about

I'm Jessie. I've been on here on and off for about 7 years. I'm 22 :) I am currently in my final year of college studying English and new media
I'm from Ireland I dye my hair way too much. I've been blonde,brown,brown with blonde,black,red,and blonde again!I love helping people I found advicenators when I was just 15 and didn't understand the world! I feel I have matured with this site. The people on here are amazing and I love coming on here in my spare time to be there for people in need. I won't tell you what you want to hear because that's not advice it's just fooling yourself. I try to help in whatever way I can I try not to judge and try to relate to a situation if I can. :) If you don't like honesty then you won't like my advice.
If you're kind enough to rate me please leave a comment letting me know if I helped! I love hearing that I have!
Please try to use proper grammar and be coherent.


I have been featured 4 times. :)

advice

19/f

my bf is going away traveling for a little while and i was thinkin of givin him a really cute present. we love spooning together so I was goin to get 2 spoons and give them to him but thats kinda lame. how do i make it into a nice meaningful presnet, not just giving him 2 spoons but themselves, that means nothing. :S

thatss a nice idea,but i can see your point by just handing him two spoons, maybe if you got them ingraved or something?
with the date you started going out together and both your names or something like that so they have a bit more sentimental value?
thats really all I can think of to do with a spoon haha sorry I cant be of more help
=]

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i have hard time trusting people and hard time opening up but i think i like the way i am cause i get to protect myself a lot, but at times i wish i had someone to trust and share my secrets with and it makes me sad and lonely but something tells me not to trust anyone and keep things myself because i feel like if i do share things with other people i end up getting hurt like i always do what should i do about this trust issue? its really hurting me but at the same time im okay with it when people ask me personal questions i just think they just trying to get information or they gonna blab it to someone else so i always lie AND i always think people are lying to me, it hurts when people confide me with their secrets and problems but i cant do the same to others

I totally understand what you are saying,you are right in a way to be aware of who you tell things too and trust thats a good thing but you need not be too over protective try to loosen up abit and try not being so parionied.
just be careful of WHAT you tell to people not who it is. distunguish what you think is okay to tell and what you feel is best kept to yourself
because no matter how much you think you trust a person people back bite sometimes without even realising and stuff gets around so you are right to be careful just dont be overly careful or you will end up pushing people away,you need to find a balance.

I agree with the previous answer below me in saying all you need is one very close friend or family member whom you feel you can really trust =]
hope i helped in anyway

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How do you say or imply to a guy you like that you wish he’d give you a chance without seeming desperate, making things more awkward, or pushing him away that much more? I had told the guy that I like him a while ago (long story) and we were friends before that so things were awkward when I told him but we’re still friends, it’s just not the same though. We barely talked about it and he never really gave me a clear response and although I know I should assume that he doesn’t see me that way, I still hate that nothing was made clear to me. Two of our friends (both who are girls, just saying) have tried to gauge a reaction from him about it on their own but they couldn’t really get anything out of him. He’s hard to read and he’s not one to talk about how he feels, as most guys are. I’m planning to talk to him and just sort of clear the air about this because I’m sick of bottling a lot of things up (because I’m a very open person, but with him I’ve been scared to talk to him about it but now I just want to talk about it because this “elephant in the room” has to be talked about in some form, it was ridiculously hard for me to tell him and I’m not going to let this be disregarded and forgotten and continue to let things be awkward). When I am talking to him and trying to clear the air, I still want to incorporate somehow that I wish he’d give me a chance, like a last glimmer of hope, because I’m not totally sure what I’m planning to say will allow him to pick up on that. My main goal of talking to him is clearing the air and just finally saying what I’ve been wanting to say, but I still really like him and still want to include that I want him to give me a chance, I just don’t know how to be subtle about it, or if I should even mention it at all. help!

okay firstly wait a go for putting yourself out there like that you should be proud because it takes alot of guts to do something like that and its always really hard. espically when you get the response you have been given.
its totally not fair to you the way hes going about it and your right the least you deserve is a clear response he should realise how hard it was for you to do that.

