Hi there Advicenators.
The last time I logged on here I was 21. Im almost 30 now. Wow I thought I was well put together at that time. I wasn’t. I was looking for validation in being right, or proving that I had the solutions to problems. I didn’t. It makes me think about all the times I went looking for answers online and who was on the other end of that answer. Was it someone like my 21 year old self who didn’t know anything? Be careful out there, friends, and I hope you get the answers you’re looking for.
-Kat
Gender: Female
Location: Washington
Age: 21
MSN: katlzxdcj@live.com
Member Since: June 1, 2007
Answers: 163
Last Update: May 21, 2014
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So let's say a couple had a baby, and they looked like this:
Woman: Brown Hair, Brown Eyes
Man: Brown Hair, Blue Eyes
What color hair and eyes would the baby have? Just curious. (link)
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It depends on the grandparents. However, brown hair and brown eyes are dominant so most likely, brown hair brown eyes, would be the outcome.
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I was diagnosed with bipolar II. And my hypomanic episode now is kinda weird because yesterday i was talking, dancing, jumping, happy, everything was ok, even small fails kept me saying "who cares? life is beautiful", like normal hypomanic episode with a lot of things going on.. today I feel energy that I need to use, but I dont laugh non stop and Im not really that clingy I just feel the energy I cant sit normally I keep shaking my legs, hands, I have many things to do, Im spontaneous and my senses are more sensitive and I feel more than happy. Like, can hypomania be one day more severe than the other day? (link)
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Hypomania can moderately more or less severe on some days. Generally though the more severe the "up" part of your hypomania is, the more severe the "down" part will be. It's normal to not be able to sit still, and feel extremely motivated. If it feels different than it has before, you may want to talk to your doctor (if you are seeing one) so that they can alter your treatment. Hypomania can sometimes progress in to full blown mania. People with mania are hyperactive, with limitless energy and extreme euphoria. They have feelings of power and mastery, intensely interested in and talk about one thing after another, moving on quickly unable to concentrate on any one thing. People with mania swing into depression a lot quicker and a lot more severe.
So yes, it can be a little more severe on some days as opposed to others, one cycle can be more heightened than others. But be sure the tell your doctor or psychiatrist about the changes so that they can monitor your treatment properly.
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i hav done sex many time.im unmarried n nw my parenta want to made my merriage wd any other person. hw can i satisfy my husband.and my vijaena is becoming loose.plz help me (link)
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First of all, this question is so badly put together that I'm not even sure what it really is. If you want good advice, we need to be able to understand the question. If english is not your first language, go to a translation site, use a dictionary, or something, to make sure that your question is at least readable.
As far as your vagina goes, if it's loose, it's loose. There's not a lot of ways to reverse that. You can try kegel exercises, but other than that, you're stuck where you're at. There's also more sexual activities you can partake in other than vaginal penetration. You can use your hands, mouth, toys, anal (if you're into it) etc. If you marry someone that loves you, then he shouldn't mind.
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21 year old female.
My boyfriend and I have been dating for 9 months. Lately I have noticed that I have put on some weight. I am 5 feet tall and currently weight 136 pounds. I wouldn't say that I am exactly fat but I am not used to being this weight. Either way, I am torn about whether or not I want to lose weight. On one hand, I have preferred in the past to be fit and thin, but recently I have been questioning whether it really is that important to be skinny, and I have been trying to accept myself as I am.
My boyfriend is very sweet and supportive. I have been asking him lately if he thinks I need to lose weight and he would say "no I love you exactly as you are" but I asked him again the other day and he told me that he does wish I would lose some weight and that he is less attracted to me since I have put it on, but he didn't want to tell me because he didn't want to be a jerk. I don't feel like it's fair for me to be mad at him since I asked, but I am hurt that he feels this way.
Do you think it's okay for your romantic partner to say this? Other thoughts/comments? Thanks
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I've struggled with this my whole life. Do I torture myself and be what's socially considered pretty, or do I enjoy my life, eat what I want and have fun?
