Hey y'all. I started this whole advice thing cuz i absolutely luv people and giving advice. I'll try to help the best I can with whatever problem you have. I've been through a little of everything so ask away and don't be shy!
E-mail: e.sherhart@comcast.net
Gender: Female
Location: TEXAS!!!
Occupation: Violinist
Age: 16
AIM: rikatree2375
Member Since: July 29, 2005
Answers: 255
Last Update: September 12, 2006
Visitors: 16316
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I am a STRONG supporter of the homosexuals and transvestites. My best friend is homosexual indeed and he will always remain my best friend.. I'm 14/f by the way. Anyways. I know that about 80% of the people in our school are homophobic and about 50% of them will harm my homosexual friends mentally and sometimes physically. I myself am bisexual but I haven't come out of the closet yet. Not even to my best friend. The thing is that I've lost several friends now since I declared my homosexual friend my best friend. I don't mind because I know that they are too shallow to match up to me. But the problem is that people are starting to tease me and such at school. For instance they ask "Do you uygs do it, you suck him, he's your slave whore, ew, you're friends with a gay guy" etc. It's been going on a lot lately now that I've entered high school. The other day, when I got off the bus, some guys decided to hassal me and one rammed into my chest with his shoulder. I believe that his actions were the result of me being friends with mybest friend (They were teasing him and me on the bus on the way home before I got off). Now I don't know what to do because I know that this situation is bound to escalate to worse situations. I don't and will NEVER drop my homosexual friends. EVER. But the thing is that I'm always hassaled by homophobic people at school and I just don't know what to do about them. (link)
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Well hun i absolutely know how you feel!!! I'm 16/f and yes I have a girlfriend. Well first of all let me tell you that what you're experiencing isn't right because I respect your courage and determination. As a bisexual, I put up with crap everyday too. I dont just want to say that you get used to it, but you kind of do. If you don't let it bother you, then eventually they'll stop. They won't find it fun anymore to tease you or your friend. Just try to stay away from them for now. And if they give you crap, just ignore it. I know that doesn't sound very helpful but it will work!! Good luck and if u need any more help with this or gf's or anything feel free to im me...at rikatree2375..i'd luv to help ya some more!
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okay, where to start. well i was going out with this boy named Alex. and i liked him alot and everything but he liked me like a thousand times more. well like every night this boy Lane would call me tryin to get with me, but i never thought anything of it. well about two months passed and me and Alex had already broken up. Then Lane was going out with my friend Addair who can't keep a boyfriend at all. Well she was grounded and me and Lane and all my other friends were all friends so we were goin out together and Lane started liking me that night again. me and Lane have kind of like always had a thing for eachother. well the next Addair brok up with Lane cause like i said, she doesn't like keeping a boyfriend. then Lane asked me out. so i said yes. i have never had a boyfriend like Lane before. it was so much fun with him, like we experienced so many new things together. we went out for 3 1/2 months and then at this fair thing we have in my town, his friends from his school were there [we go to different schools] and he started acting like a COMPLETE JERK. like it was so weird, he was never that bad. so then i couldnt take it and i broke up with him. then i found out he acted like that so i would break up with him. that hurt. i was sitting there crying so hard and all he could say to me was stop shaking. so then we went a caouple days without talking, and then i called him. i was like, Lane, what happened? and he basically told me he was just tired of having a girlfriend and he wanted to be single. i never wanted to break up with him. so then the first weekend after we broke up we were hanging out at the mall with all our friends and he was acting like we were like, "together" you know. and it made me so mad. but i couldnt help but like it cause i like him. then the next day me him, my best friend Taylor, and her boyfriend which is Lane's bestfriend, Kyle all went to the movies. well Lane likes kind of "simple" girls in a way. and well, i dress kind of not simple sometimes. i like acessories and style and stuff. well at the movies that night he decided that he wasnt gonna hang out with us because of what i was wearing. i mean how frickin low is that. i was so mad. cause then i was stuck with Taylor and her boyfriend and oh my gosh that was like hell. well then i had people over at my house the next monday and he was one of them. we flirted like crazy and like, i can tell there's chemistry there. but i just don't know how much. well then last night we went to the movies again, me Taylor, Kyle, and Lane. well me and Lane used to always go to the movies together when we went out, alot of stuff happened at the movies. so it was hard. cause you don't know how bad i just wanted to start making out with him. well then he started trying to kiss me and he held my hand and i resisted for a while but uhhh i just cant resist that boy. so then we were like all together and it was just so confusing and he was like i still like you and i shouldn't have ever broken up with you. my friend Taylor doesn't think i should go back out with him anytime soon. my friend Caela thinks i deff. should. my friend Addair is in the middle. so i am so completely confused. i dont know what he wants, i dont know what i want, i dont know what my friends want. so can you help, please? sorry its so long, lol.
