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I'm 21 years old, have had my share of different types of relationships so I enjoy answering love life questions. Whether it's about getting closer emotionally or physically don't hesitate to ask, hopefully I'll be able to help. I also love the medical field and will be a registered nurse soon. If you have any questions regarding a recent medical diagnosis (don't ask for one please, not a doctor) I can help you better understand it and the treatment as well

advice

I gave everything for this guy and what does he do? He likes my best friend. In september, this guy started talking to me 24/7 about my bestie that he liked. I gave him advice about it. Slowly, me and this guy became really good friends. Then, I got a boyfriend. The guy told me that he liked me and we hung out one time in March. My boyfriend freaked out about me and the guy hanging out. =/ Anyways, when me and the guy hung out, he kissed me. I didnt know what to do because I was stunned. I broke up with my boyfriend because I decided it wasnt fair to him. At the end of March, the guy whom I became good friends with became my boyfriend. We get into fights but always make things better. I got really bored today and hacked his facebook account and went to his messages. He was talking to my bestie earlier today so I clicked on it and began to read. Well, lets just say I have been crying and hyperventalating for the last hour. =( He told me best friend that he never stopped liking her even though he is flupping dating me!!! AHH! I tried calling my bestfriend to talk to her about it but she wasnt home. I dont know what to do, this guy means the world to me! I love him so much and I never want to loose him! HELP!!

You love him so much that you hacked his profile and read his messages because you don't trust him? I don't know who told you what love is but they are idiots.
You dont love this boy, to love someone one of the first things you have to do is trust them completly.
My advice is to dump him and wait a couple of years when your mature enough to handle a real relationship, otherwise your just going to find your self alone and unhappy relationship after relationship, gl

I hear facebook is really fun and it is just amazing.

I was thinking about making one, but...
I have a problem.
Well, i'm in high school. I'm bullied and I don't have friends, really. I only have a few because most moved away or began to hate me.

I'm afraid they'll bring it up at school or my family might, too. Facebook is like what my whole school talks about.

I need advice fast. Should I create a Facebook?

With my experience Facebook is really for people who have a lot of friends and like to share what they're doing all the time (statuses). I'm not that kind of person but I made one because my ex wanted me to (while we were together). I have a few close friends and I don't do statuses so I really just use it to message some friends once or twice a day now. So if your like me I wouldn't recommend it. Since you don't have very many friends you can just add random people and talk to them, some people find that fun

I am female and 15 years old. I am a very serious dancer and am also a little upset about my body. I know dancers are supposed to be really skinny and i am not. I weigh 119 pounds and want to be 100 or less. I want to kind of become anorexic because it will help me loose weight and i think i will be much happier. I know that becoming anorexic can be dangerous but this is for my career. Do you think that this is a really bad idea?

No, I know it's a bad thing. Being anorexic is basically eating so little that your malnourished. This means the energy you need to I don't know dance won't be there anymore; youll be starving your muscles of the things they need as well as every part of your body. Children your age that become anorexic don't develop normally because your still growing and your body's still changing, so if you want to look like a 15 year old when your 20 that's what your setting yourself up for. Athletes that become anorexic are going to end up in the hospital real quick.
My advice is to not be so lazy; I don't blame you for not being able to see the right choice for you but I can blame you for being lazy, if you weren't maybe you would have found it on your own.
You care about your career right? Well Dont put your health at risk; lose weight the healthy way,go run, eat healthier, and workout. Being anorexic is for people that take the easy way out; people that probably wouldn't work hard enough to become great at anything (including dancing)

when he hugs me i have my hands around his neck, and his are by my waist, and today when we stopped hugging goodbye and he started taking his hands out of my sweater he grabbed my waist and like stepped back and then left. we're just friends so i thought hm, why would he grab my waist instead of just taking his hands out and walking away?
I jsut want opinions i guess:P
thanks!

