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Welcome to my column.
I don't apologize for my answers. I speak to the audience, and in doing so I sometimes tell the audience things they don't want to hear or cant handle.
I believe in stands on principle. I believe that doing right for the sake of doing right is a good way to live. I believe in self awareness and encourage it in others. I offer the most unbiased viewpoint I have. And yes, I am only human.
Im going to tell you what I think you need to hear. You are not supposed to take what I say and follow it. You are supposed to take what I say and _think_about_it_
Oh, and feel free to ask me questions, but netspeak, ebonics, terrible grammar, and your teen angst about a crush will be ignored.
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I am 21/f and I've really fucked up. About 2 years ago, I met this guy. We'll call him Fred. Fred is 26 and EXCEPTIONALLY handsome. Probably(definitely) the most handsome man I've ever met. So that was my initial attraction. We hung out a few times over the years but never hooked up or anything. Then at some point he stated that he was looking for a roommate so he and I moved in together about 7 months ago. Its been going great and I really like living with him. I've also gotten to know him a lot better. He's so sweet and kind and he's just unlike anyone I've ever met. We haven't had any issues except one thing; we began having sex about 2 months ago. We've spoken about it and we're both aware that we've broken a major rule about living with the opposite sex. We use protection but we're not exclusive or anything. Besides the little girl inside me wanting to share the sexy secret with all my friends, nobody knows.
And this wouldn't be an issue either but somethings happened that I completely saw coming; I think I'm in love with him. Its not just the sex or the fact that he's got looks like johnny depp on steroids, he shows that he cares about me in little ways and since we live alone together, its easy to notice the small things. I know he doesn't feel the way I do though, and why should he? He's ready to get all his shit in one pile and I feel sick thinking that I've trapped him in this position. It would be so easy to just stop sleeping with him but the sex is so good. Its fantastic and I've never had sex like this with anyone. We experiment and he's so open to new things and we talk and its just so new to me. I've only slept with one other man my entire life and I never enjoyed it. Not like this. I think about this whenever I'm awake. I dream about it when I'm asleep. I'm like obsessed and I don't want to be. I don't think its fair to Fred. We've talked a few times about it but I can just tell he doesn't care for me like I do him. I can deal with never becoming anything more for him, but I can't deal with the guilt that is accompanying me alongside with this INTENSE and CORRODING pleasure. And I can't deal with the thought that our entire friendship in general could get fucked up just because I'm a lovesick harlot. I hate myself for doing this but I'm already in so deep. I don't want to quit. I know I have to though. Its gonna be so difficult though :(( What should I do? Do I move out? Is there anything I can do to keep my emotions from getting in the way of his life? Is it possible for us to keep a sexual relationship going if we're still living together?
HELP (link)
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Good fucking God woman...
You're jumping to alot of assumptions. You've managed to convince yourself that he has no interest in you outside of sex. "You can just tell"
You're an idiot and you're letting your lack of self esteem shade your perceptions of this guy. Stop trusting yourself and what you see and start asking some questions.
Yes, it is possible he doesn't feel the same way. Yes, you're going to need to find a new place to live and get out of the sexual relationship if that is the case. It's going to tear you up more than the good sex is worth to be intimate with him and want to say "I love you" and know you can't.
Yes, it is also possible that you have no idea what you're talking about and that he's completely into you and you're just blind. I mean, you called yourself a lovesick harlot for Christ's sake. Can we get a little more self abuse in this question? I don't think we've hit peak drama yet.
Stop freaking out. If you drive yourself insane you are going to blow whatever chance you might have to make something work.
This is schrodinger's relationship. We know it's one or the other. We have no idea which until the question is asked. You haven't trapped him, you've had good sex with a guy you like.
I can tell there's this huge undercurrent of "I am not worthy of him" flowing through your post.
Stop that shit. Stop it now. Worthy has nothing to do with relationships. We choose people for our own reasons and you don't know this guy enough to know if he's chosen you much less know what his reasons might be.