thankss
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Wow this sounds complicated lol. Well this guy sounds like a pretty nice guy, but think back on how he acted when he was being a jerk at the fair. I know that hurt you, but only you yourself know to what extent you got hurt. So think back on that for a second. I don't want to point out all the negative times y'all have had but if he hurt you, you need to take a step back. If I were you, I would sit him down and ask why one minute, he turned all shallow on you and then the next he wants you back. Be honest and I'm sure he'll respect that. It doesn't hurt to ask him and then atleast you'll get to understand him a little more and why he did what he did. And another piece of advice. I know you want the input of your close friends, but don't go on what they say. In a way, I'm glad they disagree because this is your choice. You need to really ask yourself if you can let go of the past when he didnt treat you right and give him another shot. This is really your call. I don't feel like I'm helping but that's all I can really do. Just talk to him. It can't hurt. And take it one step at a time! Hope that helped somewhat.
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I don't know what category to put this in because it's pretty much everything lol. Okay, so here it goes... school just started and I'm already so stressed out! I get like 4 hours of homework every night and I have practice so I only have like 2 hours to do it. And for some reason I'm becoming really scatterbrained lately. Like today, I forgot the history homework I spent at least an hour on, I lost my spanish notebook, and I forgot like 3 other things at home that I needed. Also, my self-confidence is at an all-time low. I constantly think everybody else is better than me, and at parties and stuff I'm all quiet and unnoticed. Last year I wasn't like that at all and now I'm just feeling so low all the time. I don't know what to do; it just feels like my life is so overwhelming right now and it's like I'm not grateful for all the good things I have and the things that used to make me happy are just not anymore. And I really don't wanna feel this way because I'm missing out on the best years of my life, or so everyone says. Any advice on what i should do? Thanks in advance. (link)
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Well I can definitely understand where you're coming from. I know this is going to sound harsh, but the school work is most likely not going to get easier. The way to handle is just set up a type of schedule where it outlines what you're going to work on at what time. I have to do that a lot because I play violin and have to practice around 3-4 hours a day minimum. So I tried a schedule and it worked. Everybody's different but you could try it! And about the sel-confidence issue. This is probably due to the fact that you're stressing over school and probably losing sleep. I know you didnt mention a sleep issue, but everybody who's in school has one lol. So don't let it bother you. The more you think about it, the more paranoid you'll become and it'll make it worse. Just relax and try to enjoy the little things in life that come along. Pick a favorite class during your day and look forward to it!!! I hope at least something out of all of this helps you. Just take one day at a time, step by step!
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Today I randomly started going through my elementary school memories and I thought about how there was never anything to worry about and how it was really peaceful and joyful. The memories I have are so detailed that I just started crying. I miss not ever worrying about anything and not ever having a reason to be sad. I'm only 16 and I already long to be young again. What do I do? (link)
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I think we all have had our days when we look back and see how bright and wonderful our early childhood was. The fact of life though is that we all mature and become more aware of what actually goes on in society. But think of all the amazing benefits of maturity. You're sixteen so soon you'll have your license and maybe a car. This means more independence than when you were just a kid. Life goes on but if you focus on the past, you'll miss out on the future. Leave the past and venture forth. Live life to its fullest because you only get this chance once!
Hope I helped!
