BIOGRAPHY:
My name is Carrie, and I just recently turned 25. I've been told that I give excellent advice, so I created this column last year with the intention of helping as many people as possible. Although I do believe I succeeded, I ultimately turned my back on this column when I discovered just how cruel and thankless some people can be. Almost one year later a lot has changed. I've gained a whole new perspective on life and the world around me. I'm much more positive, sympathetic, and willing to listen when people truly need help. So now I've decided to come back and focus my attention on the individuals who are truly in need of advice.
ADVICE:
I'm very genuine when it comes to giving advice. I try to be sympathetic to the person asking the question, but I don't ever sugar coat things. I've learned quickly that many people who ask for help don't really want advice - they want someone who will say what they want to hear. Sorry, but you're not going to get that with me. I'm not here to make friends (if a friendship happens though, yay for me!). You'll always get the truth from me whether you like it or not. While the truth may sting just a bit to begin with, it will absolutely set you free in the long run. If you want to be lied to, please seek advice from somebody else.
CONTACT INFO:
If you like my advice and have additional questions for me, click on the link right underneath this profile that says "Ask Me A Question." If you leave your follow-up question for me in my feedback, I have no way of replying to it. Please use the link. Also, I have an e-mail address where people can get in touch with me if they need to. Feel free to use it.
IMPORTANT:
This may be a hobby in some people's eyes, but I don't like it when people waste my time regardless of whatever it is I'm doing, which in this case, is providing a free service out of the kindness of my heart. So please don't ask me stupid questions, and please make an effort to type sensibly so that I can read and understand your question. I know there are a lot of young people on this site, but that's no excuse to type like you're brain dead. Proper grammar, spelling, and punctuation is highly appreciated with me. The more intelligent your question is, the more intelligent of a response you'll get from me.
ABOUT ME:
Here are some facts about me. I like pop music (especially Madonna). I like horror movies (especially Scream). I like to chat (on MSN). I love to write (poetry, screenplays, short stories). I love shopping (Best Buy). I'm a gamer (I'm better than a guy - Xbox 360 all the way). I have a MySpace (Click "Ask Carrie" for the link). I love my doggies (I have 2). I'm not a bitch (...well, sometimes). I love to laugh (and sometimes I pee a little when I do). It happens.
Website: Ask Carrie
E-mail: soundslikepink@gmail.com
Gender: Female
Location: South Carolina
Occupation: What's that?
Age: 25
Member Since: June 10, 2007
Answers: 195
Last Update: September 13, 2008
Visitors: 17107
Main Categories:
Love Life
General Sex Questions
Friendship
View All
Favorite Columnists
DangerNerd
LagunaBabe
MiCheLLeKaYLa06
hotpotato
Antnorwe
Mackenzie
KellyHappy
mwalnutss
DepthofHeart
AlaskaGrown
lacrosseroxsox
more...
|
| |
|
i feel like im super skinny.well i dont think so but everybody else does. i want to gain like 10 pounds.How do i gain weight so i will look better? (link)
|
Come to my house and we'll fatten you up. Haha. Just kidding! I know the world seems obsessed with losing weight, but for some people, gaining weight can be very difficult too. I used to be very overweight, but I lost all of my extra weight by paying attention to my carbohydrate and calorie intake while increasing the amount of exercise I did.
I don't recommend that you go on a binge and stuff your face full of junk food, but I do recommend you become more aware of nutrition labels and more conscious of the foods you're eating - just like a person who was trying to lose weight would have to. Increase the amount of calories you consume on a daily basis. Eat more starches and fruit if you can.
Foods such as pasta, rice, bread, and potatoes can help you to gain more weight. And fruits such as bananas, apples, oranges, and grapes have a lot of natural sugar in them which turns to fat. If you're still concerned about your weight, talk to a dietitian or a nutritionist who can help you come up with a plan to reach your goal weight. As long as you're healthy, that's all that really matters.
|
|
14/F. okay so i dont no what is wrond with me. i used to be so happy, then i started cutting myself, idk why, and then on everything has just been going downhill from there. nothing ever makes me happy, and my recent mood change has made all me friends mad at me, and i can't tell them what's wrong because i dont even no what's wrong. im always tired and i never want to do anything. i dont laugh anymore and im never happy. depression and bi-polar run in my family, so im beggining to think i have one of those...i dontg no what to do and all i can think about is getting home and cutting and thinking of ways to kill myself. idk what to do...if anyone can help in anyway, that'd be great. so i'd like to no mainly if i have depression or what. thanks. (link)
|
It sounds like you're depressed, but it also sounds like you're giving into it as well. Think of depression as a vacuum that's sucking you in. You can either fight against it and walk away from it or you can walk right into it and let it swallow you whole. Walking away from it might not be easy, but I can guarantee you that it is certainly possible.
