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PARENTS: how late do you allow your 19+ year old child stay out?
I was just wondering how late 19+ kids get to stay out.
Because my mom is trying to enforce a curfew on me. I'm 19 years old, and I really don't go out too much, i don't drink or do drugs, but i like to go to parties and hang out. is that so bad?
is it wrong that i don't think i should have a curfew? its not like i'm staying out till 4 in the morning. its like 230 tops.. & my mom freaks out and won't talk to me.
maybe i'm being ridiculous, but it's pretty embarrassing when you have to leave a party at 1.. when people are just getting there.
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I am 20 and I have a curfew of half ten. Its simple I miss it and I don't get let in as I have no key (another story) part of it is my house my rules, another is that we don't live in a great area and I have already been in a spot of bother in the past. Its parent's way of saying they care.
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You are legally an adult no longer subject to parental authority. BUT, that word always comes in; but you do live in moms' house and as the saying goes,"if you live in her house you live by her rules."
Then there is the word respect. If mom is waiting up for you then it would be respectful of you to try and end your evening early enough so as she is not waiting up late into the morning hours. I understand you text and let her know you are okay. Until you walk through the door she is going to worry.
How she will handle this when you move out, go off to college or marry is something you need to be concerned with and deal with now as you don't want to be calling her each evening for the rest of your life either.
I do not think the curfew is punitive; I believe it is for her own peace of mind. Once you are home safe she then can go to bed. That is the part that really worries me for as I said what will she do when you move out. If I am right and she is overly concerned for your safety and can not rest until your home. Then this is something that needs to be addressed with a qualified therapist.
I do not think mom will admit to her staying up to see you home safely before she can rest. Instead she will most likely say something to the effect she can not see anything good that can happen at that hour of the morning and you should be home in bed getting your rest. That's mom talk, or an excuse for what is her real problem. It needs to be addressed or you will always have an issue even after you leave the nest.
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Age has nothing to do with it, responsibilities do.
I'm 19 but I have so many responsibilities that my parents know things will be hell if they try and treat me like a child (curfews, rules). I've proven that I don't need such things because like you I don't drink, do drugs, and I handle everything I'm doing very well (I don't need my parents to guide me anymore). I respect them and am appreciative of the help they give me but they also respect me; knowing that the reason why I need there help is because I'm a full time college student ( who doesn't receive a penny in financial aid) so its not possible for me to be on my own unless I drop out (even though I work every single day).
If your in my same situation then you need to get that respect, if you don't your going to keep everything bottled inside until you resent them.
If your not in my same situation. Think that just cuz your 19 and a college student you think you should have the freedom to do whatever you want even though your parents are working for it you need to grow up and act your age
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