about

I'm 21 years old, have had my share of different types of relationships so I enjoy answering love life questions. Whether it's about getting closer emotionally or physically don't hesitate to ask, hopefully I'll be able to help. I also love the medical field and will be a registered nurse soon. If you have any questions regarding a recent medical diagnosis (don't ask for one please, not a doctor) I can help you better understand it and the treatment as well

advice

Dear Vikki

I'm 24 and from South Africa. I have been in a relationship for almost 7 months now and before that we were only friends. I love him a lot and care about him a lot, but at times I feel that my insecurities gets in the way and it ends up in us having an argument about something small and stupid. See we have a long distance relationship at the moment and it is mostly when he cannot have decent conversation at night because his busy and then I start thinking "maybe he doesn't want to talk to me" , "maybe he doesn't find me interesting anymore and he will leave me for someone else" and I do know that he cares for me a lot and that he loves me and as soon as I think I have these feelings under control, it creeps in again. I don't want to lose him, because I was insecure and clingy. I never was like this in the beginning. I was cheated on before and most of the times it is when I'm away from him, when we are together, I don't have it and because of this it makes things hard for me. I care about people real fast and they can actually hurt me with words. How do I get past this? How can I get past my insecurities and not be clingy when I feel like these emotions are creeping in? I'm not jealous when it comes to being his girlfriends, because I know what type of guy he is. I know he will never cheat on me, but because I don't always see myself as beautiful, I'm sometimes afraid he will leave me for someone more beautiful than me. The guy that cheated on me used to say to me, that I shouldn't think that someone can love me, because there feelings will change. I was so deeply hurt.

Is there any advice you can give me? Guess I'm just looking for someone to talk to that I don't know personally!

Thanks!

Insecurities stem from low self esteem, low self esteem comes from not thinking of yourself worthy or good. Get a piece and paper and a pen and start writing down things about yourself that you don't like. This is my list:
. I don't look as good as I want to
. I'm not as smart as I can be
. I haven't been being a great boyfriend
As you can tell I have very good self esteem, not because the size of the list but how I word them. I work out 5 times a week for the past 5 years to be stronger and get the body I want, I study a minimum of 3 hours a day to become the very knowledgable health care professional I soon will be, I try and do little things for my gf even though my days have been busy for a good while now.
Once you have your list written out work on those things to become better and feel better about yourself. Everything can use improvement, strive for great not just good enough.
Once you've improved yourself you'll start to think differently about the relationships your in. Gl

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I am so confused. I dont know what to do anymore. I am depressed all the time. To the point where all I want to do is cry and at times it takes all I have not to. I feel so alone. I have been married for 8 years but we never talk and lately he and I have been sleeping in separate rooms. We dont even argue we just dont talk. I know I am not happy anymore and I havent been for a long time. But we have children together and this is the only serious relationship I have ever had. To top it all he is controlling so I have never had a job and I dont know if I can support myself or my kids without him. I dont want to be miserable forever but I am terrified of life without him. I dont know how to survive without him. And I have absolutly no friends not a single one because my high school friends and I have drifted apart and I am not allowed out to have any. And I have no family I grew up in foster homes. So without him I am completely alone. I have no one to turn to. No one to stay with til I get on my feet. Am I being selfish by wanting a life of my own. What do I do? Where do I go from here?

Life is too short to be unhappy. It's up to you if you want to leave even though you have kids together. I'm sure it was hard growing up without parents, but it's also going to be very hard on your kids if their parents don't stay together.
Marriage is a partnership; no one person should have complete control, that is why it's not working out for you to. If getting a job is what you really want to do then tell your husband that your going to get a job, that it's important to you to be capable of proving for yourself and the kids. Stick to your decision and tell him what's on your mind. You don't wanna live in a loveless marriage and want to try to make things work. Not all men are mature enough to handle being told no but it needs to be done.
Be confident not aggressive; get what you need to be happy, as long as it's nothing unreasonable your husband should support you
Reasonable: having a job, having friends, having fun, having your own life.
In my opinion they are all neccisary but not everyone shares my values
Nobody finds happiness easily; good luck

