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Okay, here's the deal. I'm satisfied with my appearance. I'm down to the weight that I want to be. I've been told that I'm pretty before by my friends. ... But guys never approach me or anything. I've been told that I'm shy as well, and I try to take that into consideration, but I'm not sure what's wrong with me. I'm in eighth grade and I've never had a boyfriend. Please help. I give fives. (link)
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You're very young, still, so give yourself time. Just because some other girls your age have boyfriends doesn't mean that YOU have to. To be honest, you'll be happier in the long run if you wait a while, until you're really ready.
But having said all that, I have a few suggestions. I'm a little shy myself, so I can sympathize. Here are some things you can do to make yourself more approachable:
1. Smile. Sounds easy, doesn't it? But it's true: if you smile, you will look prettier and friendlier, and people will be more likely to talk to you. That doesn't mean "grin like a hyena", though; just try to keep a gentle smile on your face as much as possible. After a few weeks it will become almost automatic.
2. Make eye contact. We shy people tend to avoid eye contact, and that sends a very negative message. Force yourself to look people in the eye and smile at them, and you'll find yourself not only being *treated* differently, you'll find yourself FEELING different - more positive and confident.
3. Address people by name. Make an extra effort to remember the names of people you meet, and USE their names when you talk to them. It makes a difference.
4. Try to relax. People can sense nervousness, and it puts them off. You may need to practice meditation, or relaxation techniques (you can find a lot of good information about those online), but find a way to make a calm place inside yourself.
Good luck!
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Im looking for a complete A-Z list of all the columnists on here. The category I require isnt listed. As you can see Ive had to put Cross stitching in Hobbies>Music hhhhhmmmmmmm Any ideas where to look?
Paula (link)
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This seems to be two questions in one, which confuses me a little. But here goes.
As far as I can tell, it isn't possible to get an A-Z listing of all columnists - and I tried, believe me. I'm not sure why you would *want* such a listing, but if you feel it would be worthwhile, suggest it using the "Make Suggestions" link on the left sidebar. Give DangerNerd some reasons why you think an alphabetical listing would be valuable, and he may decide to implement it.
As for the categories, I can sympathize. My hobby doesn't fit into any of the existing hobby categories either. I think there should be a "Hobbies: General" category. In fact, I'm going to make that suggestion right now!
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Hoe do I break up with a guy with out hurting him too much? Especially if he's kinda sensitive, because I don't wanna deal with the emotional roller-coaster that I've been riding lately, and I don't think either of us are really mature enough for a relationship at this point, but how do I tell him all this without bruising his ego or breaking his heart or something? (link)
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I'm sorry, but there's pretty much no way to avoid bruising his ego and breaking his heart.
The best you can do is give him an excuse for himself, something he can concentrate on. If you tell him that you need to break up with him because the relationship is too intense, he'll almost certainly tell himself that it wasn't his fault - you just couldn't handle the intensity of his love.
One more thing: DON'T say "let's be friends" or anything like it. Please. There's no phrase in the world that's better at crushing a guy's heart. Just look a bit sad when you break up with him, so he can imagine that your heart is broken at the prospect of losing him.
That should console him a little.
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i'm that guy from the chat room...my mom had serious issues...yankee redhead...i never told you my advicenators username. it's AlanTipert.
she's gotten worse. she wants me in juvey. just because. it's funny...she tries to outsmart me but can't. i'll check the chats and see if you're in there now. (link)
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I got this half an hour after you posted it, but you weren't in the chat room when I checked. I stuck around for a while, but eventually had to go to sleep.
I'll continue to keep an eye out. Right now, though, I'm bewildered. How can she send you to juvie if you haven't done anything? I mean, it's not like it's a hotel. I thought you had to commit some sort of offense to go there?
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i was just wondering what a christians view was on cousins going out. is it a sin? and no, i'm not going out, or in love with my cousin! (link)
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You may find this link useful:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Biblical_references_to_incest
In itself, I can find nothing in the Bible that says that dating is a sin. Fornication, of course, is a very different story.