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I'm a 15 year old girl and I've been "going out" with this guy for about a month. Problem is, I don't him anymore. I like someone else, and I think he may like me, but I'm not sure. What's the best way to dump a guy without being rude? (link)
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Well, i guess the best way is to be honest. The guy deserves it. Just tell him you'll always be friends but that you think you've found somebody else. It's going to hurt him but don't you think it'd be worse if he found you cheating on him? So just let him know and take things slow. You're young so you don't have to rush things. Take life as it comes.
4Him, Disciple
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Volleyball is the one sport I love with a passion. I connect with it so well and I've played it for 5 years. This year, alot of conflicts came up that make me miss many practices, games, and tournaments. So, I talked to my coach about becoming team manager and helping out in practices and keeping score for the team during some games. Things like that. But, last year I sat out at every game because I was a freshman, and this year would be my time to play in games. It's hard for me, but I'm deciding to go with the team manager or actually try out and have the concequence of my coach really getting mad at me for missing so many pracitces... which one sounds better? (link)
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This is just my opinion, but i think you should go with the team manager position. It sounds like you really want to play, but you need to do what's right for your team. It would also show your coach that you're dedicated to the team instead of thinking of just yourself. It's more mature and besides you'll have a couple more years to actually play. I hope that helped some. Good luck either way!!!
4Him, Disciple
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14 female
ok so my friend and i arent getting along right now and i want to give her some space so at lunch im thinking about just eating with another one of my friends let her calm down you kno, but i really like this guy who eats lunch with me and my friend every day and im afraid if i eat w/ the friend im not mad at he wont eat with me anymore and i enjoy talking to him. should i just stay at my table w/ the friend im mad at or sit with my other friend and hope for the best please help im really confused and dont want this guy to think i dont like him! (link)
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I really think you should give your friend some space. You cant forfeit your friendship for some guy. I guess it all comes down to who's more important to you. You could even just talk to the guy about why you're sitting somewhere else. I'm sure he'll understand. But i doubt you would be happy with some guy if you knew your friend was kinda angry. That's my opinion but whatever you do, good luck!!!
4Him, Disciple
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ALLRIGHTY... The Great E.
Onn with the advice no..?
There is say, two people, One which I will call, Lonely Man, and the other I shall Call, Lonely Woman. Creative No?
Anyways.. Lonely woman recently( about two months ago) broke up with her boyfriend, who simply put it, dumped her. Dumped her, because of her incessant whining, and sttention seeking. I understand that she had some family problems, and has.. tried to.. TRY to commit a FEEBLE attempt at suicide. So i can understand if she would have problems. But the fact is that she always, cries for no reason, goes to the conselours office. Its been going on for 3 years now, and not only does she not tell us( her friends) what's going on, she is constantly, acting as if.. how shall one say it..? Doing things that, scream that she's seeking attention.
..Now where was I.. ANYways.. They broke up. The end. But now.. another.. guy.. has come into the scene, Lonely Man. Now lonely man.. has many.. friends.. that are girls, he's .. nice. .in away.. i guess. and he is .. |friendly|. But anyways.. the point is that, she has admitted to liking Lonely Man. And.. Lonely Woman.. has gone far enough to ask another friend.. to .. help them.. in terms.. |hook| up.
Me and my other friends, all observed this.. and were a bit stunned you see. As her last boyfriend broke up with her.. when her lost his patience with his constant crying, and the fact that she can't get over ANOTHER guy. Who she thinks is her true love. AND ITS WAY TO EARLY IN LIFE TO BE THINKING ABOUT THIS TRUE LOVE CRAP~!!
Other way.. What is your.. Opinion on this.. I would've told you earlier.. but i wasn't sure... if you knew the people.. XD (link)
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Well Sapy, i'm not exactly sure of who you're talking about, but i have an idea. If it is who i think it is, then i believe she lies about some aspects of her life and really needs the attention. It ticks me off too sometimes because i feel like she uses us to pity her. But about her love life and all. I agree that it's early to really think you've found "the one". I mean, we're freshman!!! Dating is okay but i think it should only go so far. And if she can't get over this guy, why is she bothering with "lonely man" then??? I dont think she's ready for that. She's going through too much crap and she'd just end up hurting herself and this guy too. I think she needs to take care of her problems before she involves this guy. I think all of her attempts at stuff were for attention. I'm pretty sure she's lied to me about certain things too. But that's my opinion. I think she should wait and solve things out for herself. Hope i helped ya gurl!!!
