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Fantasizing
OK, my question is simply this: How do you get a guy outta your head? Now, believe it or not, I am 30 years old! I have a huge crush on this guy that I possibly can't have, but, he is all I think about constantly. How do ya just get over it & stop liking someone? Thanks.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Do what I do: BUY SHOES!!! Seriously, what makes this guy unobtainable? Do you feel he's out of your league? Is he married? If he's single, go for it! What do you have to lose? The absolute worst thing that could happen would be that you discover that he doesn't feel the same way you do. If he doesn't, then you'll know that you have no choice but to move on. You cannot make someone like/love you, so don't get into jumping through hoops to get his attention. Just be straightforward and HONEST, HONEST, HONEST!!! I cannot stress how imprtant honesty is. You don't have to gush over him like a 12 year old school girl, just let him know you'd like to take soe time to get to know him better. If he's like most men I know, he'll be flattered and probably be willing to give it a shot.
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I would have to reinforce BitsandPieces' fantastic answer; try and occupy your thoughts and time with something else. I, like Bits, am closer to your age (27) so I can completely relate and empathize with your predicament. And who's to say that you can't have this guy in the first place? Women tend to have a built-in fallicy that some men are out of their league, so to speak. The truth is, most of us want the "everyday girl" who's down to earth and well...normal! I can't stress enough, men give bonus points to women who aren't afraid to approach us, who knows, the flattery may impress him and you can work from there! Take it from me, courage is a very large turn-on...not to mention it saves us the trouble :)
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It is good advice to exchange one habit or obsession with another. You can also stop if you want to...the problem is we usually don't really want to stop what we get pleasure from...anyway, the trick is to stop the pleasure first, and then the habit will lose it's power. How you lose the pleasure of the crush and the whole fantasy surrounding it, is to interject reality into the fantasy. Fantasy is what makes this crush so exciting and so hard to let go of. If you actually got together with this person and saw all the daily problems and faults and boring stuff then it would not be so wonderful. This has to be a choice on your part to remind yourself of all the unsavory things whenever your mind begins to create this fantasy that you enjoy. Fantasy is a fiction, but why you made it up contains some truth about what you are missing in your life. Ponder what you really need and are getting from the fantasy and then think about a way to get what you need from your real situation. I am guessing you are in a committed relationship and have a crush on someone else. These things happen easily when we are not content in our relationships and are not doing anything about it. Put your focus on your real life, and though it is less fun at first, you will realize that real joy can be created. Fantasy is tempting because it is the easy path, but like doing a drug, it is a temporary fix that leaves you even more discontent with reality the more you indulge in the escape. "Go ask Alice, I think she knows..."
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Well you can try to think of someone else or date someone else. You shouldn't try to force him out of your mind. That would only make you think of him even more. Just let it happen, go through your daily life normally, do your own thing, and time will make you forget about him. In a while, you will find someone you will like and like you back.
When you like someone when you shouldn't, its only put pressure on yourself and you're only hurting you. (its not that you can help it). The best thing is to let go a little each day. Don't push too hard. I hope that helps. good luck =)
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