thelaura's advice column | Page 22

home view feedback ask questions add as friend advicenators

Website:

E-mail:

If you want advice in an email (NOT MSN) - laurarocket@hotmail.com

Gender:

Female

Location:

England

Age:

23

Member Since:

July 5, 2006

Answers:

2944

Last Update:

July 7, 2012

Visitors:

111158

Favorite Columnists

Main Categories:

Fashion and Styles

about

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.

[9/2/08] [5/7/08] [16/7/08] [23/9/09] [28/5/10] [29/5/10] [3/6/10]

Laura/22/England

Facebook
Forum

advice

My girlfriend and i are 13 and we talk about me looking at her boobs and her friend said if she lets u look at them she might let u feel them how should i make the move on her

Feeling and touching are 2 completely different things.
You're only 13 so don't rush into things like that. When the time is right, you two will be coomfortable enough to talk each other through that stuff. Don't just randomly "make the move on her" because she might not be ready and it can ruin your relationship.

i want to have sex and i'm not old enough.... why do i want to... whats wrong with me??

Absolutely nothing, it's just your hormones. Everyone gets these urges around puberty - it doesn't mean you have to act upon them by having sex though. Keep sex for when you love and trust someone. There's always masturbation to help you satisfy yourself for the time being. :)

Is it possible for a girl to have more than one orgasm within a short period of time?

Yeah. Multiple orgasms.

does masturbauting give you more pimples/acne?

No.

what are some really cute love songs ?

I'd say a lot of things by The Rocket Summer.

"Colors"
"So Much Love"
"That's So You"

Just to name a few.

and if The Rocket Summer isn't your cup of tea (shock, horror!) don't worry, 'cause I looked on Google and found loads. Just really depends on your taste of music.

ok what if a girl date guy with stuff amanimls

This question makes no sense.
So what if a guy has stuffed animals? I know lots with things like that and it doesn't make them any different or immature/babyish etc.
I think it's cute.

like i know this is a stupid question but what exactly discribes the word 'fanny' ? is it the butt, or the other private part down there? and is it the girl or boys part, ot both?? haha i know weird question but i wanna make like really sure

I'm English and here it means vagina. :)

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=fanny

am i getting close to my first period?
I am 13 and i recently have been getting cramps below my stomach, i just broke out with pimples, ive been getting really annoyed with things lately, i have some boobs, hair in my arm pits and "down there", and my mom got hers when she was 13. Do you think im gonna get it soon if so how soon?

Hey hun, thanks for the inbox Q.
The only answer I can give you is maybe.
What you've described does sound like the obvious signs and it could be on it's way soon. I know when I first started I didn't really have any signs other than cramps, but other times I got spots about a week before and had other things, like tender boobs, cramps, being irritable, the full works!
I say to give it about a week and if it doesn't arrive, it's probably not your period just yet.
Just remember to always be prepared and carry pads (I assume you'll be using them at first, if not, tampons) incase it happens when you're out. :)

okay so i started talking to this guy, we talked for probably 4 hours. some for facebook. then over text, he was telling me how pretty i was and how my ex was stupid for breaking up with me and all this stuff, and how we should hangout. The next day i texted him, and i never got a response, and i haven't talk to him since that night which was friday. Nor has he been on facebook. What do you thinks going on, also my phone keeps messing up and not sending texts to somepeople but idk if he was one of them.

If you aren't sure he's receiving your txts, don't bother with them - or send them from another phone if possible.
You can also ring him. It may be random but it could be a fun phone call as it's out of the blue!
Actually give him some time to reply if you leave him Facebook messages - you don't know what's going on in his life right now and he could be very busy.
Hopefully if you make the effort, he will do it back. Just give it a bit more time. and if he does end up going online and not responding to you, it's his loss!

if you have a problem would you want your friend to force/get it out of you or just gives up and wait till you tell them? and why?

It really does depend on the type of problem.
Sometimes, I just like to be left alone, especially if it's none of their business and nothing that concerns them.
If I think they can help me or I need to get something off my chest, after a bit of effort, they'll eventually get it out of me.
I do prefer to tell people things in my own time though.. but I guess some people are either just really nosey or genuinely want to help. :)

i have been outside like everday and i can't get a taN!!! what are some tips to get a tan???

Fake it from a bottle.

If you want to be naive and damage your skin with wrinkles and skin cancer, then do it between 11am-3pm - when the sun's hottest.
You might just be one of those people who are harder to get a tan (I can't say I've EVER had one!), so start off by using a sun bed to give you a "base coat".. then carry on with going outside.

Oh.. and never skip the sun cream. It doesn't stop you getting a tan.

so im a 17 year old female :] im graduatin like next month so heres my question.. i like this guy... hes filipino and im latina :] we flirt quite a bit and ive been havin a crush on him... anyways later this week he asked to hang out.. the thing is idk if he wants to chill or if hes expectin me to have sex? i mean.. i like him alot so i wouldnt mind hittin it BUT i dont want to get hurt.. i dont want him to use me... if i make out with him does that make me easy??? UGH im so confused!!! what should i do??? i like him alot but im not one to be played so idk.. someone help me please..

