My mom smokes and it really grosses me out because I had the smell of cigarettes. I'm also worried about her health. What should I do?
[ Answer this question ] Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category? Maybe give some free advice about: Families? O0HiTSLOVEx3 answered Saturday June 3 2006, 11:11 am: ok so i am in the EXACT same situation. ill tell you a little about mine.
my dad is a smoker. he smokes A LOT a day, but hes a good guy. his smoking smells and his teeth are not as white as my moms since he smokes. i am really worried about him having a heart attack or something or dying soon since hes late 40s and cant wquit. he tried quitting, but that only lasted 3 days. i am sort of ashamed, to tell the truth. i hide his cigarettes from him sometimes and cough as much as possible when he smokes to get him to stop.
theres not much you can do for your mom, but you need to explain to your mom how you feel and how you are concerned about her health and death. once she hears your fear of her smoking, she might consider quitting. there are also numbers to call and pills to take to stop smoking.
Alin75 answered Saturday May 20 2006, 8:31 pm: Well, as a former smoker, I can say that you have your work cut out for you.
First of all, I am not too sure about the advice that tells you to hide/throw away her smokes. I know that when I was a kid I tried something similar with my mom and got into loads of trouble. Also if someone had tried that with me when i smoked I probably would have kicked their ass (Im embarassed to say).
Anyway, talking to her is of course a must. With smokers the best you can do is gentle persuasion. Come accross too forcefully and believe me, it makes you want to smoke to relieve the stress.
If you havent smoked it is very very hard to comprehend the extent of the addiction (it varies from person to person a bit of course). You cannot expect your mom to just quit. It doesnt matter how many facts you lay out. You have to be patient and supportive.
Even now, 3 years or so after quiting, I get almost irresistable urges to smoke when I smell a cigarrette across a room. When I quit I practically didnt sleep for a week. My hands were shaking, people thought I had come down with a sickness of some kind. I am only mentioning this so you understand what your mom is up against.
As for things you can buy (like nicorette etc), they could work. My mom quit using them, but they dont work on everyone. The most important thing is to come to terms mentally with quiting. I actually dont recommend that you just push your mom to quiting tomorrow for instance. Its sort of like running a marathon (but where the preparation is purely mental).
In the end, let her know how much you care for her. Let her know the risks she is taking (gently... very gently), and let her know you are there for her if she decides to quit. [ Alin75's advice column | Ask Alin75 A Question ]
orphans answered Saturday May 20 2006, 6:15 pm: the best thing you can do is just talk to her about it.
tell her you're worried about her and show her how bad it is for her.
you can take away all of ther cigarettes and lighters, and if she just keeps buying more, then just tell your dad to talk to your mom about it too.
xoxDaneCookRox answered Saturday May 20 2006, 6:06 pm: Talk to her about stopping. Maybe do some research on smoking and how bad it is and show it to her. But if she is gonna quit you have to be there for her alot. It is really hard. Both of my parents smoke and they have both tried to wquit many times but it is hard. Tell her she is effect both of your healths.
roseox answered Saturday May 20 2006, 5:44 pm: Hi...im just curious, how did everything work out? and what did you end up doing? hope everything went great!!
here are the stats, the website below is where they are from, hope it helps!!
Half of long-term smokers will die from tobacco. Every cigarette smoked cuts at least five minutes of life on average - about the time taken to smoke it. [Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
if you want more i have some more!! just ask!!
hope i helped (oh and if you decide to write the letter, please tell me how it turns out!! thanks!)
okay well this might sound weird but i have some ideas for you..write her a letter. a really sincere letter telling her you love her and that she is killing herself. find some shocking statistics to include (if you want to make a letter i have some statistics already just tell me and i will give you them)
Just tell her how much she means to you and that you want her to live.
my nana has lung cancer and i know how you feel, also my grandma had a stroke (believe it or not smoking doubles your risk for a stroke) and it is so hard to deal with.
i know it will be hard but writing her could really make a difference, i actually wrote to my aunt asking her to stop smoking, i just did it recently so i dont know what has happend with it yet but if you'd like as soon as i know i will tell you.
hope i helped!
♥ [ roseox's advice column | Ask roseox A Question ]
crack_is_wack answered Saturday May 20 2006, 5:44 pm: A close family member of mine also has a smoking problem, and is trying to quit. I know how you feel.
Have you talked to your mom about it? If you haven't, do. When she's not too stressed out or busy, ask her if you can talk. Tell her how you feel, how you care about her and it would mean so much to you if she quit.
Do research about quitting smoking, and tell her what you learn. Encourage her to buy patches or Nicorette gum. If she agrees to try to quit, be supportive if her and remember that withdrawl from cigarettes can make people really, really irritable. If she needs to talk, let her.
About the smell: Tell your mother that you would really appreciate it if she would not smoke around you. Also, ask her to brush her teeth or use mouthwash after a cigarette. This definitely helps with the smell.
Nallie answered Saturday May 20 2006, 4:47 pm: The thing about smoking is, it is much easier to never start than it is to quit. All the information in the world isn't going to help your Mom unless she wants to quit. Perhaps you can work out some kind of deal with her--like a bribe. Like "Mom if you quit, I will_________" whatever you think would motivate her. If all else fails, in a kind way, ask that she smoke outside or in a closed room away from you. If you are traveling in a car with her ask if she can make frequent stops so she can get out and smoke.
If she won't quit, these ideas would be the next best thing for your health anyway. [ Nallie's advice column | Ask Nallie A Question ]
curliecue answered Saturday May 20 2006, 4:12 pm: First of all, if you haven't already, tell your mom that it bothers you that she smokes. Sometimes that is enough to make her want to quit. If she knows but smokes anyways, then keep encouraging her to stop. Do some research and scare her out of smoking, because it is very harmful. good luck [ curliecue's advice column | Ask curliecue A Question ]
Vikki27 answered Saturday May 20 2006, 4:01 pm: This is a common problem posed by children of smokers and it's always very difficult because there are lots of ways you can try to convince them to quit but they will never actually do it unless they truly want to.
Try obtaining some information from your local pharmacy or doctor's surgery or other health centre about smoking and the dangers of passive smoking. Perhaps realising how much danger she is placing you in you will give her the motivation that she needs to do something about it. Tell her that you really want her to always be around for you when you are older and know her Grandchildren and she might not be able to do that if she doesn't quit.
You could also try buying her some Nicorette (or other such company's) gum, patches and so on, so that she can't say there's no way she could try.
If that doesn't work, find her cigarette and flush them down the loo! My Gran did that to my Grandfer and he realised how much his smoking upset her after that and made a real effort to quit. [ Vikki27's advice column | Ask Vikki27 A Question ]
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