ask WittyUsernameHere

A quick note: If I answered a question and you have further questions for me, please include a URL link to your original question(s) so that I can be sure of what we're talking about. Questions that reference something we talked about a week ago that I can't quite remember are kinda hard to answer.

Welcome to my column.

I don't apologize for my answers. I speak to the audience, and in doing so I sometimes tell the audience things they don't want to hear or cant handle.

I believe in stands on principle. I believe that doing right for the sake of doing right is a good way to live. I believe in self awareness and encourage it in others. I offer the most unbiased viewpoint I have. And yes, I am only human.

Im going to tell you what I think you need to hear. You are not supposed to take what I say and follow it. You are supposed to take what I say and _think_about_it_

Oh, and feel free to ask me questions, but netspeak, ebonics, terrible grammar, and your teen angst about a crush will be ignored.
Location: No where you've heard of.
Member Since: July 16, 2007
Answers: 2475
Last Update: May 5, 2013
Visitors: 52500
Rated: 5 times
Average Rating: 4

Main Categories:
Love Life
Random Weirdos
Mental health
View All

That didn't help. You just repeated what my friends tell me.

Thanks!

Thanks, we'll see what happens..

Thanks so much!!

Thank you veeeeeeery much for your honesty. Much appreciated, good sir. :D~~

THANK YOU! You helped save me from the WORST decision of my life! He was 18 and getting with 4 other girls I know of. He said he would only love ME forever but he was trying to get all of us pregnant at the same time. He got two girls pregnant so far that I heard of and one girl has TWO babies by him! This is the second guy I dated that wanted me to have his baby and the second guy who was busy with a whole bunch of other girls at the same time! LAST BLACK GUY I DATE EVER!

thank you for the advice, I feel a lot better now

thanx

thanks!

Thank you! Therapy was a good idea!

Thank you! You kinda said exactly what the advicer before you said but it didnt hurt to hear it twice. I dumped him because of you guys. THANK YOU!

haha yes i agree, i was just trying to prove my point to him that no one finds farting attractive :)

That's really scary!! Haha but if the friendship is doomed anyway.... I will definitely think about this

Thanks.

thanks:)

thanks

thanks

The advice is somewhat helpful. I'll remember the self hate thing.

I like the way you put things, thanks.

lol(: alrighty! Thanks!

i love that response thanks..but hes in the country and im in the city so its hard to go to his house, see his family much or randomly

lmao, I enjoy the fun and news ends of reddit. i stay far far away from the nsfw ends.

The advice was really good, and spoke from personal experoence.

Really thanks alot ,really so I've decided to buy an Intel i5 Processor, 500GB Hard Drive , 4GB of RAM , Video Card of 1GB , and with a Wireless ofcorse

My mom is a very religious person and would not only be mad at me but would be very hurt if she realized I was having sex. I don't want her to know to spare her feelings and our relationship. I was just wondering if they would ask those questions on the paperwork while I was in the waiting room with her.

thanks, deep down I was afraid of something like that. I just hope I'm strong enough to do it. If it was just another guy it wouldn't have been so bad, but he's truly one of the best people I know. Thank you for the honest advice!

i didnt have to change much but my openness. so that goes to show that have absolutely no idea what you are talkin about...and far as just puttin "a few measly paragraphs" and not actually tryin to help but try to make people more like you, show you dont need to give advice...offensive or not it had to be said...you sayin im not worth anything was more than an offensive statement...therefore i am now back o my account here, WITHOUT changing ANYTHING about my appearance and i have a girl that ive been with for 6 months now and we are stronger than ever. reevaluate your so called "advice" before you try to give it.

Haha thanks!

Thank you sooo much

Well said. Thank you much!

thanks:)

thanks (:

Im really sorry but i asked for advice on how to start my career...not your personal opinion on why police officers are corrupt. Heads up, my older brother is an officer and is most definitely not corrupt.

