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Should I forget about him?
I'm fourteen and I haven't started dating yet. I'm socially awkward and kind of shy (especially around boys, regardless of their attractiveness). I don't go to a traditional public school, so I rarely meet boys my age who would ask a girl out. But being a hopeless romantic, I dream of being in a relationship.
I recently went to a summer music festival for orchestral and chamber music where I met a guy who I really, really like. I can't stop thinking about him, even though we said goodbye a week ago. He doesn't like me back, not that way. He's eighteen and going to college next year. Since the world of professional orchestral musicians is so small, I thought I had a chance of playing with him again, but it turns out that he's not going into music. I might never see him again.
Should I try to get over him?
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Yeah, you should.
If you ever meet him again in the future, hey, maybe you flirt and see what happens. Don't count on it or try to figure out how to make it happen or anything like that. Just let it go and put him out of your mind until you stop missing him, not much else you can do. Distance sucks and you shouldn't consider getting into it at 14. Distance relationships are for adults with the ability to move across the country to make something work.
Work on just talking to guys. Lots of people are shy and socially awkward, even extroverts can be and often are. Just talk to them. We're really not a whole lot different from you, just taught different things about our identity by society.
A piece of advice. I'm in my late 20s. There are plenty of women my age who can't express themselves as coherently as you just did in this post. You are pretty far above the average in intelligence and perception.
Don't settle.
Speaking as someone of above average intelligence and perception, there are few things that suck worse than being in a relationship with someone 20 IQ points shy of being on level ground with you.
Be a hopeless romantic. Feel free to have fun, but pay attention to the people you date and don't commit unless you're dealing with someone you can hold an intelligent conversation with. Lots of guys are assholes. The percentage rises the lower down on the IQ chart you go. Men aren't exactly raised to be analytical critical thinkers and you shouldn't settle for someone who lacks the intelligence to rise above all that. You'll be a hell of alot more miserable than someone on his level would be.
I gave up on finding an equal and as a result it took me 28 years and a divorce to really find the right person.
Don't be me. Don't settle. You'll know if you are later in life.
Sorry that's alot to load on a 14 year old, but I wish someone had flicked me in the forehead and pointed this out when I was your age.
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Hey girl. :)
It's really hard to forget about someone you just met and liked. But since you just met and you only met for the first time, no way of contacting each other, I would say you have to move on. He is also 18, you're 14, it woudin't do any good though. I'm sure you will find a better guy, his out there, just don't fall inlove with the first guy you see. :)
Goodluck!
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This must be a hard situation for you to be in. But I do think it's best to try to get over him. Not seeing him will help get over him anyways, as long as you don't sit around and daydream about him.
Even if you were to get in contact with him, you said he's not interested in you in that way. Even if you were planning on dating him, you'd have to wait till you are older.
As long as you don't stress about finding a guy, you'll end up with someone eventually. I mean you are still young and the guys you date now, it's unlikely you'll be with them when you are older so just enjoy being young.
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I suggest getting his number (I'm a 14/f and the guy I like is 17) you can keep in contact and just 'be friends for awhile' and get to know him and he will get to know you. I hoped this helped :) From one Hopeless Romantic to another
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