You don't really want what she has and you know it. Be patient, and continue to be yourself. Baggage, going through a thousand guys, and partying is not for you, and will not bring you happiness. The kind of guys she is attracting are not the ones for you either. It may take you longer to find the quality man you are seeking, so do not lower your standards in the meantime to get a cheap version of what you really want. Start hanging out with people who are more on your level of maturity and you may find yourself among guys that interest you and can see you as the quality woman that you are. Being selective means you will have a harder time, because it is more rare, but worth every moment of patience.

First, you knew he was going and were cool with it...or were you? A lot of times we may not want to appear jealous or controlling, so we fake being okay with something we are really not. It is totally normal and healthy for you to NOT want YOUR boyfriend at a club where the whole point is to get sexually excited over naked women's bodies and lewd dancing. I have known strippers personally, their backgrounds and some of their experiences. There are many clubs where prostitution is held in back rooms and lap dances are very borderline. It is a big deal and it does not mean nothing. The media plays up how cool it is, but it is sleazy and not the place for a man to be if he is supposedly commited to someone else. If he disagrees, then he won't mind you slow dancing with a hottie...women are not as visually turned on as guys, so to be fair, you would need some hot talk and touching to get you hot and bothered like he was at the strip club. Fair is fair! I would not question his feelings for you, but I would not pretend that going to strip clubs is something good for the relationship.

Next time you are together and having fun, laughing etc..just pause and stare at him a little more than you normally would and smile. Then look away. Body language is subtle, yet very effective. Turn your whole body towards him when you are together. Play with your hair or lick your lips...yeah it is not original, but who cares...it works!!!

You are correct that being skinny does not necessarily go along with being healthy. Everyone has a predetermined weight that genetically our bodies are programed to maintain and regulated by our metabolism. We can eat right and exercise or some of us can pig out and lay around and still be the same weight! Health is not about weight, but excessive fat around the stomach is of great concern. Instead of the scale, try measuring your waist to monitor loss and gain of fat. Running is one of the quickest ways to get into shape. Walking fast is good to start with if you are not used to exercise. It takes a while to get in shape, so be patient with yourself. Stay hydrated with plenty of water or your body will not burn calories efficiently. Never diet or take diet pills. Eat a healthy protein breakfast to jump start your metabolism. Lifting weights along with aerobic excercise will jump start your weight loss, too. Do whatever is fun and matches your personality. Some people workout with a partner or in group classes, and others enjoy working out or dancing by themselves. Don't get stuck in a rut or worry about it. Any activity that is safe and gets you moving is fine. Good luck!!!

You are very welcome! Thanks for the update...it sounds like you are on a good path. Keep me posted:)

You are right that the young girl is a human in need and not just an illegal. Charity is a wonderful thing to be involved with and I am sure you will be blessed. Politically though, the ones paying for the treatment of the medical expenses of illegal immigrants and others are the working class tax payers. When you are old enough to get a job and have a paycheck you will find out how much of your check is taken by the government to fund numerous programs, and things like the medical treatment of the illegal and uninsured. You may not have anything left from your paycheck that you can afford to give to your choice of charities. Should Americans who are legal working tax-payers be forced to pay for the expenses of illegals who do not pay taxes whether or not they work and do not pay for insurance. There is much poverty in the world and within our own country. It is a problem that won't be solved easily or anytime soon. You have a compassionate heart and that is a good thing. Balance it out with a deeper look at the health care crisis in America and the financial strain illegals are putting on the middle and poor working class in your country.

This is just opinion, but less is more with either one. Arm tats are the best place and for piercings, just keep them above the neck!

Daddy knows best, listen to him.

This was mostly about her, and your focus is too much on her. I want you to think about why you are attracted to and attract the type of person you do. We all get what we seek, and it is no accident. Read the book, Getting the Love You Want, by Dr. Harville Hendrix. It will give you better insights than I can, and help you understand yourself better. You need to take this girl at her word and not hang on to wishful thinking. You cannot will her to come back to you and staying in this unhealthy mode will not attract anyone healthy in the future and you will be in the same situation over and over again. You sound very intense and this can scare people away, even if they enjoyed the intensity at first. People look for others to fill voids, and this is a human need that is not always healthy. Focus on yourself only, something you have been avoiding by focusing on her....let me know what you think after reading the book.