I know they disrespect their parents because one thing i do know how to keep up with these fucked up people, is facebook. They post crap like "my dad's an asshole, he took my phone away" or "I wish i had new parents, they grounded me." What I am saying is that, do you think people in Africa have time to worry about their phones? Cars/toys/tv/computer/ etc. I'm saying that this socal area is mainly materialistic, and there is NO WAY you can deny that. I'm not saying other countries are alot better at this materialism, but there is definitely a dent. And yes, you are right, the reason people are so messed up these days are because of our generation, and i am apart of it. Im not saying my age, but i am young, and i totally agreee with you. But i can say that i am better than this generation. And drinking? Defending drinking? Yeah, alcohol is not illegal, people drink it because they enjoy it. But when people treat it as a companion, then there is my problem with people. I went to high school here in socal, and maybe you have no idea what the people are like... they are not terrible, i will say that. But they act like they're in their 20s already: talking about weed, partying, getting wasted, fucking any guy they see. And i dotn exaggerate, i would never. Dont blame me for observing, and msot of what i said are just observations. I am not judging or trying to change the world, because people will be fucked up for aas long as they can live. I am just curious and observing how diseased the culture here is. I've been to many places, and there are people who know when to have fun, and when to act mature. But here, the majority are not driven, have no ambition, and just want to "kick it" and "have a good time" and "let loose" Bullcrap.

Wow. Thanks :) There's so much insight there. You've helped me a lot :)

Ok good to know, thanks!

Ok ya know what, you're right. It's not like i randomly brought the question up though, we were in a conversation about it. But you're right,2 months is like nothing at all and i'm stupid for asking. If i was him i'd probably say the same thing. Thanks xx

Thank you so much I will make an appointment and go from there.

I'm not asking for permission, but thank you for suggesting what you would do in my shoes. That's what I'm looking for.

Thank you! :)

It is not about being sexy. It is about feeling my best. I have gained weight and wanting to shed that weight does not mean that I have contorted views on what is considered beautiful. I am fully aware that beauty comes in all shapes and sizes, and I never claimed that I felt ugly. I would like to be in better shape (which is why I run), and feel better. I have been told that the master cleanse is good for your body becuase it flushes you out, and that it would help to shed some extra weight.

thank you so much! that was great advice. I like your story about your football experience haha.

THANK YOU. I know this is a delayed rating but you said exactly what I know now. I took time to think about it and he is far from what I want or deserve. I appreciate you taking the time to write all that and will hold on to that wisdom for a while. If I could give you a 10, I would:)

Unfortunately, lying is not an option with this company. It's actually a not-for-profit that lists its number one core value as "Honesty". XD I did get the job, though!

Great advice! Thank you :)

Thanks for the advice, it helped cool my nervous a bit.

Thank you, this helped loads... I guess you're right, I did screw it up. No big deal though, I'm not going to waste my time on something I messed up - Thanks for the future advice though!

Well when you put it that way... It kinda freaks me out... Haha. But thanks for the... Reality check? Haha I'll look into that

wow... that was probably the best answer i've ever heard. except now im completely torn! but thank you for giving me something to think about

ha ha, although some things said sounded negative towards me.. over all i appreciate it, i understand what you mean and like the other hundred times i told myself to get the pills i'll say it and try it again... thanks for the honesty... -Pearl101

i understand your point. it's just a difficult situation. I know and am very alert to the 'problems' but i am hoping that if him and i are to date or anything i'll be able to pus him back on his feet which i know i am 15 and i shouldnt have to worry about that but it's just who i am...i have helped a numerous amount of people get on their feet when they fall. Him and i were together last night at the beach and i just felt so extremely happy and i know he did to..

Thanks for your perspective. I welcome the opinions of others to help me get view the situation from a different light. Appreciate your time.

I think you were right. Thank you!

Thanks so much. Your answer was very specific and so well detailed. I will definitely use your advice. I appreciate it!

YES my parents are abusive. They have said before if they find out i am still with him that they will send me back to egypt. Mostly everything planned and i told my bf that he would be waiting outside my house at that time. And i would already have all my things packed and in his car when i tell my parents. With my brothers thou they already know him very well and they love him to death and i told them when i leave that they would keep contact with me and they promised me they will and love me very much. 9 and 14 is there age. i know that i should not be getting married at 18. But i need to leave this house. My parents abuse me and don't let me go out much at all. Only school and staying after school since my mom made me quit my job because my uncle saw me smoking a cig. I am not close with my mom at all. she tells my dad everything i would tell her and she is so fake with me. yes i have my american citizen i been here since i was a little girl. But i go to egypt almost every summer to see the rest of my family down there.

