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Marrying my first official boyfriend
I'm 20 and my boyfriend is 19. He is joining the army working the next month and his best friend which is my best friends husband keeps telling him to propose to me because military life for a couple is so much easier when you're married. I feel like we're rushing into things plus I'm not even sure if I want to marry him. I love him but I don't know if I can put up with his flaws forever! Please help me!
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Well if you want my personal opinion, 19 and 20 is too young to be getting married. From personal experience, if I would have gotten married at 20, I would have regretted the hell out of it. But I don't know you or your situation very well.
I do know that you'll get some sort of money for being married to someone in the military. Which makes it easier financially, sure. But does it make it easier that your spouse will be away for months at a time? Does it make it easier to stay faithful or not question your decision to get married? Probably not.
If it feels like things are being rushed, then they are. Yoou really sound like you aren't ready at all. My advice would be to not get married. At least not now. Your relationship doesn't turn a magical 180 degrees just because you're married, it won't make it better or easier. I'm not saying break up with the guy either.
Test the waters. See what military life is like. I'm not a military person, married or otherwise, but I have friends who are military wives and they all talk about how hard it is sometimes. It may not be what you want. If it turns out you really do love the guy and you're ok with the military life then you can always get married later.
Trust your gut instinct. The doubts you're having now will probably only be magnified by getting married. Plus, you are 20! This is a time where you should be having fun, not worrying about getting married and waiting for a guy who you may turn out to not be the one.
Just make the best decision for you! Getting married is quite the commitment, and knowing what you want now will avoid pain and regrets later.
Best of wishes to you.
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