about

I'm a mother of 2 boys who are 13 months apart. Talk about a handful. I'm a wife to the best husband I could have ever dreamed of.
I'm one of the very blessed.


I have Bipolar 1 Disorder. I hate taking all these medications and always going to doctors appointments, but life is too short to let mental illness get the better of me.


Often times life is a challenge, and nobody knows that better than me. I wake up wondering if this is going to be a day my illness overpowers my meds, and either sends me flying like a bat out of hell, or leaves me laying on the couch like a wet dish rag.


Thank all that is good in the world that I have an excellent support system at home.
I'm one of the lucky ones.


I'm honest, and that can either be a perk or s flaw. Depends on how you choose to look at it.
I like to see it as a perk, because it's better to hear the truth than to be told candy coated bullshit.






advice

I know I'm not giving much information here, but it's been awhile since I've seen this. I don't know the artist or the song, but I remember how in the music video, she puts her hands to each side of her face and then above and below and keeps switching them? For some reason I think it's Madonna, but I'm not sure. So, my question is, most importantly, who is this and if you know, what song is it? Thanks in advance. :)

Sounds like Madonna's "Vogue" video.

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how could i get wavy hair like this
http://i81.photobucket.com/albums/j212/aprettygurl/m_4460b1b0c9fdb36af9a11155a5de179e.jpg

Do you know what a crimping iron is? It's sort of like a straightening iron, accept has ridges to make your hair look like a crinkle cut french fry. You just pinch it closed on a section of hair at a time.

Anyhow, you can get irons like that with wave attachments that make your hair just like that. Or, you can get those specific irons.
The iron part kind of looks like so, if it makes sense:
~~~
~~~

I don't know what they're called to find a picture for you, so I hope you understand what I'm talking about... :-)

ygs-30/f

***EDIT***

Wait! Found one...

http://www.folica.com/Solano_Quattrou_d1085.html

The plates with the big waves? That's what your looking for...

-ygs

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So, my boyfriend has a best friend named Tessa. Tessa and I have been best friends for awhile, and me, my boyfriend, and her have the same circle of friends. We have been friends long before I started dating my boyfriend. Anyway, Tessa is always inviting my boyfriend to go places with her. To her house, to her godfathers lake house, ect. I know they are friends and all, but this makes me very uncomfortable. I know Tessa has liked my boyfriend in the past, and she says she doesn't like him now, but still. I know if she had a boyfriend that I was good friends with I wouldn't invite him over my house alone, so I don't understand why she would do that to me? So basically, what should I do? I know my boyfriend hates being put in the middle because I tell him he can't hang out with her alone. But should I let him even though it bugs me? This has caused a huge fight between me and Tessa, and I can't ever imagine being friends with her again. Ugh, what do I do!

It's not right to come between a guy and his friends, whether those friends are male or female. I know you don't want to hear this, but that is selfish to put him in the position to choose.

If you trust HIM, what she may or may not do shouldn't matter. If you trust HIM, he would not fall for any hypothetical advances made by her.

This has already seemingly destroyed the relationship with your best friend. She was your best friend. Why don't you trust her? Is this really, seriously worth losing your best friend over?

So she invites him to hang out here and there. She is also his best friend. Is that not what friends do?

If it makes you so uncomfortable, rather than getting all huffy and trying to disallow him to hang out with his best friend, why not try to think up something you can ALL do together?

ygs-30/f

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So this is kinda gross but im trying to be serious..... i have one hard nipple and it wont go down and its really stiff and hard and it hurts. its only on the left side not the right. i didnt do anything to it but i noticed it when i had just a bra on and my hand brushed it and it hurt... i dont really know whats wrong its been like 5 mins and it wont go away. SOMEONE HELP MEEEEEE!

I don't know your age, but I assume you are a teen.
That being assumed, this is natural. Your breasts are growing and maturing, causing this sort of thing to happen, as well as breast tenderness.

