I work as a Customer Laison Complaints Case Officer at a major insurance company, where I have worked for 3 years. I left school when I was 17, as I had some very bad experiences at school and wanted to see what the real world had to offer.
I now live with my boyfriend of 3 years and spend my spare time reading, writing, socialising with friends or just watching some TV.
Times are still hard and I'm trying to cope with various health problems on a daily basis but I'm working my way through things and really want to stop it from getting me down.
I dream of some day going to America and watching a real baseball game (we don't have that at all in the UK) and perhaps finding a job I find creatively fulfilling. Until then, I'm happy trying to be me and making the best of what I have.
Website: My Space
Gender: Female
Location: Dorset, UK
Occupation: Customer Liaison Case Officer
Age: 21
MSN: hottchickie@hotmail.com
Member Since: January 28, 2006
Answers: 1016
Last Update: March 5, 2009
Visitors: 65027
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Tomorrow is a trip with my friends to a really fun theme park. We've been planning it for a long time, as a celebration of our graduation. Now I'm on my period and I really don't want to have to miss the trip! It was my idea and it's going to be so fun! Mom says I can just avoid water rides and I'll be fine but the water rides are the best part!!! And I usually feel really gross & sick when I'm on my period. Besides, everyone will pressure me to do it & call me no fun if I won't ride them. I'm embarrassed to say "oh I'm on my period" in front of my guy friends. That's nasty. I'd use a tampon but those never work for me. I leak every freakin' time! So I don't know whether I should skip it or go & feel left out & sick. I'm so afraid the day will be diappointing. I hate being a girl. (link)
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Unfortunately, this close to the date, there is really nothing else you can do. However, for future reference, you can get a pill from your Doctor that will delay your period. You start taking it a few days before you are due and then take one every day until you are ready for your period.
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My stools are generally of flowing consistency(almost liquid form).What
does it indicate of the health of my digestive system.What are the
remedies.
(link)
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If you don't have any other symptoms along the lines of sickness or a temperature, you might have a food allergy, Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS) or another form of digestive illness, in which case you should speak to your doctor about testing.
Initial tests for illnesses such as Coeliac Disease and Crohn's Disease involve blood tests and an endoscopy (normally a gastroscopy, where you are sedated and a small camera on a flexible wire is passed through the oesophegus and stomach, into the small intestine.
For most illnesses such as this, aversion to the foods that upset you is the only way to relieve symptoms but it is usually a life long commitment. IBS can be treated but it is a question of finding the appropriate medication to suit you.
The first thing to do, if it sounds as though you may have something along these lines is to speak to your doctor and s/he will arrange the necessary tests for you.
If you have had the sickness/temperature aspect, just make sure you drink plenty of fluids for now and don't eat any solid food until you are better.
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My breasts hurt a little... mostly the right one. I'm not really sure why. My boyfriend was groping a bit last night but he wasn't doing it hard. I don't know... could it also be my bra? The one I was wearing today is a little bigger than what I usually wear. (link)
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It might just be that because you were wearing a bra that was a little too loose, the movement has just made it hurt a little. Don't worry, this is perfectly normal. However, you need to make sure you always wear a correctly fitting bra. I can't stress the importance of this enough. If you do have any doubts at all about sizing, most underwear shops offer a measuring service and you don't have to stand around half naked to do it.
Another possibility is that breats tend to feel very sore around the time of your period.
If there are any other symptoms, such as a lump anywhere in the breast or under the arm, if the nipple has become inverted or if there is any fluid leakage then you need to see a doctor as soon as possible.
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how do you add someone to your favorites? (link)
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There are different buttons depending on the format of someone's Advice Column. You need to click on their name to get to their Advice Column and then either at the top of the page or down the left hand side, there will be a button that says "Make Favourite" or "Add As A Friend". Click on this and it will add them to your list of favourites.