Thank you VERY much! She says "WE" don't need counseling "I" do, and she won't even consider it because she isn't "crazy" just me. I think I am going to counseling with or without her. Thanks for the advice, man, you really seriously help people here.

Good points, good points. I admit I really do despise shooting on horseback, I'm just such a klutz I'm scared I won't be able to get used to the Wii. At this point I think it's coming down to money, LOL--whichever is cheaper will be the one I get. Thanks for the answer. :)

Thank you soo much

Thank you. I really do appreciate your honest answer, and I'm starting to understand a little more. So hopefully you won't see me again on here crying about my lack off getting some. Once again, thank you.

i ended up leaving him, but its killing us both=\

I am sure you meant well, but I do not agree with any of this. 1. You may not know me, but you had access to talk to me. The difference between this site and say yahoo answers is that we are more of a community. I have been on here for many years as have you. Instead, you write a critique of my reply (since really, thats all it was) based on random second hand info off the net. 2. The one thing about the internet is that the complainers are normally heard. More than that, they often misrepresent the situation. The reason I responded was that the info you had was wrong, beyond the point of it being an opinion - it was just plain wrong. There is no "retraining", and there is very little to do that one is not paid for. Its not a question of it having worked out for me. I am not talking about personal likes and dislikes (I know several raters - most like it, one does not, but not for the reasons you listed). The system works a certain way and it is almost 100% automated - same rules for everyone, everywhere. Same department handling all raters, common email notifications, etc. It works exactly the same on my end as it works in the US or anywhere else. So when you are on the inside, you know the system, its the same for all. Experiences in this case cannot really vary all that much when it comes to how things work. I could have explained all this, and a heck of a lot more, if you had asked (good or bad). Could have helped to split fact from opinion, and maybe also a few blatant lies - like the notion that you get paid for one hour in three. Like I said, its a shame because this is what the user needed, and the situation now is grossly misrepresented.

ok thanks

Thank you witty, i always enojy your advice. I just am in so much pain thinking that he loves me and I him and every day that goes by i want to talk to him, tell him i miss him. But what will that accomplish? Nothing. I just dont know what to do to FEEL better....like tonight, i went out with friends, danced, but at the end of the night im still here thinking and crying about him. I dont know how not to! But you are completely right. Thank you so much!

Thank you :)

Thank you, I needed the harsh reality. He's 25 years old, and it's not that he's childish, but he doesn't know common sense shit. When you wipe off the table, you don't wipe it on the ground.

Thanks!

i wish i knew you in person. we could have a very long discussion about this, and you bring up some extremely valid points. the bible is bullshit. i feel like we're living in a world full of fear of whats real, so we turn to something unreal, like a big guy in the clouds who snaps his fingers and hey! there's a world. anyway, thanks for the insight :) its much appreciated

Did I say I was stupid? Of course I know there are a lot of pervs out there and I would never let my guard down unless I knew he wasn't one. I take note of EVERYTHING he says that may even RELATE to sex. I am a very together girl who watches to see if Any guys a perv or not, mature for his age, and if he is being honest. I question everything that he tells me. I've already had a lot of shit in my life so I don't need anymore. I really take pride in my life and don't just f it up like all these other teenagers I know. I was just thinking friends, then dating would be a gigantic leap for even me. Believe me, I AM a lot 'paranoid' about this kind of thing.. to answer my question: I was just wondering if age is always a problem

Thank you >.<

I'm guessing that if this does happen, we'll end up like you and your high school girlfriend. It'll probably end when college starts. But that's life right? Thank you.

thanks

Thanks! Your insight was dead on about what I was thinking. I am not bothered at all at him watching porn (as I do too lol) But I was merely curious as to why he does, compared to why I do. I suppose the best thing you said is that two partners are not completely compatible. Porn is an outlet to play out fanatasies that are uncompatible in the relationship. Very helpful! Thanks!

