Never! Well, it seems that way. Most women will gain weight with age or pregnancy and their shoe size increases. You really don't even finish developing until after highschool.

At your adult age it is very strange that you would prefer to hang out with or have anything in common with children who are 14. You are an adult, and these are children. You are an ADULT and these are CHILDREN. Okay? You will go to jail if you even get caught with the intent of having any kind of sexual activity with anyone under 18yrs old. You will have to register as a sex-offender and it will haunt you and affect your life wherever you go. No more potential for great jobs or girlfriends when they find out you are a predator. I find it very hard to believe your intentions are 100% innocent. Why don't you have friends your age? If you are drinking or doing drugs with any of these kids you will also be in huge trouble and looking at jail time for corrupting minors. Avoid hanging out with the children at all costs. You need to do a lot of growing up emotionally and mentally if you think it is normal or good to hang out with kids. At age 16, I was worlds apart from the 14 year olds, and at 20, I was worlds apart from 18 year olds! That is normal. How you are living is not! This may sound harsh, but it is exactly what will save you from ruining your life, so wise up and grow up. You are a 20 year old man. Start acting like one and stick to friends and girlfriends that are over 18 years old and out of highschool. Your life will benefit from doing what is right and becoming more mature.

Oh no you didn't! Sweetie, you are still a baby yourself and I don't mean that as an insult. I can't believe you are even having sex at your young tender age. Definately you are not ready and neither is he. It would be totally irresponsible and unloving to purposely bring an innocent child into the world right now. You are not even adults yourselves and cannot parent a child. You need to get on birth control right away if you are having sex. Your boyfriend is romanticising the idea of a baby and it is a way that he is trying to control you never leaving him. There is no way you are going to ruin your life by giving in to his silly immature desires. You know that the child you have deserves the best from you and deserves to have parents that are adults, responsible, financially secure, and many other things that would benefit your baby. You also deserve to have the rest of your youth and enjoy your highschool years unburdened by the demands of giving birth and raising a child, being up all night, huge bills and expenses, and no time for you or your boyfriend to even spend together. The reality of having a baby is totally opposite from the romantic fantasy. Your boyfriend may not mentally be aware of any of this, but you need to be. You deserve to graduate highschool, get a college degree, have a career of your choice, an independent life, and fun as a young adult. A child would absolutely ruin your life right now in ways you could not imagine. Yes, you would love the child, but it would not be loving to create a child until you have created a loving, stable, adult, secure, ready environment. If you really want to make a child out of love, then love yourself, and your future child now enough to wait!!!

The safety of your child must come first no matter what. Is there anywhere else your child can stay during your work hours just temporarily until the people move out of your place? Or, perhaps a friend you trust to come and stay during the day with your child at your place for a while? There is NOTHING more important than the safety of children and you have an obligation as a mother to put your child first, even if it means your man will be upset. There may even be a way to get these people out of your house that we don't know about, but you could talk with the police about your options and concerns and they may be able to give you help or point you to temporary free child care. You should always have an equal say in the decisions that you and your man make together. He does not get to decide for himself and ignore you or the safety of your child. Child abuse is a huge problem and too common! If there are drugs or any illegal activities in the home, then you are putting the child at risk for much harm and possibly the child could be taken away from you. Get help immediately if anything like this is going on. You and your child deserve a safe and healthy loving environment free from harm. This is of great concern to me. Keep me posted.

It may mean she is feeling overwhelmed and needs some breathing room. She does not sound like she appreciates you or the amount of attention you are giving her. My advice is to be a bit less available and touchy-feely. This relationship needs room to breathe. Don't break-up, just be less intense. She could have been trying to tell you something else by her comment, but I don't want to make assumptions. Girls think out loud a lot more than guys do. We are great communicators, too great at times! In the future, the best way to clear up something a girl says is to ask her why she feels that way. Girls sometimes just want to tell you about a feeling, but are fishing for you to ask. Your girl may be afraid to come out and tell you to back off a little. Girls love a little mystery!