Recently I tried an incredibly harsh diet. Very low calorie, very restrictive, no alcohol, no sugars, nothing. And yea, I lost crazy weight. But it sucked. I couldn't go out with friends to bars, I had to sit and watch people eat at restaurants. It just sucked. Right now I've been eating what I want, I don't restrict myself and it turns out that by not restricting myself, I actually eat less because I have less cravings. I weigh more but I'm happier and have more fun this way.
As for your boyfriend's response. If you don't want to hear the straight truth then don't ask. However, I would rather know the truth and find someone that loves me for who I am, over someone that lies to me to spare my feelings and doesn't really love me and my body. My boyfriend and I have gained weight since we got together, we both know it, but we still love each other. We work together to get motivated and work out occasionally and eat healthier. I think you should talk to him and let him know how his response made you feel. If he loves you then he will be willing to overlook your weight and encourage you to lose some, if that's what you want.
It's not up to him whether or not you need to lose weight. You determine your own happiness. If you want to lose weight, then do it. If you aren't concerned about your weight then don't worry about what other people think, just enjoy and have fun!
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I'm 14 and a female.. I asked a question about 2 months ago about me not sure if I should go to Mexico or not, and well I did go. It was an unforgettable experience. unfortunately my grandmother passed away and my mom and I have been having issues since then. I've always had this anger towards my mom. I try to let it go but the thought of what she did/does makes me sick. A few years back i was a lot younger and my older sister caught her sexting on webcam with a man. I was too young to really be upset but a few months ago she left her phone in my room and she left to the store and I also did something I shouldn't have. I snooped through her phone and saw she was sexting and had pictures of a man's area.. I haven't told her anything, my sister back then did but I didnt want to create the tension that they created before i thought i'd just forget about it but i didnt. its been making us fight so much i get angry for the smallest thing, how can i make ourb relationship better? (link)
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I can see how it would create tension. A loved one passing away, along with your mom doing things that you don't understand. It would be a confusing time for a 14 year old.
First of all, your mother is an adult. She has the ability to decide whether or not she's going to share herself with another person. Instead of snooping through her stuff and harboring this resentment, maybe you should bring it up. I know you are 14, it's been drilled in to your brain that sexting is bad. And for you it would be because you're a minor. If ever someone younger than 18 was sexting, it would be considered distribution of child pornography. But for your mom, she is an adult woman with needs, including sexual needs, just like any other human. Technology these days has a part in relationships now that are, to some people, considered normal. Talk to her about her love life, ask her questions if you don't understand something.
Second, your grandmother passed away. (I'm not sure if it was your grandmother on your mom or dad's side) If her mother has died, she is probably hurting greatly. When my mom died, I was an absolute wreck. I was moody and irritable and got in fights with a lot of people that I love. My family nearly fell apart. Perhaps she's holding in some emotions, that maybe she doesn't share with you because she might not think you want to know or wouldn't understand.
My policy on nearly everything, is up front honesty. Always share what you are feeling. Bottling up thoughts, feelings, and emotions is never good. You think about things for too long, draw your own conclusions, which may or may not be right. If you want to make your relationship better, you need to talk to your mom. Be completely honest about how you feel about everything. You may find out that she has some of the same feelings that you do.
Hope all goes well.
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Hello,
I'm a bisexual teenage girl, and I'm in a long distance relationship with an amazing girl. We mostly text and meet each other on Facebook, but I would like to know some other ways to enhance our relationship.
I would appreciate any suggestions on fun things we can do -- for example, things we can do together on the computer. It doesn't have to be on the computer, though -- just anything enjoyable we can do without physically being next to each other.
Thank you! (link)
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I had a long distance relationship for 4 years. We would have weekly cam chats using skype and play little games. Sometimes we would draw each other silly little pictures and show it to each other on cam and see if we could guess what it was. We played pokemon tcg by pointing the camera at our cards. We always were looking for dumb little 2 player games online so that we could compete. (We stuck to stupid flash games or facebook games because we're both very competitive at real video games and we don't play together, its better for our relationship). We took turns picking a movie and one person would stream it to the other while we both had popcorn. We would stream our desktop so that the other person could see it and play "ms paint pictionary". Sort of like tje game draw something but with ms paint and streaming instead :p you can do a whole bunch of stuff, you just have to get creative!
