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Sex too soon?
17/f
I met my current boyfriend two months ago but we have only been dating for a few days now. I am a virgin (prior to meeting my boyfriend I was too busy to care about serious relationships and didn't want to have sex with someone I was casually dating). My boyfriend is not a virgin.
We have been teasing each other since the moment we met so the sexual tension is hardly bearable. I feel obligated to wait until we take things to the next level. On the other hand, I had been hoping to be single when I start university in the fall (I could change my mind) - regardless, I want us both to enjoy however long we get to spend together.
What wins out? Feeling obligated to wait or enjoying the potentially short time we have?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Okay... no offense to the person who gave the advice, but "It is ohkay to do it if and ONLY IF you do not get attatched" is THE WORST advice you could possibly get. There's no point to it if you're not ALREADY attached.
Not to mention, you're a woman, and he's a man, and you know what that means: if something happens, if you get pregnant, if you catch something from him, he can happily wave bye to you and his obligations. Then you're left with bills, responsbilities and regret.
That's why I strongly feel like women should never, ever fold to pressure from a guy who wants to fool around.
If he wants to have sex, and he's not willing to wait until you're in a serious, commited, meaningful relationship, it means he does not love you. Maybe he thinks he does. Maybe he SAYS he does, but I assure you (I know, I'm older than these guys AND I'm married), he does not.
And two months? Date for a year, if you want to keep him. You can't know him until you've seen him in every possible situation. He's still showing off his peacock feathers and hiding his faults to keep you around.
If you can't enjoy your time together without sex, he's not worth it.
Enjoy your life. Start your career. Get your feet under you and make sure you can support yourself before you get tied up with someone.
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Everyone is different when it comes to the situation of your "first time."
Some people want it to be extremely special. Meaning, they want it to be someone WORTH giving such a special gift to. Determining if that special someone is special enough takes time, which is why a lot of people wait till marriage.
Then others don't see sex that way. They see it as "Well, as long as you use protection, your fine, have fun! ;)" lol
Either way is ok. I don't know if you'd call this advice per say, but I'm the first type :)
Just think about. And also remember just about every single relationship who has sex too early in to it, ends soon.
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Right now, you need to evaluate the situation. Sex is fun, healthy, and very enjoyable. It is ohkay to do it if and ONLY IF you do not get attatched. I think that you should explain your desire of wanting to be single for when you go off to University. If he understands and still wants to have sex with you, then great ! If not, then you just saved both of you a heartbreak.
But before you worry about breaknig his heart, you need to focus on yourself. Since you are a virgin, your first time and the first partner that you haev is always going to be special to you. You need to make sure that you are an emotionally strong enough person to be able to let go of the memory if things turn our sour between you.
There is always another solution besides sex. There are other ways that you could fool around. Oral sex is a great alternative to intercourse. It's not as emotionally connecting and it'll relieve the "need" you both have.
Take care and I wish you the best of luck!
Please drop me something ni my inbox if you'd like further help!
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You need to know yourself really well before you take the next step.
Are you going to look back and regret not waiting for a more solid/stable relationship? Or is virginity something that isn't of great emotional value to you - and you happily will accept this as your 'first' experience?
Either way. Don't do this out of obligation or because it is 'hard for him to wait' because 'he isn't a Virgin'. Boo hoo for him. This is your body, your decision. If he hits the road earlier than expected because you won't put out, wave bye!
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in my opinion it depends whats more important to you.some people care about sex and want to wait for a special moment with someone you love but if you dont mind loosing it to someone you no you may not b with for a long time then go for it..hes probibly waiting to have sex with you since hes done it before its abit hard for him to wait because hes tried it if that makes since. but go for it if virginity isnt an improtant thing for you xox hope it helped
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