Website:
Advicenators ForumGender:
FemaleLocation:
Dorset, EnglandOccupation:
Retired Insurance ManagerAge:
57Member Since:
March 17, 2006Answers:
780Last Update:
November 4, 2017Visitors:
85747Favorite Columnists
solidadvice4teens
karenR
DangerNerd
Brandi_S
Vikki27
Elcee
Main Categories:
Pets
Families
Illnesses
View All
about
I've been away for a while due to a serious illness and subsequent health issues. Favourite quotes of the moment:
The children of Israel wandered the desert for 40 years - Even in biblical times men wouldn't ask for directions!
Humankind has not woven the web of life. We are but one thread within it. whatever we do to the thread, we do to ourselves. All things are bound together. All things connect. - Chief Seattle.
We spend the first 12 months of a child's life teaching them to walk and talk. We spend the next 12 years telling them to sit down and shut up!
As you slide down the bannisters of life, may the splinters never be pointing the wrong way.
May you be in Heaven half an hour before the devil knows you're dead.
I've been very happily married since August 1980 to a wonderful man and have beautiful twin girls, now aged 31. Both are married to wonderful young men and one of our girls has recently made us grandparents to a beautiful, smart and feisty granddaughter. I studied geology with the Open University. I am retired from being a manager in a large UK based insurance company which I actually quite enjoyed. (How sad is that?). I love anything to do with the environment and wildlife and try to do my bit for preservation and conservation. I would like there to be a decent world for our grandchildren to inherit. I also have CFS so find life a bit of a challenge at times but always hope for better health in the future.
I have a deep interest in the spiritual and the paranormal worlds, having experienced several incidents myself, and have been involved in meditation groups and groups that (safely) explore the paranormal. There is more to this life than we would normally credit, so an open mind is always the best option. You're not so likely to get caught by surprise!
I have a deep fascination for anything to do with Ancient Egypt, as you can probably tell by my name. I have statues and paintings all around the house. As my hubby has a similar interest in Native Americans, we tend to have a lot of unusual wall decorations, like a tomahawk.
I love cars, especially vintage ones, but my all time favourite has to be the Bugatti Chiron, what a car!
I have had a lot to do with animals over the years. I have fostered many, helped to set up a wildlife charitable hospital and raised a diverse range of young animals from bats to fox cubs and different species of birds, even a baby deer! I have had great pleasure in sharing my life and home with a number of animals over the years, most of them rescues. I am currently sponsoring an Amur Tiger, they are such beautiful cats and desperately need help, there are so few of them left. I was lucky enough a couple of years ago to meet some Aye-Aye's and Livingstone's Bats, a truly wonderful experience. We now have three cats, Oliver and Mollie, a brother and sister, he's a ginger and she's a tortoiseshell and a black and white called Daisy. She arrived in a taxi and was left on our doorstep in a cat carrier with the message that 'they knew we loved cats and would be good to her'. She has settled down well and gets on wonderfully with the other two.
If you have a pet that is showing ANY signs of illness or distress, please, please, please take it to a vet! Even if finance is an issue, work that out later. It is cruel to leave an animal suffering for any reason. Most animals do not show signs of illness until they have been ill for some time, basic instinct tells them it is a display of vulnerability, and certain death in the wild. Their instincts have not caught up with domesticity.
I do feel that we should all treat others as we would wish to be treated. Bad karma comes back to haunt us.
advice
umm ok this question shouldn't even be put on here since it's not a question that needs 'advice' but since your profile is the only one that has it, um where did you put the code for the scroll bar? edit answers? profile settings? in which section? I puted the code on edit answers in the box where you can decribe yourself but when I uploaded it and looked at my profile, the scroll bar didn't show up! =S
The scroll bar should appear when you have answered enough questions for it to extend the viewing column.
From there, you can then go on to see numbers appearing at the bottom of the page, this shows that you have answered enough questions for there to be more pages to view.
It's not a profile setting, it's automatic. If you have answered lots of questions and it does not appear, you need to contact Dangernerd as there might be a problem with your column.
Hope that helps.
I'm not sure but I think I have TSS but I'm not sure what TSS really means. I am SUPER shy and if I talk to anyone or read outloud in class my face instinctly(as if it's a reaction or something)goes red and if I talk more than 2 minutes than my voice begins cracking and shaky. Sometimes when all eyes are on me I shake and feel like I'm about to faint and sometimes has to hold on something b4 I fall down from fear. This is not like as if I'm tlaking to a crush or something it happens when I'm talking to ANYONE and since TSS stands for toxis shock syndrum I think this might be is but is it?