Hanging out does NOT mean sex. That can be seen as easy. Save the sex for when you're in a decent, committed relationship.
Sure, hang out with him. but like you said, if you don't want to get hurt, don't bother getting too close to him unless you know for a fact he likes you and only you.
We can't tell you if he's a player - just use your brains and don't do anything you'll regret. Be wary of him - but also have a nice time!
For now, work on taking your friendship to another level. Better still - tell him you like him and see what he says!
Good luck.

My boyfriend seemed perfect to me his nice sweet such a gentlement he makes me happy and i'm actually in love.we've been together for 8 and a half months now and everything has been great he says he loves me. The problem is his ex his ex want nothing to do with him which is a plus but he told me recently that he still has feelings for her it hurts so much .I asked him does he really love me he said yes. I asked him does he want her back he said yes.Now At this point I dont know what to do.
He dated her for 2 years and its been about a year and a half since its been over she was his first girfriend .The question is WHAT IN THE WORLD DO I DO NOW.

I feel you should come up with your own answer here, hunni. Follow your own heart.
Either carry on with the relationship and see where it takes you, or break it off.
Personally though, if I were in your shoes and my boyfriend told me whilst he still loves me, he WOULD get back with his ex.. I'd be devastated. and to be honest, knowing he would willingly let me go for an EX of all people, I'd have to break up with him because it would hurt too much.
Love should be equal between a couple - no middle person.

I hope everything works out the way you want it to.

What does it mean when you go poop and you see blood come out to?

Could be a number of things, ranging from something simple to something serious.
When this happens, you need to see a doctor to determine why it's happening to you.
The colour of blood could also be a sign as to what it can be. If it's bright red, it's mainly something like hemorrhoids/torn tissue - especially if the stool was hard to pass through.
If the blood is darker, it may be a sign of internal bleeding or a more serious condition.
Either way, you should see a doctor to get the right treatment you need.
I wouldn't worry too much for the time being because it is quite common amongst people and if you get the treatment you need quickly, you'll be on the road to recovery soon enough.
I think you should google Hemorrhoids to see if it sounds like you:

and also give this a shot:

to get more info on the subject.

My girlfriend has a cold sore, right there on the end of her mouth.

She keeps getting pissed at me because I don't want her to kiss even my cheek or forehead, because it's a freaking cold sore.

She's says it needs saliva, and can only be caught on the eye, mouth or genitals. While I know that, I doubt that it only touching my cheek doesn't mean I can't accidently transfer it around by contact with my hands or any other such thing.

Am I in the right to actually not want her to plant her lips on my cheek until the damned thing vanishes?

You're right. Putting myself in your position, as mean as it sounds, I wouldn't exactly want my other half transferring the virus, even by pecking my cheek - the virus CAN cause complications and CAN spread to other parts of the body. Kissing you can also cause complications for her, if bacteria gets in to it.
Tell her to do you both a favour and stop the kissing for the time being until it's gone. It's not offensive, she just needs to realize that a cold sore isn't as harmless as she thinks.

hey i need advice as soon as possible. i'm having a little get together tonight and me and my boyfriend got into a fight last weekend so i haven't talked to him all week and itold him to call if he wanted to talk about it..he never did. so i'm having this little party tonight andone of my friends accidentally clued him in on it. i haven't told him about it yet but idk if i should. i love him and we've bee together for 9 months and i plan onmaking it last longer but idk what to do. should i invite him? and how? what should i say to him? thanks so much

...He's your boyfriend. I don't know what little tiff you two have had but it needs to stop. Why don't you be the bigger person in this and talk to him first.
Quit the childish games, invite your boyfriend and have an awesome time!
Just tell it like it is - "I'm having a get together tonight, would you like to come?"
Good luck.

ok i need serious help. I'm in love with my boyfriend, but the way he's acting is ridiculous.
the other night someone told him that i had started smoking again, he fliped and took my ciggarettes and then yelled at me for not coming to him first. He is so convinced that i'm going to cheat on him with one of my brothers friends that he had a panic attack that put him in the hospital. He wont let me go around my bro. and he is constantly reminding me of how i started smoking behind his back. He told someone behind my back that i dress like a slut around other people(a turtle neck is slutty to him). He went through my fone and called eveyone who txted me!
Thats just the bad though.
i absolutley adore him. i'm in love with him. He's always calling just to say i love you and he always makes sure im comfortable.

but apparently the way he's treating me has caused my best friend to stop talking to me until i leave him because my BFF is tired of me being treated like this.