You already know the answer to that, it's because he likes you. Just to make sure that he's not a weirdo look at the way he hugs other girls
If a girl put her hands around my neck id know she liked me so I'm sure he knows too, gl

okay. so i like this kid, and he's a junior in high school and i'm a sophomore. this kid has known i've liked him for 4 years now. but were complete opposites. BUT, we have lunch together and he looks at me all the time. and all his friends know that i like him, oh and btw he's a "tool" so you can just imagine the way he acts around his friends. so yeah. anyways in our school we do a "dancing" unit in gym. and we do couples dancing. and i decided to go dance in his gym class. and i had to dance with him 3 times. OMFG BEST DAY OF MY LIFE. and we looked at each other and of course it was well awkward. so while i was dancing with him all of his friends were giving him thumbs up and doing sexual faces and saying "get it" ya know that's what all the "tool" guys say. so do you think he likes me? even if we've never talked? but he known i've liked him for 4 straight years now?

It doesn't matter whether he likes you or not YOU need to ask him out already. It's been four years do you know how bad that is?
It's bad because you've wasted all the time waiting for him to ask you out and you've missed out on either being with him or with someone else. The worst part of it all is you don't know him well enough to even like him; so even if you start dating chances are your going to like him for the wrong reasons (he's a tool and you still like him, that's really stupid) or not like him at all.
My advice is to stop wasting your time. That means talk to him already and get to know him better or move on

I had a wonderful life till I moved south. Here i am a fish out of water. I made a mistake of buying a Sub shop and now have to work 14 hour days 7 days a week. I have no fun anymore - I am not proud of anything anymore. My son took his life late last year and I am taking his method to do to myself. I have been told the breathing nitrogen is painless and within 2 minutes you are gone. Is this in fact the most painless way to take?

Nobody's going to help you kill yourself, I'm surprises your question even made it through. 14 hour work days is enough for you to kill yourself? If that was normal a lot of people would be gone including myself. You need to work hard If you want to go places, unless everything you want is handed to you which I wouldn't want, id be a weak and not as capable as I am. I'm sorry that your son took his life but that doesn't mean you should do the same.
There's always a way to be happy and "have fun" you've just given up on that. Don't give up; look at the changes you need to make in life and do it; if you think there's nothing you can do your not thinking hard enough. I don't know you personally so this is something I cannot help you with

It's like, there's still a part of me that worries about what society thinks. I'm black and like how I look, and who I am, and like this white guy, but a part of me feels embarrassed by it, and idk why. I'm attracted to guys with similar interests (regardless of culture), who are attractive, so I've crushed on guys from all over. I see us as all humans, and support love (whether it's with another guy of my culture or out) in general, and aren't racist at all, so why do I feel this way?

I think this is something that prevents me from getting into relationships. I'm 17 and have never been with anyone, and I feel like I have issues letting people getting close to me, because I'm afraid of rejection (and afraid of someone else being racist, when it's not like i'm ugly or anything, tbh). So I kind of shut them off early, even if I had a great connection with them before. And then I also fear possibly getting into a relationship, like how society would view it, if it's "unconventional". and in general, just like the idea of being in a relationship and showing PDA freaks me out. But if I'm with someone I really like why should I care what society thinks? Why do I feel this way when I know it is irrational? I know better, and yet my heart is afraid.

This is just complicated, and frustrating, please help

A lot of people make decisions taking into account what others will think about them, so it's somewhat normal but it can keep you from being happy. Like in your situation you like a boy who has a different skin color; in my society nobody and I mean NOBODY cares about skin color except for maybe the older people who are a little prejudice about black people, and even then that population here is almost non existent. I've heard that up north ( I live on the boarder of Mexico in Texas) people can be really racist towards us (Hispanics) and black people so I guess it's different. Even then it wouldn't have stopped me from asking my ex to be my girlfriend (who was white) or in the future if I like a black girl it won't either. The things people say don't bother me; skin color is only one thing to say something about. I know you don't know this since you've never really been with someone but your family and friends are going to say something you don't like about the other person eventually. Even if he's black they're Going to pick out the things they dont like about him and it's going to annoy you
My advice is to not let color get in the way of you being happy and try to not let what other people say keep you from living your life the way you want to, it's only going to keep you from being happy and in this case you might miss out on someone special

I had a baby 6 months ago and two months after my son was born i noticed a huge lump in my stomach that moves all around sometimes near my ribs,belly button, even above and below my belly button. It gets hard and i usually feel it most when i lay down... I had a c section if that helps. Im scared of what it could be i dont have insurance or money right now to go to the doctors. If any one has had this problem that would be great help!! Thank You!!

