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karenR
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Just a couple of things which everyone should know..1) A love relationship is a TWO way thing, you BOTH have to be on the SAME page.. Communication is vital. FACT.
2) You don't need negative people in your life to bring you down, you get enough of that as it is. You need positive people, to raise you higher.. FACT.
3) Believe in yourself, if you start to, everyone else will. So focus on the good things, because that is what you will naturally flaunt.. Which makes everyone focus on the good things! TRUTH.
4) You only live once, so don't screw it up! Make the most of this ONE life! FACT.
5) Life's all about making mistakes, forgiving, letting go, falling in love, making friends, and best of all, LAUGHING OUT LOUD!! ;) Laughter IS the best medicine.. Trust me! ;) FACT.
Got some love life issues? Need a quick self-esteem boost? Confused in a relationship? .... Just ask Venzuela!
advice
Okay, a while ago i was cutting myself over some anxiety problems. No, i wasn't like, trying to kill myself or going for my wrists, it was alot milder than that to try and relieve myself of some distress. I've stopped now because i think it's stupid. Me and my boyfriend got into a really deep conversation and i decided to confide in him and confess what i was doing (dick move i know, am i trying to scare him away?? *sigh*) Anyway, he didn't seem to make a big deal out of it, and when we got into a conversation about it again, he said that he wasn't really checking to see if i was still doing it, and that he wasn't overly freaked out by it and that 'It's just that you have a problem, it's not your fault, it's not anyone's fault'. He is such a wonderful human being and i know that he cares about me and loves me. But because i'm a phsyco bitch, it makes me feel like he didn't really care about it. If someone had told me about it i would at least have discreetly sneaked a peek at their arm to see if there were any new marks. I love him and i just want to be happy with him, but does this mean he isn't really bothered by it? :( I realise i sound slightly attention seeking, but that's not why i told him, i just wanted his support.
Cheers x
You boyfriend does care about you. The fact that he is not giving much attention to it is probably because he is trying to show you indirectly that it's a personal issue, it is for you to heal over by yourself, on your own. He doesn't want to make you feel odd or a victim, he's trying to be cool about it and be accepting. That is love.
Keep talking to him, he sounds like a good person to have.
I hope you have overcome the cutting emotionally. :)
Ask Venzuela
There is guy at work I seen looking at me a couple of times. Both times I was looking down doing something and when I looked up i saw him looking at me as he walked by. One of the times when passed by he looked back at me. Why is he looking at me? I like him should I go up and talk to him?
You clearly seem like the take charge person, which is good, especially at a time like this. He probably is a little shy, so if you are brave enough to walk over to him and just say hi, start a conversation on anything and everything, then go ahead! I'm sure he'll thank you later as you were the first to start things going!
Try it out, you'll never know until you at least try! ;)
Ask Venzuela
Well, I have been thinking about my ex [ A 1 ] still , but I've mannaged to stay away for a while I don't know if I should text him because if he and I were still together today would've been 2 Months , but we broke up so I guess not . Well I did start liking someone else, actually recently, but he was someone I use to like a while back the recent guy [ A 2 ] . I dont know if it's wrong for someone to move on so fast I haven't really talked to [ A 1 ] in about a month, it's as if we are complete strangers . I do get those days where I just wanna text him but I don't because I know how to stay on the Down Low and he is someone I won't forget just like nothing , yes I do miss [ A 1 ] but [ A 2 ] is like a new start but I do like him he told me he feels the same , but he is an 8th grader I do not care if he is younger it's just that that people will talk and we wont be able to see eachother and that's what I think is really holding me back , yes I do think he is cutee and everything but [ A 1 ] is still in the picture . I would go for it with [ A 2 ] but I gues I am scared to let go of [A 1.]. But good thing is that [ a 1 ] isnt going to the same High School as me and I can forget about him faster then I've ever forgotten about anyone because time is the best medicen yet . Well, well my question[s] are basicly ,
Is it wrong for someone to move on so fast . ?
Is it right to like some one else while still having so many feelings for someone else . ?
Should I just start getting closer with [A 2] even if he is an 8 th grader . ?
