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Hanging By A Thread
Well u may all remember me from "I dont know what to do with my life" but here I am again. I feel as though I am hanging by a thread now. I've never felt this bad in all my life.I have horrible thoughts of walking in front of cars, thinking this will only hurt for a second, if I dont die, at worst Ill end up in hospital and be taken care of for a lil while (I know what u must be thinking). I can cut myself and think, just how deep is too deep. I do it where no one can see-but my boss knows me too well and she knows whats going on. These horrible thoughts take up much of my waking hours when I'm not at work. I wouldnt exactly say i like these thoughts...i would say that i deserve it, i desrve the pain. Whats wrong with me? I need help before I go too far.
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Want to answer more questions in the Health & Fitness category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
if you are thinking about suicide.. then you need to seek professional help. suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. tell a parent or a friend or talk to your boss. you need to talk to someone it sounds as tough you are depressed and may need medication.
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First, I know that you are struggling to keep your head above water right now and that you are tired. What you think might save you from the struggle is to give up and let yourself drown. Yet, you are hoping that a lifeboat comes by and you are shouting out, whispering at times for help. Your boss may or may not realize how much you are in turmoil and need help. The world may not see you in the vast ocean of life. But you have been heard. There is a force inside you that is determined to survive. Listen to THAT voice. If I threw you a rope would you grab it? The problem is not that no help exists, the problem is that you are tired and not sure how to grasp the help and pull yourself up from the depths you have become accustomed to. You are wise to ask for help. You obviously have strength within and just need faith enough to let go of the thread you have been hanging by, and grasp the rope. Are you ready to get help? Rest will not be experienced in Death. Death is not a place of peace. To experience real peace and rest one needs to be alive and have experienced victory over struggle. You can do this. The universe is pulling for you and I am pulling for you. No, you do NOT deserve pain or horrible thoughts. You have no right to judge yourself. Did you hear that? That voice of criticism you have been hearing that tells you I am wrong? That is not your voice. That is someone else's voice and they are WRONG, they are LIARS. The truth is that you are human, like me and not perfect, but completely worthy and loveable. First, love yourself enough to decide to take one step toward saving your soul. The rest will follow. Call one of the many helplines available to you, get some counseling, maybe offered through work? Talk to your boss directly, and call any friend, family menmber or healthy adult that you can and ask them for support in your taking positive steps. Community services through churches and other non-denominational facilities are available. Start with a phonebook. Keep me posted. I am here with you.
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I'm not a psychologist, but it sounds like you're despressed. Having no idea what the options for you are, I'm going to suggest that you get help from the school psychologist, a trusted teacher or adult friend.
Write down your thoughts, why think you feel the way you do, what you've done to "deserve" any of this that you're feeling. Maybe your boss, who sounds like she gets what's going on, would be a good person to talk to.
Suicidal thoughts are, as you've found out, aren't fun or safe. Please, if you think it's possible, talk to your parents, a trusted teacher, a boss, get to a psychologist. You'd be surprised how much just talking to someone can help.
Also, one thing that got me through a similar time was this: I have a passion and I kept thinking, "If I die, I won't be able to keep doing what I love."
Hope you feel better!
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