Best of wishes to you.
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So I'm in high school and im 17, I use to be friends with this girl but then she slept with my boyfriend and we have hated each other ever since. I spread a rumor about her saying she had std's (she really does) and I know that was wrong and if I could take it back I would but she came up to me threatened to fight me in front of people at school and she said to watch my back. I'm not afraid of her at all but I told my crew about it, who are over 18 and they messaged her on facebook saying that if she laid a hand on me that she would regret it. I just want to know how much trouble could I get in from spreading a rumor and how much trouble she can get in for threatening to kick my ass. I know its stupid high school drama but I don't want to get the cops involved. how should I handle it? (link)
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I would stop now before anyone does get in trouble, or get hurt, or both. You're in high school, so chances are that she has told people, and you've told people, and words spread like wildfire.
It's good that you are rethinking your actions. Bullying, whether or not you think it was true or deserved, hurts everyone. You don't want to be that person, the bully.
Anyways, as far as repercussions go. You probably won't get in a whole heap of trouble for the rumor. It's a rumor and no one can prove that you are the source. However, if there's good cause for your school to think it's you, you may get some counseling or detention or something to that effect.
Now, the threats of violence, however, are a different story. Your school and police will (or should) take that very seriously. Usually, if a teacher or staff at your school get wind of a fight or someone threatening to kick someone else's ass, they will proactively talk to those people about it, or perhaps even suspend the students in question, or get the police involved. Adults threatening a minor is even worse. If the police were to hear of this, there is no temporary suspension from school, or counseling. In most states, a person who willfully threatens to commit a crime which will result in death or seriously bodily injury of another is criminally liable. You should tell your friends to back off. Violence is never the answer to anything, and will most likely escalate the situation.
Best wishes.
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Is it safe to pet stray cats?
My apartment complex has a little mascot... a stray cat that roams the grounds that they keep food out for. I run into him a few days a week and he's super friendly.
I'm just wondering if it's safe to pet him?
Is there anything he can have that would linger with me even if I washed my hands afterward?
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It is generally safe to pet stray cats. A stray cat is a people friendly cat (most likely owned by someone before). He probably doesn't have any diseases that make it dangerous to pet him. You can tell when a tame cat is sick. They may act delirious, or cry out, or be more aggressive. With feral cats, because they tend to avoid humans, it's harder to tell. But that cat is not feral.
If the kitty is acting normal, then you really have nothing to worry about. Furthermore, most diseases can't be transferred from felines to humans. The worst thing the cat probably has is fleas, maybe ticks or ear mites. Wash your hands after you pet him, make sure you are doing laundry frequently, and vacuuming. This should discourage any flea population from developing. But petting the cat a few times a week probably won't be a problem.
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Ok so (please awnser the question i asked. I dont care if you think my crush is innapropriate etc etc etc. dont bash it! i will ignore you.) Now,i am seriously crushing on my jitsu sensei. he's a bit older than me but he's single and simply amazing! sweet, makes me feel safe etc. the re is no "touch barrier issue while we are training and are apartners as it is the nature of the sport to be in close and lots of... body contact. i always stay later after class, because my bus doesnt come until 1030 so there is no reason to walk to the bus stop and wait alone when i can stay at thje dojo a bit long... and talk to him *blushes*. he makes me laugh about the silliest stuff and we get a long really well. i trust him so much he is one of the few people i will allow to hip throw me. im stilll a novice but the plan is to grade in december. sometimes the group goes out for socials and stuff after the session and the entire jitsu community(international)is very touchy feely etc.We really are almost closer than a family. anyways
the issue is that once off the mats i sense a major "touch barrier" between me an my amazing sensei.and i would like to know a cute,flirty,
not obvious, and very tactful and inconspicuous way of breaking it so the flirting can go to the next level. please help (link)
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It sounds like your sensei is trying to keep things professional. You can imagine that in an activity like that, touching from a lover would be distracting, and focus is important there. He has no touch barrier in training because it's part of his job as a trainer. That being said, it can be difficult to break the "touch barrier" with someone that's keeping it professional for a reason. Perhaps, a touch on the arm when he makes you laugh. Or bump against him with your shoulder. Although, you don't need to touch to flirt. Just talk to him, maybe sit,or stand, closer to him than you would normally. If he's interested, he will pick up on your flirting and respond.
