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he still has feelings for his ex after all this time
My boyfriend seemed perfect to me his nice sweet such a gentlement he makes me happy and i'm actually in love.we've been together for 8 and a half months now and everything has been great he says he loves me. The problem is his ex his ex want nothing to do with him which is a plus but he told me recently that he still has feelings for her it hurts so much .I asked him does he really love me he said yes. I asked him does he want her back he said yes.Now At this point I dont know what to do.
He dated her for 2 years and its been about a year and a half since its been over she was his first girfriend .The question is WHAT IN THE WORLD DO I DO NOW.
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I feel you should come up with your own answer here, hunni. Follow your own heart.
Either carry on with the relationship and see where it takes you, or break it off.
Personally though, if I were in your shoes and my boyfriend told me whilst he still loves me, he WOULD get back with his ex.. I'd be devastated. and to be honest, knowing he would willingly let me go for an EX of all people, I'd have to break up with him because it would hurt too much.
Love should be equal between a couple - no middle person.
I hope everything works out the way you want it to.
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If someone is dating someone and they arent happy or have feelings for someone else, i would just let them go. I wouldn't want to be date somebody that has feelings for another person. I would ask him who he would rather be with and see what his answer is. Make sure he knows what he wants so you dont just get ditched. Good luck!
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I disagree with the answer below. There's a couple different things going on here.
First off, its completely possible and actually kinda common to have feelings for 2 people at once. And its not necessary that the feelings for one person are stronger than the feelings for the other. So just because he told you he still has feelings for his ex and might want her back does not mean that he doesnt have very strong feelings for you, possibly even just as strong.
I dont know if you have ever been in a long term relationship. I was in a relationship with an ex boyfriend for over 3 years. I was the one that broke up with him and we broke up almost 4 years ago. I still love him to this day and I always will. Would I want him back? I honestly dont know the answer to that question and I have been in my current relationship for over 2 years now. It is very very diffucult to completely get over a relationship. Especially if it was a good relationship. And if his ex was his first girlfriend and love, I can tell you he will always have love in his heart for her.
Dont blame him for his feelings. He cant help how he feels. And he is being honest with you about it which is something that 95% of people would not do. The person below me said you shoudl end it so you dont have to worry about him hooking up with his ex, but he was honest with you about his feelings for her, so what would make you think he wouldnt be honest if something happened..
I understand how you are feeling though. My current girlfriend told me at one point that she still had feelings for her ex and she wanted to talk to her about it. It crushed me. It felt like someone dropped a 1000 lb weight on me. I felt like I was punched in the stomach by a sumo wrestler. So believe me, I understand your pain. What you do about it depends on your tolerance and what your willing to deal with. Think of worse case scenario. I would think that the worse case scenario would be that he leaves you for his ex. If you wouldnt be able to handle that or dont want to wait around to see if that happens, then you should leave him. On the other hand, if your willing to wait and see what happens and beleive you can deal with that type of heartbreak, than stick around.
Im sorry that Im not giving you a cut and dry answer like "leave him" or "dont leave him", but I just dont believe its as simple as that. There are many different things to factor into that type of decisions. My best advice to you is #1 try to understand where he's coming from and try to make him understand where you are coming from. #2 Figure out what the best case and worst case scenarios are. Is it more important to you to avoid the worst case scenario or take a chance trying to achieve the best case scenario? And you are the only one who can answer that question.
I wish you the absolute best and feel free to email me anytime.
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It's understandable for him to still miss what they had since it was his first girlfriend and they dated for two years. But he definitely should not still want her back. He's been dating you for 8 1/2 months and they've been broken up for a year and a half. If he's telling you he loves you, but wants his ex back, you need to break things off. As hard as it is, that's a huge warning sign that he might cheat on you. He practically said that he wants to.
Even if his ex doesn't want him, you don't want to have to worry about what he's trying to do behind your back. You deserve much more than that and as perfect as he may seem, that's not a good relationship to be in.
Hope this helps(:
Darby
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As hard as it may be, you need to leave him before he leaves you. If this guy is claiming to love you but is still saying he wants his ex back, he must not love you as much as he claims. You deserve much better than that & you shouldn't have to worry about your boyfriend trying to hook up with his ex.
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