Firstly, no. It is not wrong for someone to move as fast as you are willing to. Let's face the facts, you are still young, your last relationship lasted for less than 2 months, therefore is not a big deal if you move on now. It is probably healthier for you too. You broke up with A1 for, it was obviously for an important reason, whatever it may be. So just move on, A2 likes you too. You could start getting closer to A2 as a friend, and then see how it goes. Don't jump into anything too fast though, starting off as friends is a good way to understand what you could be possibly getting into, relationship wise. Take it slow, and see how it feels. The issue with people judging, unfortunately, there will always people in the world judging you, me, everyone.
If it feels right, go for it!
Ask Venzuela!
I feel like all the nicknames for my boyfriend are too common and so I thought I wouldask you if anybody could help me with a list of cute names to call your boyfriend? No matter whether it's one name or 100 I thank you for helping me! Thank you
Sweetheart, no one knows your boyfriend as much or as well as YOU, or feels what YOU feel as much as YOU! In order to get a really good nickname for your boyfriend, it should just come about. Don't force it or rush it. Is there some way you identify him with? Be it a sport or anything? A memory that you both share dearly or even a stupid random word you both came up with one day when you were hanging out together. I believe names mean a whole lot more, especially nicknames because that is something only two people understand, at first, until friends start asking why he's called that or whatever..
SO I suggest you think about something that HE is special to you for or makes him special as a person, and it doesn't even have to make sense, that is the beauty of nicknames and having a sweet memory behind it. Names like 'baby, babe, honey etc.' are SO common.. Add some spice to the relationship, and he will remember you for long, for calling him that cute name that was linked to an awesome memory you both shared! ;)
Ask Venzuela
i've had a crush on this guy for a while. recently i've gotten more of the courage to start texting him first. we've known each other for about four years now. well we started talking and he broke his wrist playing hockey and told me he's getting surgery on friday. i was like you need to drink more milk! and he was like i drink alot. and then i was like well maybe you should be better at hockey and then you wont get hit (this was totally a joke, he's a great hockey player, d1 colleges want him to play for them) and he was like thanks.. and i was like you know i'm kidding. come on now you know i wouldnt be serious. i never am.. how long have you known me? you should know this. and he was like haha ok calm down. i think this kind of gave it away that i have a crush, do you think? urgh i seem so worried that he would be mad. i feel dumb. and then i was like you obviously don't know me! and he was like of course i do.
do you think i gave anything away? why do i always sound so dumb when i talk to him!!
You didn't give it away and I don't think you sound 'dumb' either.. It's playful flirting, it's harmless.. Usually. So I say continue flirting with the guy, as long as the both of you are having fun, it's all good.. :)
Ask Venzuela
My boyfriend and I have been dating for a month now and i feel like its the same old stuff. I go over his house, we make out, he might feel up my shirt or something.. and thats it. i'm not interested in any type of sex so i'm wondering how i can change things up. i really have no ideas. i mean we do just hang out sometimes and like make cupcakes like last week but its usually the same. Thanks!
Honestly, you guys seem quite shallow. If you want this relationship to be deeper, more meaningful for the both of you then I suggest you start doing a little more talking and less doing.. Since you both are comfortable with each other on a physical level, it is probably time to work on your emtional closeness. So maybe talking about things that you don't normally tell other people, things that reall get to you, just feel comfortable about talking about anything. And some things for you to do would probably be romantic things, if you're the romantic; maybe picnic at the park, lying on the grass under the moonlit sky or the sunlit sky, just being with each other and talking about whatever and just being close. I think that would definately give your relationship more essence than right now!
Touch each other on a deeper level, a non-physical level. ;)
Ask Venzuela
14/f
no one's ever treated me like this before, and it's just small little things, but it's getting on my nerves.
He's basically avoiding me.
A couple weeks ago I met this guy, he seemed like a bit of a jerk but I talked with him pleasantly enough, but then he said he could mistake me for a boy.. well, that's where that prospective friendship ended. I didn't get mad, I just didn't say anything at all and moved onto a different conversation.
We don't have any classes together but during passing periods when we pass each other I've caught him looking at me a couple times, and he always looks away really quickly and seems to disappear. Like he's on the run and avoiding me.
