Wife, mother, loyal friend to the end, model, classic car collector. almost 30 years old, and seen alot in my few years here on earth. People usually come to me for advice, and i give in return grounded, realistic answers.
Gender: Female
Location: San diego
Member Since: January 18, 2005
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Last Update: June 30, 2016
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adviceman49
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Hey, I'm 15 and a freshman . Well, this guy (he's 20 and he graduated already) have been friends since last summer and him and I are somewhat really close. He's a really sweet guy, he is a Christian and he's never had sex before. He's helped me through when I got dumped, rejected, bullied, depressed, and we've just always been real good friends and never fight. Well, since Valentine's Day is coming up we already made plans to hang with our single friends, and yesterday he asked me if I would go out with him, and I keep saying I'll think about it, but I just don't know how I should respond even though I feel the same way as him. Like, we discussed age gap we had and he said 5 years isn't that huge and I kind of agreed. If him and I go out, I just would feel afraid I would get bullied for it , but I don't know. I want to say yes, but a part of me wants to say no. Advice please? (link)
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well im gonna be honest with you here, my husband is SEVEN years older then me and we met when i was 13 and he was 20. We were friends for a year and we both knew how we felt about each other and it just felt RIGHT. REALLY RIGHT. We were determined to be together no matter what anyone else said.
We made sure that our parents met and talked and were ok with it, and we've been together ever since. We're now married (six years) and have a three year old son. we also WERE intimate even though in the state of cali it would have been illegal if my mom felt it wasnt ok.
So you see these types of relationships CAN work i just wanna say that before i start in on anything else here. Secondly, i had always been considered MUCH more mature for my age, hated boys my OWN age, thought they were stupid, and liked older guys i could have REAL conversations with (and even then the immature older ones got filtered out by me REAL quick)
In the long run if both of you are similar people, your goals in life are the same, and you want to reach those goals TOGETHER whatever it takes, then it can work. Really its not always the age that matters, its the priorities each other have, and maturity levels and how badly you both want things to work.
If anyone is bullying you over being with an older mature guy, its probably just because their jealous. Alot of people spend their lives comparing theirs to yours, we all do it to a degree, its a human thing but when they start to treat you badly instead of just being happy for you then thats when its time to push them away.
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My boyfriend's mother has become aggressive towards me and has falsely accused me of being the reason as to why he has been missing school but he has not missed a day of school since his Birthday and she doesn't want me around anymore... But I've been the one to help her since she has such a busy work schedule, I have been providing him with rides to and from work, and to and from school when he has missed the bus... But she's been trying to accuse me of making power moves but in reality I've asked for her permission every time I go to get him and she had acted like it was perfectly fine but wants to turn around and act as if I'm trying to act as his mother, which is why she had sent me a nasty text message saying "I'm his mother, I say what goes" but I haven't tried to disrespect her not once. Currently Will has made me stay with him at his house, and I'm not sure if I should just stay here and wait to see what the outcome is because he said he would stick up for me, or if I should flee before it's too late and she shows up... (link)
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seems like a case of her feeling like your getting a little too involved with her son and her family then what shes comfortable with.
she may be a private guarded person when it comes to boundaries and has realized that she isnt totally needed anymore for every thing and doesnt want to face it, so shes frustrated and looking for a target and there you are! so its easier to just act like a giant B word toward you instead of just excepting that her son is growing up now and she needs to get a life.
try to go easy on her though shes just acting on her motherly instinct, it clearly still runs deep in her.
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My boyfriend recently just moved out by himself with his dog. He used to have roommates with dogs as well, so whenever he's gone for work, his roommates would take them out for a walk and feed the dogs. During night time, his roommates created something where the back door was accessible for the dogs so they can leave whenever they want to use the restroom in the backyard.
Now that he lives by himself, he's having trouble keeping up with his dog and is coming home with his dog pooping in the house. It's been cold lately, so he has not been wanting to leave his dog outside while he's gone because it's been cold. Do you have any ideas or any idea for technology that could help him?
I thought of a dog house and a doggy door, but his dog is slightly larger than a medium size dog. Please let me know, thanks. (link)
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Well what you have here is a bit of a problem with priorities. During or before the move, someone should have considered that the dog would need to be accommodated as well with things like what your talking about. A dog is not decoration, its an investment and a responsibility and if this cannot be taken care of then the dog might need to go somewhere else or there may need to be another move soon unless you can make a doggy door for the dog or someone can regularly let him out to go.
not to chew you out here but it sounds like the dog wasnt thought of or considered when the move was planned and if thats the case then he surely isnt putting the dog near the top of his priority list and thats a problem. Its an animal, like a child that relies on you (or him) for all its needs. you might want to have this discussion with him although im sure its going to be hard but it needs to be talked about and figured out from him.