He isn't perfect and neither are you. Are you a match? Maybe. Need more relationship to find out. Stop approaching this like you're a fangirl walking up to Robert Pattinson and asking him to bite you. Seriously. Stop it. Have a little more self respect, because no one wants to have a "I know you'd never be interested in plain old me but I adore you and worship you and I was hoping you would crush my heart gently and maybe fuck me oh so well a few more times" conversation.
Instead try something like "Fred, we have a problem. Your dick is magical. I'm falling in love with him and I guess we thought you deserved to know. I know it will be a little awkward, but we're going to have to pretend to be in a relationship from this point forward because your dick and I are going to be spending as much time together as possible and we wouldn't want the neighbors to talk. Maybe we could discuss our impending fake exclusive relationship over dinner tonight? Your dick is going to want me to tell him all about it later, he's eager to know if you're cool with it."
Ok that was ridiculous, but you get the idea. The woman who could drop that into the conversation in your situation would be a woman who doesn't feel inferior to the guy she's interested in.
Feeling or acting inferior is enough to scuttle a relationship. It's not that you are inferior. It's that when you act like it, you create an imbalance in the relationship. People who are hopelessly abusive douchebags want partners. Partners imply equality.
Talk to him like there's every possibility that the guy who you say shows you he cares and gives you amazing sex is interested in more. I mean, seriously? You live together and have been having sex for two months, and you think he's not at all interested?
Go talk to him. If you like, report the results. Give details if you do. What got said on both sides. Going to need to know how the conversation went to give you any more insight into the situation.
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I'm a thirteen year old girl. This question is for people ages 21 and up, but I suppose 18 is ok too.
These days, schools are really drilling the message into us that we shouldn't drink beer or take drugs and everything else like that (I don't know if they did that when you were little). So what I'm concerned about is that right now I am SOOOO against alcohal. I won't TOUCH a can of beer or a bottle of wine. All of the adults on both sides of my family drink but I am totally against it. I'm afraid even though I despise alcohal now, that I'll just start drinking or be pressured into drinkimg when I'm older.
Were you this way when you were younger? If so did you start drinking, even just a little? Do you think I'll start when I'm legally old enough? Please help I'm soooo scared. (link)
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Yes, your perspectives will probably change as you get older and you don't fear things just because other people told you you should fear them. Yes, such changes will probably change the behaviors associated with those fears as well.
There's no point in worrying about it now. You're not going to try alcohol unless you stop despising it. Odds just are that you won't despise it forever.
But again, there's no point in worrying because when you do try it you won't feel the way about it you do now, and you won't be scared or hateful about it anymore.
Friendly word of advice. If/when you try alcohol, try it with a few trusted friends who don't mind drinking. Not like at a party out somewhere. Everyone has a tolerance. Some are lightweights, some are not. It's a good idea to learn your tolerances and know how much how fast is too much too fast.
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So my boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years. We have a great relationship and we plan to keep it that way for forever.
We are in a really great spot right now. I am 25/f and he is 28/m. He just graduated with his masters degree, and I finished my program certification last year. I have a great job and he's got tons of people interested in him with the degree that he has. We just moved in to a new apartment, and in short, our lives are good.
I've always said that I wanted to wait until we are in a stable spot to get married, and I think right now we are. I'm just not sure how to bring it up. There's always that stereotype that girls are just supposed to wait and let guys decide when it's time to get married because they are the ones proposing. If my boyfriend would allow it, I would propose myself (lol) But I know that eventually, he would want to do that.
So anyways. I'm jsut not sure how to bring it up. I don't want to be the naggy girlfriend always bugging him to get married. I just want to know that he's thinking about it and that it's in our future.
Thanks for any and all input! (link)
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In modern relationships it's normal to start discussing marriage views like six months into the relationship. Feeling each other out and sharing perspectives and such when it becomes clear the relationship is serious and has some staying power.
You should have been talking about it already. It's a big decision and should be mutual, not "I wait quietly for him to decide it's the right time"
You're both adults. Have an adult discussion.
How do you bring it up? Have a nice dinner at home. Pick something up that costs a good bit that you both like. Casually drop "So I've been thinking about marriage and I was wondering if you have too" into the conversation.