I think it's more than a "stupid, small lie" quite frankly. I know you have your own opinions, and that is fine, but I disagree with most of everything you say here. As the "2" rating goes: your advice isn't harmful, but it certainly isn't useful either.

At least I know we aren't the only ones now :) I'm guessing you mean I am going to school and work now, so I have to wait for school to be over to choose work and babies. Nice :) Anyways, thanks. What you said about marriage really makes sense.

Lol, thankyou. (:

Thank you. You help me a lot. I promise you I will talk to my school councilor.

Thanks, I know what you're saying hear. I would see a therapist but I just don't think my mom would go for it. To her I probably seem like a normal kid.. I think I do need to see someone not only about this but other things as well. I don't think think I can muster enough courage to go up to my mom and say "I need to see a therapist". For one I don't think she would and if she does I don't want to be a daughter like that one that isn't well in a way.. I don't want to disappoint her.

I appreciate your well-written opinion.

OMG! Thank you!!!

I dont appreciate the "you selfish sack of shit" part. Really. It was completely unnecessary. I know you're angry but come on. You can't possibly look at what you wrote and think you gave good advice to somebody who needs it, even if you don't agree with their previous actions. Get real here, man. You were better off just not answering if it made you that mad.

thanks so much :)

Thank you so much. I'll pass this on to my friend.

Thankss. Like I mean yhu obivously understand. Just my boyfriend's a douche bout it. & my bigsissy is a little over dramatic bout it. But I don't know what to do.

thanks for the advice

That is a great idea. Thank you so much for the help.

I don't think it is right to break up with a guy if his only fault is the music he listens to. He is an amazing, mature, loving boyfriend. I agree that metal is very "blah", but he truly would sacrifice his music for me anyday. So, I know we will find music that is right for both of us.

Thanks hun(:

thank you

Thank you so much.. you have a really good point.

That actually made me realize a lot... thanks o.o

thank u:)

Thank you for the advice! He came over tonight and we discussed it; he wanted to make it clear that he wasn't doing it just for my benefit, which made me feel a little more comfortable with it. We're gonna have a blast now that I know we're both doing this because it's something we're really into!

Rating changed by DN: Please consider that advice is not always something you agree with, however what you were told is true. If you change this rating back, your account will be closed. Original: Changed Haha your real funny dude this is an advice colum not a site to nag.

i never once told him he HAD to do anything? I mentioned it to him ONCE.. He keeps bringing it up and I said "its fine, we'll wait marcus" You're putting words in the mouth of someone whom you never meant and putting words into something that is written right in front of you? We did have an "honest" talk, I don't see where I put "We were yelling at each other, blah blah blah".. thanks though

Thank, that was really what I needed to hear.

You really helped me, but you kno whats weird? i did NOT add the "and i punish him" part, i swear. i dont know it was weird, i opened advicenators and i remember i only wrote "my pboyfrend wants his space? " i never said and i punishd him, i guess someone of my family probably did that to pss me off, but your righ, thanks so much for your help.. i appreciate it=)

thanks

hey there ! thank you for the advice but do you really think i should be good by friday ? it was only 3 to 4 blows ..i would think it wouldnt do anything to me but still...

totally not legal but i don't care cuz the sex is better than it was with the five boyfriends my own age and i am 13 and he is 33

Thank you so much for your help. Yeah we do live together. Moving out is a dream that isn't optional. The reason we were able to move away from the 'rents is because we agreed to living together. My parents both occupy "high publicity" lives so the crappy part is that i can't really enjoy a regular lifestyle where it's okay and expected for me to move out and start my own life... what is expected of me is to maintain status, discretion and reputation.... pretty much i'll have to go back and continue with the pretend life for their sake and for the sake of their image... as much as i hate it i accept it. my problem is i guess with myself. I feel lousy all the time. i know eventually i can control my partying but i won't be able to control how i feel. I just don't know how to get my sister to back off and let me do my thing before while i have the chance... She's already ruined things between mum and I, she's miserable and incapable of sleep... what do I do? do I bail on my friends? or do i continue lying and plotting and scheming??? All in good time i suppose... Thanks again for your input