As always, if you feel this is something serious, you need to talk to your doctor.

ygs-30/f

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female 16.

hey,well i was cursed with a no cure disease psoriasis :/, is there anyone out there that can please help me and tell me what can help [as in like natural things] im taking thes tumeric capsules because they like suposably work. but they dont really help :[. i hate prescriptions for some reason. maybe because ive been prescribes soooo many things over the years, so i wanna try something like organic you know. well pleaseee help me. its controlling my life. i dont even want to go out anymore because everyone notices it. please i will so greatly appreciate it if you tell me some type of thing that can at least cure it for a while you know, thanks so much

Ok, I don't know if this is what you're wanting, but I found this:

http://www.psoriasis.org/treatment/

I hope you can find something helpful at this site.

ygs-30/f

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I am from Nigeria, and am 25years old.i have been seeing this guy for 4 years now but the problem is she does not want us to get married simply because she does not like my parents religion.but i attend the same church wit my boyfriend so i dont see a problem with that.i am really confused because my boyfriend is really close to his mum.what do i do now?

Well, you certainly can't help it that your parent's choose to believe different beliefs.

Have you, personally, sat down with his mother to talk about this? Maybe invite her out to lunch or even to a park. Someplace quiet where the two of you can sit down and have a good talk.

Explain to her that, though your parents' religion differs from hers, yours DOES NOT. Remind her that, though her son would be marrying into your family, he IS NOT marrying your family. He's marrying YOU.

Give her the respect of listening to her point of view, just as you want her to give you that same respect. Talking and listening to each other makes it a lot easier to come to a compromise.

Good luck to you!

ygs-30/f

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I have been offered a position and accepted it out of state and need to start tomorrow. the problem is 1 day after i accpeted the position my collegue calls and tells me of a position that is a sure thing for me when i contact the owner of the business. it would be substantially more money and a better opportunity than the 1st offer. i contacted the owner and he was in process of a business deal and would call me back that was friday eve at 6:pm i waited and no call, i should leave tomorrow for the other position in oregon. do i delay the 1st offer,(who has accomodations set for me until the 15th) do i go and if the other offer comes up just leave the 1st one?

The question is, which job do you really want? If you want the first offer, by all means, go. If you want the second offer, wait out the delay a while on the first and see if you can get the second job.

Also, since the owner hasn't contacted you for the second job, I don't see how it would hurt to place another call to him. First off, the guy is probably a busy fellow, and the call may have slipped his mind. Second off, calling again shows your desire to hold that position.

Either way, decide which job you will be happiest doing, then move from there.

Best of luck to you!

ygs-30/f

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i didnt call up or show up at work today..i work at mcdonalds and have been there for 9 months and i have ALWAYS shown up to work, except just this once.
what happened was that i got into a really big fight with a family member and so i just went out the door and stayed at a friends house because i just couldnt handle it. and i couldnt get to work today so i just didnt show up ..
i dont know what to say to them when i work in 4 days again! i feel really bad about it because i let the nicest manager down. please help, should i tell then what happened or would they not believe me?
thanks

I fully agree with YG. You need to pick up the phone and call RIGHT NOW and start explaining what's going on, if you want to keep your job.

No call, no show is BAD. If the situation ever arises again, you should at least do the right thing by calling and notifying them.

Others suggested you're being paranoid, not to worry, and even say nothing.
You are not being paranoid, you should worry, and you should explain to your manager why you didn't show, and apologize up and down.

Would they believe you? Why on earth wouldn't they? The people you work for are people just like you are, with lives outside of McDonald's. They know what it's like to have personal issues arise. They, too, put their pants on the same as you.

You can talk to your manager and explain privately without announcing it to every other person in the building.

But you better get in touch with them right now. I'm sure they have a stack of applications, and may possibly be looking through them for a new employee to fill your position.

What else do you expect them to do? No call, no show? For all they know, you'll never be back. You certainly haven't told them any different.

And, like YG said, someone had to give up their day off to cover your shift. Do the right thing and offer to cover one of theirs in return.

ygs-30/f

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so i met this guy..he had to have been the cutest ever. well it all started one night when he came over with some of his friends .. me and him hit it off right then and there an we were having so much fun ..as summer went on we'd spend like every week or so together. yeah i mean we didnt spend every waking moment together but the times we were together were amazing. plus hes a busy kid with everything he has coming to him for the future. well now summers coming to an end. practically ended already.. and hes in college and im a junior dont worry hes only 18. but anyways, hes told me he likes me a lot and hopes that we can spend time together more. well hes the type of guy whose always busy..his dads opening up some place for him to run, part time college and running this business. he says he wont have the same amount of time for me, but hes really going to try.. well now me and him barely talk. i don't really wanna talk to him but i think i like him more than i thought. and everyone tells me hes so into me. he notices every little thing about me. its cute in all .. but he told me to make it in life is either the smarter decision or heart decision. and guys never go with there heart ..so i feel like im wasting my time waiting on him.