Best wishes.
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I have a question regarding email etiquette. I am the type of person that responds to emails fairly quickly, same day or next day for the most part, unless I am extremely busy or forget. I try not to get frustrated when others do not respond in a timely manner, as reasons for delayed or absent response are varied. I still wonder sometimes whether no response means the other person is just busy, or disinterested.
I recently went in to speak to a speech pathologist regarding volunteering at her office. She let me observe one session, and when it was time to leave, I was trying to figure out which days I would be available to volunteer in the future. There was some back-and-forth talk and misunderstandings, so she told me to just follow up with her in a couple weeks when she returns back from a trip. Right after leaving her office I emailed her to tell her I could modify my class schedule to be able to accommodate volunteering during the week, and that I would follow up in a couple weeks to sort out details.
Maybe I'm overanalyzing, but I wonder whether my email was too much and shows I am too eager, because she told me to write her in a couple weeks? I also wonder if a response is even required? I didn't ask her any questions, but thought that she could have responded to acknowledge that I wrote and thank me, etc. Is this an email that does not require a response, or does it seem like she is simply not interested in corresponding because she might not have a good impression of me? Thanks for any advice and/or feedback!
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It sounds like with a trip coming up, she may have had a lot on her mind and not enough time to sort out specifics.
At least now she has your email and knows that you will be following up. I would just follow up in a few weeks like she asked and your email stated, and go from there. If she didn't want you there then she should tell you, to avoid any further misunderstandings.
I don't think this is overeager, as long as you wait the few weeks for her to return from her tip.
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Heyyy..... So I like pleasing myself. But I do it like once in a month of two. I'm up to 2 vingers almost 3 (I have smAll hands) anayway I tried difrent tings but it doesn't fit* and its sorta painfull when I forse it and then I lose the feeling...* also I wanna have sex but I dunno with who ( I'm not that pretty) and I'm afraid of the fact that I'm loosing my virgin...* is it gona be painfull?* please help!* thx !! (link)
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Don't do anything that's going to cause you to hurt yourself. Masturbation is not about how many fingers you can fit or how many things you can use. It's a sexual release and it should feel good.
Sex will generally happen in time for everyone. If you're afraid of losing your virginity and you don't have a significant other, then I would say that you aren't ready. It can be painful, but it's different for everyone.
Don't go out looking to have sex, let it happen with someone you love and trust. You will have the best experience possible that way.
Best wishes.
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I was just wondering whether there's any females here who at some point have been at a size where their inner thighs chafed together and then lost weight.
This summer I have done a lot of travelling and my inner thighs have chafed and now the skin is kind of red and rough. However, I'm slowly losing weight (working out, eating better) and I want to know whether this skin will get better and go back to the way it was before after a while.
Could anybody answer this question for me? :) (link)
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They will definitely get better. It's just like an abrasion on your skin, it will heal. I've been in the same situation as you. I used to be a size where running was torture because of the chafing. Now that i've lost weight, it's not so bad. But I still wear some underarmour compression shorts under my workout pants, or some leggings or something, that helps to avoid the chafing in the first place.
Keep up the good work, eventually chafing won't be an issue :)
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I recently met this guy at the college I am attending. He works at the textbook store, so when I appeared there constantly, he always teased me, saying, "You're here again?" He would smile and be very helpful. It wasn't until a few days ago we actually got to talking. He was leaving work and he saw me reading on a bench, and he said, "You're still here, huh?" So I nodded and smirked, and I asked him if he wanted to sit with me. He did and we talked for maybe two hours until he had to go to class. He asked me for my number and texted me regularly, but he replies slow. He is saving money for a car, so he gets rides from his parents. It's actually irritating because I don't have any chance to hang out with him outside of school.