Just the other day I needed into the school after hours (long story), so I ran up to him and said, "Hey, wait, let me come in too." And he is suddenly like 3 feet ahead of me holding the door open a bit and starts to say "yeah", but me being the confident, quick-paced girl I am, I walked right in, said "thanks" and went off to get my brother. Later I needed to come back and he was blocking the door from his friend, and I start to say, "Excuse me," when all the sudden he's on the other freaking side of the room, door unblocked.
I've never been avoided like this before. It's rare that I don't get along with someone. I never said ONE mean thing to him, but he calls me a boy and suddenly avoids me.... what the crap?
my friend says he could be scared of me, but how could that be? I'm a good half foot shorter than him, and he can lift a guy his own size so he could probably freakin break me in half.
kids love me, so I'm obviously not scary...
It's just bugging me to not know why someone is avoiding me.
He's probably just being childish or immature. Ignore him and live your life. He's just being silly. If he's ignoring you or anything, that's HIS problem, NOT YOURS! So move on.. You and your friends, and everyone that is worth caring about knows that you're not a scary person or whatever, so don't be bothered by this one guy who calls you a boy and then avoids you. Who cares about him!
Ask Venzuela
For Halloween I want me and my boyfriend to like have matching costumes. I was thinking Jack and Sally from nightmare before christmas (his favourite film).
But is there any others we could go as? :]
What about "Bonnie& Clyde".. :)
Ask Venzuela
m/16. yesterday i smoked with my friends and i was with some girls. what are some good ways to start and keep a conversation going
Ask lots of questions, but make sure it doesn't end up like some kind of interview. So once you've asked a question and she's answered, elaborate on her answer.. Carry on from her answer. Like if you asked her, for how long has she been smoking, and she says 5 months, you can say, "oh.. So how many do you smoke a day?" or something like that. I don't know much about smoking as I'm not a smoker, but just remember to make the converstaion flow, be open and collecting. Have an open mind and whatever is thrown at you CAN BE worked with! ;)
Ask Venzuela
Okay so I never really care about guys. i get with a few here & ther ebut that was it. never really like the whole relationship thing.
then i met this kid, jim. we started talking, and i really started to like him for some reason.. anyway. we went out, and he ended up cheating on me with his ex, but he said that he needed to get with her one more time to realize he was completely over her.
so i said we can still talk but we're not going out. so we kept talking. about a month later, he admitted to having sex with her but he didnt expect it to happen it just did. again i said whatever, its not like we are together.
we are still talking, but everyone is telling me that i can do so much better and that i shouldnt be with him, hes an asshole and all this stuff. i just dont know, i really like this kid. & I know my friends dont want to see me get hurt. but i wanna keep talking to him.
i dont know if i should keep talking to him, or listen to my friends. I just dont wanna regret anything in the long run.
sorry its long, i just dont know who else to ask adivce lol.
You have to understand that right now, YOU are NOT HIS first priority! You need someone who will see you as his first priority! Yes, keep talking, STAY as friends only. Don't expect him to come back to you or anything. To avoid disappointment, it is always best to not expect much. So just stay as friends, listen to yiour friends as well and move on.. Go out and meet other guys, flirt a bit and just have a good time. If guys aren't a major importance in your life, then, spend some quality time with your girlfriends! Concentrate on yourself.
Ask Venzuela
there is a new girl at my school and she joined my group of friends. she has my exact same name which i have a very unique name so its awkward, she is my same hieght except shes super skinny and very outgoing and friendly and is so pretty. she gets along soo good with my boyfriend and best friend and is exactly like them so they talk about alot of stuff i dont understand. i used to spend every single day with my best friend and boyfriend. and now she is with my bestfriend everyday so i am pushed out n never get to see her n they ditch me. then shes always talking about everything with my boyfriend n she has more inside jokes with both of them than i do n always touches both of them n even held my boyfriend he always talks about her but says their just friends. i havent hungout with my best friend just me n her since the other girl came into the picture even tho we used to daily.. im just jelous :( this is literally the first time iv ben jelous so i have no idea how to deal with it usually nothing bothers me.. they both deny that shes getting between us but its so obvious what do i do
Well firstly, you are right.. I would be jealous too! You have got to remind your boyfriend and your best friend that you guys reqally are NOT spending time with each other anymore! They probably are so sunken with this girl that they haven't noticed that they were leaving you out. And if a best friend doesn't understand where you are coming from or see your point of view, then.. Is she really your best friend after-all? As for your boyfriend, I suggest you put your foot down. YOU are his girlfriend, he has to spend some amount of time with you, maybe even more than the new girl. Communicate with him. Let him know where you are coming from and WHY you feel insecure about this, it is ok to feel vulnerable and insecure with your boyfriend. It only bring the two of you closer as you guys are both touched on a deeper level.
