick up their cells and call you.
It's weird that the girls don't notice you around though. Females are usually pretty protective of that. Take a look at who you have a problem with and play Miss Innocent for a bit.
I know moving is hard, and it sucks more when you think you've settled in and you come to the realization that maybe you haven't.
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13/f, so i went to my old schools dance and this guy named alex that i have known and been friends with for two years slow danced with me. He pulled me in realy close so were were like hugging and then he grabbed my but and also he tried to kiss me. Everyone says he likes me but when my friend and i asked him he said he dosnt like me. Do you think he likes me and also what should i do because i am majorly in love with him and never want to let him go but i think i just did. i am so mixed up please help
It seems like he likes you. If he didn't, he wouldn't be grabbing your butt and trying to kiss you would he?
A lot of guys would say they wouldn't like a girl because their ego is too big to admit it.
You should play it up a little and start hinting at him and see how he reacts.
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