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Q: How should I approach my girlfriend parents in wanting her back and everything back the way they were because we had a big fight and I shouldn't have involved them but I did and now they must think I am a monster but I am no where near. They think that she may be unsafe with me but only after one misunderstanding I am not normally like this I want to reassure them that I am her safety and I was under a lot of stress also but blew up on the wrong person
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You've gotta be honest here, guy, if you want a good answer: what happened, exactly?
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Q: is it staind or stainD? and how do you pronounce the name? (do the dictionary thing like: monkey: mun-kee) thankss.
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Just like you pronounce it when some band hasn't spelled it funny for artistic effect:
Stained.
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Q: im 15 years oldd and im 5'0/5'1. what's the average weight, like what number should i be around? thanks so much =]
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You should weigh about 110/115 lbs.
HOWEVER, people are built differently, and if you're a little heavier, but not so overweight as to cause health issues (115/120), you're just fine. :)
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Q: Last year at this summer camp i go to (im 13/f) i fell for this coach at my camp. obviously i couldnt get up the guts to talk to him. but i made it pretty obvious that i liked him. when he smiled around me i collapsed once. anyways the last week of camp it was really awkward around him. i mean REALLY baddddd. i have to go back this year and since its been awhile since we've even seen each other im afraid it'll be worse.
any suggestions on how to deal with this ??
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Hopefully you've gotten over him since, and if you haven't, you should.
You're way too young to be concerned about this stuff right now.
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Q: okay so im 15, in november i met this guy, lets call him jake. he was working and my friend is friends with him [jakes 17]. anyway so my best friend is friends with jake but hes never tried anything with her or anything so i know theyre just friends. anyway, he was working ad we walked by him and he texxted my friend saying "whos that girl your with" and my friend said "natalie, why" and he said "just wonderign". so they were texting and i was telling her that i think hes really hot and i wanna like get to know him. so while she was texting him her phone died and she asked me to text him from my phone and tell him that. so it exted him saying "hey this is natalie, kates friend, she said to text you and tell u that her phone died" and he replied saying "oh okk..guess ill have to text you now =)" so we started taklign then and we were texting all nightt. long story shortt, he made me a bet that if i wasnt at his work at 8:00 am the next morning i would have to kiss him. well, me and my friend forgot to wake up so we werent there the next morning. so that day we were texting a lot and he said i had to pay up and of course i wasnt complaining because i thought he was really cool and not to mention hott =] . so anyway, then that night he was asking me to tell him about myself and he was asking me my birthdayy, my friendss, my relationship statuss, all that stuff. so then i asked him the same questions. when i asked him if he was singlee he said 'as of a few hours ago', which means i agreed to kiss him while he had a girlfiend. but anyway, so this guy and i ended up kissing the next day and we were always texting. every time we saw eachother he kissed me hello and kissed me goodbye, and we hooked up a few times. he walked me to all of my classes and always texted me and everything. then he told me that he really liked me and i told him i liked him too. we had kind of a flirty relationship where i would text him with something like "heyy jerkk" and he would say "hey b*tch" or somethingg, but we knew we were just kidding around. so then there were rumors that we were dating but we weren't, we justs liked eachotherr and we kissed in schooland stuff. so then after like 3 months of this, we got in a big fight and didnt tlk for about 4 days. during the 4 days, my friend thats also friends with him told me that she was at his work again with one of our other friends and he texted my friend saying "whos that girl your with" and he started talking to that friend, and he said he would hook up with her. after our fight he still liked me and he said that he doesnt usually fall for girls like he fell for me and stuff. well, lately we've stopped talking and im almost positive he doesn't like me anymore, but i can't really stop thinking about him. everyone warned me about him and told me hes a player and be careful and that hes going to hurt me, but i believe him when he said he really was falling for meand stuff. i guess i was wrong about him but every time i see him i wanna talkt o him or kiss him but i dont. i really miss him a lot, but its over. does anyone have any advice for me? like how i can forget about him or maybe a way for him to start talking to me again without mentioning i miss him or like him or anything? thanks so muchh & sorry this was so long!
