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I slept with my boyfriend's father
Hi,
I can't believe I have this issue but here it is. When I was 16 I had an affair with a teacher at my high school it went on for 2 years and he was my first love. Anyway we saw each other sporadically until I graduated from college. Fast forward I went to medical school and during my residency I met this incredible guy and after 8 months we moved in together. He never spoke much of his dad, his mother and father never married so not only do they have different last names he only saw his father during the summer. Anyway, he invited me to his mother's for 4th of July and suggested we stop by his dad's we did and I couldn't believe it, it was surreal. Anyway Doug and I acted like we hardly knew each other and Garret and I left shortly thereafter, now we're back home and I don't know what to do, Doug has called me twice saying we should talk but what am I going to do. Garret is all I have ever dreamed of but how do you tell the man you want to marry you lost your virginity to his father, or if I don't tell him, things like this have a habit of coming out and I don't want to marry him and ten years later he finds out and feels betrayed. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
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I agree that you need to be honest here, but I have to warn you that it will come with a price. However, the price you pay for keeping this secret will be greater to yourself. A sixteen year old girl does not have an affair with a teacher who is her first love...a sixteen year old girl is seduced, exploited and used by an older, experienced pervert who uses his position of teacher and mentor and father figure to manipulate and rob a naive child of her innocence. He is a rapist by statuatory law and should never have gotten away with what he did to you. It may take a lot for you to realize what he stole from you and how wrong it was. It is not unusual for young impressionable kids to have crushes on older people, but it is always wrong and abnormal for the older person to take advantage of that crush. Always. I would seek therapy or counseling of some kind to really talk about this experience and how you can heal and move on and try to talk to your current boyfriend about this. I wish you all the best.
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Be honest.
Facing the consequences of being caught up in a lie, or cover-up, are far worse than facing the truth in the beginning.
As for the father calling you- Tell him there's nothing to talk about, stop calling me. Then hang up on him.
The only talking that needs to be done is between you and the man you love enough to want to call husband.
ygs-30/f
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I agree. You didn't know of Garret when you were with Doug. He might be mad, but I think in the long run, he'll be happy you even told him. Since he doesn't see his father that much any way, I don't see him caring as much as if it would be his dad he grew up with. I hope things go well<3
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WOW! Okay not to be rude but this is like mad fuckedup lmao. OKay anyway, just tell him the truth, he'll be mad at first. Of course he is, how would you feel if you found out he lost his Virginity to your mother? Just explain it was a very very long time ago, and that you are completly over it/him. I don't know your boyfriend so I can't really tell you how the break the news cause if he's an understanding person it should be easy, but if he's not if won't be. So I don't want to tell you what to say and be completly off on what should have been said. GOODLUCKK!
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