Hi there Advicenators.
The last time I logged on here I was 21. Im almost 30 now. Wow I thought I was well put together at that time. I wasn’t. I was looking for validation in being right, or proving that I had the solutions to problems. I didn’t. It makes me think about all the times I went looking for answers online and who was on the other end of that answer. Was it someone like my 21 year old self who didn’t know anything? Be careful out there, friends, and I hope you get the answers you’re looking for.
-Kat
Gender: Female
Location: Washington
Age: 21
MSN: katlzxdcj@live.com
Member Since: June 1, 2007
Answers: 163
Last Update: May 21, 2014
Visitors: 13342
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Hey KatieKat,
I know its been awhile. After that whole Jake bowling thing, things were kinda going back to normal, you know small talk here and there. So than two weeks ago, I kinda just put myself out there and text him "Hey,sorry this is out of the blue and feel free to say no to this, but do you maybe want to get drinks?" Than he "I would love too, but I can't 2nite, because of a midterm due at midnight. When were you thinking of going? So I said how about saturday night? Didn't text back. Than at the I texted him when I got out of work and just so do you want to go when you have time? and said "yes defintely." I said "when?" NOTHING!! So ever since than, he hasn't text me at all. And we recently run into each other, and I kinda go the other way because I'm embarrassed because I feel he just blew me off. Like the other day, I was coming back from dropping of the mail and, he comes out of the door and we look at each other for awhile until I looked away and went back upstairs. And the worst thing is that I still like him. I just wish he could just tell me what's he's thinking and instead me guessing. I just wanted to hang out to get to know each other better, not anything too serious. And if wasn't up for that I wish we would do me, instead of getting my hopes up and not following through. So,my coworkers say I should say something, but I don't even know what to say. I just feel stuck, because I want to move one, but I can't until I get this situated, and I honestly kinda don't want too. UGH i'm a mess! please help me (link)
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I dunno. Kinda sounds like he's keeping you on the back burner. Or is just the most forgetful person ever. Personally I would confront him face to face but it sounds to me like he would tell you something wou want to hear and not the truth. I think you've given him the benefit of the doubt a few times and it's time for him to play his part or time for you to move on.
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I've already reported your site to Google and other search engines. I hope they kick your sad sorry butts off the net, or that Obama does something about sites like this, where any idiot can answer a question like "What's the fastest way to commit suicide?" I'm a reporter doing an expose, and believe me I will expose your site and others who are allowing this type of thing to occur! God help you if a parent finds the site up on their child's computer after such a suggestion is made and the teen carries out their suicide attempt in the exact manner as a teenager told them to do.
Isn't the world cruel enough? Where do you people get your values from? Or do you have any at all?
Pull out a bible and try reading it sometime!
A concerned mom (link)
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Instead of being concerned about the answers these kids are getting on the internet, maybe you should be concerned about why they had to come on to an anonymous advice forum in the first place. Why didn't they go to their parents? What's making them think this way? It's not the internet that's making teens ask these questions, most likely it's something in their lives and maybe they need some support or someone to convince them that life is worth living. As previous advice columnists have stated, if they really wanted to kill themselves, they could. And a quick google search will get them tons and tons of answers of how to do so. They generally come to an advice forum instead of doing that because they want help.
Furthermore, your post comes off as extremely ignorant. If you know anything about how the world works, you know that Obama has more pressing issues these days rather than to sit around and kick every single person off the internet that offends someone else. We have wonderful moderators on this site that make sure that nothing dangerous or inappropriate gets posted. If you really want to make a difference, you'll be a better parent and let your kids know how to talk to you about these issues instead of coming to the internet. If I put myself in the shoes of an insecure teenager contemplating suicide, I wouldn't want to talk to my parents if all they did was spout bible verses at me.
So do your expose. Let all your supposed readers see how parents are so unsupportive of their children that they turn to an anonymous advice forum for help. We're not the villains here, It's ignorant parents such as yourself.
