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I don't know what to do.
Okay, here's the deal. I'm satisfied with my appearance. I'm down to the weight that I want to be. I've been told that I'm pretty before by my friends. ... But guys never approach me or anything. I've been told that I'm shy as well, and I try to take that into consideration, but I'm not sure what's wrong with me. I'm in eighth grade and I've never had a boyfriend. Please help. I give fives.
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I think you answered your own question. At your age, being shy is hard. It's difficult to really get to know guys. They're usually intimidated by girls especially if you dont talk up much. But being shy is good too, so dont get me wrong here. I doubt there's anything wrong with you but give the guys some time. Once they mature a little more they'll open up and all you'll have to do is respond and flirt like crazy!!! Sometimes the longer you wait, the better guy you get.
4Him, Disciple
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You're totally fine. Give yourself some time, you're only in eighth grade. I can see that you're happy with your appearance, which is good because that will bring self-confidence around (in due time). I've had one boyfriend -- still with him too, cause' he's a great guy. And that doesn't say enough. I was never one to really be "into" guys like some girls were, I've probably only like three guys in my whole life. One of those guys is the one that I've liked the longest - and the one that I'm going out with. There've been guys that like me but I didn't like them. Even now, there are guys that like me (besides my boyfriend) and .. frankly, I don't like it. If you're like me, you'll come to discover that it's NOT that big of a deal when you have a bunch of guys that like you. You might even find it annoying -- I do. But you have to remember that all guys do things a little differently. Some of them might like you, so they ignore you. Another might like you, so he teases you. Yet another might like you, so he pursues a relationship with your best friend to get closer to you. You'll never know.
I am also a shy person. Last night I went to church with my boyfriend, and it was really challanging for me because they have such a small youth group. They played charades - something my large-ish youth group would NEVER attempt. I kind of felt really silly doing that though. I was supposed to act out someone who is afraid of crashing on a mountain biking trip and losing their leg. That would be one heck of an accident. :) That was difficult for me, even though there were only 15 or so people in the room. Later on we had to pray (in small groups) for each other, and considering that I didn't really know any of them, it was hard for me. But I have really been trying to overcome my shyness. You can do it too. It seems much harder than it really is.
Some guys like self confidence in girls. Others like shy, quiet girls. Others like girls who are very forward. Still others like "prudes." Each one is different - just like you. You'll find the right guy eventually.
Be yourself. Try not to think about what other people are thinking of you, and focus on what you think of yourself. I'm not trying to say you should dye your hair green and purple and wear black, pink, yellow and lime green clothes just because you don't have to think about what others think of you; but I am saying you should be your own person. Take chances - shop at the thrift store, wear red Converses with a pink shirt, put black streaks in your hair, do things a little differently. You don't have to be "weird" about it, unless you want to. I am a good example of this. I do wear red Converses, but never pink. I like black, but that's not all. My dad said I could get black streaks in my hair, but my mom's not keen on the idea. =P I read the dictionary because I like to have an extensive vocabulary. I do writing workbooks for fun. I'm just a chick of a different color. :)
Dispite my efforts, I can't get rid of guys. Oh my gosh. It's annoying. I don't really mind it if they'll act decent and well behaved, but the majority of them go crazy.
It's not as big of a deal as you think. Trust me. I used to think that just because I hadn't kissed a guy, or held his hand, or had a boyfriend that I was doomed to be that way forever. But it's not so. You'll find the right guy at the right time. Don't let other people get you down just because they've had fifty boyfriends, gone to third base, and have a date for the next six Friday AND Saturday nights. They're not worth it. I know girls and guys who've dated more people than I even know. Yah, sad. You don't have to be like that. It just seems to me that someone who dates like that would get... bored. Dating would be a monotonous thing; it'd be dull. Having a boyfriend/girlfriend would seem ... ordinary. For me, and for you when you find the right one, having a boyfriend is extremely special. It's something to be treasured. Don't push yourself to ALWAYS have a boyfriend. You'll find it's not worth it in the end.
-FunnyCide
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You're very young, still, so give yourself time. Just because some other girls your age have boyfriends doesn't mean that YOU have to. To be honest, you'll be happier in the long run if you wait a while, until you're really ready.
But having said all that, I have a few suggestions. I'm a little shy myself, so I can sympathize. Here are some things you can do to make yourself more approachable:
1. Smile. Sounds easy, doesn't it? But it's true: if you smile, you will look prettier and friendlier, and people will be more likely to talk to you. That doesn't mean "grin like a hyena", though; just try to keep a gentle smile on your face as much as possible. After a few weeks it will become almost automatic.
2. Make eye contact. We shy people tend to avoid eye contact, and that sends a very negative message. Force yourself to look people in the eye and smile at them, and you'll find yourself not only being *treated* differently, you'll find yourself FEELING different - more positive and confident.
3. Address people by name. Make an extra effort to remember the names of people you meet, and USE their names when you talk to them. It makes a difference.
4. Try to relax. People can sense nervousness, and it puts them off. You may need to practice meditation, or relaxation techniques (you can find a lot of good information about those online), but find a way to make a calm place inside yourself.
Good luck!
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Eight grade? So you're 13? Seriously love, it doesn't matter. My first and only serious girlfriend (so far) started at 16. And before that I had loads of girlfriends, some at 13. But the point is- THEY WERE ALL CRAP! If you REALLY want a boyfriend, then you can be bolshy or slutty or something but lets get things clear- at 13, boys are dorks. Dull, immature, sex-obsessed even if they don't know what sex actually is. I was dork, all my friends were dorks, every bloke was, at some point in his life, a mean, shallow 13 year old. Stuff 'em, frankly.
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There is nothing wrong with you. Don't go looking for a boyfriend and pick up any guy that will like you, the right guy will come to you (I don't mean never flirt with guys, but don't just go out with a guy because he's the only one that will like you). There is a right time for everything, and some girls get boyfriends young, some don't. I mean, most of my friends aren't going out with anyone, and I haven't been in a really serious relationship yet, but I think the time will come soon. Save yourself for a great guy that will treat you right, and you'll be glad you waited for him.
Much love,
mystical_breeze
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I know that it probably seems like everything is all down hill when it comes to guys right now. It was for me too. I did the same as you did. I lost weight to get notice from the guys and let me tell you, I got attention for losing the weight, but they still didn't change their view about me. Sometimes guys feel threaten by creative, determined, smart, goodlooking girls who are satisfied and confident with their appearance. That's alright. That's there problem not yours. I know that you feel a bit desolate. But trust me. Remain yourself. You're in the eigth grade and these guys are in the 8th grade. They're immature. They haven't grown up yet. Sometimes it takes guys longer to mature b/c with different guys there are different times of growth. Some take longer to grow. Again that is there problem not yours. Trust me. You'll see when you get in high school. I thought the same and you know really, things are looking up . They really are so I hope the same thing happens for you. BE yourself, do what you want to, when you want to. Your day will come.
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Theres nothing wrong i didnt have a bf till i was 16.My advice would be although ur growing up and a BF WOULD SEEM TO BE THE NEXT STAGE look on developing yourself work on your conforance (dont become big headed) be active taking part in sport of any activitys and look to make friends with a guys and girls. Dont rush into things although your growing up teenage bf doesnt equal a real grown up relationship which takes time to develop and problem solving and dealing with bills, work commitments.
When you do get your first bf it would be special and worth while. :)
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