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There is this cute guy in my class and I noticed him a couple of weeks ago. Over time I developed a crush on him but he sit far from me. I am a shy girl so I decided to give him a note with my number. so, when I see him after class I hand it to him and he shook my hand and introduce himself. Its been a few days with no call. Although I am patient most people say that if he has not call yet, he is not interested. At first, I was sure he would call and I am still hopeful. I wonder if he has not call me because he does not really know me or what to say. I really like this guy and I wanted to get his number but I want him to chase me so I gave him mines. Maybe he thought it was weird. But, I was confident and proud of myself for doing it . In addition, I consider myself to be an attractive person. So I need a guy perspective as I patiently wait. (link)
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Weel at this age, guys can sometimes be intimidated by pretty confident girls. Dont be put off to much he just might really like you back ALOT more than your realize and is scared at the thought of texting or calling you.
What you might try INSTEAD is getting a group together to go out and do something outside of school and have him come along. Get your friends that know him to all go to the mall together and plan a trip there, hit up the game arcade, get pizza together, see a movie and this will be your chance to get to know him and get more of a feel for him and see if he likes you. Then he wont feel like the pressure is all on him!
then while your at the mall, offer to split the cost of a big bag of candy or something like that! show that your generous and willing to give what you have in order to get what you want. its little things like this that will give him the idea that you like him and that its OK to like you back. When he does talk, make jokes, ask questions about things related to what your talking about and keep things positive.
Just be sure to plan things with your friends to make SURE hes there and included in what your doing. ; )
youll find out from a day with him who he really likes or doesnt like, and DONT bring up that he hasnt called you. He might feel like your putting him on the spot and get nervous. play it cool and pretend like its not a big deal and you just wanted to hang out sometime with some other friends and "thought you would include him cause he seemed cool".
good luck
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I've been with my boyfriend going on two years now and everything was fine until recently. I am just absolutely bored with him and am wondering if I am with the right person. Recently we had to move back in with my mom because I wrecked his car and we can't afford to live on our own now or buy a car. So we're trying to save up for one. Problem being with that, My mom and my boyfriend don't get along too well. She basically is lonely ever since her recent divorce with my stepdad and wants me to live with her it seems like forever. She Drives him and me to work and stuff. But we haven't gone out and done something fun together in a long time because since its mom's car she makes the rules about me and him going anywhere. We're always at the house now. Not only that we fight because of our mom's. It seems our mom's get jealous when we're spending time with oneanother. My mom isn't so mean to him she just gets mad at me if I don't give her attention and takes it out on me. His mom calls me vulgar names and tells him I can't come home with him when he goes to visit his family and I've always been polite. I feel like maybe the stress of our mom's is making me feel this way and the fact that we haven't been in a date since the accident in November is pulling us apart. I don't know what to do. I think I'm just scared of dealing with his mom (who is very abusive) and my mom (who's smothering) . I love him but I feel bored and am wondering if we should call it quits or not. (link)
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I would not call it quits with my boyfriend just because we are going through some stress due to things that are outside of your control (like how certain people are acting towards your partner) Theres just no way that that can be helped sometimes.
Sometimes parents get SO USED to be parents to you that they forget that your older now and there are certain boundaries that you need them to respect.
If i were you i would speak privately with your man, have a candid "can we realistically do this" kind of conversation with him alone and together see if you could both move out together with a roommate and share a 2 bed. place somewhere. If you CAN start looking without telling your mom, check out pricing maybe make some calls and let a few people know if the pricing is good that your interested and then sit down with your mom and have a conversation.
Tell her that "you can tell shes stressed" by you and your boyfriend living there by the things shes been doing and saying, and that if she feels that she cannot handle the two of you living there then you can both leave.
For her although this may be a relief, this would also mean that you are no longer at her beck and call or able to just come over and help her with things and that will be something she will need to except because youll have your own life outside of her home and she'll have to handle being alone.