Many of the legal restrictions against incest are based on the degree of consanguinity - that it, the degree of relation by blood. Under that reasoning, first-degree cousins by blood are forbidden to marry in most American states. On the other hand, most other nations of the world allow it. You can find more information about the genetics and legality of the issue here:
http://www.straightdope.com/columns/041001.html
Good luck!
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this is'nt a random wirdo but i could,nt find anything in this area. im a 13m and i have a little problem. my friends keep laughing at me about my eyebows. and i dont know what to do, ya see if i pulk my eyebows im a fag but if i dont do anything, im a freak, so how can i get rid of my bushy unabrow without being judged. (link)
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Try going over your eyebrows with an electric beard trimmer on its shortest setting. That will keep them from being too bushy, but won't make them look unnaturally shaped.
Good luck!
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Can someone help me. I'm 24. Since i've broken up with my girlfriend six months ago, i've moved back in with friends and have decided to go travelling round the world which i leave for in november. The trouble is since the break up i've been suffering from sleep deprevation and find that i'm waking up a lot during the night, a lot of the times thinking about my previous relationship even though i'm glad i'm out of it now. I've also become obessed with getting fit and eating right before i go away. The trouble is i'm constantly reading nutrition information to a point of obsession and always counting my calorie intake for the day, feeling guilty if i've gone over the top. I'm constantly worried about my weight and keep on checking my stomach incase i'm getting fat, which is extreme because i'm 6 foot two and weigh in at 78 kg. Are these things all linked? How can i just chill out like i used to be? I've tryed hypnosis but to no avail. (link)
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I'd guess that all those symptoms are linked.
I'm not a behavioral specialist, but it sounds very much to me as if you have Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD). There may be other issues as well. If so, hypnosis is not normally the best tool to use against OCD.
It's a common misconception to think that this sort of thing can be "thought away", that it's a flaw in your personality. But the problem is neurochemical, as real and physical as a fractured skull. It requires professional care.
The good news is that there are effective treatments available, generally a combination of medication and therapy. Talk to your doctor; she or he can refer you to a specialist for a full evaluation.
Good luck!
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ok, so my doctor prescribed amoxicillion. but i was wondering if its going to make me hyper and crazy lik some other stuff i've taken.
will it?
thanks!
15/f (link)
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Amoxicillin is probably the most common antibiotic in use these days, since penicillin has been pretty much rendered useless through over-prescribing by doctors over the years.
Unless you're allergic, you're unlikely to have any reaction apart from the chance of stomach upset and diarrhea.
Hyperactivity and erratic behavior are not listed in the U.S. National Library of Medicine entry for that drug:
http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/druginfo/medmaster/a685001.html
In other words, you don't have anything to worry about. Well, apart from whatever infection you're taking the Amoxicillin for, of course.
Good luck!
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This is an odd question But when did Dashboard Confessional first come out?? Like are they an older band or newer IDk im just WOndering.... (link)
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The band formed in 2000 and have put out four albums so far. The last one was in 2003, so they seem to be running a bit late. There's no indication in their AllMusic entry that they've broken up, though.
Speaking of which, AllMusic is basically an online encyclopedia for popular music and musicians. You might find it useful. http://www.allmusic.com/
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13/f
..so, i wanted to no..
wat kind of makeup do models and actors/actresses wear??
b/c i mean, i've always wanted to have that look, its kinda lik a glow..
..thanks
..will rate high! (link)
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I don't know what sort of makeup they use (sorry, but I'm a guy; it's just not in my genes :D), but I CAN tell you that all those models and actresses are filmed under INCREDIBLY bright lights. PAINFULLY bright lights.
I suspect that's a big part of the reason their skin glows...
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Lets say my period is normal .. well I had it on Aug. 9 of this year and finished Aug. 16th would that mean I would get it again a month from when I started or a month from when it finished? Thankss and what days should i be concerned that its close? (link)
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Your body isn't clockwork; every woman experiences some period irregularity in her life. The "normal" cycle is about 28.5 days, but no one has ever been perfectly normal.
Particularly if you're young, by the way; girls tend to be more irregular when they've only been menstruating for a little while. Eventually your body will probably settle down a bit, although every woman is different.
