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broken
hello.
ok so, ever since i broke up with my last Bf life has been HELL for me. i was trying to erase him out of my mind & life but its just so hard.One night i was listening to our OLd song, [helena] and i started crying Bcuz i realized i still loved him. I think he knows i like him, but i dont want him to know. i want him to think he's out of my life, but i cant help it becuz we have classes together. wat should i do? cry about it each night and deny the fact that i love him or follow my heart and talk to him.
-- JEss --
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
It's always so awful when someone you love can no longer be a real part of your life, for whatever reason.
But what you decide to do really depends on the reason you aren't together now. You haven't said why you split up but judging by what you have said, it sounds as though he did something very bad.
If he did something bad to you, you need to consider carefully the reasons you aren't with him now. If he cheated on you or hurt you in any way, physical or otherwise, getting back with him will be a bad idea. Although it's easy to see a past relationship through rose tinted glasses, you need to see it for what it really was and if he did something that hurt you in any way, you need to focus on that when you think you want to be with him and go through it all again. We're all led to believe we should be with the one we love but sometimes, even though we love someone, we need to realise that we are better without them and say goodbye.
What you decide to do is really only a decision you can make but you need to be careful not to go back to a situation where you are giving your full heart to someone who will only give half back. Instead, save your heart for someone who deserves it and who will treat you as you should be treated.
It is very hard to get over someone you care so deeply about but you have to let yourself do it. I know that sounds odd but the truth is, as long as you spend a lot of time thinking about all the good times you had together, you are keeping the relationship too close to be able to get over it.
My suggestion to you is that you set yourself two full days to grieve over your relationship. Shut yourself away with a lot of junk food, a LOT of Kleenex (Balsam because it's easier on the nose and you won't feel better with dry skin round your nose!) and if necessary, a few soppy films. Then bawl your eyes out until there are no more tears to cry. Scream, shout, throw things if you must as long as they aren't breakable or aimed at anyone and let all your emotions out. Write a letter to him, telling him everything you feel and afterwards, burn it or rip it to shreds and throw it away somewhere you can't retrieve it. Do NOT send it, or I promise you will regret it.
After your two days of grieving, pick yourself up, have a long hot bath or shower, pamper yourself with a face mask and manicure or pedicure and go out with some friends. Don't talk about him and tell them you don't want them to mention him either. Go somewhere that is full of activity and fun and distracting enough that you can try not to think about him. Above all else, smile. A lot. It might sound weird but smiling actually helps to trigger the happy hormones in the brain and people are more attracted to others that smile. So you're doing yourself a service and helping to attract someone new all at the same time!
Most of all, don't expect this to be an overnight thing. You can't get over someone you care about that quickly. But after those two days, you need to accept that you can only allow yourself to wallow in heartbreak for so long. This is a very important lesson and one every woman must learn. However much we love someone, if we can't have them, we can't lose too much of our lives being upset over them or we'll forget we're supposed to be finding someone else.
You will be fine. Believe me, I know it is hard but you will get over him. Best of all, you will meet someone else who deserves your love and he will never hurt you like this.
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