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my mother is currently in jail until February for a financial crime and I am her 14 year old daughter. My dad said to find and write her a card to send her there since her birthday will be coming up. I have no problem doing this but some would say it is a bad thing since I would be supporting a criminal. Personally since her crime wasn't against me I think it is OK to support her in some ways like potentially sending her some books or something. If I do decide to send a card what should I write in it (I am horrible at thinking up more than one line to write) and was thinking of getting one of those jail themed related cards on the internet but then it might seem I am making fun of her, though I know she won't mind being teased like that
also, is this weird, I have talked to my on the phone while she is there and for some reason I feel more comfortable being open with her about anything now then when she was actually here. Any reason why I would feel that way now?
(link)
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Ok, you gotta get the idea out of your head that communicating with your mom is supporting a criminal. It isn't. Yea she broke the law and she's in jail sure, but she's the woman that raised you and it's not like you're sending her letters encouraging her criminal behavior. She's still your mother regardless of what she has done in her life.
I'm not sure what her sense of humor is like, I personally would wait until after the jail thing to start joking about it, but maybe she would be ok with it, I dont know. If you talk to her on the phone, you could probably just write something along the lines of "happy birthday, I miss you and ive been thinking about you. Love you". Just something to let her know that you love her and think about her.
I'm thinking that you might be able to talk to her easier now because now you know something about her. You now know a big thing about her, she is in jail for a financial crime. it's sort of like a big secret that she has shared with you similar when a friend entrusts you with a secret of theirs, you feel more compelled to trust them and be open. It may also just be that talking over the phone is easier than talking in person because neither of you are doing things or distracted by other daily stresses.
Again, it's a unique situation and everyone that's ever experienced it will handle it in a different way. Nothing you do, none of your coping mechanisms, are weird.
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Hey Katiekat,
Still NOTHING! I didn't see him on monday, or wednesday like I usually do. Today at work, he was here but I didn't have a chance to go down and tlk to him, work was crazy. I will see him tomorrow, but I'm seriously about to crack and text him. I know it was a dick move he pulled, but I'm the type of person who doesn't hold grudges and I don't want to. Like I miss talking to him, I know it might make me weak and pathetic but I can't help it I just like him too much. So if I see him tomorrow should I still bring up bowling or act like nothing happened? Should I not let this go, because I still do want to know why. I felt like we were connecting, so i'm just confused on what happened. Was hanging out with me outside of work super scary for him? Or is this a huge hint that he's just wants to be friends? Because he gave me his number? doesn't that usually mean a guy wants hear from a girl? (link)
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Hi, sorry for the delay, my internets have been out of commission. Anyways, yes, I would definitely text him at least. He totally made plans with you and just bailed. If it were me, I would want to know why, at least get some closure even if he doesn't want to continue the friendship. Even if he does just want to be friends, it's not cool to make plans and then just ditch you and ignore you. I would say try and text him, see what comes of it. If he doesn't reply then that's that. You tried and apparently he's not decent enough to even face you to tell you why he's ignoring you, and it isn't worth stressing over.
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Hey Katiekat,
I didn't see him at work, but he was here. When I finally went down, he was gone. So should I just text him and bring up the bowling or just let go and bring something else up ? Should i just text him,and say hey I didn't see all you week? I don't know. i just want to talk to him, and I'm been feeling weird all week. So that's where I am right now. But let know if you can, give me some suggestions because I'm about to crack and text him.... (link)
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Wow, I wish I could say what his deal is. But he gave tou his number, it sounds like you talked well together at work. Yea, I would text him at least for some closure if nothing else. He's being weird about the whole thing, so its definitely not your fault. Hang in there and don't go crazy yet!
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Hey Katiekat,
So bowling was fun, but Jake was a no show. Honestly, i was seriously bummed. Like i tried to have fun, but it was bugging me. NO text or call from him. I told my friends who came wit me and they say that it was rude of him not say anything. Im not pissed or mad, just a little peeved and annoyed that he didnt have the courtsey to say something. I just want to know what happened. Do you think im overreacting? And should i just brush it off and try it again? I see him on monday and honestly i've already started to let it go but i dont know what to do when i see him, help.me. (link)
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Yea, that would definitely annoy me too. He should have said something, or texted, or SOMETHING.
I don't think you're overreacting, your response is totally normal. Next time you see him, I would just say "hey we missed you at bowling" or something like that. See if he actually has a legitimate reason. After him agreeing to go and leading you on like that, you deserve to know!