Adults sometimes can get jealous of younger people because their life just didnt play out the way they thought it would and they see you and see that your life still has tons of potential and even though they may not mean it, it can make them resentful towards you. The reality here is that life never turns out JUST the way we think its going to, there are twists and turns and life is messy and some people dont take that into account. Try not to give your mom (or his mom even though i know thats probably hard at times) TOO much difficulty. parents see their babies getting older and things are happening way too fast for them and they just cant adjust sometimes.
bottom line, talk to your boyfriend. see if you both can combine your money and get out of there asap and get a roomy who works alot and is never there (those are the best kind ; ) hehee)
scrimp and save all you can until you can get out, then give each of your parents time to cool down and reach out again. Once they see your both trying to forge a life with each other with no one elses help they may change their tune a little. good luck.
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There's a guy I like and he always gives me stuff like food and stuff. So on Valentines I want to give him something to pay him back for the food but I don't want him to think something of it unless that's what is should go for, how would I do that? (link)
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Ok first off, giving someone ANYTHING on valentines day when you dont like them "like that" is out of the question. not a good idea.
Wait until AFTER v-day then give him something if you want to "repay him" for anything.
from what your coming across to me is you want to give him something nice without making him think you like him intimately? well thats not really possible if your planning on doing it on valentines day.
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So my boyfriend of 7 years has been distant. I get the relationships have ups and downs. Things have been great lately. So as I was shredding old mail I happen to see 'Chatturbate' on last months bank statement. We have separate accounts so it was his money. Everyone watches porn, I'm okay with that. These webcam sites are different. It's direct interaction with people for sexual gratification. Needless to say I scanned the statement and found nearly $100 spent in a month for the site. Not small change since he doesn't make much money. I'm not proud but I did snoop a bit and found he had a skype account that I didn't know about. It was logged in so I skimmed the chat. He paid $40 for a for a private video from someone he met on Chaturbate. I don't think he's meet anyone in real life but the private chat was graphic enough to make me upset. The person seemed only interested in the cash while my bf seem only into the performer. I watch porn. I get wanting a hot fantasy. I've never personally talked to the person in the porn I watch. Never said thing to them like how hot they are and how much they turn me on. Honestly it's hit my self esteem and I'm a fairly attractive person. Up until now I had total trust in him. He noticed I was upset and I skated around the issue. Enough to ask if he's happy and still wants to be together. I couldn't bring myself to tell him I snooped. I said I was emotional and just feeling weird vibes. He assured me yes and he did ask why I would ask these things. To the reader, sorry to ramble. Is this cheating? Do I confront him with what I know? How do I trust him again? Am I overreacting? (link)
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I personally would not be ok with him watching something where hes able to enter-act with the person preforming the acts of sex no. NORMAL porn would be ok but i would wonder why he didnt want to do that stuff with me. and ask if thats the kind of stuff he likes to do and if so give him a chance to do that with you if your both willing and open to it.
If theres nothing you can do to be the center of his sexual world then to ME there would be a problem there. you should be the only thing he wants, dreams about, and cant wait to get home to at the end of the day. On the other hand you have to give him motivation for him to feel that way (not that your doing anything wrong now) but is there anything now that he wants that you might not be doing?
Ive been married since 09 and together since 2001 with my guy and i try as much as i can to create an environment he wants to come home to, i do thoughtful things and pay attention to detail. This shows that your thinking of him even when he is not thinking of you. If you havent already, try these things and then see if his attitude and how he conducts himself chances a little because this could translate into the bedroom as well. give him reasons to feel lucky to have you, and you may just get what you want in return. (AKA not needing the chat because he has you)
try watching porn with him and asking him AS certain things are happening if he likes this or that and if he would like to do that with you or not. (some guys respect their women too much to even think of asking their partner to do certain things in the bedroom and just like regular sex while others have no problem with amping things up a bit) maybe thats true maybe its not but i do know couples that have been together along time and have certain things they still wont do for each other sexually, like oral.
both seem ok with it but the other poster is right you need to have open communication about what your both willing and not willing to do.
i thin its ok to let him know you came across this or that but whats done is done and he cant take it back so maybe try not to condemn him for that but asking him to come to you first when he feels he has needs should definitely be at the top of the list instead of automatically turning to a video service since your in a relationship now.
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I am almost turning 14 and everyone else has breasts. It is always awkward changing for P.E. And I look horrible in swimsuits. What do I do? (link)
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I was a model, a ballet dancer, and was also flat chested than most of the girls around me in school at your age. Those girls now STILL have their big boobs but their saggy, and mine are still smaller but firmer and perky ; )
and thats AFTER having had a child.