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... please read my column and the advice I've given others in similar situations.
This guy is a loser, plain and simple. You need to forget him and fast, and then focus on your future, not on dating.
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Q: ok so ive been dating my boyfriend for about 10 months. he has always been a fan of smoking weed and so am i so it was never a big deal. but now he smokes every day and likes to smoke before everything he does. its not affecting our relationship because he is never high when we hang out alone, only when we hang out with his friends in which case i smoke too and we have a great time. but for some reason lately it has started to bother me a lot how frequently he smokes even though it doesnt affect me in any way. i want to tell him this but if i do i feel like he wont understand if its not affecting me in any way why its bothering me. i dont even know why it bothers me so much! im very confused.
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A lot of your confusion will go away if you heed this one little gem of advice:
Stop smoking weed.
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Q: I know advicenators is starting to flood with all these love questions, (let alone long entries) and I always thought I would be the ONE exception. needless to say i am not. and i am quite an idiot (bare with me you'll see how ridicules my question is and agree with me)... and i am going to ask another dumb mind-numbing and empathy-absolving question... however, I am going to make a fool out of myself to be able to establish context (so this isn't going to be easy to write, again bare with me)....
SO... i am female. 23. Never had a "real" boyfriend. you can already tell how problematic this may be to any girl at this point in life....
I've had extensive "exposure" to various guys (mostly friends, but very seldom potential lovers that never really go anywhere beyond formalities- i.e he saw me i saw him, we smiled said hi spoke for ten mins, he decided something is wrong with me and moved on)...
that said I really like this guy, but we're from different worlds. I don't necessarily belong to a certain stereotype or category of society but i do sport a brow piercing, thick brown rimmed "art" glasses, majoring in the fine arts and philosophy, and usually can be found in my favorite sneakers (ripped mind you!) and jeans. when i am on campus i am not really THAT concerned with my attire (in so far as i look decent, but still comfortable) i can't walk in heels for the life of me no matter how much i try and have a horrible hair(short)cut due to a new hairdresser's experimental inexperienced hands... (it's not too bad -it looks like two versions of katie holm's hair: a shorter and even shorter version. and it can be disguised with a LOT of time, which i'd rather devote to an art project or paper) i do dress up when i go out (and i promise i look good because i certainly attract all sorts of men) i am kind of reserved though when it comes to that because they see me all powdered up and not when and how i look on a daily basis...
i am not saying i look terrible during the day i just don't look like a conventional long-haired light make up girl... I don't shop very much (being in art puts you on a tight budget) and i don't look horrible without it.....anyway i don't know if this affects how he sees me. he's a graduate student who works at the library, so he's around 3 years older... always dressed in pants (never jeans) has his shirt tucked in his pants (not geeky, more of a professional office look). the reason i like him was because we had a couple of conversations all academia related and he really has a beautiful mind (maybe my philosophy part talking!)...
anyway, i know there is something there, at least i know he knows i like him, we always exchange looks but he breaks them, he smiles if we're face to face and he's very sweet (a reputation that others certainly don't attribute to him) when/if i decided i really really need help with something and I HAVE to ask him, no one else.... my friends tell me i should pretend to need something and talk to him, but i don't know how (i am not good at coming up with "something" without the risk of sounding redundantly fake)... but i really like him and i am even considering changing my look a little (as ridiculous as this may sound) to reel him in with some feminine mystique.... i am not as boring as my writing, i am usually very cheerful and "normal" face to face and not what you would call "socially impaired" (i would contest otherwise! lol)
I guess after this book-long entry (apologies!) .. what I am trying to know basically, since i lack the amorous skills that others seem to have, and since my social skills don't really reflect me (as my boring writing does) how do i, under this situation, act? what should I do? i don't want to pretend i am something i am not... and I AM NOT COURAGEOUS ENOUGH TO be the one who takes the first move. should I just ignore it? and how do I do that with out eliminating the library from my end of semester hot-spots.... i am starting my masters next term, and will probably be seeing more of him.... help!