They seem to have forgotten what was once there, you, so you have to remind them and remind them that your friendships with the two of them are in serious trouble, and you all have to work on it together. They have to come back to reality as it seems like they are avoiding the truth. See how it goes!
Ask Venzuela
Dear Venzuela,
The man who asking you these sexually graphic questions about your hand and being tied up is a troll. He has asked hundreds of female advicenators the same question. When a young women takes the bait, he follows up with more and more graphic requests. If you need me to give you some links to some of the dozens of girls he has contacted here, with the exact same stories and compliments he's telling you, I can do that.
He has been banned before for this behavior.
He will be gone again shortly.
Please, please, please, keep yourself safe and do not play a part in his fetish. You are being used. Please, reject his question and do not contact him on any other site. Men like this can be dangerous. That's why we ban them from this site.
Please.
oh my.. Thank you for warning me! Well i deleted his newest question because he was asking for me to call him up and read out a scene for him.
Yeah sure, please send some links.
Thank you for letting me know. How did you know he was asking me these questions? Are you part of the advicenators team? :) thank you once again.
I'm 17/m
All of a sudden, I realized that I had feelings for my really good friend (17/f). I'm pretty sure she likes me too, there's a lot of touching and ass grabbing and stuff like that. However, I don't know if
a) I SHOULD make a move and
b) if I should, then how
She goes to my school and normally I make it a policy not to date or hook up with girls from my school but I can't seem to get her out of my head.
You guys seem to do a bit of flirting! And if you two are good friends, you probably will know if she likes you.. So why don't you just ask her? May sound a little but crazy, but how else will you know? Plus it will mean quite a bit if YOU ask her instead of getting someone else to, you know? It shows that you care and you have the courage to ask her, not many people do. And the good thing about you two being good friends is that, if you happen to be wrong, which I doubt, you both can just laugh it off and forget about it, because that is what good friends do! They are real with each other.
Ask Venzuela
My boyfriend says he wants space, yet he has been calling me and texting me an we used to live together so when he needs something he texts me an calls me to come over my parents house to get it, like the slightest thing like today his trimmer and to show me his new dog, like the whenever i ask him or other people ask him what we arehe says he doesnt know yet he needs time & space, okayyy so why if you need time & space do u keep calling me and texting me an then why would he want me to tell him what i thought of this new dog he got? im so confused please i need advice
Everyone is different, and for you to find out where he's coming from, the only way is to ask him straight up. Let him know where you're coming from, because what you've said is true. I just wonder if he even realises what he's asked for, I suggest you remind him about this. Tell him what you think 'space' means to you, because it could differ between you and him. Make sure both of you are on the same page, if you're not. Then, talk about it and let each other know where you're both coming from.
Ask Venzuela
okay so i'm supposed to be going to the movies with this guy i like. it's not definitely planned, but i mentioned i wanted to the see the movie really badly, and he said he'd go with me.
just like that.
as of now, i believe it's just us, but i don't know what to think of it.
like, we're friends, but i like him, but i'm not sure if this is just as friends, or if maybe he wants something more?
It's as friends. It's always best not to expect too much of such a situation as you don't want to feel stupid later or something. SO just relax, and think of it as a friendly thing. Nothing more. If he wants something more, I'm sure he'll let you know, maybe ask you out. Other than that, you can't think too much about this, it's just as friends.
