ask missundersmock

Wife, mother, loyal friend to the end, model, classic car collector. almost 30 years old, and seen alot in my few years here on earth. People usually come to me for advice, and i give in return grounded, realistic answers.
Gender: Female
Location: San diego
Member Since: January 18, 2005
Answers: 822
Last Update: June 30, 2016
Visitors: 31652

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Thanks!

I don't think you read the whole question. You stated the first comment that I have noticed. My question was whether or not if he was abusive or just a jerk. Advising me to just to sit him down and talk with him, which I have already done if you were to read the entire question... He won't listen. Even in person, he doesn't respond to me or gets defensive. Thank you for taking the time for writing all of this, but this advice came back useless.

Well, if he says so, it must be true! Despite that I do not ask for so much as a thin dine from anyone. Seriously, for fairness sake, maybe he and I should talk this over. That's not a request one would generally expect from a SPAMMER, is it?

You have a really bad attitude to be quite honest. You think you know people from just reading one little measly paragraph? Well, if that's the case, I know who you are. You've got relationship problems of your own. You sound bitter. Maybe you just got cheated on, I don't know. Or care, for that matter. So I'm assuming at this point that YOU clearly don't have the mental capacity to answer a question with genuine advice or be of any kind of help to anyone. Fix Your shit before you try to "help" other people.

Yes i have told my dad multiple times that im going with my friends and that i dont need a date to prom he said that if i go with my friends he would consider me a lesbian which im not. Also i know that she meant me and that guy look related which offended me i never said i thought it meant i looked like a boy obviously siblings look alike so when she said me and him were related shes saying we looked alike. Also i understand what you mean it probably is the way i carry myself. Lastly i went to Mac last summer to get mac foundation i dont understand the purpose of foundation when i have clear skin and also i do watch youtube videos i just dont have the money to spend on makeup but anyways thank you for the advice

that makes lots of sense thank you!!!

Thank you very much for your help. :)

Thanks :)

Thanks for the advice. I do like this girl so hopefully you are correct :)

sorry about not mentioning our ages, we're 19 years old. but thank you very much this advice was phenomenal!!

I already did it. Thank you for your support though :) I know who I am and I know I deserve a much better guy than that.

Thanks missmudersock

great! you answered my question exactly! thanks so much, you were very helpful!

Hey, thanks. I didn't think of it like that. It's just hard and when I get upset, I tend to think of everything else going wrong and I think i just got most upset at the fact that I feel like his lack of trying to communicates means that he doesn't miss me. But thanks for your help; means a lot!

thanks, that's a great idea!

Yeah I guess you're right thank you

Thanks.

It's been a year since I posted this, I didn't have time to reply. Thanks by the way! Btw love your sassiness <3

It's been a year since I posted this, I didn't have time to reply. Thanks by the way! <3

It's been a year since I posted this, I didn't have time to reply. Thanks by the way!

thanks<33

Thank you a lot, I'll talk to my boyfriend and see what we should do!

thank you for your honesty (-:

Thank you so much for your awesome advice. I'm very glad that you took the time to help me and share your wonderful ideas with me. I'll keep everything you said in mind and I'm totally gonna try that shoe thing as I think that will work extremely well. Thanks again and God Bless.

I'll try it C:

I read this, re-read it and read it again. Thank you so much for this, really helped me out!

Thanks

Thank you for your advice. I'm definitely going to think over everything in my head. I hate making excuses for him, but sometimes I feel like he thinks its okay to tell me about other women because he knows I'm bi-curious/into girls as well. I don't know if that changes anything? But I appreciate your advice, and it's something I needed to hear. I'm not sure if I have it in me at this moment to break it off, because I feel too attached and I love him alot, but it's something I'm willing to do and will do if I continue to feel the way I do in the next 2-3 months. Thank you so much xo

Thank you very much!

Yeah thanks so much I agree entirely

thank you <3

Thank you

thanks so much :)

thanks really mch :) I appreciate it

Whoo thanks :)

Thanks so much!

Thank u

aww thanks I appreciate that :-)

thank you

Thank you so much for your kind words. I am hesitant to speak with a counselor but I think I really will give it a try. I already felt so much better just talking about it here. I have been looking into free counseling opportunities at my campus for the fall. Thank you again, God bless <3

Thanks, hun. He didn't penetrate that much deeper than he usually does. So, I don't think he went too deep or too fast. We never use lube, but I was definitely wet enough. I, also, was bleeding slightly. Since it was less than a week ago, I haven't really experienced any symptoms, other than moderate cramping, back pain, breast soreness (but that was right before sex), and nausea after meals (which I also had before). I will speak to my gynecologist though, and hopefully the PA can shed more light on what happened to me.