A c section is a very invasive surgery so what your experiencings is most likely scar tissue, and not a herniation. The only thing that bothers me about your question is that you said it moves? That's something I haven't heard of.
I would look for a clinic around that doesn't change very much to see you (25 dollars or so without insurance). Not sure if planned parenthood does that sort of thing but they are very generous with their pricing so I would call and ask

what kind of birth contrl makes your boobs grow big??

I would say anything with progesterone or progestin. This hormone acts along with estrogen to increase breast size during puberty; but I'm not sure about the years after.. Afterwards other hormones act to increase breast size and change their shape by effecting the adipose tissue (fat) which is mainly what breasts are. So it all depends on the different hormones in the birth control. You need a prescription for birth control so this is a good question to ask your doctor

We as a couple got involved in hugging, kissing, later just tried to touch her vagina from over her clothes itself (Dress + Undergarments)also i was in my full clothing. It lasted for a minute or two not more then that and no actual physical contact. Also no precum or semen on hand, fingers. Can she still get pregnant? Please answer

Good question but the answer is no. You can do whatever you want as long as you don't get cum on the outter or obviously the inside her vagina. So touching without clothes on is fine and so is oral sex (that is if your both ready for it, don't rush into it). If you have anymore questions about this let me know

what would you do if you found out something awful? like something they did. & they were someone you really looked up to. i don't know how to react, because i don't think i can ever look at the person the same again.

to make matters worse, i cannot not even type out to you, you random strangers whom i'll never meet & who don't know me at all. isn't that awful?

i'm just so sad, and don't know how to even behave..

Everybody makes mistakes; if this person isn't proud of what they did then you need to get over it. We are human after all, anybody that is "perfect" isn't, they're just not open with people.
It's hard to say anything more because you didn't say what they did and who they are (age, sex, other stuff). Im sure I'm not the only one that's heard complelty horrible stuff in my life so you don't have to worry about it; we're here to help not judge