All that said, you should probably try to *learn* from your body. It's most likely that you'll start your next period about 28.5 days after the last time that you started it, but you personally may be a bit different. If you're that concerned, you should keep a record of your periods; that would help you predict the next one. Your OB/GYN is likely to think that that's a very good idea, by the way.
Another good idea is to ALWAYS have some pads or tampons or whatever with you, just in case.
Good luck!
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if your boyfriend and you are all together alone bth of y'all or very horny but you are afraid to take off your clothes infront of him what are you suppose to do? (link)
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If you're afraid to take your clothes off in front of him, then you're really not ready for sex - which is, I presume, what you're thinking of.
Of course, it also depends on WHY you're afraid to take your clothes off in front of him. It could be that you're embarrassed about your body, and think that he might say something that would hurt or embarrass you. Let me tell you this: NEVER make love with anyone that you don't trust TOTALLY. If you don't yet trust your boyfriend enough to let him see you naked, how can you trust him enough to let him have sex with you?
It sounds as if you're young, probably below the age of consent. If that's so, there are a lot of good reasons to wait until you're older and feel really comfortable with yourself, and him. Relationships tend to break up when young teens have sex - that's an unfortunate fact. There's also the danger of pregnancy, of course.
I hope you don't need me to tell you this, but when the time comes, you ALWAYS need to practice safe sex. And if you do plan to have sex, you should definitely talk to your OB/GYN about birth control options *first*.
There are still ways to relieve horniness without going all the way or taking all of your clothes off. Take it slow, and give yourself time.
Good luck!
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heya i think im pregnant havn't had a period in 2 months getting all the signs, i'm getting a test for sure when i get paid next week :D
im just worrying if i am what should i be eating more or less of and what should i definatly avoid eating?? thank you! (link)
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First, the obvious stuff: if you smoke (ANYTHING), stop. If you drink alcohol, stop. Stop taking ANY prescription medication until you've checked with your doctor or OB/GYN to make sure that it's safe. You should even avoid over-the-counter medications, because some of them could have a bad effect on your baby - if you're pregnant, that is.
Stop drinking caffeine (you can switch to decaffeinated drinks, although even those have a *little* bit of caffeine and should be avoided). Make sure to drink plenty of water. Eat the most healthy diet that you can - that means fruits, vegetables, and plenty of protein. Make sure to get plenty of calcium too.
Take the most powerful multivitamins that you can find, until you see your OB/GYN and get a prescription for prenatal vitamins.
Of course, all of this assumes that you're pregnant.
If the home test says that you're NOT pregnant, you should still see your OB/GYN. Home tests are remarkably accurate if used correctly, but there is always the chance of a mistake, however small. And if your period has stopped for some other reason, you need to know why - it could be serious.
I probably don't need to tell you this, but if it turns out that you're not pregnant, and you don't want to BECOME pregnant soon, make sure to practice safe sex. Your OB/GYN can help you with birth-control options.
Here are a couple of websites with useful information:
http://www.pregnancy-info.net/
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/pp2/portal/medicalinfo/pregnancy/;jsessionid=801695D998523732B72B3B0E460A32F5
PS - I later spoke to my wife, who naturally knows more about pregnancy (well, SOME aspects of pregnancy) than I do. She pointed out two things: One, that you should call your doctor IMMEDIATELY if you are taking prescription drugs, because obviously you shouldn't stop taking a drug if you need it to stay alive or sane. Two, apparently prenatal vitamins are available over-the-counter. They're not cheap, though, so you should certainly take the home pregnancy test first.
Best of luck!
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Is there anyway i can find out if my ex still likes me? because I still like him a ton. & hes been IMing me a lot lately & saying like some of our old insiders. Is there anything i should do? & i Dont know if he has a girlfriend because in his profile it said i LOVE U SO & SO. & Now he took it out. So im not sure if they broke up or whatever.
(link)
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It sounds like they broke up, so he may be at liberty.
As for how to find out if he still likes you, he obviously still likes you enough to IM you a lot. Believe me, most guys don't bother dealing with girls they don't like.