Thank you. I really, really appreciate you helping me. You give such great advice and I'm very grateful for it.

Thank you kindly, your advice has truly opened my eyes to things I've never considered before, my mum lives a miserable life with him she is unappreciated and he treats her like a slave, just like me she suffers emotional abuse, I'm glad I realise it's him and not me, thank u for taking the time

Wow, you gave the best advice of anyone. Thank you so much and I appreciate you helping me to help my friends. I was worried about this, but now I feel better that I at least know how to go about handling it. Thanks again. :)

Thank you so much! I know you were afraid you might not be the right person, but you helped me a whole bunch! Thanks again! :)

I did, in fact, leave him my number on his car. He was going away for a week for our work and I didn't know when I would be free the following week upon his return to set something up. Anyway, I thought I'd let you know, he did call me when he returned home and we have a date set up for this weekend!

Yeah, I've thought about that. Guess I'm kind of a feedback whore. or appreciation whore. Thanks for responding!

Thanks that was really in depth. I'll definitely have to let her meet the dog somewhere else besides my apartment. I think the dog park is a great idea. We got the dog together, but after splitting up and she was moving in with her dad, she didn't have any grounds to bring the dog with her and it wouldn't have been right of her to do so because while we were together I was the one to take care of the dog and feed her and take her out, giver her baths, etc. She doesn't pick up anything anymore, the majority of her stuff is cleared out, but every once in a while I will find some of her old stuff and let her know so she can come pick it up. && After the break up, every time she came over she would take a big look around like she's looking for some clues that there was another woman in the apartment or something. I didn't say anything to her about it because I didn't want another argument. But it's not like I broke up with her because I met someone else, it was just negative being around her and I just didn't enjoy it anymore. It got the point that I was enjoying my own company rather than "our" company.

Thank you!

Thanks... But I dont like him that way :-) still, your answer's really accurate.

Never heard of it. I shall check it out. Thanks :)

I was telling you that growing up, birthdays weren't that way in my life. Every single birthday I had as a teenager was depressing, and I had no parties, and rarely presents. So to counter that by saying people in your life are lucky to have those experiences and thus, you don't understand what I'm saying is hurtful. Why would Kris Jenner's kids not be able to be excited for their mother's birthday when they've begged for big parties with musical appearances, reserving an entire amusement park, etc. so you're saying they have issues with aging? I'm a bit offended also that you think that alcohol must be at a party for an adult to have fun. I'm 21 and I've literally only had 2 drinks since my birthday a couple months ago. And I only drank about 1/2 of one drink, on my birthday, and 1/8 of another, at a concert. When I was younger I drank more, but mainly just drinks in my parents' wine cabinet, just to see what alcoholic drinks tasted like. I prefer teas, juices, and sodas. I've never actually gotten drunk, and don't want to. There's nothing silly about an adult having a party at Dave and busters, but I think people would see the irony of chuck e cheese, since I can't afford to take everyone to Disney world.

You're so awesome!! I agree totally with you. ((: thank you!

Thank you so much for your advice. It was perfect and I really appreciate it. God Bless you.

Thnx!!! 😁

tysm for ur advice<333

Really good advice, thanks! I do get out a LOT even though I'm homeschooled, because my dad is one who hates to be house bound and likes to get out. Plus, I have to go to town at least twice a week. I do buy purses a lot, so they would think nothing of me buying a new one like that. They don't usually search my purse, except one time when they thought I forgot to return the car keys (only to find out later mom put them on the bar). The sunscreen isn't a bad idea either. And luckily there trip to town was laid off till tomorrow, so I should be able to use your advice then. Thanks!!😀👍

Thank you so much. Your advice was very helpful!

Thanks...

I do appreciate everything you mentioned and I will try to use those tactics next time a fight is about to occur. As for the sexual history, I asked him those questions. Why? I dont know. Like I mentioned before, I know its not a competition but for me, just knowing what someone else has been through in the past makes me feel more comfortable with them now. To me, it makes me feel as if they were less of a stranger. So yes, I did ask and I didnt mean for it to come off as if hes telling me to get me jealous. Thanks again!

Haha. Thanks! I was actually planning on buying em anyway😃

Thanks for answering! You're right, if gf 1 does ask me out I'll say no as I am dating gf 2, and we do have a good thing going. It'll be hard- but I don't want a repeat of before with gf 1. Thank you! :)

Thanks!It was talking care of! U da best! (btw, i rate five

Thank you

Perhaps this is my fault. My boyfriend did not suddenly gain weight. He lost a considerable amount of weight from the time that I started dating him. He actually is nervous himself about his lack of drive. It's not something that just suddenly came about, it's something that he's struggled with. He doesn't know what kind of future he's going to have, and he's scared to get out there and fail.

thank you so much

Thank you!