please read all and carefully, thankyou. my parents got divorced 2 years ago. im 14/f i have 4 other siblings. the problem is that when they got divorced my older sis took sides with my mom and my older bro took sides with my dad. My sister and brother were best friends, until this. Now my other older brother, me, and my younger brother are just hanging in the middle not taking sides. I go to therapy and it has been helping, but i have not been on any anti-depressants or anything not that i want to. My sister never really had a relationship with my dad to begin with so i don't mind her not talking to him. As for my older brother he won't talk to my mom (this is the brother who took sides with my dad) and they were very close also, and as i said he wont talk to my sister. it is all so complicated. my brother has been to therapy with me once. and he thinks it is horrible that i am in the middle and my little brother as well. he told me about 2 years ago, (my parents got divorced in 2010 but the fighting has been happening since 09) that i could come talk to him at any time about anything. he is 24. i know what i would say, i even wrote him a letter for my own purpose just to put it on paper what i would say. but the thing is i am a really tough girl, i speak my mind, but the last 3 years have made me feel like shit-lonely, depressed, angry, grief, etc. so i kind of held my feelings in. i feel like if i talked to him it would be best. because then he would see how much i've been hurting. i would just be telling him how i feel. not attacking him at all just how it's affecting me. i really dont think he would get defensive, i think he would be somewhat surprised that im this sad. and he would say im sorry, i know its bad, but i don't think anythig will change. So now that this has all happened it has turned me into an insecure person. So my therapist said, just tell him, i think he will understand, and even if nothing changes between him and your sister or your mom at least he knows how you really feel. and i said i know but i feel like if he reacted like wow omg im so sorry and changed i would feel great. but even if he said i know im sorry but i don't see things changing i would feel even more insecure and helpless because he doesn't know this insecure, vulnerable side of me and i just revealed it and then i would feel so stupid. i dont know anymore. i feel like im going to burst. it's like im non-stop pmsing for 3 years straight. i get mad at people for no reason, i get bursts of loneliness, i feel like a sad clown. total opposite person before this. everyone has seen a change in me.i've lost friendships, i dont even hang out with friends becasue this is on my mind all the time, i gain weight, lose weight, there was even a point when i was losing a lot of hair. i would have panic attacks at the most random times just from seeing a happy family. other things happened that i wont say but it was bad. right now compared to a year ago im much better but still dealing with what i just said. also now that the've gotten divorced my dad will ask what time to pick me up i say 2 pm or whatever then i tell my mom and she gets mad at me because he is supposed to be talking to her directly. and i agree and my therapist too so i tell him that and he says no im not doing it, i dont want to have any contact with her. so im the one getting involved. they get mad at me if something happened between them. my mom says don't get involved but she tells me things about the divorce, court, and even showed me hurtful texts my brother texted her. there was a point last year when i got so frustrated with them both that i put all the blame on my dad when it was both their faults and just said in a very mean hurtful attacking email i dont want to see you anymore, because he was the easiest person to put the blame on. and i ended up talking to him again 6 monthes later and now we are "fine" seeing each other once a week, sun. we have not discussed that email because it is so ugly to me i dont even want to bring it up, i regret sending it. i need to talk to brother, but their are so many emotions running through me. one other BIG thing that came up was that my great uncle just died and i dont even know if my brother knows about it. i had never met him nor my other siblings too, but it was very sad becasue now his sister, my grandma, is the last one alive out of their family, she is 85 so is my grandpa. and my brother hasnt seen them in 3 years. but my grandpa called him up and said he wants to see him, but my brother said i can't it would be too difficult, he is just as hurt as i am. SOOOOO, becasue my grandparents are so old, the fact the my grandma's brother died just brought back feelings and made me sad because i thought what if god forbid one of my grandarents died and my brother never talked to them he would feel guilty, and would make me feel guilty for not talking to him earlier about how i feel. my therapist agreed. that just added 10 more tons on my back. can someone please tell me what i should do, and how i should go about it. i, when having a confrontation, or having a serious converstion, like to talk in person, but i live in NJ and he lives across the country. the only time i will get to see him is the summer/spring. if i decide to talk to him i want to do it soon before we go on vacation. so i was thinking, even my therapist said that if i bring it up that oh did you know our great uncle died? oh really? then i could go into about how i feel about him and my grandparents and that guilt that i just talked about. then slowly about him and my sister and my mom. im just nervous, but therapist is convinced that i should. i know i need to. i think im just scared, and i dont want to admit it to him. this whole thing has affected my friendships, family, school, social life, soccer. everything and it sucks. any advice is helpful. thankyou and thankyou for reading this whole thing. i know it seem confusing for you, which it probablly is, but for me, it's 10x worse. thankyou!

My advice is to say what your feeling to those that make you feel that way. Your mom with her telling you all those things that you don't need to hear, Sadly it's bad parenting (I don't mean she's a bad person she just doesn't know how it affects you); so you need to tell her that your her and your fathers child and you don't need to know those things, that no matter what your still going to love them both so what she tells you only hurts you. You may feel otherwise (want to blame someone) but that is only going to make things worse in the long run, make things worse for everyone including yourself.
Yes you were wrong for sending your dad that email so apologize to him and TELL him how stressed and terrible you feel about everything; it would kill me inside if my child felt the way you do and kept to herself about it, I would do everything and anything to make her feel better so I'm sure he feels the same.
The answer to everything is to get all that you've kept inside out (and not just to your brother); do this the best way you can. By that I mean try to not be hurtful in the process and describe your feelings the best way you can, even If that mean you have to write it down on paper.
I know your a strong person but a 14 year old needs to be out having fun with her friends, learning new things, and just enjoying being a kid; thats were your at in life, you haven't lived long enough to be able to handle this kind of thing on your own so I'm glad you asked this question so those of us who have can help you, well at least I really hoped this helped.