Everyone suffers from depression at some point in their lives. For some people it can be situational and it goes away on its own. For other people it can last a while and take medication / professional help to overcome. The good news about depression is that it can always be overcome. Don't let your feelings fool you into thinking otherwise. You're in control.
I have suffered from depression on a few occasions. Most of the time it didn't last long, but a couple times it lasted a pretty good while. What I began to realize is that each time I battled with it, I was making it worse. I was letting my emotions control me instead of learning how to control my emotions. I was constantly thinking negatively 24/7.
I was beating myself up and putting myself in the role of the victim, which made my depression much worse. Now I've learned how to deal with depression (and anxiety) appropriately through cognitive behavioral therapy and by reading everything I could about positive thinking. The internet is a wonderful resource for gaining such information. Now I'm not a victim, I'm a fighter.
The first thing depression makes you feel like doing is isolating yourself from everyone else. Think of that aspect of depression as a hungry animal that you feed every time you give in to it. The trick to overcoming depression is to love and care for yourself and to starve that animal until it goes away. Every time you shy away from friends and family, you're feeding it and giving it power.
You have to cut off that power supply even if it feels like you don't have the energy or willpower to come out of isolation. This is where you'll have to do some work. Force yourself to get back into your normal routine. Ignore those depressive emotions. Remember, you control your emotions, they don't control you. Once you take control and make positive thinking a habit, you'll feel better.
I can promise you that it won't be easy and that it'll take a great deal of effort and practice, but you're worth it. The first thing you should do is talk to your parents about how you're feeling. Open up a line of communication with them so they can help you out. If they're unable to help you, talk to a guidance counselor at school and be open and honest with them completely.
No one is going to punish you or think less of you because of this situation. Don't let the disparity of depression fool you. A lot of people will want to help you with this problem, especially since it's a problem that runs in your family. Let people help you and learn to help yourself. Turn off those negative thoughts in your head and replace them with positive thoughts.
Even if you don't believe them at first, you will eventually. The old saying is true: practice makes perfect. Think of how many times or how long you've been thinking to yourself "I'm so sad," "why me?" "I wish I was dead," "I can't take this anymore," etc. I bet you've been doing it for quite a while and now you've perfected the fine art of making yourself feel sad and hopeless.
You CAN turn it around.
Unfortunately, because bipolar disorder runs in your family, you may have to be put on medication. That can be tricky because some medications help and some don't and finding the right one takes time. Have a doctor diagnose you with the disorder before you begin to treat it. You may NOT be bipolar. Fortunately, medications can be very helpful in many ways, so don't let that get you down.
I highly recommend talking to a therapist as well as a psychiatrist. A psychiatrist will push pills on you. A therapist will try to treat you without pills first. If you, your parents, a guidance counselor, etc. can find someone for you to talk to who's both a therapist AND a psychiatrist, that would be best. Please go in informed before you talk to someone. Learn about the various methods of treatment.
There are so many helpful treatments and options that giving up shouldn't even cross your mind, but it's understandable that it does. Don't give into it and focus on facts, not feelings. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is a really wonderful form of therapy because it helps train you to think more positively and it encourages you to take an active role in your own treatment.
I can provide you with many helpful links if you're interested or you can go to Google and do some research on your own if you'd like. If you need further help, don't hesitate to email me. My email address is on my column. I wish you the best of luck and I know you'll get through this. If I can do it, and if millions and millions of other people can do it, you absolutely can too.
Ignore those negative, scary thoughts that make you sad. Ignore those people who're getting you down because they don't understand. Focus on yourself and the people around you who care. You've already taken the first step and reached out to us. Take the next step and reach out to those around you. Be strong. Be brave. And go get the help that you deserve. You're absolutely worth it. :)
|
|
This boy that is my friend that I dont like flirts with this girl who is my friend constantly.I dont even like him I only like him as a friend and I get jealous when he flirts with her.What does this mean and why am I doing this? (link)
|
There could be a few reasons why you feel that way.