As far as trying again, I would just see what he has to say about his not showing up at bowling. If it seems like he's sincere then sure. But i don't think it's something you should just brush off.
Again, let me know how it goes.
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18/m
Hello! I was looking for some extra information on either getting a German Shepard or a Lab.
I won't be getting a dog till after college when I am able to afford it and take care of it the way it needs to be. Was just trying to get information on them so I can do my research for my decision in a few years.
I love German Shepard and Labs.
I guess my question is...
Which one is more suitable for an average American? Based on my low income out of college I want to know which one would be better to take care of and to give proper things in it's life.
Thanks! (link)
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Both dogs are great choices. They are both very loyal, smart, obedient breeds.
Like the last answer states, they are big dogs and they will need space to run and play. Labs love the water and activities where they can catch things. They chew a lot. German Shepherds are extremely active and by nature are herders. So an apartment life for them may not be ideal unless you are a very active person that jogs frequently or goes hiking, or that kind of thing. They both eat a ton. My old dog was a lab and he would go through a big bag of dog food in about 2-3 weeks, with feeding 2 times a day. Bags of dog food you can expect to cost at least $20-30, more usually for a better brand. They can become overly protective and territorial if not socialized properly, so if you're gone a lot, that may not be a good idea.
Large breeds are prone to joint disorders like hip dysplasia, and arthritis, more so the German Shepherds. They are also known to be genetically predisposed to canine degenerative myelopathy, which attacks the spine and causes them to lose use of their back legs.
Labs are generally healthier, only because they aren't predisposed to as many things as Shepherds. But it's still possible something may happen.
You may want to get pet insurance when you do get a dog. It's usually about $20 a month. If something does happen, vet bills are expensive and not many vets will work with you.
So all in all, labs and shepherds are both good choices as long as you have the space. They both have the ability to be very loving happy dogs. My personal preference are labs due to the fact that they are less prone to genetic diseases.
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Hey Katiekat,
Im so sorry I keep bothering you but im just super confused. Me and my co-workers and cute guy *Jake are suppose to go bowling tomorrow. So yesterday I was asking him if he was still going and he was like, and he asked me "do you have my number?" I said no, and he gave to me his number and than i said i would text him later. So yesterday i txt him and he was asked what time and were going and i said 5:30 and than he didnt txt me back. So today we had to change the bowling time to 1:30 and i txted him to just let me know and nothing. I know he was here because they're was a meeting on the 2nd floor were i work, and i saw him pass by. So is he not coming? Idk its not the end of world if he doesnt come, I just need for conformation. And is he like intentionally not answering me? Maybe im just thinking way too much? But he gave his number, wouldnt he want to hear from me? Im just gonna let it go and have fun tomorrow (link)
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Hmm, I'm not sure, to be honest. On one hand, he may not have been able to go at the new time and been busy. On the other hand, maybe he isn't interested and doesn't know how to say it. In my experience, guys are bad at being up front. But, it's hard to say with texting, as you can see a text and forget about it, because you're doing something else! My boyfriend does that all the time. Texting is a bad indicator of real feelings or intentions.
Sorry I didn't get back to you earlier, let me know what happened. I think you should talk to him face to face, if he doesn't show up. See what was up. After he agreed to go, you have a right to know!
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Hey you helped so much with your great advice last time, and I was wondering if you could help me again.Okay, so I finally asked the cute guy from work I'm crushing on to hang out with me and some of my co-workers to go bowling and he said yes (yay!) Okay, how am I suppose to flirt with him during bowling? I mean I don't even have his number yet. Were going this saturday, and I'm freaking out because I really don't know how to flirt in a group setting. And I extended the invitation for him to bring his friends or co-workers so you know he wouldn't feel awkward. So that's more pressure. I just want this night to go well in the romantic department, and any help on how to make him notice me during the bowling would be great!
(link)
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Good for you for asking him!
When you go out with 2 groups be sure that both the groups are included. Include him and his friends in conversations that you and your friends/coworkers are having, make sure that they aren't excluded. You don't want to have to socialize between 2 separate groups of people. And plus, everyone will have more fun and feel less awkward that way.