I don't know where you picked up that stereotype. It's wrong. Discussion is not bugging, and you have every right to lay down some expectations and see how he reacts to them. Obviously marriage is a requirement for you. Does he know that yet?
If not, that's kinda a problem and you two need to talk more.
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So I've been talking to/hooking up with this guy that I met about a month ago. We have good chemistry together and don't seem to ever run out of things to talk about so things are going well between us. The thing is that he's 33 and I'm 19.
We've already had sex once but we're making plans to have a sleepover together soon and I was just seeking some advice as to what older guys might like in bed.. I know everybody has their own preference, and we're comfortable with each other so I can ask questions (like "do you like when I do that/what do you want me to do"), but what may be something that could kind of 'wow' him from me?
Being younger, I definitely don't think I'm as experienced as he is. My sex life for the past 2 1/2 years has been with the same guy, my ex-boyfriend, so I'm a little nervous that what I'm used to may be a little boring.
Any tips would be appreciated.. thanks! (link)
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Have sex. Start talking after. Ask him what he's into, what he'd like to try, share a few of your own ideas, come up with some together, and keep an open mind about trying things you never have before.
Positions, acts, clothes, roleplay, new locations to have sex, there are plenty of subjects you can discuss. If all else fails, go find a tube porn site and go through categories together and see if anything is mutually appealing. Plenty of ideas there to look at, and you can have fun watching some porn together while you're at it.
Do some googling. Look up instructions for things you already know how to do. There are lots of ways to do oral, plenty of things you can do with your hands.
Look up videos of massages. Instruction pages. Whatever. Being able to give a good massage will win anyone points in a relationship.
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I am a retired member of law enforcement in my late 50s. My wife of 35 yrs left me suddenly last month. No discussion, she just was gone. A few days layer she called saying she needed a break. She suffers from major depressive disorder. My kids, late and early teens live with me. My son has shut her out of his life as this is the 2nd such departure she has made in the last yr. My son is angry and hurt by her actions. My young daughter is confused. I know i must care 4 my kids and do so but i am so down. These were to be my retirement yrs,instead it is hell. I am not interested in starting over. But i refuse to get old and eventually be alone. There are no 3rd parties involved here unless u count depression. On the job ive seen how these things can and do play out. Im not going to be sitting all alone staring at the walls or making umteen trips to a therapist. This will end badly 4 me no matter what.But at least i can end me. There is no other options. I feel very sorry 4 my kids. Mayb this way they can find a way to reconcile with their mother.
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I've been where you are. I'm younger than you, but I've had a wife throw away everything we built over years of being together including our family which included a son, and was helpless to stop it.
Self Termination is selfish and stupid.
I think you probably know that.
If I had eaten a bullet or something similar when my wife left me, I would have missed so much with my son. Starting over sucked, but once I got rolling with it, things started to feel normal again. I met a woman, I'm falling in love, life is different than I imagined it a few years ago by far, but different is not all bad. There are still things worth living for.
Never do that to your kids. They'll never get over it. Maybe you're so hurt right now you don't care. If you deal with the realities that life has presented you like an adult, in a few years you'll be glad you're still alive. That's inevitable. The story of literally everyone who hasn't committed suicide is "it got better"
Get some therapy. Go get some exercise. Pretend you're not in your 50s. Try to remember what it was like to not be tired of life all the time.
Yeah, it sucks man. 35 years later... There was no way to plan for or predict this. You can't just throw in the towel. There's still life left to live, things to experience, and things left for you to do.
Don't leave now and leave it all undone.
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I'm fourteen and bicurious (mostly heterosexual). In the past two months, my sex drive has increased and I don't know how to deal with it. I masturbate sometimes, but this only gives temporary relief. I've never dated and probably won't start soon. I am shy, socially awkward, and not the type of girl guys ask out. In addition, I don't go to a traditional public school, so I rarely meet boys my age who would ask a girl out. I'm a virgin and planning on saving sex for marriage, or at least until I find the right person. How can I deal with my sexual desire?