#1. Maybe you like him and you just don't know it. Sometimes when you like someone it's not obvious right away. Girls tend to take guy friends for granted, and sometimes it takes a wakeup call - like him flirting with your friend, for example, or him showing attention to someone else - for us to realize that we have feelings for them that are stronger than an ordinary friendship.
#2. Maybe you're scared that if he and your friend get together, you'll be left out. You might be afraid that the closer they get, the further apart you'll be from both of them. That is a tricky situation, and it would be perfectly normal to wonder what role you'll play in their lives once they're together. Nobody wants to be the third wheel and nobody wants to lose their friends.
#3. Maybe you're jealous because you want love too. Not necessarily his love, but a love of your own. Maybe the way he treats her or what he says to her are things you want from a guy. If this is the case, it's perfectly normal to feel jealous. Everyone wants love, and no matter how happy you are for your friends, deep down, it's difficult to be happy for them if you're feeling lonely.
#4. Maybe you're jealous because you're into her. That might sound strange, but it's certainly a possibility. Many girls discover they're bisexual or lesbian when boys come into the picture and start flirting with their friends. Before boys come along, it would be easy to confuse romantic feelings for platonic friendship. Again, sometimes it takes a wakeup call to realize your true feelings.
Hopefully these suggestions help to bring you peace.
|
|
Ok So my bf and I had unprotected sex. I KNOW the whole "omg you shouldnt ever do that without protection" I know.. Well Im very worried of course. He used the withdrawal method and Ive read studies on precum on how it may not contain sperm depending on certain circumstances such as if hes previously masturbated or gone to the bathroom. Ive done the withdrawal method before when i was less experienced with it and found when i did it before i was very less careful. I didnt get pregnant though. im not due for my period until the end of the month so im worrying myself and maybe for nothing but how can i keep from being worried? FYI when we had sex he is like 100% sure he didnt get it in me and it was like 3 days after my period so it wasnt my most fertile time. any advice would be helpful! thanks! (link)
|
You're way too immature and ignorant to be having sex. I'm sure this answer is likely to get you mad, but someone needs to say it so it might as well be me. You say you "KNOW" the whole speech, yet you do it anyway. Either you have a death wish or you want the burden of an unexpected pregnancy. Both situations could be avoided simply by using protection or remaining abstinent. Honestly, since you seem to be so foolish, I would consider giving up sex until you've had some time to grow up.
What you THINK you "KNOW" is absolutely meaningless. This boy could have any number of STDs and could be giving them to you every time you have sex. I'm sure you "KNOW" him well enough to trust him, and I'm sure you think you love him, but if he sincerely loved you, would he be risking your life for his own selfish desires? It's not him that will be carrying a child for nine months, and it's probably not him who'd be raising the child for at least 18 years of its life.
If he truly loved you, he would encourage you to respect yourself and love yourself. Right now, despite what you might think, you neither love nor respect yourself or him. If you did, you would want to ensure long, healthy lives for both of yourselves so you could be together for as long as possible. At this rate, you and your boyfriend will split up in no time. If you can do it without getting pregnant or an STD, it'll be a miracle.
Use your brain and protect yourself. Take a step back from all your emotions and hormones and remember that you only live once. People die everyday from AIDs for non-sexual reasons. You are putting yourself at risk needlessly time and time again for sexual pleasure. It's honestly not worth of it. Think of him and yourself lying in hospitals with the HIV virus eating away at you until you're both dead...how do you think that'll make the people around you who truly love you feel?
You might be able to undo a pregnancy, which is disgusting, but you can't undo various STDs. You need to really use your head about this, I can't stress that enough. Think of your future - don't get so caught up in the moment. It won't hurt either of you to use protection. If you truly love each other and want the best for each other, you will be safe and be smart. Otherwise, both of you should keep doing what you're doing and prepare yourselves for a horrible future headed your way.
|
|
15/F. So, I like this one guy James*, but he keeps sending these hints that he likes my friend Jamie*. But then again, he'll flirt with me at times. So, how do I let James* know that I'm interested in him, without actually coming out and saying it? And also, do you know any ways to tell if he actually likes me or if he's just being a bit friendly? I'd really like the help. :] (link)
|
I don't want to patronize you because of your age - we were all 15 once, but I wouldn't get my hopes up about any of this. I'm assuming everyone involved is around the same age as you, and this is a time in your life where crushes change from day to day. He likes you and your friend because he's a hormone driven teenage boy - that's it. Tomorrow he might like several other girls in addition to you and your friend. It's just the way things go at that age. Don't take it personally and don't let yourself get so emotionally involved.