Don't worry, it's not TSS, if it were, you would be in hospital by now. You are just very shy. This is something you can grow out of in time and most people suffer from it to some degree.
If you have to read in class, try to concentrate on what you are reading and ignore everyone else. When you have gained more confidence in yourself, you feel so shy. Keep im mind though that some of the greatest leaders in the world have suffered from shyness, so you're in good company.
Hope that helps and don't worry.
I have a small cat that is 5 years old (own since a kitten) that is starting to poop in my bathtub instead of the litterbox. Any thoughts why?
There could be a variety of reasons for him doing this:
Have you moved recently?
Has another cat moved into the neighbourhood that could be alarming yours?
Have you had strangers in the house recently that could have distressed him?
Have there been more arguments than normal in the house which has changed the atmosphere and unsettled him?
Has another animal been introduced into the house or has gone?
Is the cat tray kept clean?
Has it been moved?
Are you using a different type of cat litter?
Has something frightened him whilst in the tray? (Quite often this could be something you would not notice though).
If a cat feels insecure in his tray, he will find somewhere to toilet where he feels safer. If your tray doesn't have a lid, you could try one that does. Cats are at their most vulnerable when they are going to the toilet as they can't stop and are open to attacks. The bath tub has sides that would suggest that it offers some form of protection. Try a tray with a lid, if necessary put it in the tub to start with, after a couple of days, move it to the floor, then gradually move it further away and towards where you want it to be.
If all this doesn't work and especially if he starts to display any other symptoms, you will need to take him to a vet.
Cats can be frightened away from something quite easily and it can be difficult to get them back to it. You need patience and calmness to deal with it.
Hope that helps and good luck.
15/female
I've known my best friend since I was 3 or 4 years old and we're really close. We haven't had a serious argument since we were 10 or 11 and we get on really well. But I have a problem. Ever since we were little she's always beat me at everything. She gets straight A's in all her classes, she plays the piano, the violin and the guitar, she sings, she dances she's beautiful and has a great figure, she's more popular me and people pretty much admit that they like her more and find her more attractive than me. Even the things I'm good at, she's better at. She's the one in control of our friendship, when well fell out bigtime when we were younger she was the one who decided when we made up. We always end up liking the same guy and they always prefer her. I have friends who like me, but all my friends mutual with her and they like her more. I feel like a boring lapdog and I always come second best.
I really value her friendship but this is starting to really get me down. She gets really annoyed when I try and talk to her about it, and I know there's nothing she can do to change it. It's not that she's a bad person, it's just that I have such a low self esteem and I feel so worthless that I keep comparing myself to her. She is everything that I'm not and she's got everything that I want. I'm unconfident and she's always accusing me of being clingy, I want so badly to make new friends of my own but I don't know how.
How can I stop being so jealous of her and make myself more confident?
You've lived in this girl's shadow for 11-12 years, it's time you came out into the sun. Easier said than done? Yes!
Why do you value her friendship so much? Do you perhaps think that without it you would be left with nothing? It sounds as though she has always made all the decisions, that is not friendship, that is control. It may not be anything that she has consciously done, but the way that you have seen tbe situations. But, you have helped her to turn yourself into someone who lacks the confidence to make your own decisions and make your own friends.
She may be smarter than you, there are always going to be more intelligent people, but there are an awful lot more less intelligent than you. Luckily, our popularity isn't and shouldn't be measured by how well the grey matter works.
Unfortunately, if we don't think much of ourselves, we can hardly expect others to. We project our feelings and people pick up on them. Ask anyone to make a list of their good and bad points, 99.9% of them will have a longer bad points list. You will be no different.
Don't try to compete with her, find your own special talents. Everyone is good at something, you just need to find it.
She may get annoyed if you try to talk about how you feel, but that may be because she feels uncomfortable about the situation and doesn't yet have the maturity to deal with it. She may have her own inner demons that she is trying to cope with, no one is perfect!
Learn how to be you, a wonderful, special person in your own right. Accept yourself for who and what you are. You manage that and people will be drawn to you as well. Confidence breeds attractiveness.