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So I am only 17 and was was dating this girl who happened to be christian for two months until she broke up with me. The reason we broke up was because I am agnostic and she couldn't take it anymore, even though I told her I was in the first place. In this relationship she never gave me a blowjob but only handies but she said no sex and no bj's while we were dating and I was totally cool with that untill... when she broke up with me she almost immediately had a thing with another her guy and she sucked his dick after she was supposedly against it. She came back to me a 2 weeks or so after she gave the other guy head and she told me everything that happened and was extremely sorry and I took her back. She said if she could go back in time she would definately change what happened. She told me she now did blowjobs and here we are five months later and I haven't even gotten a handjob, I only finger her which ive done about 10 times since we've been together again. So my question is should I talk to her about giving me head or just anything sexual? Or am I just way overreacting and I should leave this whole thing alone. She's really in love with me now and I almost broke up with her about a month ago because of what happened right after our breakup. One thing about this girl is that she has been fingered and gave hand jobs to plenty of men in her past and it just bothers me that I never get anything in return.

Break up with her
I'm telling you from experience your wasting your time with her and your gunna regret it. Your 17! Nobody should be holding you down, especially not some idiot that calls herself religious and blows some guy she's not even with. She's one of those girls in high school that's just a waste of time. Break up, date someone else who isn't fake, you won't regret it

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Once I have anal sex and it didn't slipper to my vagina, am I still a virgin? (Stressed)

Depends on what you think being a virgin is. Some girls think oral and anal don't count, which I think is pretty stupid because it's called oral "sex" and anal "sex", once you've had sex your not longer a virgin right? Well like a said it depends on the person. If you belong to a religion chances are your no longer considered a virgin either. You shouldn't be stressed because it doesn't really matter, nobody cares if you've had any kind of sex before, at least anyone that's mature

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I'm 23 he's 22. We got into a fight because he sent me a text that obviously wasn't for me. When I said something he told me I was stupider than shit and always acting like a bitch. He doesn't respect me so I just blocked him and said bye. Well he tried calling about 50 times afterwards but I ignored it because I refused to be disrespected. Well I didn't talk to him for 4 days and then when I was calm I unblocked him and decided to try to talk about things. Well in these 4 days he moved on apparently and wouldn't have anything to do with me. He blamed me for everything and kept saying it was my fault for acting that way and it's my fault that he is talking to someone else. Really? It took him 4 days to move on from our 2 year relationship? I begged him to stay but he didn't care. I'm so depressed he's done this before I just never thought he would do it again. Do I move on? Or just wait for him to realize that were suppose to be together? Or does that make me pathetic?

Doesn\'t sound at all like a healthy relationship, or one that will make you or him happy. I say you take it as a learning experience like you should all failed relationships and move on. In the next one you won\'t make the same mistakes and in the mean time you need to think about what you need your next boyfriend to have to make you happy. Some people will call it being picky but at your age you don\'t have anything to worry about. For example: my girl has to be smart because I don\'t want to be annoyed by my own girlfriend ( stupid people annoy me), has to be fit and go to the gym consistently; I don\'t want someone that\'s going to get less and less attractive, make sense? The list goes on and thankfully I\'ve met someone who I\'ve been with for 2 years and will be purposing to.
My point is don\'t set yourself up for failure and date someone that doesn\'t have the qualities you need; make a reasonable list (not someone that is better than you yourself are) and stick too it, you won\'t regret it

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Hey guys. 19/f
Okay so the title is self explanatory. Tonight we were all out for one of my girl friends birthdays.
I have recently started college in September and made a bunch of new friends. One such friend is *Kevin who is gay and who I have become very close with.
Anyway we were all messing about and having a good time getting a bit tipsy etc. Then one of the girls and Kevin kissed joking around. We all said we would kiss him then just for fun because we know he is gay. I joined in not thinking anything of it at the time. The thing is I have a boyfriend!.. I know. I feel like an absolute skank. It was our three year anniversary last weekend and everything. I feel so horrible. All of my friends were trying to reassure me that because he is gay and because we are such good friends it doesn't mean anything and it's not a big deal. It would be like if I kissed one of them..etc. But for me it is a big deal. I've never kissed anyone else in the whole time i've been with my boyfriend. I feel like i've let myself down and him down. What do I do? Do I tell him about this? My friends say I shouldn't because Im causing him unnecessary hurt. I don't want to make excuses for myself or anything but I was having such a good time I completely lost my mind. That's NEVER happened to me. No matter how many guys have hit on me I've never entertained it. Am I over thinking this? Am I being too hard on myself? What would you do? Should I tell him or leave it be? I know he'd be very weird about it. Please help.