In addition, I've had a weird obsession with stretching my vagina lately. This morning while I was home alone, I dug a few small empty bottles out of the recycle, washed them really well, and penetrated myself with them. Is this wrong? Should I stop? (link)
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Stop using makeshift sex toys. Probably nothing will happen, but a broken bottle in your vagina could easily kill you. Seriously, it's just not worth the risk.
There are ways to obtain sex toys. Use your imagination and get yourself a toy or two.
Teenage years are a time of raging hormones. It's the most cliche' thing to say about teenagers because it's so painfully true for everyone. You're just going to have to deal with being a little crazy from time to time, not being able to think about anything but sex. Everyone who has a sex drive at all has to deal with it once in a while. It gets easier with adulthood. You get used to it and you get fewer uncontrollable spikes.
There's nothing wrong with what you're doing except the unsafe part. In a pinch you can google ideas for sex toys that are not glass bottles but you really should find a way to invest in a toy for yourself.
Also listen to Rahzie, she's probably as kinky as I am and she's better at talking about figuring it out. Weird and sex are not always a bad combination. Just, you know, do your homework and figure things out so you can be safe doing whatever.
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I'm fourteen and I haven't started dating yet. I'm socially awkward and kind of shy (especially around boys, regardless of their attractiveness). I don't go to a traditional public school, so I rarely meet boys my age who would ask a girl out. But being a hopeless romantic, I dream of being in a relationship.
I recently went to a summer music festival for orchestral and chamber music where I met a guy who I really, really like. I can't stop thinking about him, even though we said goodbye a week ago. He doesn't like me back, not that way. He's eighteen and going to college next year. Since the world of professional orchestral musicians is so small, I thought I had a chance of playing with him again, but it turns out that he's not going into music. I might never see him again.
Should I try to get over him? (link)
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Yeah, you should.
If you ever meet him again in the future, hey, maybe you flirt and see what happens. Don't count on it or try to figure out how to make it happen or anything like that. Just let it go and put him out of your mind until you stop missing him, not much else you can do. Distance sucks and you shouldn't consider getting into it at 14. Distance relationships are for adults with the ability to move across the country to make something work.
Work on just talking to guys. Lots of people are shy and socially awkward, even extroverts can be and often are. Just talk to them. We're really not a whole lot different from you, just taught different things about our identity by society.
A piece of advice. I'm in my late 20s. There are plenty of women my age who can't express themselves as coherently as you just did in this post. You are pretty far above the average in intelligence and perception.
Don't settle.
Speaking as someone of above average intelligence and perception, there are few things that suck worse than being in a relationship with someone 20 IQ points shy of being on level ground with you.
Be a hopeless romantic. Feel free to have fun, but pay attention to the people you date and don't commit unless you're dealing with someone you can hold an intelligent conversation with. Lots of guys are assholes. The percentage rises the lower down on the IQ chart you go. Men aren't exactly raised to be analytical critical thinkers and you shouldn't settle for someone who lacks the intelligence to rise above all that. You'll be a hell of alot more miserable than someone on his level would be.
I gave up on finding an equal and as a result it took me 28 years and a divorce to really find the right person.
Don't be me. Don't settle. You'll know if you are later in life.
Sorry that's alot to load on a 14 year old, but I wish someone had flicked me in the forehead and pointed this out when I was your age.
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25/f. I'm just curious as to what you guys think about this.
I'm a long, complicated mess, but here's the story as short and sweet as I can make it: I've been in two abusive relationships, and was cheated on in the last one (I don't count it as abuse because the coercive control tactics were missing). I'm so done.
All that said, I just don't look at guys the same way anymore. I've been single and far over the last relationship-fail for a good eight months. I even saw my ex after we broke up and was completely indifferent to him. He looked like a different person to me in the sense that I no longer found him attractive. It was like someone had flipped a switch in my brain.
Apologies for the graphic, but I don't seem to get wet anymore. Like... it used to be that I'd actually be attracted to attractive guys, and occasionally get turned on by them. Now it's like nothing stirs in me. I don't fantasize sexually (not in the usual sense anyway), I have no desire to masturbate - at all, which is really odd for me. I used to have a pretty high sex drive. What's more, the few times I have tried touching myself, I've felt wrong about it, like it was crass and inappropriate. I do NOT feel that way about masturbation. I think it's a great way to get to know your body and pleasure yourself, and really how can you be intimate with someone else if you can't be intimate with yourself?