You can't blame the guy for wanting to make something of his life. It seems the older we get, the busier our lives become. That is just how life goes.

You got to try to see it this way: What if there is some great future for you and him. Isn't it nice to know that he is responsible and making a stable life?

Here's a couple of options for you:

1- Have patience. The guy is going to school AND running a business. To expect more time than he can give is, honestly, on the selfish side. Enjoy every minute of the time he CAN devote to you.

2- Ask him flat out if you're wasting your time. Part of a having a healthy relationship is talking about the things that nag your mind.


ygs-30/f

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I have had two goldfish for five months now... they seem to be doing just fine. One of them, however, developed what looked like a big white spot on his head (it was almost as big as his head). Today I noticed that it turned completely red and looks like a big spot of blood.

I am really concerned that he might end up dying from this..any information on what this might be, and how to possibly treat it?

Does it have a fuzzy appearance? If so, could be fungus. If it is fungus, you can go to the pet store and get treatment for it.

Be sure to add stress coat to your tank water when you add or change water, or intruduce new fish to the aquarium. Stress coat helps them rebuild and keep a healthy slime coat on their body.

Fungus can be caused from lack of slime coat on the fish, as well as sharp objects in the tank that can injure the fish.

Ick is white spots on the body that look like salt. Also treatable, but my guess is that Ick may not likely be the problem.

What you can do is catch your fish in a plastic bag filled with water from the aquarium, and take it into the pet store for advice. The person who works in the fish department should know what it is and how to treat it.

If it ends up being Ick, parasite, or any other sickness that the fish could have caught while in a community aquarium at the pet store, DO NOT buy more fish from there.

I would be willing to bet that since you have had the fish for five months, it likely isn't something it "caught" from other fish. Unless, of course, you've introduced new fish to your aquarium since then.

Don't forget to use stress coat! Be sure to get a PH kit if you don't have one. Get a container of sea salt from the pet store. There should be instructions on the container on how much salt to add to a fresh water aquarium. Though goldfish are fresh water fish, there is still salt in fresh water. Salt is an awesome healing aid!

When I had fresh water fish, I had a 55 gallon aquarium, and if I remember right, I had to add four tablespoons of salt to the water, per instructions on the box. (X amount of salt per X amount of gallons.)

Be sure the air pump and filter system are always working properly. Be sure to keep clean filters. Lack of air and dirty filters make the water unhealthy, which can lead to unhealthy fish.

Though I loved keeping goldfish, they are very dirty fish. They eat like pigs, and if the water isn't filtered right, they pollute the aquarium quickly.

Good luck to you!

ygs-30/f


P.S.
When adding decorative items, including rock bed, to the aquarium, be sure to wash it well first.

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Hi,

I can't believe I have this issue but here it is. When I was 16 I had an affair with a teacher at my high school it went on for 2 years and he was my first love. Anyway we saw each other sporadically until I graduated from college. Fast forward I went to medical school and during my residency I met this incredible guy and after 8 months we moved in together. He never spoke much of his dad, his mother and father never married so not only do they have different last names he only saw his father during the summer. Anyway, he invited me to his mother's for 4th of July and suggested we stop by his dad's we did and I couldn't believe it, it was surreal. Anyway Doug and I acted like we hardly knew each other and Garret and I left shortly thereafter, now we're back home and I don't know what to do, Doug has called me twice saying we should talk but what am I going to do. Garret is all I have ever dreamed of but how do you tell the man you want to marry you lost your virginity to his father, or if I don't tell him, things like this have a habit of coming out and I don't want to marry him and ten years later he finds out and feels betrayed. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Be honest.

Facing the consequences of being caught up in a lie, or cover-up, are far worse than facing the truth in the beginning.