My fitness teacher has a Crush on me but I. Don't have a crush on him and if I tell him he will hate me it already happend when I told someone but he knows I have a boyfriend but still likes me and he understood I wanted him too add me on Facebook but I didnt it will be soooo invarrising if I go to my fittness class +he gets to touch my body becuse he corrects me

It's not as difficult as you think it is. Tell him that you have a boyfriend and aren't interested; if he's going to be childish about it then find another instructor, maybe a girl this time? I know a lot of girls would feel the way you do about this (uneasy, awkward) and that's because you don't want to upset anyone, and you don't want to lose a friend. But if he's going to be upset that you won't leave your boyfriend for him he's a moron and not a friend worth having; so don't feel bad about what you have to do

im no treall sure if you are supposed to shave or trim your pubic hair. my sister asked me one day and i didnt know whT TO TELL HER. any advice??

Shave it. Hair down there is gross to every guy that I know (including me)

Hello i had sex with my boyfriend like 2 weeks ago
And I have not gotten my period we use 2 condoms but they did not break
Or rip or anything he did not get any of his sperm on me because it did not come out
And I had to jack him off to do that to come out and I have not gotten my period plZ help

Just because you missed your period doesn' mean your pregnant. Go to a Walmart and get a pregnancy test so you can prove it to yourself

13/f
ok so my dad hacked my Fb account & saw a message of me asking a boy for some weed. but i don't use it i was just asking for another friend.
but he doesnt believe me & i dont really care but i regret asking that boy for it cause i wasnt gonna buy some i was just curious & my friend also wanted me to found out if he still sells it.
but IM CLEAN. so monday im supposely getting a urine test thingy. idk. so what should i do to convince my dad i wasnt gonna do it, or buy it. i was just curious.
P.S he doesnt believe me cause i get in trouble A LOT at school (not paying attention, yelling at my teacher, cutting myself.) & he doesnt believe me but i stopped. & i never took the weed or anything. Ughh. ohh well what are the consquences for this?

There's no quick fix for this. Your very untrustworthy so of course your dads not going to believe you (not saying it was right of him to hack your account though). What you need to do is drop the bull shit you've been doing; getting mad at teachers, the self harming. All that crap is only going to bite you in the ass later; there's plenty of ppl that can talk to you about that from experience (I'm not one of them but I've met enough).
Consequences is that you have a family that should be supporting and encouraging you but you don't give them anything that's worth it. Talk to your dad and tell him that your sorry for what you did and it will never happen again, and that you will still get drug tested for him. It will help start building up that trust again, it's only one step though, it looks like there's plenty more to go and it's up to you to do it

thank you. that's true, but something just tells me to let go. its 3:05 am. i called his brother private because they are in the same party, the only thing you can hear my boyfriend in the background singing and screaming. I know for a fact that if a girl goes dancing to him hes not going to stay like that. what bothers me the most is that his friends they bring their girlfriend to the party, but my boyfriend doesn't. If he wanted me to go he would have invited me. i wouldn't have to let him know.

Guess I miss read your question.
Your in a relationship with someone you don't trust so you want to be at the party to make sure he doesnt do something wrong.
Being in a relationship without someone you don't FULLY trust isn't good for either of you. Your not going to be happy and your not going to grow closer together. It's like a wall And on the other side is a happier, more healthy relationship, but it's something I'm thinking you won't get with this guy.
Before you said yes (to being his girlfriend) you should already have trusted him. Because being in a relationship is not only being committed to one another but being open and honest as well.
. Wanting to be at a party to baby sit him
. Calling is brothers phone on private
That's not what a girlfriend needs to be doing; that's what a mom does when she suspects her kid is on drugs or something ( not TRUSTING his judgement).
What you have in front of you are three choices. You can work on your relationship with this guy and Try and get over that wall, you don't and spend more nights calling his brother on private (having a very unhealthy relationship), or you dump him

I was just wondering how late 19+ kids get to stay out.

Because my mom is trying to enforce a curfew on me. I'm 19 years old, and I really don't go out too much, i don't drink or do drugs, but i like to go to parties and hang out. is that so bad?

is it wrong that i don't think i should have a curfew? its not like i'm staying out till 4 in the morning. its like 230 tops.. & my mom freaks out and won't talk to me.

maybe i'm being ridiculous, but it's pretty embarrassing when you have to leave a party at 1.. when people are just getting there.