I know it's normal for people to kinda be "off their feed" in a sense, after a relationship goes badly. But I'm not even off... I'm just kinda... not. I'm a straight girl, and right now, the male gender is about as attractive to me as a water bottle. I have a mild crush on a celebrity, but I think the appeal in that is that he is unattainable and safe because of this fact. I have my theories around that/him. Anyway...
Sometimes, though, I have sex dreams. VIVID sex dreams. I have actually woken up mid-orgasm from these dreams without touching myself.
...Mind over matter?
I don't really know what my question is, but I am thoroughly confused by this cognitive dissonance going on with my lack-of-conscious VS subconscious sex drive.
Anyone have any insight? Better, has anyone had this experience, or something similar? (link)
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You're repressing.
Can you guess which word I picked out of that fairly lengthy paragraph? The single word that is the big glaring clue?
"Safe"
When the mind is faced with emotions or other stimuli it can't cope with, it tends to numb out a bit. It's a pretty natural response. This goes deeper than just a lack of sexual desire, you're right that your perspective on men has changed. They aren't safe, to you. And with that standing in the way, it's difficult for you to engage emotionally, including with the emotions of attraction and lust.
The dreams come because your mind can create safe, and wants to. You still very much have a sex drive, but you have emotional blocks about expressing it consciously.
Ever considered porn? There isn't a ton out there explicitly made for women, but there is some. Dane Jones comes to mind. A fantasy that is more likely to be the safer kind you need right now. It might be a bridge back to feeling a bit more normal when you're awake.
Give yourself some time. Recovery is much a matter of slow acclimation to change as it is about doing things to get yourself better.
Therapy would not be a bad idea.
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we've been dating for about a year things have been good but sometimes i question why he hasn't officially said we're in a relationship? mind you he's one of my good friends younger brother my guy always chased me through the years until i finally decided to give him a chance. well we really clicked and now i feel like we could have a future together. he's a bit younger i'm 34 and ready to settle down he's 31 and still drinks and apparently smokes weed and likes to flirt with girls when he's out with the boys something i found out last night from my other best friend (male) who i think secretly has a crush on me who also happens to be friends with my guy ( we all grew up together). now i'm sad hurt confused and angry. I don't want to lose him but i don't want to get played and risk yet another heartbreak. please help. (link)
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Good lord. You got with the guy who idolized you as the hot older chick he always wanted growing up. That is such a terrible idea I have to give you kudos for having the stones to go through with it.
I'm baffled how you made it a year without a "where do we stand" talk. It's weird when someone is insecure and asks constantly, it's way weirder to never have that conversation in the first year of dating someone.
Mostly it sounds like you're overreacting to something you haven't managed to communicate about that's coming as a surprise after a year together. How, exactly, do you discover things about someone if you never talk? And I don't mean mundane conversations about your day or likes and dislikes or even future plans. I mean conversations where you figure out who each other are a little bit and how you both think.
Also the slightly depressing thought that maybe you're with a guy who you've had a relationship talk with more than once in a year just occurred.
Please tell me you haven't been bringing this up to him for a year and gotten nothing back...
Ask some questions. Be a little more up front and honest than you've been. If you can't, the relationship is over. If he won't, the relationship is over. If you talk and commitment isn't what he's into right now, well balls in your court at that point.
You really need to work on your relationship communication skills.