4Him, THE MIGHTY E!!!
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If you were asked to sign a prenup, would you sill want to get married to that person? I always thought that if you go into marriage with the thought of divorce then it will happen. Signing a prenup is kind of like saying "hey, if this doesn't go well then we can just get a divorce and all my money will still be okay." (link)
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Personally, i wouldn't marry that person. If you have to go to such lengths as to get that kind of agreement and you arent already married, that's like expecting it to happen!!! And not all marriages should end in divorce. You should marry somebody you absolutely love and can never imagine getting a divorce. It's not being unrealistic at all. My parents have been happily married for 22 years. So not everybody divorces. Really try to decide if you love this person. But if you don't, reconsider. I hope i helped some. Good luck!!!
4Him, Disciple
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welll i have an all state audition coming up...
and i'm NERVOUS AND FREAKING OUT AND STRESSED AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
anyways, i have barely practiced for it, maybe like 20 hours in all, which is not enough. last year i pracitced maybe 100 and i made it. but this yaer i wlil probably not.
so i was wondering if you have any tips or suggestions on how to prepare for thsi event. the audtiions are next saturday, the 29th.'
ps... i don't want to hear 'don't stress... you're too negative =)))))"
thanks! (link)
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Hey Samuel. Well, since i'm going through the exact same thing on the 29th, i'll tell you what i'm doing. I'M NOT WORRYING ABOUT IT!!! But since you didn't want to hear that, then how about this. You have two weeks. Say you do a couple hours a day of intense practice. That's better than like pulling 5 hours a day. Just concentrate and get it done. Set goals for every day on what you want to achieve. But the more you worry about it, the worse you're going to do. Remember, the goal is the audition, that's all. You need to get physically prepared (as in don't hurt your hands, okay???) and mentally prepared (as in getting ready for how you'll feel at the actual audition.) For example, i know i get nervous and i feel like i'm about to forget the music. That means i have to prepare every single note of that music, have it memorized, perfect it, then be able to get up each morning, play it through and have it perfect. That's like almost impossible but for me personally to feel comfortable at auditions like that, i need that reassurance. So find what works for you in practicing and you can make this. Remember our deal??? You make it then i will!!! Hope i helped ya!!!
4Him, Disciple
P.S. What about all-region?!?! Just kidding!!!
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does he like me?
i like this kid who is in my group of friends that ij ust started really talking to at the end of the summer. he is soo good-looking with a nice body and everything and a ton of the girls like him. most of them barely talk to him and just like him because of his appearance but other do talk to him too and know he's a nice guy.
i really really really like him. my best friend (who's a guy) is good friends with him and he is going to ask him who he likes..but i want to know what you guys think.
-in gym class we had to do this thing where you had to sit on the lap of the person behind you..he was going to have to sit ona guy so he asked me to move behind him. hahaha.
-he comes over to talk to me a lot in gym
-he's walked to study with me both times that i've gone the same way as him (i usually go a different way and don't see him)
-in that same activity in gym i had to wrap my arms around his waist so i wouldnt fall (alright, alright..cause i wanted to) and he told my best friend about it later.
-in study i was sharing a seat with my friend who sits next to him so i was between them so i was sitting pretty close to him and i was trying to read his french (i take spanish) and he was laughing and turning red when i talked to him.
-when my friends and i went out to lunch he asked "is maggie..or anyone else coming?" (my name is maggie)
-when my best friend was talking about bio class he started talking about how he did bio homework with me in study. it was completely random..had nothing to do with what my friend was talking about except it had to do with biology..and the story had no point whatsoever.