As for the father calling you- Tell him there's nothing to talk about, stop calling me. Then hang up on him.
The only talking that needs to be done is between you and the man you love enough to want to call husband.

ygs-30/f

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So there's a guy i have been having sex with for about a month now. we're just friends with benefits. It started out that he would call me every night and we would talk about each others days blah blah blah. that was before we started having sex. anyways, now we don't talk at all. yeah i know that's how friends with benefits are "supposed" to be. and i'm fine with that. tonight i went to his house. we had sex big surprise. anyways, we barely said 2 sentences after. i tried to talk to him about football cause he plays and i got like short answers. the awkward conversation (if you would call it that) lasted like 10 minutes and he was like ok im going to sleep. i'm frickin going out of my way to sneak out of my house just to please him and he can't even have a conversation with me. am i in the wrong here? and no i don't like him in that way, i would just like a little respect.

A guy like that will never appreciate you or give you the respect you deserve.

Best thing you can do:
Tell him NO, and move on with your life.
Why go out of your way for someone who treats you like shit? Come on. You're better than all that.


ygs-30/f

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I'm a 18 year old Female.
I think i may be pregnant, and i really do not want to raise/give birth to a child. There is no abortion clinics around the area i live in, and i have no ways of getting to a close one(the closest one is 4 hours away). Me and my boyfriend are really not expecting a child, we both how alot of our life ahead of us. So getting to my question, since theres no way i can get to an abortion clinic, are there other ways that i can "abort the child", or "cause a miscarriage"? I'm too scared to confront my parents about this, and don't really know if it's possible i can make an appointment with my family doctor without my parents finding out.
Any answers are appreciated, and i know, i shouldn't be hving sex, because i know this is a consiquence of it, and i also am agaisnt abortion myself, but there is no way i can go on with this pregnancy,(if i am infact pregant) i know for sure i will not be able to raise it, and i would not be able to give it up for adoption.
Thanks.

I fully agree with anyone who said you should go to your mother. I know you're scared, but as was said before, making such a big decision as this is something you shouldn't make while frightened and panicked. This is a decision you shouldn't make alone.
I'm sure your mom is a trusted, mature, responsible adult who will help you make the best choice for your life.
Because, let's face it, this is something that no matter what choice you make, it's going to have a HUGE impact on your life. You certainly don't want to make a choice in haste only to regret it later.

Though your mom may not be happy about the pregnancy, she will respect the fact that you're responsible enough to want to sit down with her and get her help in making the best choice. She will appreciate the fact that you came to her for help when you found yourself in trouble.

Being a mother, no matter what trouble my kids find themselves in, I want them to come to me if they need my help. I'm a mother, that's my job, and I do it willingly and lovingly.

If that test comes back positive, go to your mom. If you find yourself unable to face her with it, do what my friend did when she found herself 17 and pregnant- write her a note. She'll come to you to talk about it, I promise.

ygs-30/f

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No, maybe fat isn't the BEST word. Obese is more like it. I'm 19 years old and I probably weigh close to 340 pounds. I have been obese for about 10 years now? No maybe less than that. It has to be less than that. Anyway, I'm getting off track.

I have always thought that because I'm so fat that I will never get a guy, however it was just a passing thought that would always return so I never was bothered by it, until the past couple of years. My self-image is so poor that when I walk into a building and I see my reflection though the glass I have to look away from it quickly so I won't see myself. Each time I look at myself I feel this wave of disgust, shame, and fear.

There is not a darn good thing about myself I find like able at all. Even my personality is called into question because while I view myself as a good person, I find that my faults (such as my Irish temper & obesity) will conquer over any good will I have. I feel so scared that I won't ever find a man who will find me attractive in anyway at all that I will never marry and have a family, like I want to.

I feel ashamed of myself so much that I refuse to apply to work at a near by clothing store because they won't hire a fat girl that can't even fit into the clothes they sell. Also, I'm even starting to have trouble finding clothes my size at Wal-mart. My grandfather who is a WW2 vet never says a thing about my weight, and yet in my mind I think that he deserves a better granddaughter who is pretty than I am.

I don't know, my mom constantly tells me I need to lose weight but for me I just can't stop myself from eating. Oh I notice when I'm over eating but I just can't stop until I'm full. My brother who is younger than me is only a few pounds short of being considered a healthy weight for his age group won't stop insulting me by calling me a fat a**, fat w***e, you know all those good names.