At fifteen you are going to have a lot of crushes and that is normal and healthy. Don't worry about it and don't beat yourself up for not feeling serious about a new relationship. It is less healthy to get too serious, so you are fine. You should always be respectful of other's feelings, but do not deny your own. If you are honest with everyone including yourself, then you will be better off. The only one you can make happy is yourself.

That is a heavy burden for you to have to carry alone. She must really trust you as a friend to tell you her secret. Eating disorders stem from having other issues and it is a way to deal with them. Yes, she is hurting herself by doing this. Encourage her to talk about it if she seems open, and not just about the disorder, but about the pain or stress she feels. Be a good friend and let her know your concern for her. We cannot make someone stop doing it, but we can let them know that we are there for them. Many who suffer from bullimia or anorexia have very little control over anything else in their lives and are resorting to the one thing they can control. For bullimics, there is guilt associated with food or self-nourishment and they want to purge the guilt with the food. You are a good friend.
http://www.emedicinehealth.com/bulimia/article_em.htm
http://www.ability.org.uk/bulimia.html

Newsflash...guys like girls of all types!!! I can't guarentee that he will be attracted to you, but I do know for fact that many guys who are themselves very good looking and well-built never were into skinny girls and actually preferred curvy big boned girls. The media promotes one idealistic crazy image of anorexia and we girls buy into that crap way too much. The sexiest thing about any woman is her confidence. Don't ever sell yourself short because you are not on the cover of Cosmopolitan. Even the models get air-brushed and sometimes they switch her body parts with another woman's photo to give her the appearance they want. It is insane! Real men prefer real women. Give it a chance, and if this one time does not work out, don't give up on yourself. The guys who are attracted to you are out there...you will find them.

Well, part of growing up is learning that our little dreams and fantasies are just that, dreams and fantasies. A boyfriend has nothing to do with your personal happiness. No one can or should be given that much power. A lot of times it is actually more difficult to have a relationship. Your mom is a terrible parent if she beat you up. You need someone to love and support you or at least to listen. You sound very intelligent despite getting bad grades, which is more about not believing in yourself than it is about being smart. You know that you need to talk to someone and correctly fear that you are overwhelming your boyfriend and might drive away the one person you have. I really feel for you. I want you to do something very radical. Start loving yourself and stop letting other people tell you what you are worth. The family has it's own problems and they are not helping you and probably will not ever. Get over it. School is about you and not about them. Rebelling is useless, because it does not work to get people who don't really care to start paying attention in a supportive way. You need to give yourself and find others who will give you real encouragement. Do not let these people or your past dictate your future. I want you to take your life back. Talk to a school counselor for starters and ask for help and support not just in getting your grades back on track, but your life. Years will begin to pass like days, and you will regret not living for yourself sooner. Don't do it for their approval, do it to make a future for yourself. Start making healthy decisions for yourself. Your boyfriend needs to remain your boyfriend, and he cannot be your counselor. Your parents are not doing their job, so you have to grow up a lot quicker I am afraid. Make some smart decisions and get yourself to a better place. Your real life has not even begun, so start planning for your future.

It would be cruel to lead her on if you know for fact she likes you a lot more than you like her. Girls get more emotionally attached and are very vulnerable to getting hurt. You would not want to use her like that.

No, because they are getting hung up on technicallities. The mom told her she was very thin and that she is concerned. Mom's do worry about their kid's health and she would not have told her that she was concerned if she thought she looked healthy. Very thin and too thin are semantically different, but the point is that the mom did not mention it for nothing. So, my best guess is that her mom is worried that she is too thin and wants her daughter to gain weight, but not too much. Young girls are supposed to gain weight as they develop and grow. Being too thin is as health threatening as being too thick. We need to focus not on weight, but on health. Rebecca's doctor would be the best judge of her health and weight.

Find someone to take over your lease and you can leave with everyone including yourself happy. Also, some managers allow early release from contract as long as the other tenants are staying there and are paying the full amount. Talk to the management anyway about the problems, and they might be helpful in getting the guys to clean up the place. Also, if there is mold, you can call the health department and they may make you leave!