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(Im a 22 year old girl.)This one feels complicated. I met my now best guy friend, who is a 21 year old guy, at work at the beginning of the year and we bonded through his breakup with his long time girlfriend. We're a lot alike in a lot of ways and talk easily about pretty much everything, including our dating lives, family/personal/work problems and secret future dreams. Over the past like three months our friendship has gotten deeper and deeper, I guess you could say. Out of the blue one night he told me I was his best friend and he felt closer to me than to his best guy friend that he grew up with. Then he told me he loved me as a best friend. Then he started relying on my fashion and relationship advice to get back into dating. He kissed me on the forehead once to tell me goodnight and I was completely thrown back. Then he started flirting with me jokingly, when at the beginning of our friendship this was just not done even as a joke. Now he's calling me babe and flirting with me hot and heavy-mostly when we're around other people-while telling me he loves me (without saying as a friend like used to always specify) A LOT-around other people and not. All of our coworkers and friends say they see something there and after his comment tonight "what if we're like those friends that in 15 years realize they can't live without each other and get married?" I'm starting to wonder what to make of all this. Any insight? (link)
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You're both blind (but you're worse) and he's in love with you.
If you like him that way, tell him, kiss him, go from there. If you don't, the friendship is over, because he's in love with you and keeping on being his friend is going to send him signals which give him hope to keep after you until one of you goes nuts.
How can you wonder what to make of this? It sounds exactly like two people in denial. Wake up and do something about it before one of you spontaneously combusts.
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ive been with my boyfriend for 10 months now and he isn't a virgin but i am. and i wanted to know that he really loves me and he didn't just want to get in my pants so i decided not to give it up to him in the beginning. now we're at 10 months and i feel like sometimes i wanna give it up to him and sometimes i don't because im scared that im gonna regret it. my real problem is that im scared that he's gonna leave me or have sex with someone else because hes waited so long without having sex (link)
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You're not emotionally ready.
Adults meet someone, get to know them, and once they feel like they know them they make the decision as to whether or not this is a person they want to be intimate with.
You can't predict the future. Can't know if he'll cheat or leave you. You're 16. The chances of you spending your life with him are probably less than 1%.
Would you regret him being your first if you did break up? If the answer is yes, you are not ready.
To be honest, I just don't think that you yourself are ready. I think that if you were it's entirely possible that he could be a decent choice to start with.
How much do you talk to him? I'm at the start of a new relationship myself right now. Our time scale is a bit different than yours, but basically we have not yet slept together and are planning to fairly soon, and we've discussed... pretty much everything about it, honestly. From the responsible topics like birth control to the fun topics like "anything in particular you like?" we've had a pretty decent amount of conversation about it.
Talk to your boyfriend. Raise your concerns. Look him in the eye when you speak and see how he reacts. Communicate more and you'll be able to figure things out better.
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So I'm in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend, I live in the U.S. and he lives in Australia. We have yet to meet up, because of money issues.
Today he tells me he has to tell me something and then proceeds to tell me he was caught masturbating in someones backyard. He was questioned by the police and has to go to a hearing in a few weeks.
I honestly thought he was joking, but he assured me that he isn't. I'm in shock, I don't understand why he'd do something like that. I asked him why and he said he's not really sure. I can't wrap my head around this, I'm in disbelief. I feel sick to my stomach, but I'm also worried he could potentially go to jail or something.
What brings a guy to do something like that?? (link)
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Break it off and date someone closer. Even if this didn't look like a trainwreck in progress that would be the suggestion.
Different zip code is easy. Different county is irritating. Different national boundary is insane unless you're ridiculously rich or an adult who flies to other countries regularly for business or you're actively planning for one of you to move into the other's country within the year.
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hello I am an almost 13 year old girl and in 4th grade I was not popular and he (I will call him blue) was the second most popular guy, everyone liked him, he was athletic, cute, smart and nice. so one day my friend comes up to me and says "yesterday after school blue told me to tell you that HE LIKES YOU!" so i just go no no no your wrong why would anyone like me?! i'm not pretty, i'm super shy and not very smart. but i guess he still likes me! so then in the summer we hung out a few times then in 5th grade end of the year he asked me out. the summer we hung out once. just once. I miss him so much and i'm going into 7th grade. in MN where i live middle school is going into 6th grade and i haven't seen him in 2 years! i don't know if I should text him just to tell him how i still feel even if he doesn't feel the same or not. my friend texted him about a week ago saying i miss you and he said i cant wait for high school when we get to see each other again! i just miss him so much so any advice if i should text him or not? thanks. xoxo (link)
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Seconding Zane. I'm double your age, I just fell in love with someone, and it's totally about personality.
