I have a friend who is really negative...about EVERYTHING. She has even managed to turn the fact that she's studying abroad in EUROPE into a negative situation. Now, she says she doesn't want to go, but she has to because everything has been payed for. There are other traits that make our relationship very difficult and so I am cutting her off as soon as she leaves the country. Until then, how can I subtly remind her or deflect her of negativity. (She is in denial about her not-so-great personality traits, so stating the direct issue will do no good.) For example, she complains on and on about going to Europe, "I don't wanna go. I just can't do it. It's going to be terrible..." I would respond with a nice--so nice it wouldn't bother a hypersensitive person--and subtle hint to change the subject or what-not because of her negativity. I've already told her I'd LOOOOVE to switch places with her!
[ Answer this question ] Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category? Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship? x3julsiee answered Monday August 25 2008, 10:18 am: one of the very obvious reasons people act negatively is that they are looking for praise. we all do it, just some to more of an extremem like your friend here. how i think you should remind her is by catching her red-handed. whenever she says something negative, point it out to her as a pessimistic outlook and give her the optimistic side. then try explaining to her that optimism is really a happier path to take and how she should always look for one positive thing in every situation.
writergalx answered Wednesday August 20 2008, 5:36 pm: Hit her. Hard.
Naw. I'm just joking! lol!
Okay, so this girl has a really big problem. what can happen is that some people are negative because they are around people who are negative in general or are negative towards them.
Sit down and talk to this girl. Maybe she's negative because someone is being unfair to her or is critical of her.
Also, she may just have the tendency to be anxious. Tell her that Europe is a great place (it honestly is! I live there) and tell her to cheer up.
I used to be a little bit like this but with a bit of effort, I am now sort of cheerful.
It is bad to be anxious about everything because it could ruin the experience of life.
Don't ignore this girl. It could make her situation worse. It might make her mroe anxious or worried. Try and help her.
Oh, and when she's in Europe, you can ignore her. If you're far away from their, blame you ignoring her on the fact that you are in different time zones! lol! [ writergalx's advice column | Ask writergalx A Question ]
heybbylovee answered Wednesday August 20 2008, 1:04 am: i know how you feel. some people like that are hard to deal with, hard to talk to. they push their negativity onto you.
wow, you got lucky. the easiest and least painful way off making space (you don't want to cut off the friendship COMPLETELY) is when she goes off to europe.
until then, just deal with her negativity. honestly, the only thing that i find that helps is be negative back. if my friend is like, "ugh my life sucks" then i'm like, "yeah mine too" (i love my life, though.) and she's like, "OMG NO are you serious?! you have loving parents, a nice house, a great education..." and i'm like, "so do you." and she stops. try that. don't just be like, "NO you have all this" cause then she'll just be like "no..." [ heybbylovee's advice column | Ask heybbylovee A Question ]
Brandi_S answered Tuesday August 19 2008, 8:19 am: Rather than saying you'd love to switch places with her, keep reminding her of all the great things she will be able to see and enjoy while in Europe.
Other than that, try not to let her negativity bring you down. If she really wants to be negative and miserable, well... that's her choice.
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