What should i do!?
PLLLEEEAAASSSEEE HEELLLLP ASAP

Thank you
Love always ~heather

He seems very controlling beneath the lovey dovey act, caused by insecurities and lack of trust.
1. How long have you been with him - because trust takes time.
2. Have you ever done anything to break his trust - because it may have damaged him in some way and needs to build the trust back.
If you've never done anything to break his trust for you (minus the smoking incident), you need to have a serious conversation with him now, because the relationship is making him ILL and it's pushing you away.
Explain to him everything you are feeling - perhaps even show him this question and your cry for help.
Let him know you aren't going to cheat or hurt him and remind him you don't do the same to him as he does to you (I hope that is true..?)
Trusting people takes time but the way he is going about it isn't going to help - everything is just going to make him suspicous.

You need to make him understand if he doesn't stop, it's going to kill your relationship and end in a bad way. That is a fact.

To start off, this will be extremely long. I will appreciate it greatly if you take the time to read this, and tell me your feedback. So here it goes.. (Ready?)

19/f
This is a long distance relationship.
Well, it started when our 1 year anniversary hit (Nov, 2008). I call him to give him hints about it and he finally figures it out. So I ask don't you care? He says only 2 year anniversaries and up matter.

So it hit my birthday, which was April 6th. He promised me multiple times he'd call me at the set time of 8:30. He doesn't have a cell phone, just a landline right now. So I said ok. I waited at the phone for two hours then suddenly give him a call at 10:30. He picks up and I yelled at him why the hell didn't you call? He said he forgot. And then I said well fine lets talk now then. He said he can't he wants to watch a tv show instead. So yeah I started to cry and said you'd rather watch a tv show than talk to me, especially since it's my birthday?? He said yeahh. So I called him a jerk and hungup. Cried over it the rest of the night of course.

Then he sends me a letter by mail, it was a card. All it was, was a card with a cat on it, I open it up it ends up being some religious card, and at the bottom it says happy birthday. And on the side he wrote you think I am a jerk but I am not. Look at the back, and I find out this is a card he found with a stack of the same cards. And said nothing about he loved me or anything, and expected some sentimentality on it. Showed a couple of friends and they laughed and said yeah, that is pathetic.

So I call his mom upset and said tell her to tell him don't even bother calling me for awhile until he straightens up. I tell her the story so she's obviously going to yell at him.

So, two weeks pass. He hands out the same excuses: "I'm too tired to talk", "I'm eating", "I'm going to bed", "I don't want to talk"... I try calling him. But he doesn't want to talk.

Distraught, I call his mom. I tell her what's going on since we're pretty close. She said she'll try talking to him but she is sure nothing will work. I seriously recommended military school. She tells me his uncle got him into drinking (possibly drugs), so that can explain his anger and apathy. He just wants to sit around all day, drink, watch tv. He doesn't want a job (he's 19), and when he did have interviews he cancelled them. For what reason I don't know. So I broke up with him. It was very hard..

So tonight, after giving him the silent treatment for a few days. I finally give him a call to see how he's doing. Of course I care about him and love him. I worry about him, even though we're not together. I don't know how it started, but we began to fight. He said he wasn't drinking, but he was yelling at me, telling me to f**k off, and I was with my good friend so he assumed I F***ked my friend behing his back. Which isn't true!! I never cheat!! Would never do it! He also threatens me with a gun, and threatens to beat my friend and i up, along with having his uncle to help. I cried hard. I am scared. He's done this before.. but not this bad. And these threats were heard over speakerphone so a few friends heard it as well.

What should I do? Who should I talk to? He lives in TN; I live in OH, so how can this be resolved?

Thank you again for reading. It means a lot to me.. I just need some advice!

Why do you even want this resolved. He clearly doesn't give a damn about you or about himself by the sounds of it.
It's a GOOD thing you aren't with him and I definitely feel you should just forget about wasting time on him and move on.
He didn't treat you nicely and couldn't be bothered with the relationship. Long distance is very hard and you certainly don't need the likes of him to bring you down.
Move on. and find someone who deserves you and WANTS to make you feel special and loved.
Don't bother contacting him again and if he contacts you, do yourself a favour and ignore him.

Well theres this boy at school that i really really like. He doesn't know i like him . Im too afraid to tell him my feelings, eventhough he said he would give anyone a chance, because I dont really know him that well and I dont think he likes me.I think hes becoming a slight obsession aswell, i cant stop thinking about him. Im really afraid of rejection, should i tell him anyway? or just keep quiet and hope that one day he notices me ? HELP :(.

Rejection is nothing to be afraid of and throughout life, it will happen in different forms. If you've never encountered it before, of course it's going to be scary - but it's a lesson learnt.
Hunni, the worst that can happen is he will say no. It's not a big deal and at least that way, you won't be left in limbo.
Tell him, in any way possible, if you can. Or try to get to know him more and hang out with him.
Go for it.

Can I by any chance hide that? Even if I have my webcam plugged in. Like. So the other people can't see if I have a webcam or not?
If i can. How do i do it?
I have the newest MSN Messenger.

Of course you can hide it.

Tools
Options

Read through until you find the webcam option and untick the box.
It's the last option on mine.

:)

<<< Previous Advice Column

Next Advice Column >>>