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I need all men to give it to me straight about dating a single mom
Ive recently found out I'm pregnant. I'm only 24 and the dad isn't really involved if at all... I'm an attractive girl (not conceited) and I'm not a deadbeat in any way, as far as success and career I have things going for me... not saying I'm rich though. But down the road when Im ready to get back into the dating game I'm curious how easy or hard it will be with a kid. So my question to ALL you guys is... would you date a cute single mom or would the kid turn you off?! Would ou ever honestly be able to accept the kid as your own if it came down to that? What advice could you offer me when I do start dating again? PLEASE I want as many answers as possible. I appreciate feedback..
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
There are a ton of men on both sides of that fence.
I'm 28, just got divorced, my ex has custody of our kid right now (I'm very involved, just saying) and alot of the people basically "our" age have kids.
If you're attractive, men will come knocking. You're 24, you know by now that's just how it works. If you were nearby I'd probably chat you up, that's just how it goes.
The stepdad thing is harder. I look at women I date differently now. From day 1 I evaluate how good of a mom I think she'd make. If you're a good mom you might well just find a guy who's a good dad and bond on that level. You might find a single guy who wants family. You might find guys who want nothing to do with the kid but everything to do with you because you're hot. It's up to you to sort the bad apples out of the bushel.
One bit of advice. Getting to trust someone takes a bit, you might know already. Don't have guys around your kid. Kids need stability. If someones going to be around them it needs to be someone dependable. Someone they can grow to trust. Family works well, obviously. Don't bring boyfriends in if you don't know if they'll be there in a year or two.
You're going to need time off. Family, friends, someone who can babysit on a semi regular basis. You need at least a good solid weekend a month or a few Fridays here and there to go out and be a single person.
If the dad isn't in the picture, that's one default babysitting and coordination option off the table. My ex and I would get grandparents and great grandparents to babysit for the night every so often. It was a necessary break, a time for us to go out and be people who didn't have formula stains on our shoulders.
You can date whenever you want, but when the kid comes that is going to be a huge upset to your life, and you yourself might not want to be in a relationship during and immediately after. You're going to be stressed out and worried, you're going to see your baby poop a new color and frantically google to find out if it's normal or if it means they're sick, and you're probably going to lose alot of sleep.
Having been fortunate enough to brave having a newborn in the house with the other parent present I cannot recommend strongly enough that you consider moving in with family who can and will help with the baby. Dead fucking serious. Stop paying rent so you can buy baby shit and have someone who can grab the kid for a 2 am feeding when you're only two hours into your own sleep cycle.
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