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A lot of the advice I'd give you I've already covered in my column. Maybe if you give some of my answers a read, they'll help. Also, I'd rather not type all that again. ;)
However, with the stuff that deals with you specifically, I'll delve a bit:
I know how you feel, being an "older" woman just getting into "dating". I too grew up an introverted, artsy "I'd rather focus on my future than on you hormonal dirtbags" kind of girl. Also, I didn't bother dating until I was twenty-three, and I too share your "short-haired and mousy until I dress up" look.
However, take hope! There ARE guys out there who are attracted to short-haired girls with brains, and not just long-haired girls whose chests are padded with the matter which might have been intended to fill their empty skulls.
This is echoing my previous advice a bit, but it bears repeating:
Be yourself! Stay true to yourself, and don't change just to attract some guy. If you do, then he won't know you for who you are and you'll face endless headaches down the road.
Also, if you like him and he isn't going to make the first move, be direct, open and honest. Guys like that. Maybe it doesn't go against your nature -- maybe just the standard, "giggly female moron trying to flirt" thing does.
Anyway... read my column, like I said. I really hope it helps you.
Best of luck!
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Q: When guys get into high school, are they all perverts? Do they change or what?
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Here's the uninteresting, quasi-scientific answer:
Men are biologically programmed to think more about sex than women. That's why they all do (whether they admit it or not). It's a procreation instinct meant to keep the human race going.
In high school, most guys aren't mature enough to keep that to themselves. They have no self-control, and usually aren't raised with a lot of morals, values and respect. Thus, rather than just thinking about it constantly, they TALK about it constantly.
If my son did that, I'd crack his skull.
As guys get older, some of them gain that maturity (through being dumped or ignored by more intelligent women).
And that is why all guys are perverts, but some of them have the decency to keep quiet about it.
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Q: 17/f
I met my current boyfriend two months ago but we have only been dating for a few days now. I am a virgin (prior to meeting my boyfriend I was too busy to care about serious relationships and didn't want to have sex with someone I was casually dating). My boyfriend is not a virgin.
We have been teasing each other since the moment we met so the sexual tension is hardly bearable. I feel obligated to wait until we take things to the next level. On the other hand, I had been hoping to be single when I start university in the fall (I could change my mind) - regardless, I want us both to enjoy however long we get to spend together.
What wins out? Feeling obligated to wait or enjoying the potentially short time we have?
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Okay... no offense to the person who gave the advice, but "It is ohkay to do it if and ONLY IF you do not get attatched" is THE WORST advice you could possibly get. There's no point to it if you're not ALREADY attached.
Not to mention, you're a woman, and he's a man, and you know what that means: if something happens, if you get pregnant, if you catch something from him, he can happily wave bye to you and his obligations. Then you're left with bills, responsbilities and regret.
That's why I strongly feel like women should never, ever fold to pressure from a guy who wants to fool around.
If he wants to have sex, and he's not willing to wait until you're in a serious, commited, meaningful relationship, it means he does not love you. Maybe he thinks he does. Maybe he SAYS he does, but I assure you (I know, I'm older than these guys AND I'm married), he does not.
And two months? Date for a year, if you want to keep him. You can't know him until you've seen him in every possible situation. He's still showing off his peacock feathers and hiding his faults to keep you around.
If you can't enjoy your time together without sex, he's not worth it.
Enjoy your life. Start your career. Get your feet under you and make sure you can support yourself before you get tied up with someone.
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Q: Ok. So im Around an age where About all the kids at my middle school have already amde out. Well im the only person that hasnt. I feel so stupid. I mean i know my bf wants to but i seriously dont know how! If someone could atleast explian to me How. I mean I know thres tounge and Stuff. Ha(; Thansk!
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Truth is, not all the kids at your middle school HAVE "made out", and the ones who actually have are the ones who should feel stupid.