As far as flirting with him goes. If it were me I would pay a little bit more attention to him. Not so that you're ignoring all the rest of the people or fawning all over him, but just so he knows you're interested. I really believe in eye contact for flirting. It's not an obvious flirting thing, but be sure and maintain eye contact when he speaks to you. It really makes it seem like you are listening and interested. Also, talk to him and take an interest in things that involve him as well as you. Some minor physical contact is a good flirting tactic, but may be a little bit much for a group date. For example, a hand on the arm as you laugh, a slight bump with your shoulder to get his attention, something to that effect. You'll be bowling so, you could incorporate a little playful competition with him. Smile at him and most importantly, remember to have fun!
Hope this helps, it always seems like there are so many rules for flirting, but really just be your normal self and have a good time.
Good luck, feel free to ask anything else!
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I had sex with my girl friend before 1 day of mensturation. After one months she is not having mensturation please advice me what to do. (link)
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Depending on how old she is, she will know what to do. Leave it to her. She will either take a pregnancy test a little later on or just wait and see if she starts her period. There's not really anything you can do at this point, just be supportive.
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Do you think 80 tylenol and say about 20 robax and some anti-deppressants will do the job for me? (link)
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Like the last person said, no one here is going to help you kill yourself.
Furthermore, killing yourself is never the answer to anything. We've all got problems. I do understand that we all need some help every once in a while though.
Feel free to ask for some legitimate advice on here and we will all do the best to help you out. If you need to talk to someone, there are people that will listen.
Visit http://www.suicidehotlines.com for some free numbers to call if you need help.
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Okay,
So there's this really cute who works down-stairs at my job, we'll call him Jake. I've introduce myself and we talk, and his been flirting with me. Well i think he has,because usually when we talk he keeps eye contact and smiles. And few weeks ago my department had an open house and Jake came to look around. And came to talk to me, and I was teasing him like he only came for the food, but he was like no i'm came for the smiles and smiled at me. I don't know what to think because I don't want to look much into it, because maybe he has a flirtaous personality, or just being nice. ugh confusing right?! Anyway me and my co-workers were planning on going bowling next saturday, just like casual thing,very fun and I want to invite him but I have no idea how to do without making it sounds like date. And I definitely want him to bring friends or co-workers, to make it not awkward and for him to be comfortable. But I'm already chickening out,and I really don't want to chicken out. I'm just really nervous. I don't know what to do? (link)
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Asking someone out or to hang out can be nerve wracking. But just think, the worst that can happen is he will say no, and you'll move on, and you will regret it if you don't because there's a 50/50 chance that he will say yes!
Hanging out around someone with other friends is the best way to sort of acclimate them to you and what you are like. what I would say is something along the lines of "Hey some coworkers and I are going bowling, we have an open spot if you want to join?"
It's always awkward, and no one feels confident asking someone to hang out. But it'll be worth it if he says yes!
Good luck and best of wishes!
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This is my first time ever trying birth control pills. My doctor said I could become active after the first week unprotected and wouldnt get pregnant. The 2nd week, I did become active and unprotected, now its been about a week and 4 days, (4 days into 2nd week) and I was bleeding a bit. Randomly, not during sex though. I started taking the pills the day my period ended, so I don't think it is my period. Does this sound serious or anything I should worry about? What could it be? (link)
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Whenever there's blood coming out of anywhere on your body, I would always recommend seeing your doctor about it.
Irregular bleeding and spotting is normal when you first start birth control, and can happen on and off while taking birth control. If you smoke, try reducing the amount that you smoke. Cut out aspirin. Also, make sure that you are taking your pills consistently at the same time every day. That will make sure that there is no breakthrough bleeding.
The bleeding should stop eventually but if it doesn't then see your doctor!!
Best wishes.
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My boyfriend hangs out with his friends everyday and he doesn't care if his friends go on his phone.. Well his friends always text me and it's annoying. I don't even know if I'm texting him most of the time. Should I talk to him about it? (link)
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Yes, definitely. It's annoying. Plus, his friends should be respecting his and yours privacy and not going through all his texts. And if they do, then he needs to tell them to back off. I would definitely talk to him about it. As your boyfriend, he should stand up for you.
Best wishes!