It's pretty simple; put yourself in his shoes, would you want him to tell you? I think the answer is yes; you really messed up and if your not honest with him your changing your relationship from something based on love and trust to secrets and lies.
If he takes it well I suggest you get rid of your bad habit, it will only cause problems for your relationship.
Gl

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My name is Chris. I've loved this girl since last year from the very moment we kissed. Something about that kiss really made me attracted to her and want to pursue a relationship. I love her personality, we really get along well. We ended badly in the summer. She hurt me by ignoring me and as a defense I said some pretty hurtful things. We didnt talk all summer but we ended up in the same highschool class. At first we didnt talk but I would catch her staring at me and I determined she still had feelings for me, as I did for her. My bestfriend got us talking again and ever since, things have been even better than last year. I played my card out right with this girl because I felt i got a second chance at her heart, and i dont want to mess it up. We do not go out (yet). I dont want to get back with her yet, I want to wait. She sits next to me in class and he just cuddle or hold hands or she lets me stroke her stomach or thighs sometimes. We show each other HUGE amounts of affection but in a very subtle way. She is jealous because she found out a girl in my class also likes me, and she feels intimidated, in a way. But recently she has been flirting with another guy in front of me, calling him her boyfriend...she starts having an attitude when i touch her leg or even ask her a simple question. I realized that this new dude she seems to show interest to STARES at me. He does things, like kisses her cheek, and then looks directly at me as if TRYING to get me jealous, and as a scorpio, i am VERY jealous and this kind of stuff makes me go crazy. She knows she is driving me insane, I told her that I didn't mind if she spoke to a billion people (she's not mine and theres nothing I can do) but i just dont want it done AROUND me. We agreed on that but the next day she did it again. And she also seems to have a worse and worse attitude. I know she doesnt seem to great of a person, but she truely is and that is why I'm trying to find out how to handle this. I love this girl a lot. But i can't tell if she's trying to get me jealous or not. The guy she flirts with has a girlfriend. So I dont know exactly what the hells going on here...but I dont like it. When I started flirting with the girl that likes ME she over heard and told me she resents me. I smiled because I was hoping to get her jealous too, a taste of her own medicine, you know? She told me that "im literally crazy because she likes to flirt a lot" and i know she's the shy type. I felt like that was a rehearsed answer ..i feel like she planned all of this out. But how can I throw her off? If i seem unbothered, i feel like she'll just continue. When I do seem upset, she seems happy. Jealousy shows a person cares about you, but she's being immature by extending it for the past few days. She hasn't even texted me, I feel it's best to pay her no mind, but I'm obsessive. I'm going to WANT to talk to her so bad when I see her, we're complete. Should I flirt with other people to get her mad? Will that make it worse? Should I ignore her? Should I just be very serious with her and give her no reason? My goal is to make her regret what she's doing .

I'm just going to say it; there is no hope for your relationship. Both of you are way too immature to handle one, you'll just end up ruining it.... Again if you can't grow up! I guess it's normal for kids in high school to do that kind of crap but that's also why those kids have a new bf/gf every month.
So here it is; if you want things to work out with this girl you need to come out and say that you want to be with her and your TIRED of all these games you keep playing. If she says yes then act like adults and stop flirting with anyone, it's not cool, wont help your relationship and pretty pathetic.
If she says no then MOVE ON; if she's not willing to grow up there's no way it's going to work and your just going to end up wasting your time TRUST ME, I'm saying this out of experience.