Join some clubs or help with a charity, anything that does not involve your friend. If she asks, tell her it's something you need to do on your own. Doing this will put you in the way of like minded people and gives you the chance of making friends who will like you for who you are. Charity work is especially good as it helps to give you the feeling of self worth. When you see the difference you can make to an animal or another persons life just by being there, your confidence starts to grow. When you value yourself and see that you can make a difference, you won't need to feel jealous of her any more. Remember though, that it will probably take time. So give yourself a break and don't be too hard on yourself if it doesn't all happen straight away.
I really hope that helps and I wish you the very best of luck.
16/f my cousin is getting married in November. She's having her wedding at a castle and it's medieval themed. I already have my costume (elf) but I don't know how to fix my hair to match! I also don't know what shoes to wear with my costume. It's deep green, brown, burgundy, and gold.
my hair is medium length.. my myspace is www.myspace.com/kiirstinthegreat if you need a visual.(I can't really describe my hair)
Any suggestions on what shoes to wear? or how to fix my hair? (pictures would be great!)
I found this and thought it may help.
http://www.dcn.davis.ca.us/~klsabin/double-photos.html
Hope you enjoy the wedding.
I have a 6 month old part rotwiller part lab and she wont stop crying at night or even when we go to work my neighbours are not happy what should i do? also should i keep her in the crate while we are gone to work????
She's lonely! She's come from a family of siblings and a mother and now she doesn't understand why she has been confined and left on her own. Dogs don't do well on their own, they need an alpha 'dog' to lead them, that's where you come in. You give the leadership and the company she is looking for.
If she has to be left on her own, have a radio talk show on in the background so she feels she has company, leave a warm only hot water bottle in her bed to mimic the company of her siblings and a ticking clock, no alarm bells, to mimic her mothers heart beat. Best of all, can you have her in your room at night? She would be great company and it would solve the loneliness problem.
During the day, make sure she has plenty of toys to play with, rottweilers and labradors are intelligent dogs, so she should be smart, but they need stimulating.
It won't be long before she is old enough to be able to cope on her own without disturbing the neighbours, so you could try apologising to them and telling them you are aware of the problem and are trying to do something about it.
Hope that helps and good luck.
I have an extremely bad toothache. Like i want to cry thats how bad it hurts. I told my mom and she said it will feel better in a couple days and that was 2 days ago and i feel 50% worse now. I hate dentist but it hurts so bad im willing to let them do whatever they have to to make this feel better. But i cant get to one because of my parents. Is there anything out there i can buy that will help me feel better? Ive tried oragel and tylenol but nothing has worked.
thank you. By the way is my wisdom tooth or whatever tooth is in the back.
As emergency measures you could try oil of cloves, doesn't taste too good but it is numbing. The other thing is that there is an acupuncture point for the teeth on your ear lobes. If you squeeze the lobe on the affected side, (you may need to move your fingers around to get the right place), it should help lessen the pain.
You do however, need to see the dentist. If your parents can't/won't take you, is there someone else that can?
Hope that helps and you are pain free soon.
I am on the school newspaper, but i have no idea what to write about, does anyone have any good ideas or top stories they think would be good?
thanks =]
I don't know if it's possible where you are, but when my daughters were on their school newspaper, they interviewed local councillors and the mayor. They also went to the local theatre, (by appointment), and interviewed willing stars that were appearing in shows or plays. It was a kind of 'Typical Day in the Life Of' thing.
Another story could be if anyone in school has made any notable achievement in something, fund raising, marathons, record breaking etc.
Hope that helps and good luck.
Since UN day is coming up soon, or International Day, at least at my school, I've been asked to make a slide show about poverty. I was wondering if anyone has any ideas on what song I could play while the slide show is rolling? I am obviously not looking for suggestions like 'PROMISCUOUZ GIRL!', ok?
Also, if anyone has any ideas on interesting things/figures/facts I could include. I'm going to go for defining poverty, where it exists most, what changes/plans are being made to prevent it and why people should care. If you guys have any additional suggestions, it would be muchly appreciated.
Thanks.
I've included some web sites, the first few are giving facts, the last have pictures. If you are at all squeamish, some of them may upset you.
