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Should i break up with him?
ok i need serious help. I'm in love with my boyfriend, but the way he's acting is ridiculous.
the other night someone told him that i had started smoking again, he fliped and took my ciggarettes and then yelled at me for not coming to him first. He is so convinced that i'm going to cheat on him with one of my brothers friends that he had a panic attack that put him in the hospital. He wont let me go around my bro. and he is constantly reminding me of how i started smoking behind his back. He told someone behind my back that i dress like a slut around other people(a turtle neck is slutty to him). He went through my fone and called eveyone who txted me!
Thats just the bad though.
i absolutley adore him. i'm in love with him. He's always calling just to say i love you and he always makes sure im comfortable.
but apparently the way he's treating me has caused my best friend to stop talking to me until i leave him because my BFF is tired of me being treated like this.
What should i do!?
PLLLEEEAAASSSEEE HEELLLLP ASAP
Thank you
Love always ~heather
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
I was once in a very controlling relationship much like the one you are in right now. It started out really good, and then got really bad. However I was so infatuated with him, and he chased off all my friends. As a result, he took over my life. I eventually cut all connections with him, and changed my number. Honestly his idle threats sound like crap, so I would just ignore it. You've delt with it for three years, and that is more then long enough to tolerate it. I know you love him, but it's not good for your health to stay with this idiot.
xoxo,
dottie4
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ok, that's just TOO much, really!
i get the fact that you love him, that the makes you feel so secure and all, but still, he doesn't let u LIVE!! this is definitly a trust essue, and the trust takes time, but even thought the realtionship is new, he shouldn't be like that, i mean, don't letting you been with your brother or his friends because he thinks you, maybe, are gonna cheat on him, calling everyone that texts you?? TOO MUCH the smoking thing is just and excuse, to make u feel bad, really, so you started smoking and didn't tell him, ok, your bad, but that should be in the past.
i get that you love him, but you need to put some boundaries, like i said, he doesn't let you live your life, you need some space, or things are gonna get uglier, because jealous boyfriends, don't matter how much he might love you, they could use jealously as an excuse to do something worse. just be carefull, try to talk to him and if he doesn't REALLY change, if you really don't see change, yeah, break up with him, while it still is a nice memory. Hope this helps you!
Malu
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He seems very controlling beneath the lovey dovey act, caused by insecurities and lack of trust.
1. How long have you been with him - because trust takes time.
2. Have you ever done anything to break his trust - because it may have damaged him in some way and needs to build the trust back.
If you've never done anything to break his trust for you (minus the smoking incident), you need to have a serious conversation with him now, because the relationship is making him ILL and it's pushing you away.
Explain to him everything you are feeling - perhaps even show him this question and your cry for help.
Let him know you aren't going to cheat or hurt him and remind him you don't do the same to him as he does to you (I hope that is true..?)
Trusting people takes time but the way he is going about it isn't going to help - everything is just going to make him suspicous.
You need to make him understand if he doesn't stop, it's going to kill your relationship and end in a bad way. That is a fact.
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You probably don't want to hear this, but you may need to leave him. He obviously has serious trust issues, & trust is one of the most important parts of a relationship. Not to mention he's calling you a slut behind your back when he's supposed to love you. And no guy should come between you & your family. You should be able to talk to your brother.
This sounds like the start of what could potentially be an abusive relationship. If you really don't want to leave him for good, maybe tell him that he needs to get help & that you two can get back together when he straightens himself up. But honestly, if he won't, get out now while you still can. If you stay with him, chances are it'll be a lot harder for you to leave him, & he could start abusing you (I know this from experience).
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