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My boyfriend been asking me to do Oral for a while now and I finally started doing it. But he holds my head and make me choke and he even get on top of me and put it in my mouth. I don't know anything about this because everything I have done sexually I have done it with him, He taught me everything about sex. But is this a normal for Oral Sex. I NEED MALES TO ANSWER THIS QUESTION ALSO. (link)
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Yes that is pretty normal and a lot of women don't like it actually!!
However, if you aren't comfortable with it, you need to tell him this. Sex of any kind is always going to be a big deal because it is very open and intimate and if you want it to be good, you need to tell him what you are and are not comfortable with. So tell him you don't feel happy with him holding your head and so on and try to work out another way of doing it so that you are both happy.
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okay do yall have any good jokes..for some reason my english teacher wants everyone to tell him a good joke tommorow in class! It has to be appropriate and well id like it to be some what funny i dont want to seem like a loser! But ill rate high do you guys too (link)
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This is one I originally saw on a birthday card but I love it!!
A frog goes into a bank, and asks to take out a loan. The cashier, who has the unfortunate name of Miss Patricia Whack, starts to take him through the application form. Everything is fine until she discovers he has nothing to offer as security.
"Don't worry," he tells her, "My father is Mick Jagger - he will see to it you get paid back."
"I'm sorry," she replies, "but I can't accept that. Don't you have anything you can offer as security?"
"Well, I do have this." The frog takes out of his packet a small, cheap, china cat. Patricia takes it to her supervisor and explains the situation.
"So," she concludes, holding out the china cat, "I don't know what this is, or what to tell this customer."
"Isn't it obvious?" the supervisor asks, "It's a nick-nack, Patty Whack: give the frog a loan - his old man's a Rolling Stone."
There is also this one I nicked from a birthday card...
Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson are camping together. When they go to sleep, Sherlock says, 'Tell me what you can see when you're looking up?'
'Thousands of stars,' says Watson.
'And what's your conclusion from all this?'
Dr Watson starts to think. 'If I consider it from astrological aspects,' he says slowly, 'I must assume that there are millions and millions of stars and galaxies in the universe. From psychological points of view I conclude that we're so infinitely small in comparison with God's overall creation. And if meteorology is concerned, I would say that we can expect fine weather tomorrow. What's your opinion?'
'Watson,' Holmes says. 'Our tent has been stolen.'
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This weekend I'm going on a date with my best friend (haha, I know) and he's taking me to center city, philadelphia and we're seeing a show, eating at a nice (expensive)place, and going shopping around town. I need some tips on what to wear, how to present myself, but MAINLY the proper etiquette for eating a nice place, and the show... I don't need dating tips, I just need to learn how to act like a PROPER YOUNG LADY, because I was never taught manners, and my friend is totally brought up well and he's very very proper. Thank you! (link)
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NEVER cross your legs at any point (as in place one over the top of the other). Always use your cutlery from the outside and work your way in. Don't talk with your mouth full or eat with your mouth open. Don't put elbows or arms on the table, especially while you are eating and whatever you do, don't belch! Put the napkin/serviette on your lap. Don't tuck it into the neck of your dress/top. Don't slouch at the dinner table or at the show. Speak with a voice that is soft and never raise it. Don't whoop or cheer at the end of the show unless your date also does it. Wear something demure. Something that goes to around knee length and doens't show a lot of cleavage if you wear a dress. If you don't wear a dress, do not wear jeans or trousers. Wear a smart, plain skirt and a blouse or other smart top. If there is anything on the menu that you can't understand because it is foreign, tell him what sort of foods you like and ask him to order for you or ask for an explanation of what something that sounds good really is. It's not worth risking ending up with something truly disgusting because you don't want to admit you can't understand the menu! Finally, when you have finished eating, don't wipe your mouth with your hand if you think you have food round it. Use the serviette by dabbing, not wiping.
Those are all the points I can think of but please also remember that you are going on this date with him because he already likes you as you are. The only thing you need to worry about now is being yourself and having a good time.
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okay lets say your boyfrined is like sad/depressed about something..and it effects you to were you also sad...
what is that called? (link)
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It means that you are empathetic. You can empathise with what the other person is feeling.