However I dont think you should be subtle about this you have bottled alot of it up as youve said so i think you should come right out
and explain to him how you didnt intend to make thing awkward between you two just you wanted to tell him how you felt and that you understand if he doesnt feel the same but that you wish he would tell you because then you will know and you can try move on and the two of you can try to get back to how things were,ask him to tell you straight out what his feelings are,if he says he wants to stay friends ask him his reasons

(if he says something like he doesnt want to ruin the friendship then thats ridiculous because who better to have a relationship with then your friend someone who knows you a long time wouldnt hurt you etc..and plus things have already been made awkward by not even giving it a chance tell him he'l never know unless you guys try)

i cant predict exactly what he will say though, if he says he doesnt feel the same for you then i guess you will just have to try move on because you cant make someone give you a chance,if he has any sense at all he will I hope =]

good luck, hope I helped in any way and that everything works out for you,

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Someone told me once that you can tell how big a guy is from there foot. but then i heard it wasnt true. then someone else told me if you look from there wrist to the tip of there middle fingr thats usually how long it is wen its hard. is this true? someone please help me. is there an actual way to find out how big someone is?

I think alot of theese are just old wives tails and stories,you can never really tell or guess the size from theese things the only real way to find out is to look for yourself!
sorry I couldnt be more help

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me and my boyfriend have been together for almost 6 months. we still havent really made out. and just recently weve started giving longer pecks and way more. you understand? how do i get one of those long pecks into a makeout? and how do i get him to give me a hickey. i know there ugly. but for some reason i really want one. i never had one from a boyfriend before. what do i do? just hug him with my neck by his mouth? please give me advice were new to all this. and i want to show it instead of actually saying give me a hickey. i just want him to do it! thanks

hey
I totally understand what you mean, okay to get it into a makeout just hold it for longer and make some movement with your hands like if they are around his neck while your kissing rub them up and down his neck and around his ears and up into his hair,back down again and onto his shoulders down to his chest and just rest them there,this is what i usually do when i want it to pick up and move further abit and it works for me so you could try that =]
Okay so to get him to give you a hickey, tilt you neck alot to the side while your making out to give him a hint if nothings happening stop kissing maybe and swing your hair back to reveal more of your neck and smile at him then go back to kissing it might be more of an indication.
it all depends on how he likes to make out though some guys just automaticly go and kiss a girls neck without thinking others have to be guided.
if this doesnt work,then i think the only way is to actually ask him! hopefully you wont have to though =]
hope this helped in anyway and good luck

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I'm a horrible procrastinator!

It wasn't always this way; when I was younger I would do my homework as soon as I got home, even on Friday nights. As I grew older, that obviously changed, but the last few months have been exceptionally terrible. I can't seem to motivate myself! I make to-do lists, and always feel great when I accomplish things, but I still leave things until the last minute. How can I break this habit?

I can sometimes be the same when it comes to leaving things on the long finger.
what you have to do is think okay look il have so much free time after i get it over and done with.
and the faster you do it the faster its finished rather then leaving it and constantly thinking oh yea ive to do that then it just causes alot of stress,motivate yourself with the thought of the relaxed and acomplished feeling youl have after doing it.
find the engery to do whatever it is first by getting in the mood physch yourself up make yourself cheery by listening to music or doing something to give u a drive to do it first.
you have to nip the procrastination in the bud before it escalates and gets out of control to the point where you completely stress yourself out and things start to pile up
hope i helped in anyway =]

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I cant talk to my mom about anything, I cant even talk to her about my period because I dont fell comfortable. She was like the perfect child when she was growing up, she never wore a thong or make up, she always goes to church and has never swore, so I dont feel comfortable asking her. I couldnt ask my dad either because he just doesnt understand, I get really embaressed when ppl can see my underwear line so will you please help me and give me some pointers on how to ask her and how to get a conversation going.
Thanks a Tons!!
P.S. I dont usually get along with my mom either

I can understand talking to ur mom about things like that is always uncomfortable espicially if shes not really open to things like it.
okay what you need to do is sit her down tell her you want to talk about something thats important to you and you want her to hear you out on what you have to say and explain that its a new generation and times are different,tell her why you feel the need for a thong and how you feel embarrased most importantly if she doesnt agree dont get angry and throw a fit.
stay calm and argue your case maturly..if she still doesnt see reason maybe you have a cousin sister friend or aunt? anyone else who could be able to help or even talk to your mom for you make her see sense hope it goes well for you =] hope i helped in the slightest!
good luck =]

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How can something be New and Improved?
If it's new there has never been anything before it, and if it's improved there had to be something before it to improve!

Lol its just an expression i guess no use wondering over it, i always ask myself that question though.