Yes text him. Don't start out with "I love you" start out with "I've missed you" and then tell him why you miss him. What you miss about spending time with him. See if he says the same kinda stuff, that he misses you too and that he can't wait to see you.
If he says the same kinds of stuff you do, tell him you still like him.
Lock him down before school starts. Nothing wrong with going into high school with a boyfriend.
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Im 16 a girl i love porn :/ n i love to masturbate is it bad a girl my age to masturbate (link)
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Because you asked "is it bad" and the blow answer managed to try to tell you that it isn't by saying the word yes, I will clearly state that no, masturbating and porn are not bad at all.
There are people who think so. I think it's a personal opinion, they bring God into it, it's all a big mess.
But the reality is that tons of people look at porn. Single people. Dating people. Married people. And in most of those cases, it's both normal and unremarkable.
It's not uncommon for two people who both like porn to watch it together when they're dating and sleeping with each other. Most people don't care. It's your private business and anyone who has a problem with it doesn't need to be involved in your private business.
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my mom said since she got an IUD once that your not allowed to get one unless you've had a baby already because your cervix is not wide enough for them to put it in and it could mess up your reproductive system..is this true? (link)
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I honestly do not know. I know the basics about IUDs, but I'm not a doc. That's a question for a gynecologist, I wouldn't want to trust whatever google finds to answer a question like that for me.
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I am 14 a year ago I flahsed my body on omegle to heaps of guys (very stupid I know) . To be honest I'm not afraid of it being leaked online cause I can tell people it wasn't be it wasn't me but I am worried on the men I flahsed to may be stalking me or trying to find me am I being paranoid ? (link)
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Yes, all of these things are possible. Leaked online is highly likely.
Get off of Omegle.
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Hi!.
My period was start july 6th end of 9th day i had sex wth my bf ,14th day 5 days after my period, its is safe ? (link)
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There is no "safe"
Chances are uncertain. Ovulation occurs usually somewhere between two weeks from the start to two weeks from the end of your period. Five days after your period, if your period was 7 days long, could be 2 days before ovulation, which is dangerous. If your period was 3 days long you could potentially have more than a week and be pretty much safe.
Every woman's cycle is different. Wait until your next period ends or until it's a week late. Take a pregnancy test. If negative, take one more a week later. If positive, go see a doctor.
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I am 14 and my bf is 16 he proposed to me and I said yes but Ian a bit worried about what everyone keeps saying online about it being too young please help. (link)
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Yeah, you're way too young.
Don't try to get married before you're 18. You can only do that with parental permission so assuming your parents aren't batshit insane that's not really a problem.
Remember one thing for me. If you change your mind later, it's alright. You're 14, you don't have a clue what to want in a man you'd spend your life with. This period of your life is for starting to find out.
So date him. Be "engaged" or whatever. If you decide you don't like him, break off the engagement. It happens in the adult world all the time, so I'm sure there's no problem with you doing it.
And do yourself a favor, if somehow this does last until you're 18, give it two more years. Move out and go to college. Live alone or with roommates, but not him. Have an independent life, go to school, get a job or something, and pay some of your own bills. Be your own person and feel what it's like to live your own life. Figure out if this guy fits into that life that you want to live for yourself or not.
Don't marry anyone until you figure that out.
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Ive recently found out I'm pregnant. I'm only 24 and the dad isn't really involved if at all... I'm an attractive girl (not conceited) and I'm not a deadbeat in any way, as far as success and career I have things going for me... not saying I'm rich though. But down the road when Im ready to get back into the dating game I'm curious how easy or hard it will be with a kid. So my question to ALL you guys is... would you date a cute single mom or would the kid turn you off?! Would ou ever honestly be able to accept the kid as your own if it came down to that? What advice could you offer me when I do start dating again? PLEASE I want as many answers as possible. I appreciate feedback.. (link)
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There are a ton of men on both sides of that fence.
I'm 28, just got divorced, my ex has custody of our kid right now (I'm very involved, just saying) and alot of the people basically "our" age have kids.