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my boy friend asking me for a date with sex but i am not intrested in useing condoms to have sex and even he is not intrested in useing it but we have 3 more years to get marry my friend said that after a week from the prieod and before a week from a period we should not have sex remaining days are peerfect for haveing sex with out geting pregenent ist true? and i have one question after haveing sex how to conform that we are pregenent with the help of periods (link)
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I'm afraid that your friend is wrong. You can get pregnant at any point if you have unprotected sex, whether it is just before, after or during your period or halfway through your cycle.
If you want to have sex without a condom and you know for a fact that neither you or he have an infection or disease that can be transmitted through sex (I would recommend that you both have tests done at your local family planning clinic or doctor's surgery to make sure), then you can ask your doctor to put you on The Pill. As long as you follow the directions for The Pill exactly, it should be around 99.9% effective as a form of contraception.
If you want confirmation of pregnancy with the help of your periods then wait for you to skip one. If are more than a week late for your period around 3 weeks to a month after having unprotected sex, you could well be pregnant. However, the best way to confirm this is with a pregnancy test.
I hope this answers your questions. If you need any more advice, please let me know.
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First of all, thank you very much for the answers you gave me. They really helped.
Okay. I am pretty sure that I do not want to go to college. This may seem off topic, but I love romance languages. I want to become fluent in Spanish, Portuguese, and Italian. I may want to work for a translating company, and I desire to live in Portugal, Italy, Spain, or South America. Do you think that there are translating companies that do not require college degrees? I thought about moving from country to country, becoming fluent in the country I live in and then move to another. What do you think?
I just really don't want to go to college. My mom will be disappointed in me, though. Also, from what you have told me, you aren't suffering or anything like that because you decided to not go to college. But I still have doubts. Like what if I decide to not go, and then I become poor? I could always go to college later, but it would be harder. I also don't have great people skills (I'm sort of shy).
I'm sorry if I'm bothering you. Your answers are much appreciated. (link)
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I do like your idea and I personally would probably quite enjoy the same thing. However, I highly suspect that you would be required to have a degree in the languages they would like you to translate. The fact is, if you were to be a translator, you would need to be the best of the best, fluent in whatever language it may be you wish to translate into English. Say you went to live in Spain for a year or two. You might pick up on some of the language but it would take a very long time to be fluent. You can live in a country for twenty years plus without becoming fluent because you really need to learn the ins and outs of the language to be fluent. Then of course, you would move onto the next country and try to become fluent in the language there.
What I am trying to say is that in theory it is a very good idea, but unless you had a lot of money to burn in the meantime, I'm afraid I doubt that it would work. Sorry to say that but realistically, it would be very difficult. The only way it might work is if you were to obtain a degree in one language, become a translator for the country from which the language originates and then study a different language at the same time.
I understand you not wanting to go to College. In my last year at school, the very idea of staying on to finish my A levels and going to university was unbearable. But you're right to be thinking so much about it because it is a huge decision.
I know you're concerned about how your Mum would feel about it but try looking at it from this perspective. Would she rather spend a LOT of money (we all know this higher level of education doesn't come cheaply!) on an education you aren't interested in and will only work half hearted at or save the money until you really have an idea what you want to do and feel ready to work really hard for it? If you decide you don't want to go, or at least don't want to go right now, I would suggest you put it to her this way. You're doing everyone a favour by not going into a situation that you don't want to be in and that will waste their hard earned money. If they get upset, please understand it is because they want the best for you and in their opinion, the best means going to College.
If you decide not to go to College, you may end up poor. Then again, if you do go to College you may end up poor. Although College may help you to get a well paid job, it doesn't automatically guarantee this. You could do a four year degree and still end up waiting tables for a living. You could go straight into work and work your way up to a well paid job with great security and a health plan. That being said, if you know your people skills aren't up too much, you will need to work on this if you would rather not go to College because if you don't go, you will need to get a job and you need people skills for almost every job out there.
