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I'm not sure.
Okay, so after my past relationship. I'm really not expecting anything good or long lasting right now.
So I liked this girl. (I'm a girl too)
She's nice, we have things in common and she's easy to talk to about things. Whenever I'm AROUND her.. I know i like her and I want to kiss her.
But whenever she's not here (we don't go to the same school yet) I feel unattached. Is that bad? I wouldn't cheat, I just have little crushes.
I'm starting to like this guy. (Don't say, you think I'm not bi anymore) He gives me butterflies and he's also nice too.
I'm not sure what to do though.
I have feelings for my girlfriend but then I don't.
We haven't been going out for long. Maybe like a week and I don't think I want to break up with her. I don't want to hurt her. I want her to HURT me. :[ Doesn't that sound weird?
I doubt anything could happen with this guy.. I'm not sure what to do with my girlfriend though.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Put simply, love sucks. It completely messes with our heads and hearts, and makes us think we're losing our minds when we're actually just being normal.
It is certainly possible to feel closer to someone when you're actually there with them, and then not so much when you're apart. It is also entirely possible to have crushes on people when you love someone else, or to find someone attractive when you're with a different person. All of these things are totally normal and it's all part of why love sucks. (But it's worth it!)
I have a thought about what's going on with you, and it's based on personal experience. I was dating someone once for over a year, and I started to get bored with the relationship. I wanted it to end, but the problem was that I really, really liked and respected her and didn't want to hurt her. So I can totally see where you're coming from when you say you don't want to hurt her - you want HER to hurt YOU. I'm not saying that this is how it is with you, but in my case I felt guilty about having lost my stronger feelings for her and I wanted her to break up with me so that I would be suitably punished for it.
I also started feeling an attraction to another girl at the time, and I think that I felt even worse about that. So I tried to deny it, and went through the motions with my existing girlfriend. Without going into detail, let's just say that it ended very badly, everyone got hurt because of me, and the girlfriend who was also my best friend was lost to me forever.
In retrospect, I can see that the solution would have been to simply be honest with myself and everyone around me. I owed it to my girlfriend to tell her that I felt the relationship was stagnating, and ask if she felt we had a future. I should have admitted the reality of my feelings for girl #2, not ignored them until they became impossible to ignore. I could have spared a lot of bad feelings if only I hadn't been so concerned with sparing a lot of bad feelings.
However, the main difference between you and me is that you've been seeing your girlfriend for a week, not a year. I'd say give it a little more time, think hard about your feelings and be brutally honest with yourself about them. It's about two weeks until the New Year - give it until then before making any big decisions.
In addition, I think you should tell your girlfriend that your feelings are uncertain. If you're just coming off a bad relationship, I'm sure she'll understand. Maybe she can help you figure out your own heart better than you can alone. In any event, if you do end up breaking up, at least that way it doesn't come from totally out of the blue.
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Greetings.
I think all you can really do is sit down and think and try to figure out who you want to be with, if anyone.
About your girlfriend hurting you, you might just be feeling guilty for liking someone else and wanting her to hurt you so you can break up with her for a reason, to make it easier on yourself.
I don't think you should ever stay with someone out of obligation or guilt. If your heart isn't in it, then there's no point.
Basically follow your heart, if you do end up breaking up with this girl, tell her the truth, explain to her why, that it isn't her, it's just that you didn't think it was fair to be with her when you're thinking of someone else.
However, I think it's pretty much normal to feel unattached when someone isn't there. You might just be an unobsessive person, you care for her but you're not completely infatuated.
I say give it more time, you will become more aware with what you really want.
You could ask your girlfriend for a break for a while and explain that you just need to sort somethings out before you two end up getting any deeper into things.
I'd suggest NOT getting it together with this guy during this break otherwise things might just get more complicated.
Just take sometime and try to figure things out.
Then make your choice when you're sure.
You'll either realise how much you like being with this girl or that you're not that fused.
And I dont think it's a case of "am I gay or straight?", because I personally believe you like who you like and it doesnt matter what labels the people fall under (age, race, sex, etc.)
Hope I've been of some help.
Any questions, just ask.
Good luck!
Shelagh
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At fifteen you are going to have a lot of crushes and that is normal and healthy. Don't worry about it and don't beat yourself up for not feeling serious about a new relationship. It is less healthy to get too serious, so you are fine. You should always be respectful of other's feelings, but do not deny your own. If you are honest with everyone including yourself, then you will be better off. The only one you can make happy is yourself.
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Maybe you should just waite a little longer. Give yourself time before you choose.
Hope you like my advice
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