As for a song, one that lays things bare but has an uplifting tune is 'It's the end of the world as we know it (and I feel fine), by R.E.M. It may have an upbeat sound to it but it has impact. People are not going to forget your presentation in a hurry.
http://www.care.org/campaigns/childrenpoverty/?source=170740250000&WT.srch=1
http://www.globalissues.org/TradeRelated/Poverty.asp
http://www.globalissues.org/TradeRelated/Facts.asp
http://borgenproject.org/Pictures.html
http://members.tripod.com/sadashivan_nair/freephotos4ursocialstudy/id9.html
http://www.photovault.com/Link/People/o/vPoverty3rdW/POVVolume01.html
Hope that helps and good luck.
Alright so I'm dating this guy for about a month. I really really care for him and he's so amazing to be around. I don't know whether I love him or not...but I feel like I do. I don't want to say anything, though, because I don't want to scare him away. I was just wondering what period of time do you think should elapse in a relationship before you say that you love someone? What's the "norm"?
thanks.
EM
There is no 'norm' with a relationship, each one is unique. That is one of the things that make it so special.
Do you love him?
Do you feel that without him around the world seems less bright and interesting? If you were to imagine a life without him, how does that make you feel? Do his opinions count more than others, whilst at the same time you retain your own? Does he make you feel comfortable and cherished and that you are the most important person in the world to him? Look down the years, can you see yourselves growing old together without feeling repelled by the thought of false teeth, bald patches etc?
If you can answer yes to all of these questions, the chances are that you do love him.
As for telling him you love him, it depends entirely on what he is like. Most men prefer to take the initiative on this one. If he is not yet at the same place as you, you do run the risk of frightening him off, regardless of his feelings for you. I would suggest waiting and playing it by ear. A month is quite early on in the relationship, so give it some time. You never know, he could display some personality trait you're not so keen on.
Hope that helps and good luck.
Alright, i've had this puppy for about 4 months, hes a golden doodle, his Mother was a standard poodle and his Father was a Golden Retriever, hes black with curly curly hair. well, I convinced my mom to let me keep him as a house dog, but i need to find out a few things. okay, what are some things dogs can/cannot eat. I know dogs cant have chocolate, but i know there are certian fruits and vegitables dogs cant have. can somebody tell me, or give me a website that will tell me what dogs can/canot eat? i dont wanna keep him inside and have him die cuz he ate something, or if we fed him something wrong. I've heard they cant have garlic, but again, idk.
thank you so much!
Your best bet is to give him a good quality dog food, if it's the dry type he will need access to plenty of water. This will give him all the nutrients he needs. As a treat, you could give him bits of apple, (no pips) or banana. If you give him fresh cooked chicken, you could mix it up with some plain boiled potatoes and low seasoned gravy that has cooled to blood temperature. However, too many veggies can make them flatulent. They can also eat white and brown bread (the bread with bran added is quite good for them). They shouldn't eat highly seasoned food or anything with a really strong taste.
You're right about the chocolate, but you can get no sugar doggy chocolate as another treat.
Mostly, apart chocolate, dogs tend to know what is good for them and usually avoid harmful things, but it is better to not take risks.
Hope that helps and good luck.
im 13 i just got a reptile in my cousins back yard, we live in massachusetts -- it is prob about a little bigger then my pointer finger, its really really thin and has a long tail it is black with one reddish - brownish colored stripe from his head to his tail , he has four legs, his tail is a little a little smaller then my pinky finger any idea of what it is .. i dont know if it is a newt or a salamander.. any advice on how to tell the two apart would be helpful
Try taking a look at this picture, it's the Eastern Red Backed Salamander.
http://animaldiversity.ummz.umich.edu/site/resources/Grzimek_herps/Plethodontidae/Plethodon_cinerea.jpg/view.html
Hope that helps.
What are some natural cures for headaches?
Try massaging the knuckles below your nails on your thumbs, forefingers and middle fingers in a circular motion, if you find a tender spot concentrate on that for a little while then move on to the next finger.
If the headache is on the top of your head massage in the same way on the tops of your thumbs right behind your nails, the opposite thumb to the side of the head in pain is the one to rub here. Works wonders for me. It's reflexology points that anyone can use.
Hope that helps and good luck.
Hi, I'm a 16 year old girl and I was wondering how I'd go about selling some of my artwork in galleries? Maybe just some small galleries around town. How old do you have to be and how would I do it? Any other info you could give me would be great too. Thanks!
If you get a portfolio together, you could take it around to art galleries to see if they would be interested. You could get some business cards made up and give them out, see if you could display one and a poster at all the local theatres, colleges and large businesses.