-he smiles and says hi to me whenever he sees me in the hall
-after study he always walks out with me and walks with my until we have to go different ways.
that's all i can think of right now. please tell me what you think. i think he might but i don't know if he is just being friendly cause we haven't really talked a lot before. (link)
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Well girl, i think he likes ya. Of course you mentioned all the great stuff that you remember about him so that kind of gives the impression he does. But if a guy acts like that and blushes and talkes about you all the time, well then he's interested. Guys dont do that to just every single girl they meet. Well, that's my opinion. Good luck gurl!!!
4Him, Disciple
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This is probably a dumb question but so be it.
This evening, my left wrist is swollen on the outside, very painful to the touch, and slightly painful from movement. I don't remember falling on it, hitting it, or anything that might cause it to act this way, I honestly don't.
Has anybody ever had this happen to them/have half a clue as to what it might be? Also, is there anything I can do to reduce the pain and swelling? (Ice doesn't seem to be doing the trick) (link)
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I'm not really sure but this might help. It could be tendonitis or carpal tunnel. You get it when you do like a lot of repetive things with your hand/wrist. It'll hurt a ton to do anything. Try tylenol, ice it some more, then put like a heating thingie on it (sorry, can't remember what they're called). It'll loosen up the muscle and relieve tension. If that doesnt help, try a doctor or physical therapist. Hope i helped somewhat!!!
4Him, Disciple (hope it gets better :) )
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im 14/f. almost 15 what age do you think its appropriate to lose your virginity? (link)
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Honestly i think that you should lose your virginity after marriage. You have a less chance of getting a disease and you would have saved yourself for your husband. It's also what God orders us to do. This probably isn't what you want to hear, but i think that waiting is the "appropriate time to lose your virginity".
4Him, Disciple
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ok everyday lately i have been getting really bad headaches and like when i move my head i get a little dizzy.tylenol and advill and stuff dont work. what should i do? is their anything wrong with me? (link)
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Don't worry, i get that a ton too. I have a thing called hypoglycemia. It's where your blood sugar gets really low (due to if you haven't eaten in a couple of hours) and you can get headaches, bad vision, etc. I'm not sure if you have that exactly, but it's nothing serious. They might just be migraines that you need to go to the doctor and get a prescription for. But don't worry because most likely it's nothing serious. It could also just be from lack of sleep. Well, i hope i helped ya!!!
4Him, Disciple
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Hey advicenators! =P
What do you think should be the curfew for a 15 year old girl? I'm asking this because I'm going to the movies with my guy friend and my parents want me home at 10pm. I'm a very trustworthy person and I WON'T have sex with him, that's for sure. He's only a friend. I'm kinda pissed about this because I want to stay out later, but they're strict & say only 10pm. I know I'm lucky because some kids can't even go out with friends yet. But, what do you guys think? Thanks. (link)
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I think 10 is a pretty good time. Maybe 11 but for now, be thankful you can go at all. They might make it later if you prove over time that you can be trusted. But personally, 10 isn't all that bad!!!
4Him, Disciple
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ok i am 5'4" and i weigh 106.5 lbs. am i overweight? is it irrational to think that i am fat???people tell me i worry too much i dont c y though.please help!
also latley i have been feeling guilty after i eat. help with that too plz. (link)
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Personally, i don't think that's overweight at all. It sounds a lot better than alot of people i know who are the same height. So don't worry. And don't feel guilty to eat. You need food to keep going but don't overstuff yourself, okay? The more you worry about it the more it'll make your life miserable. So be happy with yourself and no more worrying!!! Hope i helped ya!!!