Have another think about it. Even if you don't want to go to College, it may be that you decide that would be a safer option than trying to become independent at such a young age. Although it was a good choice for me, I don't mind telling you that it has been very difficult for me. Especially since getting a mortgage because I only just earn enough to pay my share of the mortgage and the bills, as well as the shopping every other week. Had I gone to university, I may not have had my flat and my boyfriend and all the other wonderful things in my life, but I may have got all of that after university, along with a degree that could get me a far better job doing something I want to do.
Finally, don't worry about bothering me, because you're not. You're clearly going through a difficult time right now and having been through the same thing myself, I know it's difficult to make a decision without guidance from someone who has been there. So feel free to contact me any time and I'll see what I can do to help.
All the best.
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I am a 29 year old female who is currently employed by a large car dealership in sales. I recently was in my managers office speaking with both my Sales Manager and General Manager/part owner. A cooworker entered the room and made a comment to me which was quite offfensive, referring to my sexuality. I was completely offended! The GM giggled at the comment and left the room. The sales manager spoke to the employee and told him to apologize. I don't feel that was appropriate descipline do you? This individdual has made sexual comments to me in the past which I diffused by speaking to my cooworkers. They in turn spoke to him and let him know the comments were not welcome. Now I feel like everyone is avoiding me...I have worked there for a year. This gentleman has only worked there for three months. All my friends tell me to contact a lawyer and that this was sexual herassment. Is it? I have never been in this situation...What do I do.... (link)
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In theory, yes, it can be classed as sexual harassment. However, whether or not it would stand up in Court is another matter because the only witness to his 'joke' seemed to find it humorous and therefore would not take the situation very seriously.
Make sure that from now on, you keep a full record of any other such comments that he makes to you. Don't try to fight back at all but tell him you don't think such comments are appropriate in the workplace. Make sure it is clear each and every time that he says something along these lines, you find it offensive and inappropriate. When you have gathered a decent sized list of comments that he has made to you, if you think that they are relatively serious, present them to the Sales Manager or General Manager, whichever you feel might take the matter more seriously. He has now already been warned about his behaviour. If he continues to do it, he will be heading down a very rocky road.
Unfortunately, until you have sought further appropriate action from your Manager's, there is no point going to consult a Lawyer. So secretly keep making a note of every slimey thing he does or says and build a case against him. If you have a lot of examples and your Manager still does nothing, then you might want to consider taking the matter further.
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how can i get rid of underarm odor without using deodorant? (link)
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Anti-perspirant or deoderant is always the best option for getting rid of B.O. However, there are also body sprays, which help to cover it up, talcum powder, which helps to prevent the over production of sweat which causes B.O and then there's a new item available, which may sound very off-the wall but is rumoured to work. It's called a 'deoderant stone'. Basically, it's something which has been used for centuries to remove offensive odour from underarms or feet. It fights off the bacteria which cause the smell and all you have to do is rub it under your arms (wet it a little first) and make sure you have rubbed the entire area. You should find that the smell of B.O disappears.
I have to admit to never having tried out this Deoderant Stone but I have heard a lot of praise about it and you can buy it in a lot of medicinal or alternative medicine shops. Also anywhere that sells crystals and other such items.
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16/f
So, I work as a receptionist for a car dealership. Last week my own aunt, who's also my boss fired me. We havent been selling that many cars latley so she was already annoyed...but she saw me online and she was like "What are you doing?". I told her I was just playing around and she got mad at me. She said I had work to do, but I didn't...I checked everything and there was nothing to do. When I tried to explain that there was nothing else to do, she said I "was talking back". So she told my mom that she doesn't want me working anymore...so I cried. I just got fired from my first job! I get $8 a hour (Minimum here is 6.75), it's great pay and I barley do anything so the job is great. So she's my aunt, what do I do? I'm SO mad at her. Should I let it go and act like nothing happened? Should I be mad at her the rest of my life or ask for the job back? She is my aunt so maybe she'll let it go...?
(link)
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I'm sorry that you got fired but I'm afraid to say that she was within her rights to do so. I'm sorry, I know this isn't what you want to hear right now but it's true.