When he says that he misses you, what do YOU say? That would be a great time to declare your true feelings. If you want to get back with him then tell him. Are you afraid of getting rejected again? Get over it, because you have to know one way or another! Is he someone you really want to get back with or are you only remembering the good times? You may find that only a friendship is possible right now. There are many people in the world that we have connections of love with, but that does NOT mean that we should be together or that they would make a great boyfriend or spouse. Kind of heartbreaking that he can't be everything you need, but that is life. 75% of a good thing is not the same as 99.9% of one! No one is perfect, but we have to keep some standards. If this guy hurt you or cheated on you, then chances are he would again. You don't have him to lose, so be honest with him, but don't do it without really being honest with yourself first. What would be pathetic is missing other dating opportunities to wait around every three weeks for this guy, if he does not want to get back together and really make it work this time.

Ask some guys out! It should not always depend on the guy doing all the risk-taking. Sometimes really great gals get past up because of shyness, so take a chance and see what happens. Make it casual and go as friends. This will be less intimidating for everyone. The point is to go and have fun. Lots of people like to go as a group of friends and forego the whole pressure of having to show up as couples only. Find some guys and gals that want to go as friends or start asking some cute guys to go! Whatever happens, you need to keep trying.

It is good advice to exchange one habit or obsession with another. You can also stop if you want to...the problem is we usually don't really want to stop what we get pleasure from...anyway, the trick is to stop the pleasure first, and then the habit will lose it's power. How you lose the pleasure of the crush and the whole fantasy surrounding it, is to interject reality into the fantasy. Fantasy is what makes this crush so exciting and so hard to let go of. If you actually got together with this person and saw all the daily problems and faults and boring stuff then it would not be so wonderful. This has to be a choice on your part to remind yourself of all the unsavory things whenever your mind begins to create this fantasy that you enjoy. Fantasy is a fiction, but why you made it up contains some truth about what you are missing in your life. Ponder what you really need and are getting from the fantasy and then think about a way to get what you need from your real situation. I am guessing you are in a committed relationship and have a crush on someone else. These things happen easily when we are not content in our relationships and are not doing anything about it. Put your focus on your real life, and though it is less fun at first, you will realize that real joy can be created. Fantasy is tempting because it is the easy path, but like doing a drug, it is a temporary fix that leaves you even more discontent with reality the more you indulge in the escape. "Go ask Alice, I think she knows..."

Everyone is looking for some kind of validation. It could be that this person has trouble getting the kind of validation they want or it could be that they have a problem accepting that other's have different values from their own. If you have been a good friend and listened and tried to be understanding without judging then all you can do now is try not to encourage the subject. You could say, "Wow, you still seem to be very bothered by this and it is still really something you are carrying around with you, that must be a huge burden." Maybe they will realize that it is their choice to carry that emotional burden past what is good for them. Everyone has trouble in some area, so try to be supportive of the person but not their unhealthy habits. Good luck!

Obviously, the answers are going to depend on whom you ask. The best way to define anything is to research for yourself and to decide for yourself. We all reach our own conclusions. I too, have had very dear Mormon friends and for that matter friends of a multitude of religious backgrounds and beliefs. It should not affect your friendship! However, if someone is pressuring you to believe as they do, it is not a good friend. Friends accept one another for who they are and do not judge. To me a cult is any organization in which groupthink overcomes individuality...most organizations are susceptible to this groupthink phenomenon. Do yourself a favor while you are young, and only think for yourself. Question everything!!! No two people agree on everything, and if they do, there is something very wrong with them. We are humans, and our individuality is what makes us special. Don't ever trade that in for so called acceptance into any group...that would be cultish. Remain stubborn and critical of everything anyone tries to tell you as "the truth"...which is just their idea of what their truth at that moment is for them. Keep an open mind and heart, but never stop learning or questioning. Life is not supposed to be easy to figure out, and the universe is an amazing mystery. If it were simple, then it would not be so incredible. Your life is a journey, not a destination, so never settle for anyone else's conclusions.

First, it would be wishful thinking to assume he is only sexual with you. She may or may not be as sexual as you were, or it may just be a matter of time. Guys can get horny over just about anything, so you probably are in there somewhere, but not at the top of the list or thought of in a romantic way. Sorry, but guys are much more cold and less romantic about sex. It seems you are not over him and part of this is because you shared your body with him. Women are much more vulnerable during sexual activity emotionally and physically. Chemically our brains are wired to connect on a deeper level than the boys. So, if you are having a hard time accepting this, I suggest waiting for real love the next time you get sexual with a guy. If you are young it will be a long time before you find a guy who will commit and not just want to fool around with you and any other gal. Sorry, reality sometimes bites.