4Him, Disciple
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My bff Ashlyn, like this guy Tanner. Secretley I like him too but I haven't told her that yet. Well Tanner is been flirting with me ALOT latley and invited me to the movies. I told him, that I like him, but I don't want to hurt Ashlyn's feelings, he said he respected my descion since I've known Ashlyn longer and that he'd wait for me, cause he really likes me. I don't know what to do. I don't know how Ashlyn will react if I tell her I like him and he likes me too. What should I do. I really like him, but I love her too, shes my best friend. xox i`ll rate. (link)
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First of all, you'll never know how she will respond unless you tell her. I understand why you wouldn't want to do that to her, but if you care about her that much as a friend, don't you think you should be honest with her? She might get upset and angry at you, but it's better than keeping this a secret. You could even have Tanner talk to her about it. That might seem a little harsh but just be honest with the girl. You also need to realize that you can't put your life on hold so your friend doesn't get upset. It's going to happen in life whether on purpose or accident. Just do your best to make it easy on her and i'm sure she'll come around. Hope that made sense and i wish ya good luck with it!!!
4Him, Disciple
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my parents and I ALWAYS fight. Right when I turned 13 they started becoming so overprotective. They track my e-mails, text messages, and phone calls. They won't let me hang out with my friends either. I got invited to Washington with my BFF for Fall Break and of course they said No. When I asked why they started yelling at me and grounded me for " being a brat. " I can't take it anymore. I'm stuck in my room everynight for the dumbest reasons like, I got an 83% on a math test (apparently a B isnt good enough ). I CANT TAKE IT. pleasee help, I'd really like it.
PS: I've never been a bad kid. I'm responsible, great in school, I don't get into trouble or do drugs or anything. SO why did they become so overprotective ?
thnks bunches. (link)
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Usually parents are overprotective because something happened when they were at your age. Like they're probably paranoid that you're doing drugs, or whatever they tell you. They're most likely scared that you'll make the same mistakes they did and that's understandable. It just means they really care and love you. But as for them grounding and fighting you all the time. They're probably really stressed and so they take it out on you. So dont personally blame yourself because sometimes parents take their frustration out on their kids. I go through that alot too so i should know. Just try to be patient with them and if they keep it up, dont let it bother you. Stay calm and make sure that you dont give them a good reason to keep doing what they have been (like tracking your calls and such). Well, hope i helped ya and good luck!!!
4Him, Disciple
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James told me he likes me. but to me, he seems like more of the best friend type. sometimes i find myself thinking i REALLY like him and sometimes i feel like i just want him to leave me alone. Like when i know he likes me, i dont really care about it, its just like whatever. but then when he doesnt call me or acts like he doesnt like me, i get really worried and start to think i like him. whats going on? i`m so confused with my feelings right now. please help me figure out what it sounds like i`m feeling (link)
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I can't tell you what you're going through exactly, but i'll sure give you my opinion. I think you're scared of the whole relationship thing honestly. You're afraid of hooking up with this guy when you KNOW for a fact he's interested in ya. You also said you dont know what you're feeling. That's probably because you're trying to decide if you actually like this guy or not. If he seems like a friend type, then keep it at that level. Tell him nicely that you're not interested in that way. I'm sure he'll understand. But if you dont know for sure, dont lead the guy on because that'll end up with both of y'all being hurt. So i think you're basically afraid of what could happen. Stop stressing girl because you'll be fine!!! Maybe even talk to him about what you're feeling. Being honest never hurt. Well, i hoped some of that made sense. Good luck!!!
4Him, Disciple
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I used to have many best friends. When 7th grade started some of them became part of the popular crowd, a few went totally goth on me and cut them selves constantly and some just ditched me. I have like one or two friends now that still hang out with me. I have lots of other people hang out with me, but now I'm realizing how they truly feel about me by all the rumors they are starting. I just don't know what to do anymore, I'm so alone. Please help. (link)
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I totally know how you feel. I know it sucks to lose your friends, but be thankful for the ones you still have. People change over time and so will you. You'll meet new friends, and lose old ones. It's just how it goes. But right now, focus on the good friends you have and try to become closer with them. I think that'll help you when you feel lonely. And try to put yourself out there to meet new people. There's always people around you who feel the same way and just need somebody to talk to. You could help them and yourself if you open up. It can't hurt :) Just know that you're never alone even if you have ONE good friend. That's all that matters. I hope my advice helped. And if you need somebody, i'm always here for ya. My sn is rikatree2375 also if you want to talk. Good luck!!!
4Him, Disciple
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