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17/m

My girlfriend and I have been going out for about 7 months now. She is 16. The last couple of days I feel like I am not interested in her anymore. I am not sure if it is some sort of "hump" I am going through. Sometimes I feel like i see her too much, we have been hanging out a lot as of late. Sometimes things she does makes me feel annoyed or bugs me. Things that use to never do that to me. She has put me through a lot this past summer and that is when my feelings seemed to have changed some what, i kind of got "numb" to her but when she got back from her vacation (which is when she treated me terribly and stuff) i regained some of my feelings, she lied to me though about some stuff and hid things. I forgave her and stuff. This past week or two some days I wish i wasn't with her.

I thought I loved her, lately i'm not sure. I don't get the same feeling of happiness when she calls or texts me or anything like I use to. Maybe that just goes away after some time? I question if I want to be with her but I don't know how to even bring that up with her cause it would crush her. She has lost a lot of friends and I am almost all she has. I don't know what to do. Sorry if this is confusing just trying to keep it short :p

Thank you for your help

I understand, your falling out of love with her. Just because you forgive someone doesn't mean that all that person did goes away, you just accept it. I've gone through the same thing; I tried really hard to get those feelings back and make things work but I couldn't. Eventually I told her what was happening and as you put it "it crushed her". I'm sure you've heard it before "sometimes the right thing to do is the hard thing to do", and in this case it is.
I don't regret doing it at all because if I hadn't I would still be in that loveless relationship instead of with my soul mate :)

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I hooked up with a guy a like a month ago and we haven't talked since. NOTHING went wrong at all we just haven't talked.
I want to text him but I don't know what to say!
Should I be mean like Why haven't you called??
Or be nice?? Or not say anything...

Depends what your looking for
1. You wanna hook up again.
Ask him if he wants to do something (at night)
2. Your interested.
Not gunna happen, he's already had you so you have about a 1% chance. If he was interested he would've waited a day or 2 to call you.... Not a month.
3. Just a friend.
Then don't annoy him with "why haven't you called"; he won't talk to you very often if you do. Act normal; ask him "what's new" or "how've you been"

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Im 19 and my boyfriend is turning 20 soon.. And He's been treating me like SHIT..,:( what kind of boyfriend would lock a girl up in his car without air? He didnt even bother to open the window who would do that?!! He never heared any complains about how he treats me. I tried to confront him but he never listen he only thinks what he feel.:(( the most painful part is he told me he never care what i feel., and he doesnt need me.,:( it hurts me so bad :,( i told him if am i ugly or not pretty enough? I did mu best to e his best gf :,( i never talked looked at other guys., i never told him
How im in pain right now :,((

Your boyfriend doesn't control your life and can't make you stay and put up with his crap, that would be you. It's very simple; you want to be happy? Break up with him and find someone that actually cares about you; I can tell you from experience that's what you need to do. I'm sure you care about him but you'll find out the hard way that it's not going to work out if you continue like this, Gl

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I'm sorry this is so long, but I want to give you all the full story! THank you so much for reading!


I recently started dating this really wonderful guy named Tim who is the sweetest, nicest person to me and I am extremely grateful that I met him. I've never had a boy treat me the way he does.

That being said, when I was in high school, I dated a boy I liked for about 3 months. I had gone through 4 relationships (this one being my second) in my high school career, and I can basically boil them down to petty, short high school relationships that were fun while they lasted. However, this one that I dated, we'll call him Carl, was someone that I just became so connected to. I liked everything about him and he and I were into the same things and got along so well. Then, he broke up with me because he didn't have enough time to be in a relationship. I know that when we ended things, he still liked me and I still liked him. 4 years later, and I still miss him from time to time. We remain good friends and catch up every once in while. We even live in the same area now but he has stopped getting in contact with me. I found out through a mutual friend that he has a new girlfriend and that is probably why he stopped speaking to me.

I still miss Carl a lot but I don't know if it's that "you'll never forget your first love" kinda thing or I'm ignoring something bigger.

I hate that I miss someone who has been so rude to me, while Tim, who I can tell cares for me so much is right here. I feel like I am being unfaithful to Tim for thinking like this.