What i did was wear sports bras and tell people whenever questions were raised "well i wear sports bras because im an active person and its just easier and faster to get them on verses having to clip a bra shut and then flip it around and then put each strap OVER my shoulder and then make sure its adjusted properly. its just too much of a hassle for an active person like me!" ; )
get it?? perfect huh?? lol
this WAS true at the time but it was also true that i didnt have boobs and knew that i was lacking int he area. i didnt feel comfortable faking it because i knew i wouldnt be able to "keep it up" everyday. plus i knew other girls would notice if i came to school the next day with boobs all the sudden. lol.
so whenever someone would say something about me being flat chested i used the old "sports bra" excuse until i DID actually get boobs around 14.
got my period around 13 then boobs around a year or so later but it still took time for there to be any bulk to them.
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I'm 14 and I've been cutting for a few years. I really want to stop but I keep failing. Does anyone have some good advice? (link)
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I have a long time friend that used to cut and doesnt anymore. In conjunction with help she would also find rubber bands and put them around her wrists or arms and whenever the urge came on she would snap them against the skin to make her mind focus on that instead, at least until the urge would pass. Im saying do this instead of getting help but it COULD help if the urge is severe and your not currently seeing anyone for this or feel the urge still once you are getting help and theres no one else around to help.
good luck.
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How do I love myself? (link)
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well first off, what is it thats making you depressed?
your not really not giving us enough information to even begin to try to help you.
if you want just a basic answer about how to love yourself your probably going to get some varied answers here.
I would need more info here to be able to give you any real answers.
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Good morning and good afternoon advicenators. I am an 20 years old girl with a boyfriend who is 23. We have been together for the past 2 years. Here is my situation: Tuesday of last week, my boyfriend texted me in the morning but I did not answer his text. Later in the afternoon he called me but I did not pick up. All this was because I was frustrated with school and I was not in the mood to talk to anyone. Of course he got upset and felt as if I was ignoring him but I was not. I was planning to call him later before I went to bed. I had no intention on making him feel bad about it but when he confronted me with it I apologized and he forgave me. since then, our relationship has been off-balance. He has been ignoring me but I act as if I dont notice it because I feel like he wants to get revenge. When I text him, he takes forever to text back but I always text him right back. When I call him at night, he doe not pick up and texts me in the morning saying that he went to bed early. I really do not know what to do. Can someone please advice me on what I should do. Thank you in advance. (link)
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I would start off with a "is something wrong?" when you feel hes acting like this.
Then try a "well you seem quieter then normal is everything ok??" come at him from a "concerned" angle. Kind of a killing someone with kindness sorta thing. Usually people cant or wont lash out when someone is clearly "just trying to make sure everything is ok" with them. If your sensing something IS wrong and hes acting out because hes still upset over what happened, ASK if hes still upset about that and let him know none of that was his fault and you were having a really bad day and youve been stressed out alot and ask how many times are you supposed to say your sorry for it, because it was a mistake? he simply caught you at a bad moment and although one should try to never lash out at a loved one when their stressed, honestly its GOING to happen sometimes, thats just life, theres nothing anyone can do about that.
It upsets me when someone tries to silently crucify me over something i did when it was just a misunderstanding or a mistake on my part and ive already said im sorry and thought we worked through it and yet they still refuse to let it go and move on.
Im a straight forward kind of person and i would just ask in the way that i mentioned above and then say you wont do it again it was clearly a mistake, youve already told him that so he needs to grow up and move on.
if after youve talked to him ((and hes a guy so usually they give the "OKAYYYY" as the sign of giving in and moving on now)) go back to being your usual boyfriend loving self and try to pay him a little more attention so that he SEES that your sorry. If he even brings that whole thing up AGAIN and/or tries to hold it over your head later down the line then he needs to go. Thats a sign right there that he clearly HASNT let it go even after you both talked it out and not only that but is trying to hold it over your head to try to make you feel bad about it so youll do something HE wants you to do and thats NOT happening.
