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Advice on a guy I met online
I met a guy online. We have been messaging each other for about 4 months. He wants to meet but I'm a little hesitant about it. Mostly due to safety reasons and his behavior. He always wants to rush things. On the dating site we met on, he gave me his number right away and guilt me into calling him by threatening not to speak with me again. I didn't call him until I felt ready, which was two weeks ago. Yesterday, I caught a bug was sleeping in bed for a day and a half. I checked my phone after I woke up and saw that he left me a bunch of text messages. I even missed his call. He really wants to met by next month.
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Dear Online Dating,
First of all if any person tries to guilt you to do anything then that's a red flag. Second dating should not be hard but if it is especially with someone pressuring you then that's a clue that you don't need to talk to someone who is making it hard. Understanding people will never make you feel less of a person. if you do not feel comfortable in meeting then make it known. If they get upset and threaten to not communicate the it's a blessing in disguise because you don't need a person who is not understanding. Be true to yourself and know who you are and what you want because the right person you meet whether it's online or in person will be understanding!
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You have to trust yourself on this. If you feel uncomfortable, there is a reason for that.
If I was in your situation, the whole threatening not to speak with you again would have been a red flag and I would have stopped talking to him.
I also wouldn't date someone who spams me with text messages but that's your call. He might just really really like you and want to meet you but it is weird.
I also think it's weird that you guys met on an online dating site and have been messaging for 4 months. Usually, you meet people maybe within the first week or two to see if there even is chemistry.
You do have to think about your safety but as long as you meet in a public place and maybe just let a friend know where you're gonna be, then you're fine.
So my advice would be to trust your instincts.
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meeting a person that you met on a dating site should only be done when you feel there's a possibility of furthering the relationship.
If you are concerned for your safety or his behavior gives you pause, it's: "Sorry Charlie, you're standing at the station tryin' to take what I ain't got to give. Oh and I'm so sorry Charlie, I've got my own life to live."
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yup. i have to back up the other poster here. Its about how comfortable you are. he might just REALLY like you and want to meet already but if your feeling a little rushed and that your kind of "old fashion" when it comes to this stuff then he might understand a little more, but at the same time when it comes to online dating you have to be willing to do MORE then just talk to people. You have to be able to push yourself outside your own comfort zone and just meet the person. Obviously you want to do it in daylight and in a public place where if anything happens people will see.
Also tell someone where your going and for what so if (worst case scenario happens) someone will know.
maybe you just need more on the phone time before you can move to the next step of in person. that i can understand but try to understand that usually the goal of online dating is to meet soon after youve started talking to see if there is chemistry so that if theres not, then your not BOTH wasting your time.
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Trust your gut.
If you are an adult, and are trying online dating, then it's probably going to be good for you to know that most people want to meet within a few weeks. Four months is a long time to just talk to someone. Most perfectly sane people want to meet in person before that to see if there is any in-person chemistry. Frankly, it's as safe to meet with someone you've spoken to a few times as it is to meet with someone you've spoken to for months. It's all about how you plan the meet, not about how many texts you've exchanged.
More important than that though, is that you should always trust your gut. If you aren't feeling secure and happy about meeting with this guy, then don't meet with him. If you are getting a bad vibe, then end it right now.
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