My self-esteem is so poor that if I do meet a guy that might hold real interest in my personality that I will never be able to trust him on his word because I will always assume that he's just saying it to be nice and polite.

Anyway what a pity rant I threw out into this wonderful Advicenators section. I just wanted to know if anyone had any tips for an obese woman to lose weight, right now I'm trying to convince my family to eat at home as much as possible since take-out isn't a good idea. Any exercises that would help me lose weight would be great.

I have no idea how to boost my self-esteem since all I want to do is hide in my room. If anyone knows what to do regarding that, it would be helpful...

Sorry for typing so much but I can't sleep and I have class in a few hours so I was hoping this might calm me down and help me to rest.

Thank you to anyone who answers.

I read this and see a girl who can't see her beauty. She cuts herself down, sells herself short, and belittles herself.

STOP THAT.

Like Alin, I know where you're coming from. I won't give you diet advice because; 1. Alin did a fantastic job, and I can't add; 2. I need to go on a diet, myself.

What I can tell you is this- Though you want to have a better exterior image, you really need to work on your self image. You sell yourself short, which is not uncommon. We are our own worst critics, even when it comes to our body image. Heck, some girls don't have a visible ounce of extra fat, yet they'll seem to find it and cut themselves down about it.

We ALL have flaws. ALL of us. Inside and out. We are only human, and perfection is inhuman. The problem comes when we obsess over them rather than working on changing the things we can, and accepting the things we can't.

So you're fat. Rather than fret, stew, and belittle yourself, work on changing it. Not out of fear that you'll never find a guy, but because YOU want to in order to feel better about YOU.

In fact, completely take "guy" out of the equation. Why? My fat self found a wonderful husband who gave me two beautiful children, because he saw me for ME and loves me for ME. So don't fret and stew about "guy," for he is one more reason you're beating yourself up needlessly.

I know that having a poor self image and poor self esteem adds to your temper. How? When you have a negative view on yourself, you start to have a negative view on life. Negativity feeds temper, which is a hungry beast. You gotta try to overlook the negative and focus on the positive.

Come on. I know there's positive about you. You say you view yourself as a good person. You need to realize that being a good person overall outweighs your flaws by a far stretch. Being a good person is a GREAT thing, and trust me when I say we need many more good people in this world.
Take pride in being a good person!

As for your brother, hey, they can be jerks. I have a brother who also called me names and made fun of my weight. But you know what? That's siblings for you. My brother is a great guy, and though he teased me growing up, he always had my back and protected me when I needed it.

Try not to pay mind to the things he says. Pass it off as a brother being a brother, because he's doing it to get under your skin. Siblings like to be pests to one another and rival one another. He'll grow out of it when he becomes mature.

Next subject.

Unconditional love is a wonderful, special thing. You desire to be loved unconditionally, don't you? To fully feel that love is to first love yourself unconditionally. That means you love yourself no matter what you look like, no matter what your flaws may be. Until you can love yourself, how do you expect to accept and trust the unconditional love of another?

I can see that you obviously don't accept and trust that love. That fact sticks out like a sore thumb with the comment you made about your grandfather. He loves you for WHO YOU ARE, yet you feel like you aren't good enough. You feel you don't deserve his love.

You look so far down on yourself that you've made your eyes and heart blind to the fact that he thinks you are BEAUTIFUL.

You seriously need to find self love. You need to love you unconditionally. If you love yourself, self esteem rises. If you realize your beauty, self image rises no matter what your weight may be. When you love you for who you are, you will find yourself happy with life.

I, too, am fat. I, too, have flaws. I love myself no matter what people see on the outside. I'm damn good people, and anyone who wants to judge me by my appearance can just keep walking. People like that just aren't worth my precious time.
I found a great guy, I have a great little family unit, I have great family, and great friends.
I lead a life filled with joy and happiness.

How did I accomplish this?
I stopped worrying about what other people think of me.
I stopped seeing myself as a fatso, and I realized that fat I may be, but I sure am beautiful.
I stopped focusing on the negatives and realized I'm a good person and I try to do good things in this life.
I love myself unconditionally FIRST, and all of the rest of the warm and fuzzy stuff follows suit. Yes, that includes true happiness and inner peace, because that's what matters most. Not your looks. Not your temper. Not that hypothetical guy.