You could also try your doctors/dentist surgery and see if they would like to display some of your pictures on their walls with the prices attached. This way, they get free decoration and you get exposure.
Hope that helps and good luck.
I am from Pakistan, an educationest working in public sector. New research papers and articles will really enhance my professional compitency. But the problem is that I did not have reading habit. when I try to read some article in english I get sleep or get boared soon. can you please tell me the ways to develop the reading habit for reading latest education related material.
If you mix your reading material, (light reading books, magazines etc), something that captures your interest, you get more practice in understanding usage etc. If you can get to grips with the way the language flows, it may make it easier to follow the research papers.
Quite often boredom comes from either not understanding all of the writing or from the material being badly composed. It is always going to be more difficult if it is not your first language.
It sounds as though you have made a great start so I hope that that helps and wish you well in your studies.
Heyy y'all :D
I'll get right to it -
lets say there was a list of 10000 different classes you could take, everything from cooking to selfdefense, what class would you take? ölike, what would you actually ENJOY doing (not like math and physics haha) what seminar would you willingly go to, to hear about a class..
so basically, if you could invent a class that doesn't exist what would it be?
or have you ever been to some kind of class that you would love to go to again or even have as a real class in school??
It was a long time ago now that I was in school, but given the chance I would have loved to have studied Volcanology. Field studies would have been great, travelling to different parts of the world to collect samples etc. :)
15/f
I have a bit of a problem, I think my parents are slowly catching on that I drink alcohol every so often at friend's houses. Well, usually twice a month. I get straight A's, play sports and get along very well with my parents. However, I lie to my parents a lot about where I am and what I am doing.
My parents have become suspicious and search my room every chance they get. Today my mom found a blanket which I carried around with me (it had grass on it) and socks (which I was wearing when I took off my shoes) and she is wondering why I had those items hidden in my room. I blew it off and said the socks were from PE class but I do not like all of this lying. I have lied to them for years, keeping almost a secret life.
I do not know if I should tell them what I do or not.. I want them to trust me but they may try to restrain me from seeing my friends or make me do extra chores (etc) and punish me.
Why should I (or should I not) tell them? I am really stuck with this. Thanks!
Your parents are understandably concerned about you, apart from loving you, it's their job to worry about your well being. Parents have a radar for picking up that there is something wrong and drinking alcohol at your age is one of those things.
Your only options are either to carry on as you are and risk the inevitability of them finding out, (which they will), and the subsequent fallout, or stop drinking and lying.
You know the answer, you're an intelligent girl. Do you feel that you deserve a punishment for your behaviour?
You have to earn trust, and when you betray it, it is a very long time before you can get it back, if ever.
Your parents are more than likely thinking all sorts of terrible possibilities for your actions, so if you were to come clean and make the effort to stop the drinking, you could find that they will support you. Only you can decide how they would respond.
Even if you don't tell them, please stop drinking? At your age it does more long term damage, even if it is only a couple of times a month. Try to be more open with them, they sound very worried. Once you start, it should get easier.
I'm sorry if it's not the answer you were looking for, but you do need to do something about this now. The longer it goes on, the harder it will be to deal with.
Good luck.
ok so my dads birthday is on wensday and i still have no clue what to get him i have decided to make him something and make it really personal and sweet any ideas?
How about buying a large photoframe and filling it with photo memories? You could title it something like 'Remember When?'
This would not cost a lot if you are on a tight budget, but it would be something he could keep forever and treasure.
Hope that helps.
okay i take photography and i've been doing great taking pictures and all that but our upcoming project is to take an ordinary object and turn it into extraordinary. my mind went blank and i couldnt even think of anything! will someone please give me ideas!
A water fountain on a fast shutter speed with a coloured filter.
Sunlight through leaves.
A toddler laughing.
Part of a car engine taken from an odd angle and magnified.
Hope that helps and good luck.
what's a good, inexpensive (under like $8) tinted moisturizer that i can find at cvs? that will be smooth and cover redness?
I don't know CVS as we don't have that shop in England. However, I just wanted to say that if you need to minimise redness, you need to look at buying a green tinted moisturizer, as green counteracts red. Applied with a dampened sponge should ensure even coverage.
If you go to the shop, there should be an assistant who could advise you of a good one in your price range.
Hope that helps and good luck.