Thanks. Your advice was perfect.

Actually I don't look at other guys. I'm happy and satisfied with what I have. I would gain nothing but guilt if I looked at another man. Thank you for your advice!

Thank you!

thank you so much for this answer. thank you for validating that I'm not crazy for thinking they have gone too far. other members of the family receive the same treatment but they respect their elders and think this is permissible

thanks!

Thank you!

Thank you! I know this, I am just trying to find out how to deal with her =].

Thank you! I just need any sort of opinions.

Thanks honey!!

thanks

So simople. Thank you so much. Dzadzy

I am a male and thank you for the tip

Thank you very much!

Thanks, I need to hear hard truths. I'm sorry about your parents.

Thank you for your ideas. A good thing about me is I always believe people act they way they act for a reason. So I do believe he has some deep darkness in his life he needs help with. I plan to go to counseling and prepare for this event. If my mom has cancer, which I find out today, I will have to hold off.

Thankyou, so much! It really did help. I havent heard back from him (which is great) But I noticed my phone refuses to connect to my wifi, meanwhile the rest of my family's mobile devices are connected just fine. he did mention something about being able to get into my phone, so that does freak me out a bit, but I would assume its just a coincidence and that Im over exaggerating. again, thanks :)

I wasn't his side dish I was the place saver until he had his life together enough to show her has changed. Yes I know what to avoid now, but this also might mean I'll be very disconnected and have a very high wall put up.

Thank you so much for your advice! I looked up some pictures and it did look like an absess. I asked my mom (very nervously) and no matter what I showed her , she said it looked like a canker sore, and would go away. I didn't think it was because they looked different, but it started getting a bit smaller now so maybe it was. I have not gotten my wisdom teeth yet and am sort of worried about all that. My teeth are overcrowded, yes, but my parents...at least my mom is the kind of person who wants to check everything out and not have to pay for it unless you can for sure. Thank you so much for your detailed advice! I'll keep this in mind!

Thank you. I believe that I am no virgin now. Somebody said that if being a virgin is having a hymen still then boys can never be virgins. This is making much senses to me. I have now got the doctor say my rash is herpes since I did the anal sexing. :(

Thank you very much!

Aw, thanks :)

I've actually recently bought a white jean jacket and it's really nice. One thing I want to know: I haven't worn leggings in forever (I personally like jeans), but won't they be really hot in hot cali weather? Is it common do you think for people to wear that? I don't want to look out of place haha

Thank you so much for all of that awesome advice. You really opened my eyes and I am taking your thoughts into consideration. Now I have a pretty clear reason to why I think that way.

That really helps! Thank yoU!

Yea, I tried explaining that I'm not her to him before and to not take it out on me, but he didn't really get it. An I agree about working out our issues before telling him, makes sense to me. Thanks

I just wanted to thank you for taking the time to reply in such a prompt manner. Most people would just give me a sentence or two and leave it as that. I appreciate it from the bottom of my heart!

I do thank you with all my heart for sharing such wonderful words with me. I am taking your thoughts into consideration. It's great to receive a neutral point of view for a change. Thank you again

Hi there, I think something was missed somewhere. The other mods agreed that you should NOT be banned, not that you should. :-) As for the legal issue, it has nothing to do with court. In my previous state, if you record me (audio) without my consent, and anyone finds out, I call the police, and you go to jail. You do this over a phone line... federal crime. Why I am the first to contact you, is that the decision is mine, and users aren't typically contacted about such things. Realistically, it is an option, and if she decided to do so, you should tell her to check her the laws where she lives before doing something that is against the law in as many places as this is. I fully agree the boyfriend should know she is cheating, absolutely, but what if he is blindly in love, and gets her in trouble by sharing what she did with the other woman? Again, jailtime. This site isn't really meant for discussion. If you have the stats for it, please make yourself a level 1 moderator, and come chat it up in the mod forum. If you want to talk about this with me, the site owner, then please contact me via skype or e-mail. DangerNerd@gmail.com for both. Thank you.

Thank, you're right. It is a total waste of time to dwell on these things. Thanks again.

Thanks for your help! But once I really confronted him he said that I wasn't sending him enough naked pictures and that was pretty much the breaking point for me. I really appreciate it though!

Well actually we can't see each other more because he and I study and live an hour apart and its expensive on the train. So what do you suggest now then-there is such thing as long distance relationships you know

Thank you so much for the advice. And I did give the necklace back to him but that was me being nice. I haven't talked to him since last Friday when I returned the necklace and you're right, I should see if he does come to me. If not, oh well. At least this gives me time for myself. :)

thanks...i told my parents and my friend and my parents are going to do something about it, thanks for your concern and good advice!

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