Update***

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Gee do you really want to experience your first vaginal penetration with a fake "penis?" A lot of dildos/vibrators are bigger than a lot of guys by the way, sorry. Anyway, the real question is are you ready for such a monumental event in your life? Sex is not just physically invasive for a woman! Age aside, sex is emotional (especially for us females) and is most satisfying with someone we are in love with and feel safe with (especially the first time). Arm yourself with plenty of k-y and condoms, and make sure that you are really ready to go all the way. There is no taking back your first experience. It can be physically painful the first several times depending on both your anatomy and his, and whether or not you both take care and time to go slow and stay lubed up. I hope for your sake that the guy is a someone special to you and you to him.

Dump him, unless you believe it is way more complicated then that, but I would need details.

Nope, why?

Gargle with warm salt water. It is the best and safest method to relieve a sore throat. Also drink lots of cool water to stay hydrated and use a humidifier at night. Throat drops or even hard candy are temporary but keep the throat from drying out. Gargle with the warm salt water a couple times a day.

"Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person they are almost indistinguishable. To say something you value deeply to another and to have him or her value it equally by listening to it carefully and apppreciatively is the most universal way of exchanging social interest or demonstrating affection." David Augsburger, CARING ENOUGH TO HEAR AND BE HEARD.


All sincere persons will be given thoughtful examination and reply. Please be specific about your situation as it applies to your question, the applicable information and facts necessary for me to properly assess your situation and give you the benefit of my knowledge and experience, which includes: experience/education with mentoring, relationship study, self help, spirituality, poetry, literature, philosophy, psychology, color theory, teaching, parenting, and debate that will be used to your advantage. I am concerned with offering an objective and realistic perspective more than ratings, because this will help YOU. Artificial sweetness is found in diet soda, not in my advice. If you feel that I did not understand your question or need more specifics to help, please let me know, but while all truth is subjective, questioners should be mature enough to hear answers not necessarily agreed with. If you are only looking for someone to tell you just what you want to hear, then you may not be ready for my advice. I believe in personal responsibility, self and other awareness and your power and ability to recreate and redirect your own life. All our misery and joy begins and ends within ourselves, but our willingness to be open can bring the positive or negative energy we seek. If you or someone you know is open to positive help, the resources and caring individuals needed are available now.

http://www.coolnurse.com/

http://www.4woman.gov/violence/

http://www.childhelpusa.org/about/programs-and-services/childhelp-national-child-abuse-hotline-1-800-4-a-child

drug/alcohol abuse help go here: http://www.4drugabuse.com/addiction-treatment.html

http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/1800-273-TALK(8255)
The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is a 24-hour, toll-free suicide prevention service available to anyone in suicidal crisis. If you need help, please dial 1-800-273-TALK (8255). You will be routed to the closest possible crisis center in your area. With over 120 crisis centers across the country, our mission is to provide immediate assistance to anyone seeking mental health services. Call for yourself, or someone you care about. Your call is free and confidential. -----------------------------------

http://www.kidscrisis.com/

http://www.teenadviceonline.org/gethelp/numbers.html

You can call the National Sexual Assault Hotline, operated by RAINN, 24 hours a day, free & confidential. 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)

For info. on birth control etc.
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/

The Girls and Boys Town National Hotline is the only hotline that children and parents can call with any problem at any time:
Open 24-hours a day, every day at 1-800-448-3000

Spanish-speaking counselors available; translation services for 100+ languages

TTY line available for the hearing-impaired at 1-800-448-1833

Counselors can help find services and agencies in the callers' local community

Help at the End of the Line
Callers talk to highly-trained, professional counselors who listen and give "right now" answers. They're sympathetic people who have expertise dealing with these and other problems:

depression

suicide

running away

parenting problems

relationship concerns

physical, sexual, and emotional abuse

chemical dependency

mental health

anger

aggressive behavior

Toll Free
Operated by Father Flanagan's Boys' Home, hotline services are free of charge to every parent and child in all 50 states, the District of Columbia, U.S. territories, and Canada.

Toll-Free: 1-800-448-3000

http://www.sex-ed101.org/links.html

http://www.anorexicweb.com/anorexicweb.html

Report Child Abuse
Childhelp USA National Child Abuse Hotline
1-800-4-A-CHILD TDD: 1-800-2-A-CHILD



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All our motivations stem from two: Love or Fear. When in turmoil or indecision, ask yourself from which of these you are acting. If you want an honest response outside of yourself, you need to first be honest within yourself. Bless you on your journey!

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