From what I've seen on this site so far, I seem to be one of the oldest "columnists", so trust me: if you're more focused on your future, your education, and learning about life, you're ahead of these kids who obviously aren't thinking at all.
Please decide to be ahead of the curve. There are more important things in life -- and later on, when you're prepared to deal with relationships and sex (after you can support yourself, and not rely on these scumbag guys to keep you and whatever children you may end up having alive), you'll be glad you did.
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Q: Ok so im pretty average weight and i have a flat stomach its just not tight, and im really self consious about it and i was wondering what are the best ways to get a flat stomach pretty fast? Any ideas would be great! thanks =]
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Tens of thousands of crunches.
Lie flat on your back with your hands behind your head (like in a sit-up), contract your ab muscles, then rise up until you feel those muscles burn. Hold the position for five seconds, lie back, relax the muscles, and repeat.
I do this endlessly in the Army. Trust me, it works.
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Q: well i will go into more detail . i am 14 andso is he we met in grade 7 because he waas in my class.. that year we were friends but no really good friends.. i havent talk to him in a while and about in november i liked him and everyone found out and someone made up a rumor about me wanting him in a tub of pudding! and that was about a month ago and then i stopped liking him and while i stopped liking him i talked to him but now i like him again and every time i pass him in the hallway i get all nervous ... (btw hes sorta a pussy and he wont talk to me) and when i liked him before he told his friend hje doesnt really talk to me and he doesnt know me but now that i like him again only a couple people know .. so i how do i go and talk to him? do i come open and tell him i like him or hes attractive or do i give flirty hint or should i just talk? and how do i go up to him and start the convo because i think im gunna do it but when ever i see him i bail because im scared.. and hes not even intimidating hes like 5 foot 1' and im like 5 feet so its not that bad but its just how i feel.. and how do i start the convo??
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Okay. First of all, the best thing to do is to pull back from this situation and look at it objectively (without your emotions clouding the issues).
What is it you want, exactly? Are you looking for a relationship with this guy, or just companionship?
Really, at fourteen the best thing is to focus on your goals and the kind of future you want to have. If you're looking for companionship, I say make friends. A relationship at a young age is always a mistake.
I've discussed this topic before, so I'll just quote myself instead of typing it again:
"This time in your life should be for you. It should be about having fun, about enjoying your friends, and about learning -- about relationships, life, and whatever goals you have for the future (and if you don't have any goals, you should definitely be focusing on those instead).
You do not want to get into a serious relationship when you're young, and here's why:
Women need to be independent. Make sure you've got a good education and a stable job. If you don't, you'll be at some guy's mercy, and when he does something stupid, you'll be back at square one and trying to figure out how to support yourself (and your kids, should you choose to have them).
If you still want to get into a committed relationship, then make sure you know this guy.
Date him for a year or more (I'm not kidding).
Observe the way he treats you, his family, and strangers. Make sure you pay attention to what he DOES, and not what he SAYS. People are always perfect when they're trying to get you to go out with them.
Also, be yourself. Talk to him. Tell him what you think, how you feel, and don't feel obligated to change for him. If he doesn't like the way you look when you're not dressed up, if he doesn't talk to you when you're not in the best of moods, you're not compatible.
Be genuine, and you will only attract people who like you for you."
Really though... if he isn't talking to you, he probably just isn't interested. Maybe he's focusing on his own life right now, and hasn't given much thought to relationships. At that age, a male is unlikely to be considering a "real" relationship at all, and you'll only come away from this with heartbreak.
Whatever you decide to do, good luck.
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Q: how should i do my make up with my new hair? and ways to play around with my hair to make it look pretty??
here's a picture for reference:
http://i229.photobucket.com/albums/ee233/danielajocabed31/100_1222.jpg
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As a painter, I know that people's opinions on what "looks good" vary greatly.
However, you're very pretty, and I'm sure you could pull off just about any look you want. :)
A good site for deciding on makeup and hair styles and/or colors is:
http://www.taaz.com/
Have fun.