Please, anyone with advice help me figure out what's going on!! Thank you guys so much :)

Carl didn't dump you because he didn't have time for a relationship; he just didn't tell you the real reason. The reason you still think about him is because you wonder how things would have gone if he "had time". The answer is they wouldn't have
There's no such thing as not having time for a relationship; it's just another way of saying you don't mean enough to me to spend time with. I've been in 2 different relationships while being a full time college student who works every day and does at least 2 other things on a daily basis; I made time for them.
Focus on your relationship now with Tim. Find out if he's someone you see yourself with for a long time and if he's not then end it because youll just be wasting both of your times

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female 22 years old.

Ok to start I have been in an almost 5 year relationship with "B" & totally happy.

So my issue is back as early as middle school so like 12 or 13..I have liked "M" Sounds crazy, but just hear me out. It had been like a going back in fourth flirting type of thing between M and I for years, up until like the past 2 years not so much. Always flirting(nothing came of it) When B and I first got together, M & I started talking via text messages, on facebook, and on the phone..& we hung out like once. Mind you B & M are FRIENDS(have been since very small) (we all went to school together our entire lives) Anyhow nothing came of that either and I ended up telling M that we couldn't talk anymore that I was with B blah blah blah. And we have all kind of remained friends... WELL for the passed say 6 months M has been staying with B & I (also M now has a son and is in a relationship with the baby's mother still.)

So now to my issue...M & I have always had like this weird connection like we would kind of obviously flirt in front of people including B and I honestly LOVED it. I feel weird even typing this I sound sleezy! blah but like I have said NOTHING has come of it not as much as a kiss! That flirtiness has gone away between us, but I STILL have this strange attraction toward M. Its rather odd. I don't know if it because I WANT what I CANT have...? Or if it is this long built up years of "lust" between us..? I DON'T want a relationship with him(odd I know) I just don't know what it is or if he feels any strangeness between us.

I don't want to loose my boyfriend. I honestly could see us being together forever. I guess what I need advice on is how to go about this feeling. If I act upon there can be 2 outcomes..getting rejected by M & loosing B. & actually acting upon it M going along with it, & STILL loosing B. ORRR I could still go for YEARS more with this GUILTY feeling in the back of my mind!?!!? Its it completely odd to feel the way I do? Should I just say to hell with it and go with my brain? IDK I am lost here and have been for years!

ANY advice on this would be GREAT! & ell me how it is!! lol Don't try to sugar coat it I am an adult here and I can take it. Thanks, J

I've been in somewhat similar situations but once I got in a relationship with someone all those feelings went away, maybe it's cuz I knew what I wanted?
Im going to be honest I'm just Throwing out ideas, I wouldn't tell someone that they needed to go for B or M if I wasn't sure. So I'm just thinking that B might not be what you really want, and I also think M isn't either (just like you said you don't want a relationship with him), and that's because your feelings aren't based on caring but more on attraction.
You need to focus more on your relationship with B; ask yourself if it's really the type that you can be with forever and be happy. If it is then you should think about that when you start having those feelings for M and eventually they should go away, gl