She may be your Aunt, but as long as you are working for her, she is your Boss first, not your Aunt and if you slack off on the job, your Boss will fire you. After all, they can't afford to pay an employee to use their internet when they aren't doing very well at the time anyway.
Ideally, you should have spoken to her when you realised there was no work to do. Using your initiative like this is something that is greatly admired in the workplace. If you had advised her you had nothing to do, she would have pointed you in the right direction and you would have earnt brownie points for asking in the first place.
Unfortunately, as you get older, you will realise that well paid jobs come at a price and that price is that you have to knuckle down and earn that money. You don't get what you don't deserve and if you barely do anything, why should you get so much money? You have to see it from a business perspective, rather than your own.
There's really nothing you can do but use this experience as a learning curve and realise that if you slack off on the job, you won't get away with it. It's a good thing you learnt it now, while working for your Aunt than when you get older and work for a company who will give you bad references for your behaviour. Go out and look for a new job and apologise to your Aunt for not doing the job she employed you to do.
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Recently I have developed a crush on a co-worker who is three years younger then me. However the fact that he is younger isn't my problem. My problem is he seems like he likes me for more than a friend but I'm having trouble telling. He's friendly with everyone but he seems different with me. He grins alot when I talk more so then when he talks with someone else. I have notice him looking at me but when I look at him he looks down or away or sometimes he'll give me a big grin. He has touched my hair a couple times and he acts really goofy with me. His ex girlfriend works with us too. But she isn't an issue because they haven't been together for a long time. Plus she thinks it's cute that I like him and she has a boyfriend that she loves. Anyways I explained to her the things he does and she thinks maybe he does like me. I just need more then one opinion on this. Another thing is when I left work one day I was standing outside the window waiting for my ride. When I turned around he gave me a goofy grin and waved at me through the window. I never notice him looking at any of the other girls that we work with like this. He'll play around with them but in a different way then with me. Please any help is appreciated. (link)
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It does sound as though he likes you as more than a friend and in my experience, guys only do things as intimate as touching your hair when they like you.
A lot of people advise against getting involved with someone in the workplace. Normally, I agree but I worked with my other half when we first got together so I'd be a hypocrite if I said that!
The bottom line is that if you really like him, you ought to do something about it. However, if you have only recently developed this crush, give it some time first. Crushes have a nasty habit of disappearing suddenly and if he really likes you and you go off him, you might really hurt his feelings. My advice is that when it comes to office romances, you should only go for it when you are certain of your feelings because you don't want to cause an ice atmosphere in a place you have to go to every day!
Give it a few weeks. If you still really like him or you feel your crush developing into something serious then go for it. You never know what might happen!
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Oh my goodness. I am so glad that today you are the featured columnist. I read your information and you are just the person I want to talk to!
Well, I'm a sophomore in high school (I'll be a junior next year). I'm a good student, I suppose. But I have been having many, many thoughts about college. I have tons of friends in college and it sounds really hard. Not only that, but I just don't feel like learning about history or science or anything uninteresting to me. I know it sounds weird but I just don't wanna go.
However, I know that because I may not go to college, the opportunities to get great jobs become limited. I want a good job, no doubt. I don't want to become filthy rich but I would like to be able to afford food, a nice home in a good neighborhood, and enough money for vacations and stuff like taxes/bills.
My question is..Is it difficult not having a college degree to get a good paying job? What size house do you live in, if you don't mind my asking? Does your boyfriend go to college? If he does or did, is most of the income coming from him?
Thank you SO much. I may ask you more questions based on your answers. =) (link)
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Hi there,
Like you, I got to the end of school and realised I just didn't want to be in education any more. I'd had a rough time at school and had never been a great student. I had enough and decided to leave to get a job for a time. It was frowned upon by a LOT of people, who said I was ruining my life and so on but those who knew me well knew it was the best decision I could make and looking back, I can see that it was because I have never been happier and university would probably have destroyed me.