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ok, im a 14year old guy and i watch porn every day. I always wonder what a naked girl looks like , but i onlyu find 18+. is this normal for guys to be obssesed for naked girls?

totally normal in my opinion your going through puberty and having urges nearly every guy has =] heh

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Ok I am in the 7th grade and all of my friends have boyfriends, I can get boyfriends but they arent my age.. I usually go out with older boys as in 9th graders. My friends think that it is gross, do you think it is gross?

Okay firstly, i know it may seem like it now but having a boyfriend isnt the most important thing in the world.
and please dont just get one just because you feel you have to because all your friends do because you dont.
go out with someone if you want to and when your ready,and dont settle yourself for anyone just for the sake of having a boyfriend..you deserve better then that.
not its not "gross" but please make sure your matrue enough to go out with someone older like that and be aware,and make sure they are not just using you and trying to take advantage of you!dont be naiive is what im saying and as long as your sure they care for your and respect you then I guess its okay. =]

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please. i am a christian teen and it is so hard to resist certain things. ok. i look at certain things on the computer and i am ashamed. i shouldn't be doing that. what should i do to resist the temptation or just stop the addiction all in all?
please help me!!!

Hey there,
okay what your doing is totally normal and everybody does it whether they choose to admit it or not is another thing.
but please dont feel like your doing something wrong because honestly your not dont be stuck in that old christian way of thinking.
im christian too but thinking like that is ridiculous and is how people were made feel years ago!
you need to change your frame of mind and how you see things as right and wrong trust me,its not a sin dont beat yourself up over something so innocent. =]

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22/f

Hi, i work out a lot and i am not the curviest girl. However, I have hips and a booty. See my problem is a woman told me that all people who have abs or a six pack have no shape in their waist.

It really bothered me because since i am black it is assumed that I am supposed to have a big butt and large breast. I am the opposite, I am a big b cup small c cup and I have a decent sized booty. I mean i wear a size 0-2, I have always been a slender girl. My measurements are 29-23-36. But some of the people I am around think that i am too small or have no shape. Some even say that i am less of a black girl because I am not thick enough to be considered a true black girl. I didn't know that it would bother me so much. It is really getting to me. I work out and take pride in my body, but it is a bit discouraging to hear these things. Help me please!!!!!

everybody is different in their own way and people come in all shapes an sizes
never be made feel like you should fit in with a stereotype.
your perfect the way you are dont listen to people who say you are "less of a black girl"
thats rubbish and a completely ridiculous thing to say because fact is NOT everyone looks the same and if we did how boring would it be.
not every black girl looks like that!
try not to care what people think of you and be happy in your self and YOUR body after all its yours and nobody elses.
they are more then likely just jealous of your what sounds like an awesome figure. =]
honestly dont let people like that get to you they obviously have poor self estem in themselves if they try and knock yours like that.
dont change yourself for anyone or to fit in with anything unless its what you want to do
you are totally right to take pride in your body do not let people like that discourage you!
I hope I helped in anyway =]

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Hey I'm 13/F and I love soccer, I really do, it is a passion of mine. But see I never really got to choose soccer. My family kind of chose it for me. I am the youngest of four and all of my siblings have been on the soccer team in highschool and I want to be too. But 37 freshman are trying out... That's just the freshman. I'm kind of close to the coach and hes kind of the one who encouraged to try out but I'm still really stressed and scared. I know I'm good enough and I love soccer but that's so many girls!! My chances aren't great. And I dont even know if soccer is the sport for me but I've never been able to try any others and its too late now. Help me please!

Im not exactly sure what your asking for help with?
it seems to me like soccer is your sport..based on the facts that you said you love it and its a passion of yours &+your good at it.
be positive..and try to relax you have every good as chance and equal chance of making it as those girls so try not to feel so threatend I bet each an every other girl is feeling the same way as you! believe it or not.
try and be more confident.
your only 13 its definately not too late to take up another sport along with soccer maybe it is to try out for them this year but dont write anything off theres always next year.
and dont give up on soccer just because your scared you wont make it,if you did that with everything in life you would never get anywhere!
so keep your chin up be possitive and just enjoy playing the sport =]
theres no doubt in my mind that you wont get picked!
good luck =]
Jess.

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i cant tell you how many pairs of panties i go through just from vaginal discharge!!

is there any way i could make it cease?

thanks!