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i will start right from the beging.:/
i know this girl who i went to primary school, danielle got in contact with me and we decided to meet up as i havnt seen her in ages. well i meet all her friends and that when i meet carlton. he is an amazing wonderful kind boy. well anyone we had such a good time we all meet again. we went to the beach this time tho and we kicking sand at each other just playing around just me and him. but my mum rang and wanted me home blah blah... so i went on facebook and we were talking all the time this went on for about 4-5 weeks we used to stay up till 3 in the morning just talking but then i would fall asleep at 3:L but anyway. i was going to scotland for 3 weeks my dad lives up there and he was getting married so i had to go. so it was the night before i left and it was about 12 and al his mate were asking me to go up to his and spend my last night with him as he wont get to see me but i said no, in mind it was like 1 in the morning anyway it got to 3 and i fell asleep and woke up with about 10 messages from him saying please wake up i want to ask you summin...so i texted him asking what and he wouldnt tell me so i got to the air port and he then text me saying will you be my girlfriend blah blah and i said yes. so i was in scotland texting every second wouldnt put my phone down..so when i got back from there i said hello to my mum and me and my mate went to go see him..and it was really akward and first but we got over it and we went to hes with everyone...and watched a movie..we have our first kiss and mine. so over the next month he came to meet my family came to family things with me and we told each other we not gunna say i love you till we mean it. and we had lucy and hes best mate liam around they were playing fighting on the floor and we were going the same on the bed.. but he whispered i love you in my ear...i could do anything i was in shock but i kissed him and thats when i realised i loved him too. so i said it back..and i lost my v with him he alreaddy lost his to a girl before me but there were two other girl before me one of them is now dating his friend...the other he was with a year. she cheat on him with danielle boyfriend. thats when they broke up and 4 months after he met me. they didnt really talk..but as soon as he got with me nicole started telling him she still loves him and wnats him back so after about 4 months he broke up with me. and got back with nicole after i think wat was 3 weeks after we broken up..i didnt eat:/ sleeep:/ or get out if my bed:/ hardly wents to school:/ but they been going out for aboout 2 months and we started talking again..he been telling me that she doesnt make him happy anymore she treats him like a bit of dust on her shoes..he says he feels invisible, she annoys him and she lies alot to him but he loves her:/ and then he came to my house the other night he seds "he was in the neighbourhood so he thought he pop round to see everyone" he lives on the other side of town:/ so a week after of talking ( he also broke up with her within a week of us talking again) i told him that my feeling never went and that i still love him but he hasnt told me anything nicole has gone away for a week and she is back tonight he told me to see what happens tonight as he doesnt know if there togther or not and he wants to find out so he can sort this mess out but as soon as there are toghter which they will be..i am out of the window again, it feel as if he picking her over me. which he is.. and its annoying he messages my mum and stepdad on facebook to see how everyone is..as he was really close to my family..he says he misses everyone including me..but i just dont know what do to..i cant go a day without thinking about him even when we werent toghter...but i feel like my heart has been ribed out of my body. i know you probly get this all the time but i am 15..16 in may and i feel like this has been the most hardest time in my life i dont know what i have done to get this:/ so if anyone has a comment please do i need all the help i can get right now:( btw alot more has happend than that^^ this is like a really really short toke of it all. all happends like over a year.

This guy will not make you happy because he will never truly love you, no matter how much you want him to. I'm sorry that you had to go through your first love heart break so early but you wont feel so crappy forever (unless you don't do anything about it and keep trying to be with him).
You need to move on; go to school, be with your friends, and do what you can to keep yourself busy. All this is so that you'll meet someone that will love you and show you how special and amazing you are to them.
If you have any questions let me know

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21/F
boyfriend is also 21

my boyfriend and i have been dating for 4 months. I know it doesn't seem long, but we were talking for 3 months before that. but officially been dating for 4 months. anyways, things were going really good we never really fought and if we did we would figure things out pretty quickly. we go to the same college and so we see each other a lot but we give each other space too so we don't get annoyed of each other. 2 weeks ago things started to get a little different and he told me that he just doesnt know anymore. he's super confused with himself and doesn't feel completely happy. i asked if i did anything to make him feel this way and he said no, that it's all him. he doesn't know whats wrong with him and he doesn't know what to do. i asked him if he wanted to break up or be single and he got all teary eyed and said that hurt really bad to hear that. he wants to work things out and wants to still be with me but he's really confused and doesn't know what to do or how to help himself. and neither do i. i have no idea how to help him. he says it's killing him inside because he knows he's hurting me. he said the only thing that bothers him with me is that my mood changes and he doesn't know if he's the one that's making my mood change or what. i've told him that it's never him. it's just school and other things. and i've been trying to change so that my mood doesn't go up and down all the time. he knows i'm trying. he would never cheat on me and i know this for a fact and i would never cheat on him. we both have been cheated on and so we both know how it feels.


the main thing is he just is so confused and doesn't know what he wants. and he just wants to be happy again. i have no idea how to help and thats what i really want to do. i'm worried that he's going to break up with me but i already asked if he wanted to and like i said, he said that he didn't want to and if he wanted to he could of done it already.


i guess what i'm asking is if anyone knows any suggestions of what i could tell him, how i could help, what i can do, or something..