Until you can find that love for yourself, until you can take the blinders off of your heart, until you can stop fretting over your flaws, you will find that you will never think yourself good enough for a single damned thing in this life, even if you look like a super model.

Work on that.

ygs-30/f


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I'm auditoning for a role in Willy Wonka. I want to be Veruca Salt and Violet Beauregarde is my next choice. I need a comedic 30-second monologue. The paper says, "Remember, the characters in this production of Willy Wonka are funny, unique, and larger than life, so choose a monologue that showcases your talents and abilities to assume thies characteristics well. Monologues from children's plays are encouraged." I can pretty much act anything so can anyone give me links, or book names, or like tips?!

This is a teen monologue rather than a children's, but it may be of interest:

http://www.ispgroupinc.com/monologues/free-monologues-funmemories.htm

If not, try the link below to search their site for one you may be looking for:

http://playsandmusicalsnewsletter.pioneerdrama.com/public/blog/105227

Also, you may be interested in reciting one of Shel Silverstein's humorous children's poems.

ygs-30/f

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http://www.lorealparisusa.com/_us/_en/default.aspx#page=top{nav|media:_blank|overlay:_blank|diagnostic|main:brandpage:naturalmatch|userdata//d+d//}


yeah that Naatural Match brand from Loreal's haircolor brands didnt work for me.

Has it worked for any of you?


i really need a good color for brunette. and a light one.

It didn't work for me either.
The only way to get your natural hair color is to grow it out then cut off the dyed hair.

If you are looking for a good brand, this is what I use:
http://www.walgreens.com/store/product.jsp?id=prod9521&CATID=100661&skuid=sku309521&V=G&ec=frgl_744211&ci_src=14110944&ci_sku=sku309521

As for specific colors, you'd do best to look through the different brunette colors and select the one you feel is best for you.

ygs-30/f

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What is Madonna's real, full name?

I figure she wasn't born as "Madonna" and ended up changing it to that because it's catchy or something. So, what is Madonna's birth name and current name anyway?

I know she has an album that is entitled "Madonna" so I'm curious if she had her middle and last name dropped officially and is seriously just named Madonna. Do you know? If not, what do you think?

Thanks!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Madonna_(entertainer)

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So I'm ten and half weeks pregnant, and i feel like my entire body is filled up with air. I know this sounds gross...but all i can do is burp and well u kno. It gives me some relief, but then right after I burp I feel like it fills right back up with gas, which leaves me feeling extremely uncomfortable. The constant nausea is bad enough without this constant gas pain.

Does anyone have any advice on what to do or what can help with both my extreme nausea and gassiness??

I'm desperate!

Well, you're pretty limited on what you can take medicine-wise, so contact your doctor. I'm sure they would like to know that you are having gas pains. You should contact your doctor when you have any sort of abdominal pain during pregnancy, whether it be gas or not.

You can cut down on gassy foods. Avoid carbonated beverages as well.

ygs-30/f

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I have a friend who is really negative...about EVERYTHING. She has even managed to turn the fact that she's studying abroad in EUROPE into a negative situation. Now, she says she doesn't want to go, but she has to because everything has been payed for. There are other traits that make our relationship very difficult and so I am cutting her off as soon as she leaves the country. Until then, how can I subtly remind her or deflect her of negativity. (She is in denial about her not-so-great personality traits, so stating the direct issue will do no good.) For example, she complains on and on about going to Europe, "I don't wanna go. I just can't do it. It's going to be terrible..." I would respond with a nice--so nice it wouldn't bother a hypersensitive person--and subtle hint to change the subject or what-not because of her negativity. I've already told her I'd LOOOOVE to switch places with her!

Rather than saying you'd love to switch places with her, keep reminding her of all the great things she will be able to see and enjoy while in Europe.

Other than that, try not to let her negativity bring you down. If she really wants to be negative and miserable, well... that's her choice.

ygs-30/f

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how do i get over a boyfriend, i truly loved him and i cant seem to let go

It takes time and patience. In the meantime, you just have to try to do things and hang out with people that help you keep your mind off of him.
One day you will realize that if you keep hanging on, you can't move on with life.

ygs-30/f

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