But there's a very easy way to find out if he does, a way that most people never seem to think of: you could ask him. It's really not that hard. And the worst he could do is say "no", which at worst might hurt for a little while. Although I REALLY don't think he'll say that.
Good luck!
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is it wrong for a 13M to have been never been kissed. (link)
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Not at all. Do it when you're ready.
I didn't start kissing until I was 33, and now I'm married and have a son. I wouldn't recommend waiting as long as I did, but at 13, you certainly shouldn't panic.
When you're 18 or so, THEN you can panic. :D
But I'd suggest not building it up too much in your mind. Kissing is great, but if you worry about it too much, and get desperate, it can push girls away - they can tell when a boy is desperate. And you certainly don't want that.
Good luck!
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This is a question specifically for you because I know you to be an intelligent, level-headed atheist and this isn't a question I want bogged down with religious answers.
This is slightly long; please bear with me. I don't know where else to turn. I'd try LJ, but people on LJ often seem inherently cruel. And I know 0 atheists in 'real life'.
Here goes: I am an atheist, and a very 'strong' atheist. I don't simply have a lack in religious belief; I have an active belief in the absence of god. My dutiful senses of logic and rationality force me into such a position, because I feel with almost complete certainty that there is no god, no purpose in design, no real purpose in life, and such.
The sad part is, at 18 I feel like I have truly gotten it all figured out. A lot of this stems from my obsessive studying, an interest in evolutionary biology, and my recent reading of Dawkins' stuff. What purpose can there be in life if we are truly nothing but the biological machines cleverly operated by selfish genes and all that?
Recently, this viewpoint and the typical absurdity of religion has pushed me into a state of perpetual despair. The thought of each moment being fleeting and then gone, the thought of each emotion and desire and relationship being nothing but pre-programmed genetic adaptations makes me sick at heart.
The worst part is the unnatural fear of death. Me, everything that makes me ME, will simply be gone forever when I die, only existing, uselessly, as rapidly fading memories in others' minds, who will also cease to exist one day. Each breath I take could be my last, and if it's not then it's certainly one breath close to death. My brother died at 19, when I was 15, of cancer - I have the most abhorrent fear of cancer imaginable. It's to the point where I habitually feel my lymph nodes to detect the slightest bit of swelling, and I assume the worst when I get even slight headaches or chest pains.
In short, it's consuming my life. I'm starting to see why some people turn religious: they simply become overwhelmed by the sheer despair of a meaningless life.
Sadly, I'm sure these feelings are normal and have their own evolutionary explanation, probably something along the lines of the unfortunate side-effects of having a sentient mind. Now I console myself by hoping that I don't have it all figured out and that I will, someday, with more wisdom, adopt a different outlook.
Please give me some sort of advice. My only hope is having someone else introduce a new idea, or a new viewpoint to me that makes more sense and carries more hope than my own pathetically nihilistic ones.
Thank you for your time. (link)
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I hesitated for a long time before trying to answer this. Why? Well, for one thing there could obviously be a lot riding on my answer. It's a very serious question.
I know, because by an odd coincidence you're not the first person I've known with this particular issue. There was someone earlier on Advicenators, but before that there was someone I knew in college. And THAT led to one of the most memorable and difficult experiences in my life. A long story; I don't have the time to go into it now.
Another reason is that I have a *lot* to say on this subject. And I know that after I finish, I will almost certainly find myself thinking of *new* things to say. So you may want to email me (my address is in my profile) to discuss this further.
Of course, Katarina delayed my answer even more.
But let's get down to business.
>I feel with almost complete certainty that there
>is no god, no purpose in design, no real purpose
>in life, and such.
It seems to me that you've made a link that isn't justified. Why is a god necessary to have purpose in life? Why do you assume that purpose is only possible via divine intervention? By making that connection, you've bought into a religious viewpoint - a viewpoint that you had already discarded.