good luck! ; )
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I am a 16 year old girl. My boyfriend is 15. We have not had sexual intercourse but we do engage in oral and sex play from time to time. Two weeks ago we were doing what many hormonal teen couples do and he ejaculated outside ( he never went in) and some semen accidentally got on my vulva. We stopped immediately and I cleaned up as best as I could. I've searched all over the internet but I can't seem to find an answer. I understand that there's a low chance but I can't seem to get the possibility out of my head. My boyfriend is also very worried and is providing support and reassurance. My period is extremely irregular (I once spent 6 months without menstration) so I can't just wait to see if I missed it. I haven't taken any taken any pregnancy tests yet but my boyfriends bringing me some this Sunday. If I am pregnant I don't want to have an abortion but I'm not in the position to raise a child. I take the SAT in two months and I'm six credits away from graduation. I want to still be able to see my son or daughter if I choose adoption and one day be able to take custody but I have a feeling it won't be that easy. I'm so ashamed I've disappointed myself and I'm probably going to disappoint every one around me. I have plans and they're all gonna go to ruins if I am pregnant all because I felt as though I had to make him come. What should I do? I'm so scared.... (link)
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yeha i agree, i say go try and get the plan b pill, it will force your period to come so even if anything IS afoot inside you, there will be plenty of time to put the kebash on that before it develops on a serious level.
; )
good luck
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I just recently started taking birth control after experiencing a pregnancy scare.
The pill that I am on is mononessa, and I am scared because although I have not missed taking any pills, sometimes I take them an hour later than my scheduled time. My own research told me that you should not take the pill any later than 24 hours from your last time.
I have an upcoming pap smear and I am going to bring it up with my doctor. The only concern I have is that I tend to not like condoms when having sex with my boyfriend, and I thought that birth control (which is supposed to be 99% effective) would work at preventing any unplanned issues.
If I take it an hour later than usual is that okay? Should I use back up? (link)
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im pretty sure most meds and birth control pills have a 12 hour half life before failing to work completely so i wouldnt worry too much about that but still try to make sure you take it on time or just the next time you remember. maybe set a timer on your cell phone that will go off everyday at a certain time when you usually wake up or have a moment alone during your daily routine. get a night stand next to your bed so when you get up every morning you can take them if you need.
youll be fine ; )
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I can't talk to my best friend about this because I'm afraid she will not take me seriously, or she won't know how to respond. I'm having some questions about my sexuality. Are you comfortable talking about this with me?
I will give you a little background first so hopefully its easier for you to see where I am coming from. I'm female, and 24yrs old. I lost my virginity when I was 19 in my first serious relationship. However, when I was about 13, I was in a sexual encounter with a girl. I was unaware of what was happening because I was half asleep, she started kissing me and touching me and when I realized what was going on I woke up and tried to rollover. She then put her arm around my side and tried to touch me again, thats when I got up, left the room and told my parents.
I have always loved men and don't have any issues with being with men. It was after my first real relationship ended horribly that I started sleeping with other men and I noticed that my relationship attempts have been failing. It goes one of two ways, I find someone I am interested in and things are going well and then it just ends, or a guy is more into me than I am into them.
I have had sex with a girl before, it was a close friend of mine and it happened twice. I did really enjoy it and I often fantasize about doing it with her or even other woman. In fact, I mostly only watch Lesbian, or group porn.
I am very attracted to woman, but I'm not sure if what I'm feeling is real or just a temporary fantasy. Am I bisexual? Am I just going through a phase? Should I try dating women to see how it goes? (link)
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ok based on what youve told us here, it sounds like because you might have had a traumatizing encounter with another female as a youngster that your sub conscience could be playing a part here when it comes to thinking about having sex with other women.
im thinking a few things here and im just shooting this out there for you to chew on ok.
what if because you were basically molested by that girl when you were younger, your brain is thinking its ok to explore relationships with women when your actually straight? could this play a role in how you see friends and other women now?
and could the lines between normal friendships with other women and intimate relationships be a bit off because of that past encounter?
It makes me personally wonder these things because that was your basis for comparison about your thoughts on relationships with other women.....((if hadnt had that encounter would you still think this way??)) or have you always fantasized about other women?
after asking yourself these questions you might just come to your conclusion and have a clear answer.
its not totally abnormal for woman to be attracted to and want to be around other women, thats what your friends are for, i have some that are fine taking their clothes off around me and its just not a big deal because they know i dont care and wont judge them because i dont see them that way.
i didnt hear you say that youve "always" thought of women in a sexual light just as much as men, and then with the encounter with the girl just leads me to believe that your somewhat tramatized and your views on the lines between friendships and relationships with women are potentially a bit skewed. maybe thats something to work on within yourself.
something to think about ; )
good luck sweetie.