Its just stress; I'm going into my 3rd year of college and sometimes it just hits you. Your life is the way it's always been but all the work your doing (school, work, other responsibilities) really catches up to you. So what you need to do is relax for a weekend; try not to think about school and work, and go out and do something together. Go out on a long date; dinner, a movie, go back to his or your place and just relax. It'll be good for the both of you

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I gave everything for this guy and what does he do? He likes my best friend. In september, this guy started talking to me 24/7 about my bestie that he liked. I gave him advice about it. Slowly, me and this guy became really good friends. Then, I got a boyfriend. The guy told me that he liked me and we hung out one time in March. My boyfriend freaked out about me and the guy hanging out. =/ Anyways, when me and the guy hung out, he kissed me. I didnt know what to do because I was stunned. I broke up with my boyfriend because I decided it wasnt fair to him. At the end of March, the guy whom I became good friends with became my boyfriend. We get into fights but always make things better. I got really bored today and hacked his facebook account and went to his messages. He was talking to my bestie earlier today so I clicked on it and began to read. Well, lets just say I have been crying and hyperventalating for the last hour. =( He told me best friend that he never stopped liking her even though he is flupping dating me!!! AHH! I tried calling my bestfriend to talk to her about it but she wasnt home. I dont know what to do, this guy means the world to me! I love him so much and I never want to loose him! HELP!!

You love him so much that you hacked his profile and read his messages because you don't trust him? I don't know who told you what love is but they are idiots.
You dont love this boy, to love someone one of the first things you have to do is trust them completly.
My advice is to dump him and wait a couple of years when your mature enough to handle a real relationship, otherwise your just going to find your self alone and unhappy relationship after relationship, gl

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okay. so i like this kid, and he's a junior in high school and i'm a sophomore. this kid has known i've liked him for 4 years now. but were complete opposites. BUT, we have lunch together and he looks at me all the time. and all his friends know that i like him, oh and btw he's a "tool" so you can just imagine the way he acts around his friends. so yeah. anyways in our school we do a "dancing" unit in gym. and we do couples dancing. and i decided to go dance in his gym class. and i had to dance with him 3 times. OMFG BEST DAY OF MY LIFE. and we looked at each other and of course it was well awkward. so while i was dancing with him all of his friends were giving him thumbs up and doing sexual faces and saying "get it" ya know that's what all the "tool" guys say. so do you think he likes me? even if we've never talked? but he known i've liked him for 4 straight years now?

It doesn't matter whether he likes you or not YOU need to ask him out already. It's been four years do you know how bad that is?
It's bad because you've wasted all the time waiting for him to ask you out and you've missed out on either being with him or with someone else. The worst part of it all is you don't know him well enough to even like him; so even if you start dating chances are your going to like him for the wrong reasons (he's a tool and you still like him, that's really stupid) or not like him at all.
My advice is to stop wasting your time. That means talk to him already and get to know him better or move on

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It's like, there's still a part of me that worries about what society thinks. I'm black and like how I look, and who I am, and like this white guy, but a part of me feels embarrassed by it, and idk why. I'm attracted to guys with similar interests (regardless of culture), who are attractive, so I've crushed on guys from all over. I see us as all humans, and support love (whether it's with another guy of my culture or out) in general, and aren't racist at all, so why do I feel this way?

I think this is something that prevents me from getting into relationships. I'm 17 and have never been with anyone, and I feel like I have issues letting people getting close to me, because I'm afraid of rejection (and afraid of someone else being racist, when it's not like i'm ugly or anything, tbh). So I kind of shut them off early, even if I had a great connection with them before. And then I also fear possibly getting into a relationship, like how society would view it, if it's "unconventional". and in general, just like the idea of being in a relationship and showing PDA freaks me out. But if I'm with someone I really like why should I care what society thinks? Why do I feel this way when I know it is irrational? I know better, and yet my heart is afraid.