If I were you, I would enjoy the casual flirting but I wouldn't focus my attention on him. If he really likes you and he sees you showing interest in other guys, he might get the motivation to pursue you and decide that you're the one he wants to be with. I wouldn't hold my breath though. He's very young and his body and mind aren't exactly working together as a team, if you know what I mean. He may genuinely like you, but I can guarantee you that another part of him (down south) likes any female with a pulse. So protect your heart, because boys won't.
I think you should focus more on your friendship and less on this unlikely relationship. Your friendship could potentially last a life time. Isn't that more important than some silly boy? In the end, if you still like him and want to know how he really feels, just ask him directly. Why beat around the bush or torture yourself with the guessing game? Just get it over with. I promise it won't be as bad as you're anticipating. And I guarantee you that this guy isn't worth all of this nervousness and confusion.
Just remember that you deserve the absolute best. :)
|
First , i dont want any [ stupid ] answers , no one word answer because this requiers more. I dont want anyone answering on what they " heard " i want someone who has done this and KN0WS it CAN be done =) Thanks.
Well my body is average , im not fat , not lazy im athletic , do cheerleadering and soccer.
- I want to get in good [ body looking ] shape before summer , i mean im really determined. My boyfriend has a good body and i dont want him to show me up and i want to look better and feel better about my self.
I have little pudge in the front [ everyone does im guessing ] but i want ABS and i know i might now get the EXACT wway i want to but i want something better than what im working with now , ya know ? Also my " love handles " i want them G0NE and i mean gone , please give me some tips . Ill do anything for ( MY ) ideal body . thanks (link)
|
Modify your diet and increase your exercise. It really isn't as hard as people make it out to be. Try a cardio workout to begin with because even though they can be very vigorous, they can also be a lot of fun and motivate you to keep at it. I highly recommend getting some fitness DVDs and working out in the comfort of your own living room if you like. Start out with something simple such as Richard Simmons' Sweatin' To The Oldies. That's a classic and has helped generations of people lose weight and keep it off.
Also, I would suggest working on your trouble areas specifically. You say your biggest problem are love handles...I would suggest doing sit-ups daily and lots of bending and stretching from side to side. Stand on the floor with your feet spread apart and simply twist your midsection back and forth. You can do this while you watch a movie or something (making exercise consistently convenient is key to making it a habit). Come up with your own routine if you feel like it. Also, there's nothing like going to the gym to get motivated and pumped by all the people working out around you.
If I were you, I would get a CD player or an iPod and listen to a bunch of songs you loved from last summer. Work out to them as you imagine how you felt back then and keep yourself motivated by knowing that this summer will be completely different. You will have the body you want and you will feel amazing knowing how much hard work you're putting into making this happen. Talk to yourself as you do it and keep a positive, motivating inner dialogue going. Be your own cheerleader.
You sound determined, and I think you can do it! :)
|
|
well my exboyfriend and "babydaddy" came pick me up this past friday we were just gunna hang out have a few drinks well we ended up sleeping together and he has a gf ughhhh so heres my problem am i supposed to tell her what happened cause he is def not going too she has a right to know even if i dont like her i mean i would want someone to tell me so what should i do TELL her or NOT?? (link)
|
You need to completely change your focus and focus on your baby. I don't know how old you are, but that baby of yours deserves to have an adult mother and an adult father. If you aren't legally adults yet, the least you could do is to try and act like it. In my opinion, it sounds like you're all still acting like a bunch of children. Sleeping around with exes and getting pregnant isn't cute. It's pathetic. Whether you like it or not, your child will be heavily affected by your actions and the actions of those around you.
When you had a baby, you automatically gave up the right to put yourself first. Your baby needs to come first, and regardless of whether or not you love this guy, you need to stay focused on being a mother. Stop drinking and stop hooking up with him (or anybody else). Your child deserves a mother it can respect. Learn to respect yourself and don't let a guy, who isn't worth your time, string you along like he is. He definitely has you right where he wants you and you're playing right into his plan. Be a woman and put a stop to that now.