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Okay, so I like this guy in my friend group and I have for a long time now. We talk all the time, we text pretty often. He also asks to skype me. We used to skype like in a group, but the other night he asked if I wanted to skype. We skyped for like 2 and a half hours, then I had to go to bed and he texted me after we got off skype. I don't know what this means, like does he just enjoy talking to me as friends or does he like me as something more?
Oh, by the way I am 15, almost 16 year old girl. (link)
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He definitely likes you from what it sounds like.
My husband and i started out like that so keep it going. Oh and dont listen to every single thing irishguy is saying, i got my husband and i have a sharp A line cut and he loves it. (((long hair just doesnt look good on everyone))) ; ) im one of them.
even tried growing my hair out and i just looked and felt stupid and i have no patience for it. lol
But we started out cuddling, and poking and playing and talking all the time, then before i knew it he had bought me a cell phone so he could contact me anytime he wanted and 9 years later BOOM! married with a 3 year old! haha
your fine. just let it flow. good luck sweeite! ; )
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So I am 17 my gf being 16 things are a little complex. So to cut the middle story out I am not gonna beat around the bush I want to take her virginity. I am a lesbian. She like the idea of sex and stuff it's just me penetrating her just turns her off. To answer questions. She is ready I am ready i am not used to dating virgins I have a strapon I wish to use with her it is named tiger she likes to give oral with tiger cause she knows I like it. Problems: she told me she rarely gets wet, we have done some things like dry hump I can come she has never came, what if she bleeds, what if she breaks up with me, where do I take her first time, what if I hurt her worse then normal, what is gonna happen,
Please help a baby lesbian out
No homophobia !!!! (link)
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def. try to discuss this with her i agree with the last poster.
then try fingering to relax the vaginal walls and then once your ready to use the strap on use LOTS of lube and go SLOW. thats the best advice on taking any females virginity. go by her ques and tell her to tell you if your hurting her just like a girl would tell a guy if it were her first time with a male.
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So here's a few things I've noticed in the last semester of my college experience. I met this girl in my class and I never thought I would develop a crush on her. Let's call her person A. I first started talking to her when we did an activity in class when we lined up in alphabetical order. I was right behind her and we hit it off quite well, that same day I asked for her number. As the days went on, I thought she was cool and eventually we hung out for the first time. I admit that she is attractive and she's only the second girl I've ever liked. At the time, I was dating someone else, let's calm them person B. I have crushed on person B since I was 16 (I'm currently 18) and have always wanted even a small chance to date her. But while I hardly see person B anymore because of our grade difference, I grew closer to person A and eventually we became best friends. I never took a noticed into maybe I was in love with person A. That was until a friend of mine pointed out how whenever I'm with person A, I follow them like a puppy in love, my heart beat increases,I get nervous, and I smile so much more around her. I'm lead to believe this is the reason why my feelings for person B have completely fallen apart because I fell for someone else who I thought was attractive. And person B doesn't like the idea of me spending so much time with person A and has accused me of dating person A.
My question out of this; am I in love with person A? I think I am. It's been awhile now that I've had a crush on her and I always get 'butterflies in my stomach' when she's around me and I smile widely when I get a text from her. I still like person B, I do. But I don't think it's as much as I love person A now, especially if I have classes with person A. Person A is taken, that's why I don't make any advances towards her and I do not want to cause a strain in her relationship and ruin it for her.
Should I even tell her? I'm not sure, I was still questioning myself on whether or not if I should ever confess that I was in love with her. (link)
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ok first off, why would person B have a problem with you liking person A? thats kinda not cool, she should be encouraging you to do whatever makes you happy. sounds like person B is slightly jealous you might have turned your attentions elsewhere and likes that you have had feelings for her in the past. girls often like being a guys center of attention and if they start to look elsewhere they can get upset and start treating you differently like being mean and passive aggressive.
If person A is taken, then what you can do is just continue to be cool with her. Be there for her when shes having a tough time, talk to her, just basically be a good friend and should she ever brake up with her man she will automatically turn to you because youve been there when she needed you. ; )
i wouldnt confess feelings, just keep being cool and supportive like any other friend would and if you find someone else during that time then thats ok too but just keep you eye on her and she will come to you if shes ever heart broken and needs advice or a friend and your in! ; )
good luck!