This is just complicated, and frustrating, please help

A lot of people make decisions taking into account what others will think about them, so it's somewhat normal but it can keep you from being happy. Like in your situation you like a boy who has a different skin color; in my society nobody and I mean NOBODY cares about skin color except for maybe the older people who are a little prejudice about black people, and even then that population here is almost non existent. I've heard that up north ( I live on the boarder of Mexico in Texas) people can be really racist towards us (Hispanics) and black people so I guess it's different. Even then it wouldn't have stopped me from asking my ex to be my girlfriend (who was white) or in the future if I like a black girl it won't either. The things people say don't bother me; skin color is only one thing to say something about. I know you don't know this since you've never really been with someone but your family and friends are going to say something you don't like about the other person eventually. Even if he's black they're Going to pick out the things they dont like about him and it's going to annoy you
My advice is to not let color get in the way of you being happy and try to not let what other people say keep you from living your life the way you want to, it's only going to keep you from being happy and in this case you might miss out on someone special

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thank you. that's true, but something just tells me to let go. its 3:05 am. i called his brother private because they are in the same party, the only thing you can hear my boyfriend in the background singing and screaming. I know for a fact that if a girl goes dancing to him hes not going to stay like that. what bothers me the most is that his friends they bring their girlfriend to the party, but my boyfriend doesn't. If he wanted me to go he would have invited me. i wouldn't have to let him know.

Guess I miss read your question.
Your in a relationship with someone you don't trust so you want to be at the party to make sure he doesnt do something wrong.
Being in a relationship without someone you don't FULLY trust isn't good for either of you. Your not going to be happy and your not going to grow closer together. It's like a wall And on the other side is a happier, more healthy relationship, but it's something I'm thinking you won't get with this guy.
Before you said yes (to being his girlfriend) you should already have trusted him. Because being in a relationship is not only being committed to one another but being open and honest as well.
. Wanting to be at a party to baby sit him
. Calling is brothers phone on private
That's not what a girlfriend needs to be doing; that's what a mom does when she suspects her kid is on drugs or something ( not TRUSTING his judgement).
What you have in front of you are three choices. You can work on your relationship with this guy and Try and get over that wall, you don't and spend more nights calling his brother on private (having a very unhealthy relationship), or you dump him

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Sometimes I go out with my friends and seem to catch him in there. today we were just having a conversation and he didn't even ask me oh you want to stay with me home and watch a movie. he just left to the party with his friends. I just feel a little embarrass because since a lot of people know we are going out, they are probably going to wonder "oh where is hes girl, I wonder why hes never with her" do you get what am saying. sometimes i feel as if i didn't have a boyfriend. I just don't know what to do. and i don't even know what he does at those party's. what do you suggest i should do ? :'(

Communication
Your boyfriend doesnt know how you feel so you need to tell him. I understand why you wouldn't want to, you don't want to seem needy or annoy him but if he cares about you he'll hear you out and make an effort to make you feel less left out.
So I suggest the next time you talk to him on the phone or in person tell him there's something that's been bothering you and if you could talk to him about it (do not text about this, it's easy to take something differently in a text message, talking is more clear).
Other than that just work on your communication. Us guys aren't very good on picking up on stuff like girls are, this doesn't mean that we don't care, just means that sometimes we need to be told; what happens after that shows whether we care or not

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this guy i met is really sweet and started telling me sweet stuff and it made me fall in love wit him he said he loved me and i was his only one but the problem is that in facebook hes in a relationship how do i react or do(should i tell him face to face why he lied to me)...

To be honest im pretty sure he's just messing with you. See before love comes a relationship which you both aren't in; and you refered to him as "this guy I met" which says you both don't know anywhere close to enough about each other to be in love. This is what you call "puppy love"; if he stops talking to you you'll be over him in a week or less.
My advice is to stay away from him; only a idiot says "your the only one", that should be completely obvious when he says he "loves" you, do you see that now? He's not serious about you, if he was you would already be in a relationship together. You both love each other so much so what is it that's holding him back from asking? That would be other girls

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