That being said, you are right in thinking that jobs for people without degrees are not as easy to find. Of course they are out there but they tend to be less well paid with limited prospects. In the UK, a lot of companies, such as the insurance company I work for, hold little value in university degrees but if you want a well paid job, you need to have a good qualification from a university. I got to where I am now more because of my people skills, telephone manner and experience working in the insurance industry and nobody has ever asked me about my qualifications. However, I have come to realise over time that because I did not obtain a qualification before starting my job, I would be very hard pressed to get a job elsewhere for the same money and this has put a lot of strain on me and my partner because although I am quite good at my job, I do not want to be doing it for another 5 years but cannot afford to leave. I want to stress this point to you because you need to understand that this decision will affect you for years to come, whatever you decide to do.
I don't mind you asking about my home at all. I live in a two bedroom Ground Floor Flat in a converted house. It has a decent sized garden at the rear, with a shed and is actually a nice sized flat, as long as you don't mind using a cupboard sized toilet on one side of the flat and going to the other side to wash your hands!! It doesn't come at all cheap though and there has been a lot of overtime to pay for the bills and make up some ground from our initial deposit and mortgage payments, along with all the bills!
My boyfriend, Richard, didn't go to university. He went to our version of a College which is a two-year school in which you study for A levels, before heading off to university. He studied computers at College, before going to a company that repaired and sold computers and after a while, he became Assistant Manager. He is now (after a LOT of studying for Microsoft qualifications)an I.T Manager at a Health Insurance compant. This is where the majority of our income comes from, as he earns a fair amount more money than I do. As he is 5 years older than me, he has also been saving it for a lot longer so had more in the bank than I did. Unfortunately, I was also something of a shopaholic before this. Something I have had to curb a lot!!
University degress are required to obtain the best jobs here in the UK. If you want to be an architect or a Personal Assistant, a teacher, lawyer, doctor, journalist and so on, they usually will not even consider anyone without a degree in that area. Unfortunately, I couldn't say whether it is the same with the rest of Europe because I really have never spent any time in Europe at all and don't know anyone there. I can imagine it probably is the same, I'm afraid. The good news is that if you have done your A Levels (not sure of the American equivalent but they are the qualifications required before you may attend university), you can go to university at any point after that, whether it is two years or 30 years after you have left school.
The only piece of advice I can truly give you is to follow your heart. If you truly know that if you went to College right now it would be a waste of time and money and if you can go in a year or two instead then I would say it is best not to go right away. Your friends are absoloutely right. College is very difficult and most of my friends (still at university) are frazzled from studying so hard. This is why I believe that unless you are passionate about the subject you are studying, it is a waste of time because you will never put in the effort and hours you need to do well and it's just too expensive to waste that.
However, if college is a one-time opportunity over in America, I really would strongly recommend that you go. Yes, it is very hard work and you may not know what you want to do now but if you miss that opportunity you will spend the rest of your life regretting it. Although I am happier now than I ever could have been if I had gone to university, even I sometimes think I should have gone because it might have put me in a better position for the future.
Think very carefully before you make a decision and don't worry about not knowing what you want to do. You will work it out. If you need to know any more, feel free to contact me any time.
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hello.
ok so, ever since i broke up with my last Bf life has been HELL for me. i was trying to erase him out of my mind & life but its just so hard.One night i was listening to our OLd song, [helena] and i started crying Bcuz i realized i still loved him. I think he knows i like him, but i dont want him to know. i want him to think he's out of my life, but i cant help it becuz we have classes together. wat should i do? cry about it each night and deny the fact that i love him or follow my heart and talk to him.
-- JEss -- (link)
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It's always so awful when someone you love can no longer be a real part of your life, for whatever reason.
But what you decide to do really depends on the reason you aren't together now. You haven't said why you split up but judging by what you have said, it sounds as though he did something very bad.