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Hi! I'm Laura (hoping to change my name to Ben or something more masculine though) and I'll be turning 14 in a few weeks! I'm a biological female but I'm wishing to become a male. I haven't said anything to anyone about it yet, but I have asked my parents if I can cut my hair, saying that ling hair is "too much work to maintain". They agreed.... That is until I told them just how short I wanted to cut it. I want to get it really short in the back with some bangs in the front or something like that. My mother supported my decision but my father is a whole other story. He said some thkngs that were meant to be hurtful like calling me a boy and asking if I wanted to be called luke now (keep im mind he wasn't asking if I wanted to be a boy in a supportive way or anything, he was mocking me). It hurt a little bit, but I have thick skin. He says I'm not getting it cut, and whatever he says goes. All of this happened about two weeks ago and I haven't brought it up since. What can I do? I hate my girly appearance and I know that if he won't even let me cut my hair, I certainly can't bring up the idea of transgender. (link)
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Yeah i say try to understand where your parents are coming from like the other poster said. this is a whole new thing for them. alot of parents dont expect their kid to grow up to be anything but normal. I say give them some time to digest one thing at a time. from you changing your hair style to your clothing choices and so on. take it slow so that they will be able to see where this is headed and that your obviously leaning more toward acting and dressing like a male.
then one day in a couple of years from now, as the 3 of you are sitting and talking you can try to break it to them that you feel uncomfortable living like a girl and everytime you try to put on female clothes you feel ridiculous and not like yourself. again give some more time to let this digest, if your mom is more understanding about this then lean more on her for support with this issue then your dad.
Your mom would probably be more honored that you would confide in her with such things as a mother to a daughter then anything else because your letting her in and trusting her with your feelings.
she might try to say "oh your still young you just need time to adjust to being a woman" or whatever but she will continue to see that your not "adjusting" and as time goes on she will understand and will talk to your dad about it in the best way she knows how. If theres anyone you can get on your side to try to root for you when it comes to this its your mom. she knows your father in ways you never will and will most likely know how to approach this topic with him. ; )
good luck and come back and let us know how its going as time goes on!
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Me and my ex broke up about a month ago, and I'm really missing him. At first it didn't really bother me, I was sad for about a week and started to move on, but just a couple days ago, he came into my work ( local grocery store) and went through my line. Ever since that day, I've become really depressed and have been thinking about him continually. My feelings and emotions have gotten the best of me. I usually talk about this with my friend but she recently met a guy and has been hanging out with him 24/7. It's making me more depressing seeing how happy she is, knowing I was that happy when I was with my ex. Yes, I am happy for her, but its hard for me seeing couples right now. Idk what to do?! I'm really upset, crying. Please help. (link)
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Ok, lets try something here. Try asking yourself WHY you broke up with him, was there more bad times then good? was he cheating? what?? you didnt really give any kind of explanation for why you broke up with him so this is kind of hard to answer.
Its ok right now to feel emotional and all right now but if you broke up with your boyfriend for good VALID reasons then, you simply need to remind yourself of why you broke it off with him whenever your feeling down about it. If you were truly better off without him then i think theres nothing to be real sad about.
Sure you may still have feelings for him and might love him but it doesnt mean that you were good for each other. Another guy will come along and you'll hit it off and if hes not the right guy then you'll know ALOT sooner right??
good luck sweetie ; )
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I met a guy online. We have been messaging each other for about 4 months. He wants to meet but I'm a little hesitant about it. Mostly due to safety reasons and his behavior. He always wants to rush things. On the dating site we met on, he gave me his number right away and guilt me into calling him by threatening not to speak with me again. I didn't call him until I felt ready, which was two weeks ago. Yesterday, I caught a bug was sleeping in bed for a day and a half. I checked my phone after I woke up and saw that he left me a bunch of text messages. I even missed his call. He really wants to met by next month. (link)
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yup. i have to back up the other poster here. Its about how comfortable you are. he might just REALLY like you and want to meet already but if your feeling a little rushed and that your kind of "old fashion" when it comes to this stuff then he might understand a little more, but at the same time when it comes to online dating you have to be willing to do MORE then just talk to people. You have to be able to push yourself outside your own comfort zone and just meet the person. Obviously you want to do it in daylight and in a public place where if anything happens people will see.
Also tell someone where your going and for what so if (worst case scenario happens) someone will know.
maybe you just need more on the phone time before you can move to the next step of in person. that i can understand but try to understand that usually the goal of online dating is to meet soon after youve started talking to see if there is chemistry so that if theres not, then your not BOTH wasting your time.
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