Anyway, the other night, we met up when I had to go to the school for a movie night. We met in the library and talked usually. He was being very flirty and would touch me and he even hugged me when he had to go to class. While he was hugging me, he poked me in the eye, and then when I said ouch, he kissed my eyelid and hugged me close. He was being so sweet and romantic. After his class ended a half an hour later, we met up and played with a batch of puppies someone had in the field. We then spent the night on the track in the field talking and looking at the stars. He is so flirty and sweet, I have to fight my urges to kiss him and throw myself on to him. We seem to have amazing chemistry and I just can't get him out of my head. However, when I asked where his interests lie, he said I was sweet and cute, but he was still in the "friend making" zone. It hurt a little bit, but I agreed and went along with it. I have fallen for him so fast, but he wants to take it slow. Face to face, he seems so interested, but through text, he seems very bored of me. Any advice? (link)
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It sounds like the two of you get a long great, and it's no wonder that you've fallen for him so fast.
Like the last person said, text is a terrible indicator for how someone truly feels. It's hard to incorporate any emotion in to plain text in a short message. And guys are particularly bad at it, I've noticed.
Some people just move slower than others. If you really like him, give him a while to adjust and just continue to get to know him. By the way you make it sound, what you've got going is good, and you wouldn't want to put the brakes on it by rushing him. And the fact that he wants to take it slow means that he doesn't want to just be in it just for the physical aspect, he's trying to really know you, as a person.
Also, it sounds like, even though he doesn't have his own transportation, he is still making an effort to see you. That's good! If he wasn't interested, he probably wouldn't go out of his way or spend 2 hours talking to you, or hug you, or any of that.
My advice would be to just keep going and see where it goes. He seems interested and relationships don't stay in the "friend making" zone forever. If there's chemistry, it will move forward by itself.
Best wishes!
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How do you clear your history on an Android Tablet? (link)
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It depends on the tablet/manufacturer. On my samsung tablet running chrome, I would go to Chrome, hit the menu button, open a new tab, tap history, and then tap clear browsing history at the bottom.
On the native browser, I would open up the internet app, hit menu, go to settings, tap privacy and security, and then clear history.
Different tablets and browsers have slightly different ways to clear the history, though.
Hope this helps.
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my school starts soon. Luckily my mothers case is not a big one so it wasn't on the news or anything. I told one of my friends but haven't told two others. If I invite them over they will probably notice my mom not there. Do you think if people find out they will be all cruel or teasing like you usually see on television shows or understandable and just mind their own business? I am optimistic and believe they will be understandable and won't act in the way you usually see like on TV. It is hard to believe why people would want to be like that
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Kids can be cruel. But I think the way they act in tv shows and movies is a little over exaggerated. I'm sure that if it gets out there will be rumors and such. The stories always change as the rumors spread.
I'm not sure how old you are. If this is something I had heard in middle school or high school my reaction would be along the lines of "oh wow, I had no idea" and then I would move on. Kids are mor concerned with their own drama, who's dating who, sports, homework, etc.
Anyways, I personally wouldnt broadcast it for everyone to know, but I wouldn't lie if someone, especially a friend, asked about it either. I really don't think you'll be teased horribly about it.
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I'm 20 and my boyfriend is 19. He is joining the army working the next month and his best friend which is my best friends husband keeps telling him to propose to me because military life for a couple is so much easier when you're married. I feel like we're rushing into things plus I'm not even sure if I want to marry him. I love him but I don't know if I can put up with his flaws forever! Please help me! (link)
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Well if you want my personal opinion, 19 and 20 is too young to be getting married. From personal experience, if I would have gotten married at 20, I would have regretted the hell out of it. But I don't know you or your situation very well.
I do know that you'll get some sort of money for being married to someone in the military. Which makes it easier financially, sure. But does it make it easier that your spouse will be away for months at a time? Does it make it easier to stay faithful or not question your decision to get married? Probably not.