Don't bother telling his new GF what happened between you. Write it off as a mistake, but more importantly, learn from this mistake. Let this be the last time any guy uses you for his own sexual gratification. Move on from this a little wiser and a little stronger. Don't get caught up in all the drama. You're a mother now. You're better than this. Leave these high school antics in the past and begin to work on making a future for yourself and your baby. You'll be much happier that you did and so will your child. Think ahead and be smart.
|
|
well ok im 16 and i dont know how to ask this question without sounding absurd. i hope it doesnt sound stupid but...like most teens i go to bed late. cant rly help it and i cant change (trust me ive tried). because i get up early i am always tired. so my question is if anyone knows of someway to have more energy during the day besides of course going to beed early or consuming coffe, sugar, or energy drinks. hope this isnt a stupid question... =] (link)
|
Have you tried going to the vitamin shop? They have countless supplements that can really make a great impact on your day to day routine. They have lots of safe and natural sleep aids that can help you get to sleep earlier so that you get a full night's sleep. Also, they have a ton of vitamins that can give you a quick energy boost. I take a supplement called Emergen-C, and not only does it boost your immune system, but it gives you a quick boost of energy.
Also, B vitamins work wonders on your mood and your energy levels. I highly recommend going to your local doctor and getting a monthly B-12 shot. It lasts all month long and the effects are amazing. You get sick less often. You feel better and more well rested. You feel more energized and alert. A lot of celebrities (Madonna, Justin Timberlake - pretty much any performer whose job requires them to have lots of energy) swear by B-12 injections. It's a wonderful, safe solution to your problem and it's all natural.
Good luck, and I hope this helps!
|
from:lost_3v3 rytim3
do you think she likes me or cares for our friendship?
or both?
i just need another opinion before i ask.
cuz my guy friend said : yes she likes you (link)
| |
I'm not sure if she likes you or not. I'm not close enough to the situation to have a strong opinion to be able to say. I would imagine that she cares for your friendship at the very least, but you really need to be asking her. None of our opinions really matter. Only she has the answer you're looking for.
|
if you have nothing to say from the question i sent called Chat room of me and Jane just send me a reply letting me know you got it okay.
thank you for your advice your a great person. ;)
user: lost_3v 3rytim3 (link)
| |
I got it. And you're a great person too - very kind and passionate and warm. She's lucky to have you as a friend.
|
me
lately right after i told you about that party i went to and met that brother of my sisters room mate you sound jealous. and you don’t know why you were but to ask you this, what is going on between us? is something on your mind? what is bothering you? i did tell you how i felt and it is not right to play with my mind. you seem like you are not respecting how i feel and i don’t like it. just tell me what is going on! its time for me to move on and now it seems like you don’t want me to and why is that? you have no idea what i am going through, if you want to know then ask!
if u does care about our friendship then please don’t ignore this.
friends share!
jane
ok well my reply is this... to me i don’t think its right to force someone into a relationship (even if you to did not talk much.) i don’t no if that’s how you saw it or not, but that is what i saw when you told me about it. and i did feel jealousy yes, i felt the same when you were going out with aaron and anthony.
i felt (for that split second) that if you did happen to get a boyfriend then we would not be as close of friends as we are now any more. i felt like i was falling behind in life. everyone seemed to be moving forward but me. and it’s not just you either.
i know you hate hearing about my family drama. but they have a part in it as well. you see my cousins are getting married... and there younger than we are!!!!! their ages range from 17 to 20. and when they talk about it i again feel stranded. it may sound stupid but that’s how i felt. i never meant for you to think i’m trying to play with your emotions.
if that’s not what you were looking for in a reply the e-mail me back ok?
talk to you later
chat room with me and jane
me: why do you think i am going to leave you behind?
jane: i don’t no really. it’s just a feeling i get some times, icy cold feeling
me: but i am not i mean i do sound like i want to move on but there were reasons why
me: but i not sure if i want to tell you why
jane: i guess i’m just afraid of what may happen when you move away
jane: we won’t get to hang out any more
me: this might shock you but i have to say this
me: okay the reason why i went out with anthony and aaron is because to get over u. i
hated myself and i wanted to die. i became depressed because of my stupid likings to you and i thought it will be the best to move away so you wont get in to my depression. i never wanted to tell you about it but i had to. i hid away from my problems and worry about everybody else but me. i don’t want to let go of you and the others and the only way to keep it strong is to always try to stay together
alee: i don’t have a choice i have to go but if i did have a choice i would stay. i don’t trust myself and i don’t care about myself. but people say you have to love yourself to have love share (something like that)
me: umm yeah that’s why sorry
jane: i guess i can sort of understand that
jane: i don’t want you 2 b depressed though
me: i can’t stop it
me: it won’t stop
jane: if you don’t mind me asking why do u like me?
jane: i’m nothing special
me: let’s see i ask myself that every day
me: the answer is i don’t know, i don’t know how it happened but it did. but i am attracted by smarts, mysterious and adventures personality and that’s what you are.