If he did something bad to you, you need to consider carefully the reasons you aren't with him now. If he cheated on you or hurt you in any way, physical or otherwise, getting back with him will be a bad idea. Although it's easy to see a past relationship through rose tinted glasses, you need to see it for what it really was and if he did something that hurt you in any way, you need to focus on that when you think you want to be with him and go through it all again. We're all led to believe we should be with the one we love but sometimes, even though we love someone, we need to realise that we are better without them and say goodbye.
What you decide to do is really only a decision you can make but you need to be careful not to go back to a situation where you are giving your full heart to someone who will only give half back. Instead, save your heart for someone who deserves it and who will treat you as you should be treated.
It is very hard to get over someone you care so deeply about but you have to let yourself do it. I know that sounds odd but the truth is, as long as you spend a lot of time thinking about all the good times you had together, you are keeping the relationship too close to be able to get over it.
My suggestion to you is that you set yourself two full days to grieve over your relationship. Shut yourself away with a lot of junk food, a LOT of Kleenex (Balsam because it's easier on the nose and you won't feel better with dry skin round your nose!) and if necessary, a few soppy films. Then bawl your eyes out until there are no more tears to cry. Scream, shout, throw things if you must as long as they aren't breakable or aimed at anyone and let all your emotions out. Write a letter to him, telling him everything you feel and afterwards, burn it or rip it to shreds and throw it away somewhere you can't retrieve it. Do NOT send it, or I promise you will regret it.
After your two days of grieving, pick yourself up, have a long hot bath or shower, pamper yourself with a face mask and manicure or pedicure and go out with some friends. Don't talk about him and tell them you don't want them to mention him either. Go somewhere that is full of activity and fun and distracting enough that you can try not to think about him. Above all else, smile. A lot. It might sound weird but smiling actually helps to trigger the happy hormones in the brain and people are more attracted to others that smile. So you're doing yourself a service and helping to attract someone new all at the same time!
Most of all, don't expect this to be an overnight thing. You can't get over someone you care about that quickly. But after those two days, you need to accept that you can only allow yourself to wallow in heartbreak for so long. This is a very important lesson and one every woman must learn. However much we love someone, if we can't have them, we can't lose too much of our lives being upset over them or we'll forget we're supposed to be finding someone else.
You will be fine. Believe me, I know it is hard but you will get over him. Best of all, you will meet someone else who deserves your love and he will never hurt you like this.
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hey vikki.
to make a long story short, i got in a "fight" with one of my friends towards the end of march (it's may 21) and my closest best friend was good friends with her. well on the day of the "fight," i told her (my best friend) what happened and she said that she hates the girl that started the fight and wont ever talk to her again. i didn't really WANT that to happen, but i didn't really not what it to happen.
the next day at school, the girl walked by my locker while my best friend was at my locker. the girl said, "hey," to my best friend and my best friend was all, "heyy what's up" and i have been mad at her ever since. if she was truly a friend, she wouldn't have done that. (that meaning told me that she hated the girl yet said, "heyy" to her.)
should i stay friends with her? is it stupid of me to be mad at her just because i got in a fight with one of her friends? should i simply keep doing what i'm doing now, which is to create space in the relationship?
i dont really have that many friends. i think my closest friend is my sister whom i would die for. i can't afford to lose another friend, but i just want to let her know that i'm upset with her for continuing to socialize with my ex-friend ESPECIALLY when she told me that she hated her and doesnt want to talk to her anymore.
also, i can't just go up to her and tell her that i'm extremely pissed at her because she is still friends with my ex-friend. that would be really stupid of me because i'm not that type of person and because we (my ex-friend and i) weren't THAT good of friends anyway.
my apologies for having such a long question, but i saw that you have given very good advice and this problem has been bothering me for almost two months now.
thank you. (link)
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Hi there. Firstly, don't worry about the length. Sometimes if you have a big problem it takes a while to get it out, so don't worry!
Now then, I can understand why you are upset. The fight with this girl sounds like it must have been a pretty bad one and when your best friend told you she wouldn't talk to her any more and then did, you must have felt very betrayed.