Okay well this all depends,
have you started your period yet?..because if you havnt its normal for you to have alot of it leading up to right before you start..and theres not much you can do about that.
on the other hand if you have your period and get alot of it, its probably totally normal everyones body is different and does different things some have more then others.
Just make sure you keep clean and fresh really i dont know of any ways to stop it! you could consult your doctor about it also make sure its not a thick creamy white discharge because this is a classic sign of vaginal infection! and if so you should defenatly go check it out.
sorry i couldnt have been more help

Jess

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k so ive liked this guy since i was in grade 8 and now im finishing up grade 10 and i switched skools this year because i moved but i still hang out with people from there and i have a lot of friends there and i just cant forget about this guys and hes really good friends with one of my friends so how do i get him to notice me i really like him and cant get over him so what should i dooo helppp me

Okay in my opinion you should defenatly grab the bull by the horn and go for it!
youve wasted all this time liking him and not doing anything about it so you should get to know him more through your friend tell your friend you like him and maybe arrange for you all to hang out sometime then just be yourself talk to him and get to know him =] swap numbers etc..
or you could add him on myspace if he has it and start commenting him etc =]
you have nothing to loose! =]
if you dont do anything about it you will always have yourself wondering what might have happend.
good luck! hope i helped in a anyway and hope it works out

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Hi! (this is a bit long, sorry)
My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 3 months. My ex-boyfriend who i broke up with in very early February because of verbal abuse, disrespect, and over affection. My ex. is my current boyfriends best friend. Just great i know.
It's not like i hate my ex boyfriend. I've tried to be nice and i've had him over for movie nights with my other friends, but he always causes trouble, is disrespectful, and is mean to me or insults what movies i pick out. (actually that was only one time, because after that my mom saw how destroyed i was and wouldn't allow me to invite him over, which i was happy to hear) He was still verbally abusive until i told my parents last Tuesday, and so far we haven't really talked. He sent an apology note, and i told him i apriciated the apology, but was not ready to forgive him because i still didn't and don't trust him. He was nice when i first started dating him then because mean and abusive.
My boyfriend is having a movie night tonight and let me know he's inviting me and my ex. (which i respect letting me know that he's invited my ex, but i really wish he wouldn't do that.) I understand they are best friends and i don't think what happened between me and my ex should change their relationship, but i wish he would not invite me and my ex over at the same time AND in the same week that he sent a cruel text and it drew a line with my parents. I really love my boyfriend, but really dislike my ex. No, i've never hated my ex, i just strongly dislike him.
This is also my other problem, none of my other friends like my ex. Just my current boyfriend likes him. My other friends and I can't wait for my ex to move (at the end of the school year) We are all just polite to him. (oh all my friends are guys except for 4 of them, and we have a group of 13 people) So my real question is should i tell my boyfriend about my ex and my history or how it went from good to worse? I don't want to tell him because then i'm being mean about his best friend, but at the same time i don't think he gets what my ex put me through.
~Sky (13/f)
ps. Thank you so much for taking time to read and answer this question!

Okay In my opinion I think you should explain to your boyfriend the reasons why you dislike your ex.
you say you dont want to be mean but you wont be doing that by letting him know how you feel and what happend unless you do it in a very nasty way which you wouldnt be.
In fact he should respect you for it because for 13 your handling of this situation is really mature.
tell him your not out to cause trouble between the two of them just that youd prefer not to be around him and your ex at the same time that it makes you feel uncomfortable and that you've tried to be tolerant but he just keeps being rude and abusive & nobody should have to put up with that.
maybe even your boyfriend could have word or two with him?and ask him why he is being that way.
maybe mention that its not just you that feels that way the rest of the group do too so he doesnt think you just have a grudge against him.
Just be calm and tell him exactly how you feel without being nasty and he should understand I almost garuntee you he will =)
Hope I helped in some way && I hope everything gets sorted and works out good luck!

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hey i liked the advice you've given me before :) soo..

i'm bringing my ex with me on vacation in july. we broke up in april, but we both decided that we were still gonna stay good friends and see where things go from there. i'm still in love with him. he broke it with me because he said his feelings changed, but he said he still wanted me in his life, and i know he means it too. we're going to myrtle beach together and do you think theres a chance of him falling back in love if we're like on the beach at night flirting and hanging out? what do you think of this situation? and what things can i do to make it as romantic as possible. i would do absolutely anything to get back with this guy.

17/f, 17/m
thanks so much for your time.

oh and we were together for about 9 months, if that helps. and we met in the summer and starting dating in the summer.