If it feels like things are being rushed, then they are. Yoou really sound like you aren't ready at all. My advice would be to not get married. At least not now. Your relationship doesn't turn a magical 180 degrees just because you're married, it won't make it better or easier. I'm not saying break up with the guy either.
Test the waters. See what military life is like. I'm not a military person, married or otherwise, but I have friends who are military wives and they all talk about how hard it is sometimes. It may not be what you want. If it turns out you really do love the guy and you're ok with the military life then you can always get married later.
Trust your gut instinct. The doubts you're having now will probably only be magnified by getting married. Plus, you are 20! This is a time where you should be having fun, not worrying about getting married and waiting for a guy who you may turn out to not be the one.
Just make the best decision for you! Getting married is quite the commitment, and knowing what you want now will avoid pain and regrets later.
Best of wishes to you.
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if your having anal sex and the penis accidently slides by the tip of the vagina , can i get pregnant , ( guy hasn't cum yet ? help please , im supposed to get my period today
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Probably not, if he hadn't came yet.
There is a slim possibility of sperm in the precum, but not usually. And if it didn't actually enter in to the vagina then you most likely have nothing to worry about.
Wait a few days for your period, you should be just fine.
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I would love to give my partner a great hand job, but how can I without no lubricant? I have no money to buy lube, and I have no condoms to provide lube. I heard using saliva and spit is one way, but it doesn't last long, so what can I use thats like lube and lasts longer? (link)
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You don't need lube to give a hand job.
Just grab on and pull the skin up and down. Sorry for being graphic, but sugar coating is time consuming and im not sure how to put it any differently.
If you must use lube then you can use lotion! Lotion is always a good option and easy to find usually.
HAve fun!
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Okay so this boy and I were together for a week and he said he like me a lot and I said the same thing. So we sent pics back and forth and he said he wanted to do a lot to me. But he told me to keep our relationship secret. I did. Then today, he said I told two to three people and that we weren't even going out in the first place and that he doesn't know if he wants to be my friend. And he blocked me. What can I do to get him back? Please help me! (link)
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Truth is, if he blocks you over something so stupid like that, then you probably don't want him back. He just blocked you over someone knowing that you were a going out. From what you're saying (if you didn't actually tell anyone) then he's making excuses not to be with you. He was ok with it when it was just pics back and forth but can't handle being with you in person.
It sounds like he wants to keep you on the back burner. like, he wants to keep you around as an option, but he doesn't actually want to be with you. Do you really want to be someone that's embarrassed to be with you?
My advice would be to just let this one go.
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So there's this guy that I work with. I'm 18, he's 22. He's a sarcastic person but I've noticed that his sarcasm toward me is mean but his sarcasm toward everyone else at work is nice or funny. He found out that I think he's cute so I was beginning o think that he was mean to me because he was trying to make himself look ugly to me or something. But today, I was working self checkout and he came over and asked if I could ring out his lunch, so jokingly sighed and he said "it's a shame that I make you work while at work, huh?" I bet you really hate me." I didn't answer him and he said "I'll take that as a yes" so I was a sarcastic bitch back and said "I mean, I've always hated you" but I smiled and he said "you're so mean. all you have to do is talk more. I get that you're shy and everything but you can be nicer" and I said back that he's mean all the time so I don't have to be nice and he walked away and didn't say anything. I was just wondering what that was. Like, I not shy toward him, I just don't talk much. So, was he dropping a hint at something, that if I talked more, he'd be nicer or what? I'm so confused. (link)
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Maybe if you're just normally a quiet person he's sarcastic to you to try and get you to talk. He might not realize that you think he's being mean to you. He may even think that because you don't talk a lot that you're the one being mean. (not that you are.)
That interaction didn't sound totally mean but it didn't sound nice either. Perhaps you could try and talk to him normally without the sarcasm and see how it goes.
Usually I find that sarcasm and joking is a way for people to talk that don't know each other very well. It's not the "real" person, so to speak. You may actually like each other and get along well if you just have a conversation!
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