Meaning can be found through the action of a creator, OR in the mind of the observer. For example, you can perceive beauty in a painting, beauty deliberatedly created by the painter. But you can also find beauty in natural scenery, which was (I think you'd agree) not created by intelligent design. That beauty exists entirely within your own mind - you made it. It was not dependent on the intentional act of a creator.
Which brings to mind the old saying, of course, that "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder." :D
Now, you may point out that beauty is not necessarily the same thing as capital-M Meaning or purpose in life. But the comparison is still pretty apt, I think. You CAN create your own meaning, and, in fact, since you're an atheist, you already assume that everyone DOES - there's no God, after all, so believers who feel that God lends their lives meaning are, in your eyes, actually creating their OWN meaning and deluding themselves as to their source of their beliefs.
And in any case, life creates its own meaning. We *are* living things, and as such, we have in each cell a purpose: to live, and ultimately to pass our genes along by reproducing. Moving on to a more philosophical level, a natural corollary is our desire to perpetuate our minds by passing on those *ideas* which we favor; our personal memes.
We can derive our ethics from those basic, observable facts of life: we live, and we want to continue living. If we can't continue the lives of our bodies, we take what we can get: a share in racial immortality via our children, and through our ideas. These may seem paltry compared to the immortality promised by so many religions, but they have the advantage of being based on certainty. We need not have faith to know that our children will carry a portion of our own unique genetic heritage onward, and that by spreading our ideas (which can be done in many ways; by teaching, for example, or even just talking) we perpetuate a portion of our minds in the minds of others.
And by upholding and advocating those principles which are most effective at perpetuating the best elements of our culture and species, we join ourselves to that culture and species, entities which are certainly much more long-lived than ourselves, if not necessarily immortal.
Which is another way of saying that we are social creatures. Our lives, our deaths, everything we do has some impact on others. THAT's meaning.
>What purpose can there be in life if we are
>truly nothing but the biological machines
>cleverly operated by selfish genes and all that?
Ah, we come to the eternal issue: free will versus determinism. That's an issue I wrestled with and debated long and hard over the years.
I have two answers for you. One is that if we are really nothing more than biological machines, if our self-consciousness and feeling of free will is nothing more than a delusion, then the question itself is meaningless! In other words, if we're nothing more than biological machines, then our struggle with that question is pointless, like a computer programmed to play Pong against itself.
If that's the case, we may be foreordained to suffer over the issue. But the suffering is meaningless because we'll reach whatever conclusion we're programmed to settle on. And as beings without free will, we cannot really suffer, any more than a toaster suffers when you drop and break it.
I suspect that inside, you feel otherwise. You *feel* that your suffering is real. Which, I'd argue, means that it IS real.
And if it isn't, if there's no way to determine if we have free will or not...then you are free to chose the answer which you prefer. I'd suggest chosing the one that makes you happier. And I don't know anyone who would want to believe that they were a hapless robot, a creature without real self-consciousness.
Besides, there's always old faithful: cogito ergo sum. That's a pretty powerful argument, I think; we *think*, and each of us KNOWS that we think. To argue that our self-awareness is somehow not real is itself paradoxical. How can you argue that you don't, effectively, exist? Why would you argue to persuade beings who are (according to the deterministic viewpoint) completely incapable of changing their minds?
And if our self-awareness is somehow not real, what is "real" self-awareness?
I have another answer that derives from quantum mechanics, which, I'll admit, I don't really understand. But I am told by scientists who I have reason to trust that at the most basic level of the universe, there is a fundamental uncertainty. It's not like a pool table, where if you know the precise physics of every element you'll know with absolute certainty the final resting place of every ball; instead, there are situations where a subatomic particle could really go in any number of directions in response to the same initial input. At that level, cause and effect break down.
It seems to me that our free will may ultimately be based on that quantum uncertainty. The universe itself is, in the most basic way, unpredictable - to some degree, anyway.
My time is running short; I'll have to post this and go home soon. I was afraid of this.
>The worst part is the unnatural fear of death.
>Me, everything that makes me ME, will simply be
>gone forever when I die, only existing,
>uselessly, as rapidly fading memories in others'
>minds, who will also cease to exist one day.
I have four responses.