Sorry, I don't. I do know that you should not ignore anything and need to schedule an appointment with a physicain right away. At least call the advice nurse.

Sometimes it is a way of breaking up with someone without getting into a fight. Maybe they feel guilty about their selfishness, but instead of changing, they opt for releasing the burden of having someone in a relationship to be accountable to.

First, I know that you are struggling to keep your head above water right now and that you are tired. What you think might save you from the struggle is to give up and let yourself drown. Yet, you are hoping that a lifeboat comes by and you are shouting out, whispering at times for help. Your boss may or may not realize how much you are in turmoil and need help. The world may not see you in the vast ocean of life. But you have been heard. There is a force inside you that is determined to survive. Listen to THAT voice. If I threw you a rope would you grab it? The problem is not that no help exists, the problem is that you are tired and not sure how to grasp the help and pull yourself up from the depths you have become accustomed to. You are wise to ask for help. You obviously have strength within and just need faith enough to let go of the thread you have been hanging by, and grasp the rope. Are you ready to get help? Rest will not be experienced in Death. Death is not a place of peace. To experience real peace and rest one needs to be alive and have experienced victory over struggle. You can do this. The universe is pulling for you and I am pulling for you. No, you do NOT deserve pain or horrible thoughts. You have no right to judge yourself. Did you hear that? That voice of criticism you have been hearing that tells you I am wrong? That is not your voice. That is someone else's voice and they are WRONG, they are LIARS. The truth is that you are human, like me and not perfect, but completely worthy and loveable. First, love yourself enough to decide to take one step toward saving your soul. The rest will follow. Call one of the many helplines available to you, get some counseling, maybe offered through work? Talk to your boss directly, and call any friend, family menmber or healthy adult that you can and ask them for support in your taking positive steps. Community services through churches and other non-denominational facilities are available. Start with a phonebook. Keep me posted. I am here with you.

http://www.coolnurse.com/hymen.htm

Go to this really awesome and educational site to learn all you want to about the wonderous hymen.

I have no way of really knowing if this girl might have taken an interest in you, and neither do you until you try. Call her, keep it simple and sweet and give her your number. Then move on. If she wants to call she will, and if not, then no big deal. By the way, looks only get you so far with a girl anyway! Girls look for much more in the way of charm, confidence, kindness and attention from a guy. Don't ever let your assesment of your looks hold you back! There are hot guys that once they start talking begin to look less hot, and average looking guys that begin looking irresistable when we get to know them. Focus on being a hot guy on the inside, that is where it counts.

You can like him, but think about the fact that he is not very commited to his girlfriend if he is also leading you on. Be careful, because you don't want to end up the next girlfriend only to find out he goes around flirting behind your back, too. If he breaks up with her to pursue you, then at least he is being honest about who he is choosing, but don't let him have his cake and eat it, too. In other words make sure you never settle for being on the side, the other woman, or second choice! There are millions of cute guys in the world if he does not work out.

This is the experience of YOUNG love, infatuation, romantic first love...passionate, new, energizing, all-consuming. It feels like nothing else, and you should enjoy it. Just put it in your brain somewhere, that back on Earth, when you eventually come out of the clouds, you will be left with any consequences of the actions you take while love-drunk. Be in love, but be smart, too.

You will get through this, and you will get to a better place. We all go through very dark times in our lives. Sometimes people appear happy all the time, but no one can be happy all the time. It sounds like you have had many disappointments with friends, and don't see the point of trying harder. Well, in a way, you are right. Trying harder to do something does not always produce the right result. It is like trying to force the wrong key into a lock. We end up with wasted effort and maybe breaking the key in the lock. What I am saying is that you need to focus your energy and attention where you can get the results you need. Friends are just humans with problems and shortcomings like us. They will always disappoint and that is where we have a choice. We can choose to end every relationship that does not meet our high standards, or we can choose to show a little mercy and forgive that person for being human...just like we are. A wonderful thing happens when we show others a little grace and mercy...we begin to show it to ourselves, too! We actually feel better about ourselves when we are kind to others. You cannot hate others without it harming yourself the most, and you cannot love others without loving yourself. You have very high expectations of yourself...too high! You are fine the way you are, you are human, you are young, you are learning, growing, changing, improving, taking steps to a healthy happy you. It does not happen all at once and no one else can or should do it for you. You alone have the power within to take the first step toward loving and accepting yourself. You do this, and the world will respond, the world will look and feel more beautiful to you. The choice to feel happy and loved is yours to make...it takes a little faith, but you only have to ask to receive blessings from the universe.

