|
once a month phone call.
My ex & I speak once in awhile. I'll be great for a few weeks, getting over him and not contacting him, but then he'll call me out of nowhere. We'll catch up, laugh about our memories together, and he slips in a few i miss yous. Then, he won't call for another few weeks. He hurt me badly but hearing his voice feels amazing. What am I supposed to do? The minute I feel like I'm moving on, it's like subconciously he knows and brings me right back to where I started. Do I tell him how I feel or will that sound pathetic? I feel like saying I want it all or nothing at all, but I don't want to lose him completely.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
You can't lose something that you don't have to begin with. Sounds like this guy is using you as a quick ego fix. If he wanted to be with you he would. There is nothing "subconscious" about his ability to hone in on your vulnerability. If it's over, you should simply stop answering his calls. People cannot treat you badly if you don't make yourself available. If you give him the "all or nothing" ultimatum, he'll know that you still want hom DESPITE the fact that he keeps tugging at your heart strings. That would ultimately gie him more power-don't let him have it. He doesn't deserve it.
]
When he says that he misses you, what do YOU say? That would be a great time to declare your true feelings. If you want to get back with him then tell him. Are you afraid of getting rejected again? Get over it, because you have to know one way or another! Is he someone you really want to get back with or are you only remembering the good times? You may find that only a friendship is possible right now. There are many people in the world that we have connections of love with, but that does NOT mean that we should be together or that they would make a great boyfriend or spouse. Kind of heartbreaking that he can't be everything you need, but that is life. 75% of a good thing is not the same as 99.9% of one! No one is perfect, but we have to keep some standards. If this guy hurt you or cheated on you, then chances are he would again. You don't have him to lose, so be honest with him, but don't do it without really being honest with yourself first. What would be pathetic is missing other dating opportunities to wait around every three weeks for this guy, if he does not want to get back together and really make it work this time.
]
I know what that's like. i have an ex who is the exact same way. The question you need to ask yourself is do you still love him enough to possibly go through more hurt and pain? Ofcourse you dont want to lose him completely. Nobody wants to lose somebody they love. But guys do stuff like that. My ex literally did the exact same thing. I'd start getting over him and I'd be soo happy then he'd call and act like everything was great and i'd fall all over again. It sucks. He may still have feelings for you but not enough to be with you again. you need to make a decision do you really want the possibility of getting hurt again? :] hope i helped oxxx Sam
]
well obviously he still likes you, so why don't you ask yourself if you still like him.....if you do, then maybe when he calls ask him, this question that you just posted and see if he gets the hint, if he doesn't ask him for his opinion...then let it slip that it's your question and the guy you're talking about is him...hopefull that will help..bye
]
I wonder if he feels the same way about you and if that's the reason why he still calls you. I bet you're wondering that too! In this situation I recommend complete honesty. You have to tell him how you feel and insist that he tells you about his feelings too. Sounding pathetic should be your last concern. There is more at stake here, and the risk you'll be taking is showing your vulnerability. Do you trust him enough to do that? Inbox me if you want to talk more about this.
From your description of the relationship you have at the moment, it sounds like you are still close enough to tell each other how you feel. Talk like friends. Ask him for help! Tell him it's hard for you to move on and that this arrangement hurts you. Don't hesitate to tell him that you don't want to break contact with him either. If he cares about you, and I'm sure he does, he will try to help you find a solution. It may be getting back together. But if he isn't ready for that, let him leave you more space to sort out your life, but don't make any dramatic decisions, such as "we'll never talk to each other again!" Maybe if you agree that you should call him when you're ready to see him again. (And that will be easiest for you when you find a new boyfriend, or at least someone who could become your new boyfriend!)
I hope this works out for you.
P.S. I think it's better to have this conversation in person than over the phone.
]
This is were you take a chance. I know dat right now you think you need him because a part of you still likes him but think of what is best for you. Think if by talking to him you are only hurting yourself. Try telling him that you cant get the idea of just talkin to him for some time because you are trying to forget about him but cant or something. Trust me you wont sound pathetic and if he thinks you do well fu** him.
Girl if he tells you he misses you he probably still likes you&may-b just may-b its time to forgive him for hurting you so bad.Im not telling you to forget about it[none of dat] im just telling you to speak up for wat you feel before its too late!
i hope all goes well...=]
]
More Questions: |