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Q: well at the moment i have a slight cold so i dont know if this has anything to relate to this but i am F/18 and on my left brest i have this slight pain that feels like it is behinde it a bit so it isnt the actual brest itsself it gust feels like it hurts, i know thought it'll go away soon cuz i've gotten this pain b4 but its bothing me when eve i get it because i think it may be something serious??? could it be?
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At eighteen years of age, this could indeed be very serious.
Your body has either stopped developing or will very soon, so pain in the chest is something you should always see a doctor about.
Even some very young women (between the ages of fourteen and sixteen) find breast lumps and need surgery to have them removed immediately.
Please, please seek help.
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Q:
Ok, I haven't told anybody this...
It's hard to even write on the net, even though I
don't know any of you.
Here gos.
When I was 7, my uncle molested me.
I didn't tell anybody because I was ashamed, scared,
embarrassed, the list gos on!
I want something to be done about it.
Now that I'm older, and I could take it if he beat
me up, I've had my share of fights...
Actually, many people's share of fights.
But that's beside that point...
I want him to go to jail or something.
How do I know he isn't out there fuckin' molesting
some other poor soul. I don't want anybody else
to go through what I did.
So, if I told somebody, would they do something
about it, even though it's been years since it
happened??
I need to know, because if it's too late, I don't
want to go to the cops and tell them if they can't
do anything about it.
Advice?
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First off, I'm so sorry this happened to you, and that you've been struggling with it alone for so long.
Rest assured that speaking up is the best thing you can do, because you're right: you never know who else may suffer because of this man's lack of self-control.
In fact, if you keep this in mind, it may help the healing process.
Also, if your family is supportive, you should speak to them about what happened. Start with the parent who isn't blood-related to your uncle, if possible.
As for legalities:
Whether you can still press charges against your uncle depends on your state.
Do a Google search for this:
"name of state" + "statute of limitations on child molestation"
I found this on TheLaw.com forums:
"In general, the statute of limitations for rape or sodomy felonies is five years from the date the crime was committed. For misdemeanors (sexual contact without consent) the statute of limitations is two years from the date the crime was committed.
Since Legislature realized that young children who are victims of sexual crimes might not be apt to report them, the law was changed in 1996 to "toll" the statute of limitations or delay the clock from running until the child turned 18 or until the crime was reported to the police or Statewide Central Registry, whichever occurs earlier. So for example, if a crime occurred in 1997 then the parents of a ten-year-old child have 13 years (until 2010) to report and prosecute this crime if it�s a felony and 10 years (until 2007) to report and prosecute if it is a misdemeanor."
It may not be (and probably isn't) the same in every state.
Nevertheless, even if nothing can be done to your uncle, you still need to speak up -- suffering in silence is a damaging thing.
Best of luck.
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Q: So i'm really Into writing and Its very deep and important for me. I was wondering if there was any sites where writers can talk and share there writing It would mean a ton to me =] please && thanks!!!
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HubPages.com is an awesome community.
You can also find a lot of really helpful information there on just about anything you can imagine.
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Q: what is your take on strippers do you think their trashy or do you have any level of respect for them?
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I respect strippers because you should respect all human beings.
That said, I don't think anyone should ever be a stripper. It's immoral and quite frankly disgusting.
I disrespect the choice and the act, not the person.
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Q: do you believe in soul mates? why or why not?
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Yes, I do.
My parents are proof that soul mates do exist. They met, fought like cats and dogs for a week because neither of them wanted to get married again, and then they got married.
They've been together for many, many years, and there is no sign of their relationship ending any time soon.
They face tremendous hardships and they always persevere.