One is that the mark you make on others need not fade and be useless as long as our species continues. Your assessment seems to be more an emotional one than one based on facts; that's fine, but remember that you have some control over your emotions, some *choice* about how you feel.
I can certainly tell you this: once you've had a child and held him or her in your hands, you'll never question the purpose of life again. And if that's not possible, or doesn't happen for you, you can still make a mark that will last in other ways. Particularly by helping and teaching others, especially the young.
Hmm. I suppose that explains what I'm doing here on Advicenators - obtaining a little more immortality for myself, by proxy, by passing on some of the things I've learned - the things that make me, me.
Another answer, a rather mystical one, is that Time is a matter of our perception. We are carried along a line between the past and the future, constantly occupying a place we call the present. But although we can't perceive it directly, in some ways all of Time exists at once. This is really philosophy rather than science, but there's no rule that says that atheists can't philosophize.
Of course we use memory as a feeble tool to time-bind the past, too.
I'm sorry, but I don't have the scientific knowledge to explain what I'm trying to say. Basically, as I see it, every thing that *has* ever existed DOES still exist in some way. That doesn't amount to an afterlife, nor does it mean that the dead are in any way still conscious or alive. But somehow it gives me comfort to know that those I care about who have died are still there; their entire lives are still there, back through a veil of Time that I can never pierce, but only peer through via memory.
Sorry to get so mystical on you. :D
Here's my third answer for death: Do you fear sleeping at night without dreams? During that time you are no longer aware of your own existence, after all; it's hard to imagine anything more like death. Likewise, the time before we were born is not something we regard with dread. The truth is, when we are dead we will be *dead*, and (you and I believe) beyond any fear or pain. We will no longer exist as beings which can suffer, but only in our children, in the things we've created, and in the impressions we've made on the lives of other human beings.
So we can only fear death...when we're not dead! Which makes the issue practically moot.
Of course, we can still quite logically fear death for others. We can also fear pain for ourselves. But the fear doesn't serve us; it merely adds more pain in advance of whatever we might later experience. The fear is useless.
Knowing that doesn't make it any easier to NOT fear, but for those who fear excessively, there are techniques that we can use to reduce the fear to manageable dimensions. Relaxation techniques can help. In some cases, therapy is a useful tool. Medication is available, too, for desperate circumstances.
I used to fear death terribly. I still worry about it a little sometimes, but for the most part, I've found that it's not as terrifying as it used to be. Fear itself is far more terrible than death, and I've lived with fear and survived for many years. To me, fear is the real enemy. It's done far more harm to me than death has, or will - because death is just the end of my "self", while fear HURTS me and stunts my life. Without fear, death has no real power over me. So I aim my efforts and energy towards defeating fear, rather than worrying about death.
I feel as if I'm rushing pell-mell to finish this, and that's something I really didn't want to do. But I only have ten minutes, and then I have to catch a train.
My last answer for death: We can hope to delay or even forestall it. I've read that for every year we live, we add one month to our projected lifespan. Medical science has made huge strides in a remarkably short time. There have been recent studies in which the life spans of mice have been extended by one-third through a hormone. There's no knowing what will happen, but there's at least a chance of extended personal life for us.
And if it comes to that, although cryogenics seems like a very long shot, it's yet another tool; a long-shot gamble in being revived in a future which has conquered physical death. It's certainly a better gamble than the alternative, decomposition or cremation. :D
I have so little time!
In the end, I think that the important thing to remember is something I realized only recently: in a very important way, YOU control how much life you have. If you settle into a dull routine, spend long periods not thinking, not feeling, not making each moment COUNT, then life will pass with AMAZING speed. Death will rush up to you in practically no time at all.
The same goes if your life is filled with fear and apprehension.
But if you pack each moment with experiences, feelings, and thought, you'll live an effective lifetime that's DECADES longer than most people. Make as many moments as possible *meaningful* ones, meaningful according to the standards that YOU select, and you'll find that there isn't time to worry about mortality. And when/if the day comes that you find yourself faced with death at last, you'll feel less fear, perhaps no fear at all, knowing that you used your time as best you could, and passed the best of yourself along to others.