Heya=] glad you did.. i remember this situation alright.
okay well i think there is actually a strong chance of his feelings changing again i mean if he was really not that keen on getting back he wouldnt want to go on holidays with you.
well in my opinion, i think maybe he might have lost the spark and this is the perfect way of re kindling the romance..
make it as fun as possible like ask him if he wants to go for a walk on the beach durin the night and be really flirty tackle him even if you get me haha
make sure you look good so he wont be able to resist
another thing you could try but its really risky is to flirt with another guy and see how he reacts..but that could backfire.
however you shouldnt be too pushy if you go away and he sets it straight by saying he really does just wanna be friends your gonna have to do your best to respect that as much as it might hurt and try be his friend.
hope i helped in anyway =]
good luck! really hope it works out for you && him keep me updated

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So I did ask a question about this before but this is a lot shorter and not exactly askign the same thing...

One of my really good friends sent be a bumper sticker on Facebook the day before yesterday. The message that went along with it said something like, "Just a heads up! Please come back!" and the bumper sticker said "I miss you... the old you."

I've already established that yes, I have changed, but this girl is immature and I did mature. We don't share the same interests anymore and her sense of humor really bugs me. I'm willing to still be friends and hang out with her ocassionally, but I'm pretty sure she doesn't like my personality anymore.

Anyway. She sent that to me and I ignored it, figuring that it was immature and a bitchy thing to do and if she really wanted to talk to me about it, she'd at least send me a message or something. Nope. Yesterday in school she was distant, not making eye contact. She sent me the same one last night. That annoyed the crap out of me. Today in school she flat out ignored me.

16/f Should I initiate conversation or ignore this? Its all so immature and I feel like she should really be the one to start the conversation if she wants to talk about it but I feel guilty/mean ignoring it.

Thanks for your opinions :)

If she doesnt like your personality anymore thats her problem,by maturing and changing you havnt done anything wrong. and you dont deserve getting that message twice espcially.
She should have talked to you about it,but she might not know how to go about it because she certainly hasnt gone about it in the right way so far.
i think you should ask her why she is ignorning you tell her exactly what you have said here that your willing to still hang out and be her friend if she can take you for as you are now and tell her you dont like the way shes treating you.
but this is entirely up to you if you want to leave it until she does approach you first,but id want to know why she feels the need to be this way.
hope I helped in anyway =]
good luck

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So basically to make the long story short, I recently broke up with my boyfriend of a year and a half, because he wouldn't find a job, get his license, make time for me, and stopped caring for our relationship. To be honest I am very hurt, and I miss him very much -- I'd die for him. But I felt this was the right thing to do right now.

Well in the past week, all I have been having were these dreams about he and I. One was about him and I breaking up then he got over me the next day and found someone else (which didn't happen), when where he cheated on me (didn't happen either), when where we fought and he broke up with me (didn't happen), and then just last night I had a decent one actually, when he and I were together, just us, having a great time on a road trip together (didn't happen). I had a couple more but I don't remember those, but I do remember in most of these I woke up crying..

I just don't know what to do. Can someone help me, please? =[

I would say this is definately your subconcious thinking about him.
your missing him laods and hes probably always on your mind at the moment so it would make sense for you to dream about him this happens me whenever i have something or someone on my mind.
its totally normal though.
maybe its your subconcious telling you that you want him back in way?
maybe think about giving it another go talk to him and see how he feels explain that you still care alot for him (from what i interperate.) and youd like to make it work if he would too? but tell him only if hes willing to put his heart into it fully and giving it another go.
this is totally up to you though =]
however,if you dont want to get back with him dont worry the dreams will go when your over him itl just take some time.
im just advicing you on what i can make of the dreams hope i helped in anyway and that everything works out for you.

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Ok, so when I flirt with a guy, sometimes I likke make fun of them for like stupid stuff. & I'm not sure if they like it or not. Do guys like it when girls are nice and happy all the time? or what? I'm so confused with everything.

I sometimes do this too when i flirt with a guy just light teasing is fine =]
just make sure you dont over do it and get to the point where you insult them and make it known your just teasing though most of the time id say its fairly obvious unless your being snide and nasty which i wouldnt say you are =]
its good to get the balance right be nice too it depends on the guy though some may find it like really attractive others not everyone has different ways of flirting but im sure your way is fine dont be confused.
hope i helped,

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