but i really can’t explain it, its hard to put into words.
me: that’s why i want to leave
jane: clear your head type of thing?
me: yeah that’s why i think
me: i got mad at you when you said you were mad when i told you about that guy i met. because i
don’t know if you liked me too and i didn’t want you to. i rather see you with someone else. but you said the reason why you got mad is because you didn’t want me to leave our friendship and focus on some guy
me: but i wont do that, hell i hardly pay attention to my last boyfriends i like to spend time with friends and family
me: r you still there? we can talk about something else if you want
jane: yea i’m getting ready 4 beds. i got work 2 marrow
me:can i ask you something?
jane:yep
me:did you wanted a boyfriend? because it souned like you did on your reply.
jane:no not really
the rest of the chat was about work, and thats was it.
(link)
| |
There's really not much else I can say on this topic at the moment. Things seem to be progressing (although slowly) and I think in time you'll eventually get the answers you need from her which hopefully brings you some closure. If you need advice in the future, don't hesitate to ask, but there's really nothing more I can do with this. Good luck and be patient. :)
|
This is from:you know
this is the chat we had on the chat room.
ME:I got a question to ask you, what made you pissed off that night I told you that I met this guy at my sisters party?
I mean all I was saying is that me and him talked that's all. But you sounded pissed and u said you dont know u should be happy about it or pissed. What you mean?
Jane:honestly? I really dont know when you told me i just got angy for no reason.
that was it i couldnt think what else to say, so we went on chatting about whatever. (link)
|
You should have pressed the issue further. You deserve more than a generic answer like that. However, like I said in my last answer to you, you may have to be the one to finish this. If all she has to offer are excuses that lead to nothing, you have to let it go.
She's obviously confused, and it's up to you if you want to be there for her as a friend, but romantically you need to move on. Your pain shouldn't live on until her confusion clears up. You'll be much happier in the long run if you let go of false hope.
Good luck. :)
|
User: lost_3v rytim3
Why do I have to talk to her? I mean why can’t she step up and tell me how she feels why I have to. To tell you this I am moving next December out of state and I was not planning to have a relationship at the moment (cause I am moving) I do want to be with her but I know I am not ready for a relationship with a women. (She will be my first PLUS she is my best friend) I want to know WHO I am bt the other half want me to wait for her because I don’t want to see her with some one else. But I can’t stop that. I forgot that in the chat room she had said to me “I guess time will tell for the both of us” what does that mean?
(wait and see???)
When move I know I will miss her very much and I am trying to find her out but I can’t because SHE can’t find out what she wants.
What I think what is going on in Jane’s head is that she is surprised about my feelings to her also flattered. Curious on what it will be like going out with her best friend who is the same sex as she is. And wonders what others (friends and family) might think of it.
That’s what I think what she is thinking about.
Well I don’t know I really wish for her the best and I wish I can find out how to fix my confusing love life.
I am glad you are reading my replies and questions you’re the first person I know who gave me good advice.
And I will be glad to try to help you out if you have troubles.
Thanx again.
(link)
|
Hey there. :)
In my last advice to you, I suggested that you ask her because it's you who's suffering with wanting her and uncertainty. It's you who deserves answers and a chance to pursue those feelings or to let them go. It's obvious to me that your feelings for her are strong and unending.
As someone who's familiar with the feeling of wanting someone she cannot have, I know what it's like to have more questions than answers. It isn't always easy to get the answers from the person you like, so if that's the case you have to look within and provide your own answers.
How will you handle this? How will you move on? When will you let go? When will you take back control of your life? If she can't provide the answers you need, you have to be the one to finish this. You deserve peace and a resolution to this situation once and for all.
And thank you for the offer of giving me advice. If I ever need advice, I will definitely come to you. I wish you well.