If you're attractive, men will come knocking. You're 24, you know by now that's just how it works. If you were nearby I'd probably chat you up, that's just how it goes.
The stepdad thing is harder. I look at women I date differently now. From day 1 I evaluate how good of a mom I think she'd make. If you're a good mom you might well just find a guy who's a good dad and bond on that level. You might find a single guy who wants family. You might find guys who want nothing to do with the kid but everything to do with you because you're hot. It's up to you to sort the bad apples out of the bushel.
One bit of advice. Getting to trust someone takes a bit, you might know already. Don't have guys around your kid. Kids need stability. If someones going to be around them it needs to be someone dependable. Someone they can grow to trust. Family works well, obviously. Don't bring boyfriends in if you don't know if they'll be there in a year or two.
You're going to need time off. Family, friends, someone who can babysit on a semi regular basis. You need at least a good solid weekend a month or a few Fridays here and there to go out and be a single person.
If the dad isn't in the picture, that's one default babysitting and coordination option off the table. My ex and I would get grandparents and great grandparents to babysit for the night every so often. It was a necessary break, a time for us to go out and be people who didn't have formula stains on our shoulders.
You can date whenever you want, but when the kid comes that is going to be a huge upset to your life, and you yourself might not want to be in a relationship during and immediately after. You're going to be stressed out and worried, you're going to see your baby poop a new color and frantically google to find out if it's normal or if it means they're sick, and you're probably going to lose alot of sleep.
Having been fortunate enough to brave having a newborn in the house with the other parent present I cannot recommend strongly enough that you consider moving in with family who can and will help with the baby. Dead fucking serious. Stop paying rent so you can buy baby shit and have someone who can grab the kid for a 2 am feeding when you're only two hours into your own sleep cycle.
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I need help with my crush. I have known her for 5 years and shes shy around me. I asked her out but she never replys. But she just ends up hating me even more. It just makes things awkward. Should i give up after 5 years or keep going. (link)
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This is...scary.
If someone does not say yes, that's a no, and you need to move on. Like, the next day. Not 5 years later.
Following someone around for 5 years making things awkward is creepy. It's intrusive and uncomfortable.
And not just to her. You need to pay more attention to the things you let yourself do. Obsessing over one girl who never says yes for 5 years is incredibly unhealthy. You are obsessed.
I am not insulting you. I am calling this to your attention. You need to understand that what you've been doing is kinda fucked up, and you need to stop doing that to people. Not only do you make yourself into a negative aspect of a person you like's life, but I guarantee that in 5 years tons of people have seen you doing it.
That's alot of other girls you could have crushed on in the mean time and maybe if they hadn't watched you creeping this one girl out for five years they might have been more receptive than her.
Pay more attention to what people around you are thinking and feeling. I guarantee this girl has given you a ton of signs that say "go away" and given your 5 year persistence I'm sure she had no idea what to do to stop you short of some kind of confrontation.
That's what you need to understand. You took a girl you liked and made her uncomfortable to the point that the only thing that might have gotten you to back off was a pretty sizeable confrontation between the two of you. As persistent as you were in this, I would imagine she's known for years that you weren't going to go away.
You have to work harder to pay attention to people early. Figure out what they want. I can't really give you a good comparison that you can relate to for what it's like for a girl to be on the receiving end of this behavior, but you can at least trust me when I tell you that it's not fun to have someone chasing after you for years like this. Even if she wanted to be your friend she couldn't, because your friendship is probably conditional on being interested in her. The two are hopelessly intertwined on your side, and who knows if you've got anywhere near the maturity and self control to sort them out from each other and then only keep the friendship part.
What made you think that chasing after a girl for 5 years was normal? What was the thought process three years ago when it had already been 2 years and you still had no success? I cannot for the life of me understand how you let it go that far, even if you're a 13 year old talking about a friendship that started at 8. I still wonder what the hell you've been doing for a year, I think by 12 you should have been able to start figuring this out.
You're probably mid to late teens. You gotta pay more attention. Social interaction is complicated and takes effort. Put more effort into it.
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