Ask Venzuela
my boyfriend gets like upset and he loses self esteem cause he hasn't gotten me to climax yet...i tell him it still feels good and i explain that alot of girls have it hard like that and its not him, and i tell him hes good. but unfortunetly thats not enough confidence boost for him...so what can i do to make him feel really good about himself? (preferably sexually but ill take anything) thankyouu.
Sexual self-esteem should have the foundation of trust and love, I reckon. And so until you have that, it will always be pretty shaky. He's got to know that although he can't get you to climax (apparently, only 1 in every 10 guys CAN make a girl climax/orgasm), he's still got you and your love with each other has nothing to do with anything sexual. Just a piece of my mind. :)
Ask Venzuela
this may be quite long, but i will definately return the favor to anyone who is willing to read:) i'm 19 years old, second year in college and am doing online (due to ceratin issues). i've known this kid joe for about 5 years. i've always had a crush on him but we became more of friends than lovers. joe will be turning 18 in january, making him a senior in high school. yeahhhh.. age difference i know. he's the only younger guy ive ever liked though and it seems so different because he is so mature. he is the stud of his high school though.. captain of the hockey football and baseball team. all the girls go crazy over him because hes absolutely hilarious and not afraid to do anything and well absolutely GORGEOUS!! welll thats pratically opposite of me. around my girl friends, i'm the craziest of us all and not afriad to be goofy because they know im like that are are use to it but around joe, i'm a conservative girl. i have gotten bettter though. me and joe flirt basically everytime we see each other. he is a little player though.. just figured this out a couple months ago. so i realized that i would rather be his best friend than just another girl..right? the thing is that my cousin is joes next door neighbor and my cousin is the same grade as joe and me and my cousin hangout all the time..well on the weekends. it sucks though because i always go to my cousins hoping that MAYBE ill see joe but he's always on the go with sports and parties. he gets invited to everything, obviously. i feel a bit like a loser hanging out with my cousin in highschool on a saturday night doing nothing while hes out living the life going to parties and hanging out with everyone. i know some of the girls in joes grade and i have hung out with them a couple times and everytime i hung out with them and joe... they're all over joe and of course joe loves it but then i sit there looking stupid for not being all over him fighting for his attention because thats not how i am. me and joe have just gotten really distant over the past year. i see him maybe once a month... we dont text anymore. it makes me really sad. i feel like hes going forth with his life and leaving me behind..i know he cares about me though its just that hes a guy and isnt into the whole texting you first having a long conversation kinda thing you know? hes also going to play hockey next year for a D1 college so i will definately not see him anymore so i want to spend as much time as i can with him now but that doesnt seem to be going well. i dont ask him to hangout alot because hes always busy doing something and plus.. i wouldnt know what to do anyway. ugh just all this running through my mind..i dont know what to do
Firstly, I'm sorry but you have to get over him and move on. Here's why, if someone doesn't feel the same way as you do about them, it usually isn't worth it. He's all young and loving the attention he's getting. By you watching from afar and not moving on, you're only hurting yourself. You've got to understand that, he will be moving away and so you are going to have to move on. I do understand the fact that you have feelings for the guy and you want to spend some time with him. You can't force someone. But what you can do is give them a chance, so ask him if he'd like to hang out with you one day soon, before he leaves. If he is someone worthy of your time, he'd make time for you, and instead of hanging with the shallow girls with no essence and who are only after his physical appearance, he'd pick someone deeper and with genuine essence to spend his quality time with, you.
He's living his life like there is no tomorrow. You should too. You're only wasting time right now. You only live once. Live wisely.
Remember, you are young. You got so much ahead of you. Quit wasting time on people that you find significant in your life when they don't feel the same. Embrace who you are as a person. If he doesn't see you as who you are, then what good is he? Is he worth your time and energy? He's a good friend, I respect that, good and lasting friendships come both ways! ;) It's not just you who has to keep the friendship going, he has to do his 50% part too. And do respect Joe as well, he's all living-the-moment/life, like how you said. Just make sure he knows that you offered him time to hangout and catch up. That's all you can do, and all you are going to do.