|
|
hmm where to begin...i saw this boy at one dance that i'd never seen before. he was really cute so i just smiled at him and he smiled back. at the time i didnt really think anything of him, just another cute boy at my school. it turns at he was a year older than me so i wouldnt have any classes with him. then as the year went on i started seeing him more and more and thinking about him more and more. then at a school event we finally talked for to the first time. he kept smiling the entire time. then like 2 weeks later a friend of mine who is also a year older than me borrowed on of my soccer hoodies that had my name on it and she had a study with him. after seeing it he started asking a bunch of questions about how long we knew each other and everything. then he told her i was cutee. :) then one day i got a pass to one of my friends studies and he was in it. needless to say i went like everyday. we talked and flirted a few times. and it started getting to a point where everytime i saw him he'd say "hey, whats up" and we were getting close but now its summer i've already seen him twice and we just talked casually. im his friend on myspace, i have his s/n, and one of my friends is dating his best friend. i know he doesnt like me for a fact, but he's the type that is still going to look for better as long as hes not comitted and the girl he likes is playing him. i feel awful. so how can i get to know him better without coming on too strong and make him see that shes just messing with his head, and that i wouldnt do that? thank you very much in advance (: (link)
|
Well, first of all, let me start off by saying that you have a very cute story and that you seem very lovely. He'd be lucky to have you. I can tell that you have very genuine feelings for this guy, so I'm going to be as sincere as possible. I love the hoodie part in your question because something like that sounds like fate to me.
Normally, I get people asking me questions, and I can tell that they're reading into things and being delusional. I don't get that feeling with you, and I could see myself in your position. There are far too many chance encounters in your story for all of it to add up to coincidence. So just know that I see what you see.
With that said, I think you're selling yourself a little short. Some guys take a while to realize that they truly like someone because sometimes those feelings scare them. Sometimes it's easier for them to ignore them and to pursue someone else they're attracted to but don't feel as strongly about because it's less intimidating for them.
I'm not saying that's definitely what's going on here, but it's a possibility you should consider. Also, if he doesn't like you like you said you know for a fact, you also have to take into consideration that that might change. He might think of you as just a friend right now, but that doesn't mean that's how he'll always see you.
My advice is to continue to be his friend. Maybe in the future he'll open up his eyes and see that the girl he likes isn't worth his time and that the girl who is worth his time has been by his side all along. It happens more than you think and not just in the movies. If your feelings for him are strong, being with him will be worth the wait.
Also, by remaining his friend, you'll be the one he turns to for support. You will be the one he opens up to - the one he lets inside. That's a powerful and beautiful thing. So try to be his friend and give it some time. He may reveal his feelings for you or he may develop feelings for you. Either way - wait and see what happens.
Finally, just because you like him and you wait for him doesn't mean you have to put your life on hold for him. Go out and meet other guys. He's likely to notice you more if he sees you being successful and leading a life of your own. Many boys like to chase. Maybe the reason he doesn't like you is because you've been chasing him.
Let him chase you a bit and let him miss/want you. He might be worth the wait, but so are you. Go out and live your life to the fullest. If he decides he wants to play a bigger role in your life - fantastic (and invite me to the wedding!). If he doesn't - well, you still have a great friend and a very fun life ahead of you. That's not bad at all. :)
|
i dont no how to do anything on my advice column, i dont no how to get a cool new backround, or chance my name at the top, or get people to ask for advice.
can u help me?
kthanks (link)
| |
The Help/FAQ section on the left panel tells you everything you need to learn from how to start answering questions to how decorate the column. If you need anymore assistance, feel free to ask.
|
|
omg. im black and i wanted to tryout for it since i really love the books, but idk because like none of the characters are black in the story. um theres 5 winners and the remaining auditions are only for claire and massie right? i wanted to be like Layne or something.. since they never really said what race she was. ugh so pretty much i should give up right? since massie and claire were both described as being white. ughhhhhhhh or can you tryout for other charas like layne? or extras in the movie? i need info! btw im 13. (link)
|
I'm not a casting agent, but I know that race isn't always important to the studios. Several shows I like initially had scripts with characters in it meant to be a specific race, but when the show was being cast they chose an actor/actress of a different race just because they liked him/her and liked what he/she brought to the show. As someone who writes a lot, I can tell you from experience that a character's race very rarely plays a crucial role in written material.
If you want to audition for a part, my advice is to go for it. If you truly want to be an actress, you're going to have to go to tons of auditions and be told "no" a bunch of times. You better get used to it now. If you only go to auditions you think you'll be given a "yes" at, you're going to be very disappointed. Use this audition as a learning lesson to gain more experience from. It will only make you better at your craft and help you be more prepared for future auditions.