However, I also believe that relationships between "non-soul mates" are workable... they just require a little more work. :)
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Q: 16/f
lately i have been thinking about what career i want.i want to something that helps others, to tell you the truth, money doesn't concern me too much.That point of view may change as i get older, but i don't really think so.i've never really been in things for just the money. but aNyWaY... what i have been motivated to do is help people in other countries.one night i just thought about it and looked up some pictures and, the pictures actually made me cry.these situations that people in other countries are in for some reason really get to me and touch me in a way that nothing ever has before. to think that i am so fortunate to take a hot shower at night, or go out for dinner and party when these people can't even feel safe where they live because their back yard is a battlefield makes me feel so angry.I know people can only do so much to help, but i have decided that i want to be one who tries.I would like to become a form of nurse,then eventually put in an application to "Doctors without Borders". I know i have a hell of a long way before this actaully happens, so i wanted to know what others think about this plan.I want to do it, and i know if i try it will happen. the only thing my home.My dad can barely take it if i'm more than a couple hours away from home, hell, if i ever went somewhere like Africa for a year I honestly think he would get sick while i was gone.NO JOKE.Part of me wants to do this for the lives of others, the other part can't bare the thought of family worrying over me. I feel soo tied down. i know this is probably way over the top because this hasen't even happend yet and i'm only 16, but i've just been thinking about it lately. what do you think?
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You sound like a very caring, intelligent young woman, and that's very refreshing.
I commend you on your desire to make the most of your life by helping others.
I can assure you that if you want to be a nurse and join Doctors Without Borders, it'll happen. Everything is more or less dependent on how much you want it and how much effort you're willing to expend in getting it. I'm living proof that you can do anything you set your mind to, even if others may be skeptical.
I think, since you are only sixteen, the best thing to do is focus on the here and now. Put that positive energy and desire to help into taking care of your own. It might show you just how much you can take when it comes to giving of yourself, and shape your future goal.
However, when the time comes to go to school and prepare for your career in nursing, you've got a decision to make: if your father's condition hasn't improved (and I sincerely hope that it does, as I'm very sorry he's not well), you may want to stay and care for him. You can still become a nurse and help people. You don't have to be in Africa to have an impact on the world around you... and if you'd still like to help out in other countries, you can always donate to charities that provide food, shelter and education.
If you still want to go, you have to be sure you can deal with leaving. You won't be at the top of your game if you're always worried about the situation back home.
Best of luck.
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Q: I recently have had several trips to the doctors due to my SEVER back pain. I have gone to the kyropractor my regular docto had xrays and today went to a physicle therepist. she ran a bunch of tests on me. She didnt come up with the idea that i had MS but after talking with her I Have a feeling its a good possibility i do.
I've done my research looking up symptoms online and I fall under several of them almost all! I don't know what to do Im young and Im scared. Im going to bring it up to my doctor when i visit in a fiew days but I feel like doctors never believe me even when im right.
If someone with MS could possibly speak with me or tell me what to do or anything id apriciate it
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I don't have MS myself, but I've got PLENTY of experience when it comes to injuries, back pain, and moronic doctors who refuse to listen to reason.
First of all, do not let your doctor call the shots. You said you're young, but that doesn't mean it isn't your body. It doesn't mean that someone else knows your pain better than you do.
If they refuse to do testing you feel is necessary, stand your ground (unless the risk of the procedure is greater than the risk posed by not having it done).
If you really think this is MS, you need to be referred to a neurologist for testing.
The problem with doctors is that they are some of the most devout believers in the concept of CYA: Cover Your Ass. You'd think this would make them more thorough and efficient, but in fact it makes them exactly the opposite. They have to answer for their mistakes, and answer well, so they tend not to do much of anything.
They most often refuse to take risks based solely on what a patient says, so print out the information you found on MS and highlight your symptoms.
Do not let your doctor rush you out of the office. Stay put, voice your opinion, and make sure you're comfortable with whatever is suggested.
Also, try not to worry too much. It could turn out to be something less serious, and then you'll have made yourself sick worrying for no reason.
If it turns out you're right, then trust that God is looking out for you and has a plan.
I wish you the best of luck.
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Info
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Member Since: March 17, 2009 Answers: 72 Last Update: March 30, 2009 Visitors: 11866
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