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Me and my neighbor started talking again like 3 weeks ago but we only talked like 3 times and then i went to his youth group and he totally ignored me. Should i message him on Facebook or should i just keep ignoring him like he is ignoring me? I was told to just send him "." and say it was on accident. Should i do that? o.O Also i like him and ive known him for about 8 years and we used to be best friends! (link)
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You never know why he's ignoring you. Maybe he's nervous. You should just be straight up. Talk to him like you;ve known him for 8 years. If you just send him "." he will think that you weren't trying to actually talk to him and maybe you don't want to talk to him.
Always be straight forward, don't be shy. A guy will appreciate someone that they can talk to openly much more than a girl that acts aloof or hard to get.
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I'm always having dreams that i'm checking my boyfriends phone & just snooping around. Why does this happen? Or what could it mean? (link)
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FRom what I understand about dreams, they basically help us cope with inner turmoil and subconscious stress. During sleep, our brains process difficult emotions and helps you rationalize them so that you don't overload when you're awake. It takes something complex, and turns it into something a little simpler, that your mind understands.
So based on that, if you're dreaming about snooping through your boyfriends stuff, you may have a subconscious fear that your boyfriend is cheating? None of us can really tell you why you are having the dreams that you are, its your mind processing something that sometimes you don't even know is there!
If it's something that's bothering you, then think hard about what's bothering you, even if something you've only thought about for a fleeting moment. That way your conscious mind can catch up, so to speak.
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Ok this is a random question but what's your favorite soda to drink? (link)
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My favorite sodas are either Sierra Mist natural or Fresca. I don't like the super syrupy sweet taste that other sodas have. They are lighter tasting. I'll drink diet Coke every now and again too.
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I want sex with a female (13 male) (link)
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You probably won't get very good advice if you don't ask a question first!
My advice would be to try again, except in question form!
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I cheated on my Boyfriend. We've been dating for almost 3 and a half years.
I didn't sleep with the guy, we've made out twice (we're both in a relationship). So I suppose, I've cheated twice.
I feel all sorts of emotions, including guilt. I don't know how to deal with it. I don't know how to deal with the temptation and I don't know how I should deal with why I feel all this temptation and a need to cheat in the first place. Dealing with guilt and other emotions is another thing too...
If anyone could offer me any advice on this subject, it'd be much appreciated.
Thanks (link)
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My most immediate advice is, if you love your boyfriend and wish to stay together with him, then stop this. Stop it now.
Making out with this other guy can feel exciting, but in the end, it's never worth it. You feel guilty, and if you were to be caught, most likely, that would be the end of your relationship. All for some kissing.
I've dealt with this before, and the temptation is all about the thrill. It's like you're a little kid all over again, sneaking out of your bedroom window. It's thrilling, yes, but eventually, you'll get caught and the consequences are never good.
You need to cut yourself off from the temptation period. Don't see this other guy, don't talk to him. Making out is one thing, but making out leads to sex, and imagine how horrible you will feel then? What I would say is that, if you can resolve to stop doing this with this guy, then move on with your life, be together with your boyfriend and be happy. Telling him is up to you at that point. If you can't, then it may be time to think about if you really want to be together with your boyfriend in the first place. Maybe it's time to move on?
Take a long hard look at what YOU want. What's going to make you happy? Cheating is hurtful to your boyfriend and if the other guy makes you happy then, be with him. If not then remove yourself from the temptation once and for all!
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How come I always get these terrible, splitting headaches after I cry? Can anyone tell me or explain what the reason might be to me? Please, I don't want to read ''we're not doctors or whatever'', if you know something, I'd really appreciate it ! Thanks!! :) (link)
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It could be due to the tension in your face, neck and shoulders. When you cry hard, your face muscles are usually very tense. Turning your mouth in to a frown, your forehead and eyebrows will most likely be lowered in a scowl. and I don't know about you, but if I'm upset about something or sad, I cry for a half hour to an hour. Try frowning and scowling for that long. It's tiring! Also when you cry hard, you may have muscle convulsions in your abdomen, shoulders and neck. Your head will bob up and down and your neck muscles are supporting your head. So it can be a very physical, straining activity! And of course, when you cry, you start to tear up, and your nose runs. Excessive sniffing or blowing of your nose can cause a headache in the sinus area.
These are just some ideas, but you may want to bring it up to your doc, just in case!
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