Good luck and break a leg! :)
|
I'm 16, hes 18.
we're serious, as far as serious goes for couples my age.
we spend weeks together at a time.
he never lets me spend money, unless he has none at the time. and he always wants to take me places.
we used to share a lot of romantic moments together, my favorite- eating a candle lit dinner on a dock by the lake under the stars. nuclear plants at bay.
now, ive started to feel like we're more distant, even though we're spending the same amount of time together. we have no moments- the only passionate kisses from him i get, is when we're going to have sex.
he's got a very sarcastic personality- and sarcastically tells me hes going to cheat on me, or break up with me, because he knows i dont like it.
i feel like our relationship is headed a little downhill right now, i want to talk to him, but i dont know what i should say to get things across to him.
im a pushover, and nothing makes me angry. i just get depressed. (link)
|
It's good that you're generally a happy person, but it's OK to get angry too. Sometimes it's good to get angry, not just because it's a sign that you're willing to stand up for yourself, but because sometimes it lets the other person know that they're going too far before they end up doing something they regret and can't undo. Your boyfriend, with his sarcastic jokes and the lack of romantic effort he's putting into your relationship, is approaching crossing the line and costing him the relationship. The problem is, if you don't communicate, how's he supposed to know?
Relationships are all about communication, and if you're unhappy but want this relationship to work, you're going to have to talk to him. Be open and honest and tell him what's making you depressed and what would make you happy. Most girls pick up on things like that, but many guys are oblivious as to what's making their significant other upset. Unless you tell him, you're not being fair to him or to yourself. So open up your mouth and start talking. Tell him exactly what you told me. You deserve to be happy and to be treated with respect. Make sure you get what you deserve.
Good luck and write back if you need more help. :)
|
|
What does it mean to 'feel your heart drop'? (link)
| |
It depends on the context in which it was said in. It's usually a bad thing though, but it's almost always a reaction to a surprise. Basically it means that something made their heart feel like it was dropping from their chest and shattering in their stomach, as though their heart were glass that had been dropped on the ground.
|
|
Alright, me and my boy have been together a year + a week or two. Like three days ago, i broke up with him. He was suppose to hangout with me, not, lets call her "tamms". Tamms is one of my bestfriends, as well as his. They didn't do anything together though. The reason was he was suppose to spend the day with me, not her. It's a stupid reason because this has happend before but this time I really got mad cause i cancelled plans for the boyfriend. I always get jealous when he talks to other girls, [we have alot of girls in our neighborhood, boyfriend lives three blocks away] I still love him, and i know he loves me. But if i cant contain my jealousy issue, i dont want to get back together with him. I've cheated on him once in the past and that was the worst mistake I ever made, but we got past that. Sorry it was long. Comments advice or opinons would be appreciated. (link)
| |
My comment is that you're a hypocrite. My advice is to stop being a hypocrite. What right do you have to be jealous of your boyfriend if you cheated on him? I know people make mistakes, but you continue to make them. First dishonesty, then insecurity, then you dump him? Sorry to say it, but he sounds much better off without you. I hope you take this lesson and this advice and learn something from it. Otherwise, you've wasted your time and the time of everyone around you including me.
|
|
I am going into Highschool next year, and I don't know anyone because I'm new to this area. I lack a lot of confidence and tend to make friends with girls that nobody likes, because I feel bad for them. Which doesn't help. So i was wondering if anyone had any advice on how to become more confident. Or possibly any on how to make the right friends. I also receive good grades so I'm always worried people only want to be my friend because I'm smart. (link)
|
Aww. I don't even know who you are and I wanna be friends. Maybe you can do my college homework. Haha. Just kidding. Anyway, I think you should see this as a positive thing. You're in a new area going to a new school. Nobody has any idea who you were back at your old school. This is your chance to completely reinvent yourself and start over. You should have more confidence than ever.
The best way to build confidence is to constantly tell yourself uplifting things. Instead of blowing negative things up out of proportion, blow positive things up out of proportion. You probably won't believe it at first, but stick with it because it'll sink in eventually. There's an old saying I learned last year: fake it until you make it. That's what it takes to gain positivity.
You have to think of insecurities and confidence as living things. If you feed your insecurities, which you have been, it'd only going to grow. Whereas if you starve your confidence, which you have been, it's going to wither away and die. So you have to go through the motions of feeding your confidence and ignoring your insecurities even though you won't feel automatic results.
As far as friends go, when you start to like yourself (which I promise you that you will), others will pick up on that and see how awesome you are. I already think you're awesome for choosing to be friends with people that might not have a lot of friends. Don't stop doing that. Nice guys don't finish last, and I think that quality is extremely admirable. You should be proud of that.
So you're bright, smart, considerate, sweet, why exactly are you having a lack of confidence? :P
I personally think there should be more people like you in the world. :)
|
|