Age has nothing to do with it, responsibilities do.
I'm 19 but I have so many responsibilities that my parents know things will be hell if they try and treat me like a child (curfews, rules). I've proven that I don't need such things because like you I don't drink, do drugs, and I handle everything I'm doing very well (I don't need my parents to guide me anymore). I respect them and am appreciative of the help they give me but they also respect me; knowing that the reason why I need there help is because I'm a full time college student ( who doesn't receive a penny in financial aid) so its not possible for me to be on my own unless I drop out (even though I work every single day).
If your in my same situation then you need to get that respect, if you don't your going to keep everything bottled inside until you resent them.
If your not in my same situation. Think that just cuz your 19 and a college student you think you should have the freedom to do whatever you want even though your parents are working for it you need to grow up and act your age

Sometimes I go out with my friends and seem to catch him in there. today we were just having a conversation and he didn't even ask me oh you want to stay with me home and watch a movie. he just left to the party with his friends. I just feel a little embarrass because since a lot of people know we are going out, they are probably going to wonder "oh where is hes girl, I wonder why hes never with her" do you get what am saying. sometimes i feel as if i didn't have a boyfriend. I just don't know what to do. and i don't even know what he does at those party's. what do you suggest i should do ? :'(

Communication
Your boyfriend doesnt know how you feel so you need to tell him. I understand why you wouldn't want to, you don't want to seem needy or annoy him but if he cares about you he'll hear you out and make an effort to make you feel less left out.
So I suggest the next time you talk to him on the phone or in person tell him there's something that's been bothering you and if you could talk to him about it (do not text about this, it's easy to take something differently in a text message, talking is more clear).
Other than that just work on your communication. Us guys aren't very good on picking up on stuff like girls are, this doesn't mean that we don't care, just means that sometimes we need to be told; what happens after that shows whether we care or not

Hi. I'm 14/f and my boyfriend an I have been talking about having sex. He really wants to and was respectful enough to just ask instead of trying to pull my pants off, unlike my ex's and I've told him that I don't want to and he knows how I feel about the whole thing so he hasn't asked that question exactly, but he has hinted a couple times and got the same answer and then yesterday he brought up the topic of masturbating and right away this came to my head;

If I don't have sex with him but still satisfy him somehow (by masturbating for him & letting him watch and masturbate if he wants to) then is that wrong? Of course I don't want to tease him by telling him that I have this idea and then not do it so my question is;

Is this wrong? I'm 14/f, virgin and I want to stay virgin until my wedding, by the way

Thank you for all answers!

Yes it's wrong, but not because of your age. By 14 most boys and girls dont know what they're ok with (sexually) so they end up regretting what they did as teenagers. It's obvious that you don't know what you want out of it; you say you want to wait till marriage but you dont know why that is, your not confident that it's what you will do (not should do).
You need more time to think about this; so try this. Clear your mind of everything that you've been told your whole life about sex. Your parents, friends, family, church, class mates. All of they're opinions do not effect your thinking right now. And now that your blank think what will make YOU happy.
This is something that can't be answered in one sitting; think it over for a while.
Im Gunna tell you how I came across my answer (short version), hoping that it'll help.
My family is catholic so my parents waited till they were married, I wanted the same thing as a young teenager but after thinking about it for some time and being in a relationship I learned something I did not know back then. Sex was being taught as something BAD (unless it was done after marriage). It was very narrow minded to me and I'm as open minded as it gets, so for that and many other reasons I split away from the church. I found someone about a year later and after sometime of being together I knew I wanted to have sex. It wasn't for my own selfish reasons (to feel good), it was because I felt sex would satisfy my need to be as close as I could to her and I was right. It wasn't bad, it was perfect and we had a great relationship. Even though it ended I don't regret it at all; that's because I waited for Someone I loved.
I hope it helped but if it doesn't what I'm trying to say is make sure it feels right; that you think about it and don't do it if your so confused. Because I'f your confused then you'll most likely end up regretting it

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