In other words, as an atheist you (and I) believe that this life is all that we get. So it's just common sense to make the most of it.
And now I've got to catch my train. Write to me whenever you feel like it. Good luck!
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I just went to an endicrenologist (sp?) and they took a bone age test to see how much longer I'm going to grow. I am very short (4.9) so thats why we did it. They said I was just about done growing. I am not elgible for hormone injections (they make you grow faster). I don't know what they mean about saying I have only a little bit more to grow. Does that mean on height? My boobs are still small and my hips have barely grown! What do they mean? (link)
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You should definitely talk to your doctor for more information. However, your skeletal growth is not closely linked to hormonal and sexual changes. So I strongly suspect that you will continue to "develop" - you just won't get much taller.
You didn't say how old you are, but odds are that apart from height, your growth process will proceed pretty much like everyone else's. You may be a little slower or a little quicker, but by the time you reach the age of 18-20 you'll be at your full growth in just about every way.
Your best guide to the final state of your physical development is your mother and other female blood relatives, by the way. That's not an absolute rule, but the odds are very good that your final proportions will be a lot like theirs, even if you're not as tall as they are.
But talk to your doctor; she or he should be able to give you more information.
4'9" is a great height, by the way. I've known a couple of girls who were that tall, and they seemed quite happy to be that way. And they were certainly well-developed. One of them turned down an offer to appear in Playboy magazine, as I recall. :D
Good luck!
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i am attempting to move from england to belgium with my 19 month old son to set up home with my current partner. my ex partner (father of my son and whom i unfortunatly married) told me 8 weeks ago he no longer wanted to see his son until we were divorced, i said fine as i believe he is uncapable of looking after a child anyway. but now he finds out i am moving away he suddenly wants to see his son again, how will this affect me moving? can he legally stop me going does anyone know? (link)
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I'm afraid that you'll need an expert on the custody laws of the EU to answer that question.
I'm not one, but I found a link that may give you some helpful information: http://europa.eu.int/comm/justice_home/ejn/parental_resp/parental_resp_ec_en.htm
I think, though, that ultimately you may have to speak with an attorney.
Good luck!
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Seriously! I've asked a number of questions to you, and I got awesome answers! You're like the best Advicenator on the site! Really, you are! How do you do it? What's your secret? My point is, YOU ROCK!!!
-Dakmor (link)
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Thanks! I always feel weird when I'm complimented, but thanks. :D
I guess the secret is to live a long time, make mistakes, and learn from them. Using what you've learned to help other people kind of redeems those mistakes, at least partly.
It also helps to have a trick memory, and to read a lot. Neither of which I can take credit for; they just happened.
But there are a lot of great columnists on Advicenators. Your own column is pretty great, you know. :D
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I might be starting a drama club next year and I'm thrilled, but I have one problem. I know I'll probably get stage fright or something along the lines of that. I've been up on stage before and I got kind of nervous but not too but, but this is different. A lot of people come to see the plays, and if I get a leading role, I don't want to get super scared.
Is there anything that I can do to help my nerves? (link)
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If it's any comfort, the more time you spend on the stage, the easier it should be.
Other than that...avoid caffeine before performances. Keep your blood sugar level by drinking unsweetened fruit juice instead.
Practice relaxation techniques. Even one as simple as the three relaxing breaths should help:
Start by breathing from your stomach-area rather than your chest. Of course you don't literally breathe from your stomach; the point is that your belly should expand and contract when you breathe. You may have to practice that a bit.
Take three deep, slow breaths. Each time, let the air come out of you naturally; don't force anything. After three breaths you'll feel calmer and less stressed.
You can use the three relaxing breaths to calm down as often as you like during the day. The more you practice them, the better you'll get at using them.
Follow that up by making a conscious effort to relax your muscles, particularly your chest, shoulders, scalp, and face. An additional advantage to relaxing your chest and breathing from your stomach is that your voice will naturally become a little more vibrant and audible, which is almost always good when you're on the stage.
Good luck - or, if you're old-fashioned, break a leg! :D
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