Ask Venzuela
Hi,
I am a 17f. Theres this guy I met and have known for several months. He is 18 and he is the absolute sweetest guy ever, which is why I like him. We have hung out a few nights and cuddled a little. The problem is, I know he has another girl that he feels strongly for. He told me about her and hes told me he loves me, but its not the same love that he has for this other girl. Then he tells me later that he just loves me. He also said he wants to kiss me to see if theres 'a spark', I didnt think that would be right so I didnt let him. I dont want to get closer to him, expecially knowing he has another girl. Everyone thinks we are dating and I keep telling them NO WE ARE NOT. I think I really like him, Im just unsure. I think hes unsure as well. He makes me feel like I have never felt before, but I can't help but think that he will end up ditching me or I might find someone better.. you know? I told him we should just be friends..deep inside I want it to be more;I am sure he does too but..yeah. I have never dated before, cuz all the other guys I know are losers and just want sex. I want it to be right. I am not the kind of girl that dates just anybody for the hell of it. Please tell me what you think, Just be friends or.. ?
You are right to feel unsure. Who knows if he'll stay with you or 'ditch' you, like how you put it. You got to lay it down for this guy, he make you feel like the most special person or like you've never felt before, I understand that. But that isn't exactly going to shield you from any heartbreak later on, will it?! If he wants to be with you, he has to leave the other girl.. He can't be selfish, and have two special girls, it is wrong! And he should know better. The whole idea of kissing to see if there is a 'spark', is absolute child-play! Why should he trust a 'spark' to tell him whether he likes or loves you, he should know for sure, and deep down in his heart that he does. If he does love you, it has to be serious and real. Love isn't just a game, it is serious and he has to know that!
You both have to be on the same page. And for a healthy relationship, everything has to be clear, serious and real. It isn't a game when it deals with other people. Give him an ultimatum! Whichever he picks, be grateful. If he doesn't pick you, know that it was for your own good, you wouldn't want to be left after a couple of months, only to find out that he still likes his ex. You are smart to keep the distance.
Don't be afraid of finding someone better than him, that will only mean something better, right!?
Ask Venzuela
I'm sixteen. This guy and I have been talking. He happens to be a player who thinks I'm some bad girl.lol I actually happen to be a very very good girl. We hung out, and he thought he was going to get some but that didn't happen, so he started acting like an ass hole to me around his friends and my friends. I decided that i'm going to do my best to stop thinking about him in that more than a friend way, but teach him a lesson while i'm at it. For example, he called to apologise, and i told him how i felt about what he did being messed up, and then telling him i had to go. Basically now, everytime he talks we talk for a second, literally, because i've been getting him off the phone quick with all kinds of excuses. This has all worked so well :D lol....because now he is constantly calling and texting me, but i'm still giving him the same treatment, which has got him all crazy because of the way he naggs. So, he asked me a question before I hung up today "do you still like me", and i told him I had to leave. Then he said "when can i call you". then i told him in two hours, and then he said "why not 20 minutes", and i told him, 2 HOURS. that was it...i'm stuck right now, because I want to keep him spinning,but i'm not sure if what i plan to say will work. I wanted to tell him "maybe" or "kind of".....but what do you guys think i shoudl have as a "mind game" answer.
First of all, DO NOT say 'MAYBE' or 'KIND OF'!! Those basically mean yes. So go for something more playful, maybe.. "What made you think I liked you? You were an asshole that night! Not exactly my cup-of-tea!" or, if you do like him and want something a little more in the future, say, "Only if you want me to! But I must confess asshole-ness isn't my thing!" He has got to know that being an asshole to you is not acceptable, and it isn't something you like, obviously!
Sounds like you got this guy round your pinky!! :D
Have fun!
Ask Venzuela!
What do guys think of girls watching porn? is it a total turn off or on? or neither?
It varies with guys, some find it a total turn on, probably because he does too, so he feels there is a sexual similarity between the two of you, I know a couple of guys who really like that, for some reason besides the one I mentioned. And some just find it a turn off, because it is their thing and not suppose to be a girls. It is probably due to the reason that many guys watch porn as a form of pleasure (imagining the situation/putting themselves into the scene), thus they find it gross for a girl to do it. But it all comes down to you, if you want to, watch it! Why should you start changing or fixing your personal life because of the opposite sex. It is your life and this is YOUR decision.
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