You have every right to be upset with your best friend for the way she has turned around and done something she so clearly told you that she wouldn't do but at the same time you are both putting her in a very difficult situation. If she is good friends with your ex-friend then she may well feel she shouldn't talk to you for the same reason you would rather she didn't talk to her. This puts her right in the middle of your fight.
I know you would rather she wasn't friends with your ex-friend either but as much as you might like to, you can't dictate to her who she can be friends with any more than your ex-friend can so although it's tough, you need to try to be okay with the situation if you don't want to lose her. It is easier said than done but it really is the only way.
You should also tell her how you feel about the way she changed her mind. Explain to her that you don't have a problem with her being friends with this girl but you can't understand why she lied to you about it. It may well be that she was worried being friends with her would mean losing you as a friend but you will only know this if you ask. Whatever she says, make it clear you know she can be friends with anyone she chooses but ask that she doesn't try to hide it from you again.
I'm not saying this is the easy solution and there may be times where you really wish they weren't friends but if the shoe was on the other foot, so to speak, you would probably want her to allow you to choose your own friends, whoever that may be.
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My mom smokes and it really grosses me out because I had the smell of cigarettes. I'm also worried about her health. What should I do? (link)
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This is a common problem posed by children of smokers and it's always very difficult because there are lots of ways you can try to convince them to quit but they will never actually do it unless they truly want to.
Try obtaining some information from your local pharmacy or doctor's surgery or other health centre about smoking and the dangers of passive smoking. Perhaps realising how much danger she is placing you in you will give her the motivation that she needs to do something about it. Tell her that you really want her to always be around for you when you are older and know her Grandchildren and she might not be able to do that if she doesn't quit.
You could also try buying her some Nicorette (or other such company's) gum, patches and so on, so that she can't say there's no way she could try.
If that doesn't work, find her cigarette and flush them down the loo! My Gran did that to my Grandfer and he realised how much his smoking upset her after that and made a real effort to quit.
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do u have yahoo messenger (link)
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Nope. Only MSN Messenger
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hi i have a boyfriend named and we were talkin for a while then he asked me out on monday.. we like each other alot and things were going really good. but he has this girl who liked him since 9th grade they are friends though i dont care that there friends but she doesnt like me ever since we started goin out. but she doesnt know me or anything about me. i dont like drama i dont involve myself with it. so shes hating on me and him. i really like him and i want to contiue being wit him but this girl is jus gonna keep starting trouble with me. my sister told me to tell him that if he cant tell the girl to not disrespect me then to break up wit him.
wat should i do
signed: boyfriend troubles
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This is quite a predicament and one I can actually relate to.
When my boyfriend and I first started going out, there were two girls who really liked him and so immediately hated me. Things eventually came to a head with one girl when she posted something particularly unpleasent on the internet about me. Although my boyfriend was aware I had experienced problems with this girl for some time, he only got involved when she did this and he made it clear she had to back off once and for all.
Now, I think this was appropriate because this is the sort of situation that can arise in a large number of relationships and you need to be able to deal with it or it can destroy a relationship. If the girl is causing you trouble then you need to try to deal with it first. By all means tell your boyfriend what is going on but if you make him choose between his friend who is being unpleasent and you, you might not win this early in the relationship and however you phrase it, if you ask him to step in and do something, this is how it will seem to him.
Next time she says something nasty to you, you need to tell her to back off and leave you alone because you have every right to go out with him and as long as you care about each other, she isn't going to get anywhere by behaving the way she is. After this point, ignore her completely. Allow him to talk to her if he wants to but that doesn't mean you have to have anything to do with her. If a situation arises where you do have to be in a room together, be civilised. Never raise your voice, never react to her insults and never let her see that she has upset you.
If she does something truly awful to you or says something particularly bad, tell your boyfriend but if she does things on a regular basis and they're only little, don't tell him every time because this will put him constantly in the middle.
You just need to learn to ignore it. She's jealous and it is this sort of behaviour that will eventually drive your boyfriend away from her completely. So stay calm, ignore it and let her ruin things for herself.
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