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Very complex situation..
To start off, this will be extremely long. I will appreciate it greatly if you take the time to read this, and tell me your feedback. So here it goes.. (Ready?)
19/f
This is a long distance relationship.
Well, it started when our 1 year anniversary hit (Nov, 2008). I call him to give him hints about it and he finally figures it out. So I ask don't you care? He says only 2 year anniversaries and up matter.
So it hit my birthday, which was April 6th. He promised me multiple times he'd call me at the set time of 8:30. He doesn't have a cell phone, just a landline right now. So I said ok. I waited at the phone for two hours then suddenly give him a call at 10:30. He picks up and I yelled at him why the hell didn't you call? He said he forgot. And then I said well fine lets talk now then. He said he can't he wants to watch a tv show instead. So yeah I started to cry and said you'd rather watch a tv show than talk to me, especially since it's my birthday?? He said yeahh. So I called him a jerk and hungup. Cried over it the rest of the night of course.
Then he sends me a letter by mail, it was a card. All it was, was a card with a cat on it, I open it up it ends up being some religious card, and at the bottom it says happy birthday. And on the side he wrote you think I am a jerk but I am not. Look at the back, and I find out this is a card he found with a stack of the same cards. And said nothing about he loved me or anything, and expected some sentimentality on it. Showed a couple of friends and they laughed and said yeah, that is pathetic.
So I call his mom upset and said tell her to tell him don't even bother calling me for awhile until he straightens up. I tell her the story so she's obviously going to yell at him.
So, two weeks pass. He hands out the same excuses: "I'm too tired to talk", "I'm eating", "I'm going to bed", "I don't want to talk"... I try calling him. But he doesn't want to talk.
Distraught, I call his mom. I tell her what's going on since we're pretty close. She said she'll try talking to him but she is sure nothing will work. I seriously recommended military school. She tells me his uncle got him into drinking (possibly drugs), so that can explain his anger and apathy. He just wants to sit around all day, drink, watch tv. He doesn't want a job (he's 19), and when he did have interviews he cancelled them. For what reason I don't know. So I broke up with him. It was very hard..
So tonight, after giving him the silent treatment for a few days. I finally give him a call to see how he's doing. Of course I care about him and love him. I worry about him, even though we're not together. I don't know how it started, but we began to fight. He said he wasn't drinking, but he was yelling at me, telling me to f**k off, and I was with my good friend so he assumed I F***ked my friend behing his back. Which isn't true!! I never cheat!! Would never do it! He also threatens me with a gun, and threatens to beat my friend and i up, along with having his uncle to help. I cried hard. I am scared. He's done this before.. but not this bad. And these threats were heard over speakerphone so a few friends heard it as well.
What should I do? Who should I talk to? He lives in TN; I live in OH, so how can this be resolved?
Thank you again for reading. It means a lot to me.. I just need some advice!
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did you read the whole thing, or just stop at the first sentence? either way, not my problem.
wow, you're a nagging immature little girl.
and don't think I'm just hating on you, I have plenty of complex words to describe your boyfriend too. he's being an ass, anniversaries matter, birthdays matter, getting a job matters (especially at his age, jesus christ, were you planning on taking care of this man-child once he left the nest?), and what the hell, its the thought that counts, but cat cards are what I send to my aunts and uncles as a "hey, I'm still alive, how are you?" card. lot of issues here, WHY THE HELL DID YOU CALL HIS MOTHER!? are you sick? are you trying to get her to sign the adoption papers so you can have her little boy? this dude's AN ADULT! don't go to mommy with problems about your boyfriend, if I had a girl who did something like that and I hadn't been wounded or killed in combat, I would get rid of her like she was some form of vermin. the dude rightfully hates it when you call all the time, albeit I'd actually talk to you. Now as for this screaming and threatening bullshit, is this a person you'd like as a permanent entity in your life? bottom line: the guy's a douche, you're a nag, Fix yourself, and never talk to the scumbag again.
-Gunner
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Look at the facts here. You are the one who calls him. All the time. When you do call him he always gets off the phone because he would rather be doing something else. He sends you a card that someone would send to a friend or someone they werent very close with. Im not trying to be mean here sweetie but it sounds like hes really not into you. He makes no kind of effort and doesnt even want to talk to you most of the time. Get rid of him and find someone else who is actually into you and wants to spend time and talk to you. Your wasting your time with this guy. You can find someone much much better and you will be happier when you do.
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Hey sweetheart, dumped the loser, sorry jus had to say it, no really long distance relationships never work, I actually was in one for 3 years and we went to a match made in heaven to enemys in the flames of hell we slowly drifted apart, and thts gonna happen, either one of you will let go, and it sounds like he was the first, I'm a guy, and its a lot easier for a guy to move on, cause he's more on the go, and quick to decide make and you know we always make the wrong decisions!! This is wht you do, he knows your gonna be there for him, don't be show him your loosin intrest, even if your really not, sike him out, don't call as much, slow it down, he's gonna notice and either hell pull the crying card, or the I don't give a f**k card, but seriously when he lays in bed at night byhimself without his boys or uncle, he's gonna finally realize what he gots, but it will probly be gone!! Stay strong, and mingle a lil it will get your mind off things, and you will realize there's good men out there, goodluck, and tell him I said he's an ass hole for forgetting, your b-day, and your one year aniversary, don't waste your time cause honestly people never change, if they do its only in time, they'll find those, poisoned roots, but it will be to late for you to get out, chk my site out its really cool www.poetrypoem.com/sadi leave some feedback, take care, and goodluck honey!! JE
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Why do you even want this resolved. He clearly doesn't give a damn about you or about himself by the sounds of it.
It's a GOOD thing you aren't with him and I definitely feel you should just forget about wasting time on him and move on.
He didn't treat you nicely and couldn't be bothered with the relationship. Long distance is very hard and you certainly don't need the likes of him to bring you down.
Move on. and find someone who deserves you and WANTS to make you feel special and loved.
Don't bother contacting him again and if he contacts you, do yourself a favour and ignore him.
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