This is very serious, and you have to call the police. He could do something to hurt you if you don't. Please be careful and get some help.

"Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person they are almost indistinguishable. To say something you value deeply to another and to have him or her value it equally by listening to it carefully and apppreciatively is the most universal way of exchanging social interest or demonstrating affection." David Augsburger, CARING ENOUGH TO HEAR AND BE HEARD.


All sincere persons will be given thoughtful examination and reply. Please be specific about your situation as it applies to your question, the applicable information and facts necessary for me to properly assess your situation and give you the benefit of my knowledge and experience, which includes: experience/education with mentoring, relationship study, self help, spirituality, poetry, literature, philosophy, psychology, color theory, teaching, parenting, and debate that will be used to your advantage. I am concerned with offering an objective and realistic perspective more than ratings, because this will help YOU. Artificial sweetness is found in diet soda, not in my advice. If you feel that I did not understand your question or need more specifics to help, please let me know, but while all truth is subjective, questioners should be mature enough to hear answers not necessarily agreed with. If you are only looking for someone to tell you just what you want to hear, then you may not be ready for my advice. I believe in personal responsibility, self and other awareness and your power and ability to recreate and redirect your own life. All our misery and joy begins and ends within ourselves, but our willingness to be open can bring the positive or negative energy we seek. If you or someone you know is open to positive help, the resources and caring individuals needed are available now.

http://www.coolnurse.com/

http://www.4woman.gov/violence/

http://www.childhelpusa.org/about/programs-and-services/childhelp-national-child-abuse-hotline-1-800-4-a-child

drug/alcohol abuse help go here: http://www.4drugabuse.com/addiction-treatment.html

http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/1800-273-TALK(8255)
The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is a 24-hour, toll-free suicide prevention service available to anyone in suicidal crisis. If you need help, please dial 1-800-273-TALK (8255). You will be routed to the closest possible crisis center in your area. With over 120 crisis centers across the country, our mission is to provide immediate assistance to anyone seeking mental health services. Call for yourself, or someone you care about. Your call is free and confidential. -----------------------------------

http://www.kidscrisis.com/

http://www.teenadviceonline.org/gethelp/numbers.html

You can call the National Sexual Assault Hotline, operated by RAINN, 24 hours a day, free & confidential. 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)

For info. on birth control etc.
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/

The Girls and Boys Town National Hotline is the only hotline that children and parents can call with any problem at any time:
Open 24-hours a day, every day at 1-800-448-3000

Spanish-speaking counselors available; translation services for 100+ languages

TTY line available for the hearing-impaired at 1-800-448-1833

Counselors can help find services and agencies in the callers' local community

Help at the End of the Line
Callers talk to highly-trained, professional counselors who listen and give "right now" answers. They're sympathetic people who have expertise dealing with these and other problems:

depression

suicide

running away

parenting problems

relationship concerns

physical, sexual, and emotional abuse

chemical dependency

mental health

anger

aggressive behavior

Toll Free
Operated by Father Flanagan's Boys' Home, hotline services are free of charge to every parent and child in all 50 states, the District of Columbia, U.S. territories, and Canada.

Toll-Free: 1-800-448-3000

http://www.sex-ed101.org/links.html

http://www.anorexicweb.com/anorexicweb.html

Report Child Abuse
Childhelp USA National Child Abuse Hotline
1-800-4-A-CHILD TDD: 1-800-2-A-CHILD



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All our motivations stem from two: Love or Fear. When in turmoil or indecision, ask yourself from which of these you are acting. If you want an honest response outside of yourself, you need to first be honest within yourself. Bless you on your journey!

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