|
Is He Worth It?
Hi,
I am a 17f. Theres this guy I met and have known for several months. He is 18 and he is the absolute sweetest guy ever, which is why I like him. We have hung out a few nights and cuddled a little. The problem is, I know he has another girl that he feels strongly for. He told me about her and hes told me he loves me, but its not the same love that he has for this other girl. Then he tells me later that he just loves me. He also said he wants to kiss me to see if theres 'a spark', I didnt think that would be right so I didnt let him. I dont want to get closer to him, expecially knowing he has another girl. Everyone thinks we are dating and I keep telling them NO WE ARE NOT. I think I really like him, Im just unsure. I think hes unsure as well. He makes me feel like I have never felt before, but I can't help but think that he will end up ditching me or I might find someone better.. you know? I told him we should just be friends..deep inside I want it to be more;I am sure he does too but..yeah. I have never dated before, cuz all the other guys I know are losers and just want sex. I want it to be right. I am not the kind of girl that dates just anybody for the hell of it. Please tell me what you think, Just be friends or.. ?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
You're gettin' played girl. Walk away before this guy uses up anymore of your energy, and start learning to trust your instincts, sounds like you have some good ones.
]
You are right to feel unsure. Who knows if he'll stay with you or 'ditch' you, like how you put it. You got to lay it down for this guy, he make you feel like the most special person or like you've never felt before, I understand that. But that isn't exactly going to shield you from any heartbreak later on, will it?! If he wants to be with you, he has to leave the other girl.. He can't be selfish, and have two special girls, it is wrong! And he should know better. The whole idea of kissing to see if there is a 'spark', is absolute child-play! Why should he trust a 'spark' to tell him whether he likes or loves you, he should know for sure, and deep down in his heart that he does. If he does love you, it has to be serious and real. Love isn't just a game, it is serious and he has to know that!
You both have to be on the same page. And for a healthy relationship, everything has to be clear, serious and real. It isn't a game when it deals with other people. Give him an ultimatum! Whichever he picks, be grateful. If he doesn't pick you, know that it was for your own good, you wouldn't want to be left after a couple of months, only to find out that he still likes his ex. You are smart to keep the distance.
Don't be afraid of finding someone better than him, that will only mean something better, right!?
Ask Venzuela
]
Hey.
I absolutely understand where you are coming from. So far I'd say that you have done very good in keeping your distance and not wanting to get too involved.
I've been in this situation and all I can tell you is that you have to either let him go, or deicide if you are willing to live with the knowledge that no matter how much time and energy you are devoting to him, he is only putting half an effort into you. Is that the kind of relationship you want?
I'm not going to assume that this guy is a jerk or a player because maybe he is genuinely confused about who he would rather be with. I would say that you need to be very straightforward with him and tell him how you feel. Tell him how you feel about him and tell him that you don't feel comfortable with him loving you both and seeing you both at the same time. Tell him that if he can't be without her, then he can't be with you.
I don't know if you've ever seen the movie The Notebook, but situations like this always remind me of that movie.
I think that only you can decide if this is worth it or not. Talk to him and if what he says isn't what you want to hear, then let him go or just be friends. I know that him being a sweet guy makes it harder for you to let him slip away, but if you know that you deserve better, then you will have the strength to let him go so that you can one day find the right person for you. I wish you the best of luck.
Please take care and know that you deserve only the best. <3
]
your just like me, doesnt just date anybody and if this was me i wouldnt date him..i mean he has another girl on the other side so hes pretty much playing both of you.hes manipulating you to think he likes you, maybe he does but who know maybe you two get together and another girl comes along that he likes hell do the samething he did to you to another girl while being with you..think of the other girl hes with dont be the other woman its not fair on her..even if he breaks up with her or lets her go shell still try get him back and hell still wanna be with her especially when he sees her with another guy..i say dont do it but thats only me and my opinion
]
No, he isn't. You don't need to kiss someone, to know if there is a spark. He is just stringing you along, and may also just be in it to get some from you. If he has another girl that he lieks & he isn't dumping her for you, then no he isn't worth it at all. He may be confused about his feelings and is obviously attracted to you. You're in high school, there are plenty of other decent guys, and defintitly ones better then him. It seems like your number 2, and you should find a guy, who wants you as number 1.
I wouldn't even bother being friends with the guy.
]
He's dragging you around by the nose.
If he can't see that "spark" just by being with you, then there is none.
A guy who wants you to share his heart with another is not a guy to waste another precious moment of your time on.
31/f
]
You know, we do have instincts that work very well! Follow yours here. You know he isn't going to ditch the other girl. He may be a very nice guy, but that doesn't mean he doesn't have it in his head that you will have sex with him. Some guys are just a little smoother about it than others.
Stay friends, but find some other guy to date. That could mean backing off the cuddling with Romeo. If they think you are dating him, they won't ask you out.
Good luck.
]
Definitely stay friends.
He is absolutely sure of what he wants, and that is the other girl. He's made it clear from the start that he loves her. If he loves her, that is a great reason not to get involved with him.
I think you were right not to kiss him. It could potentially ruin things for him with this other girl, and it'd make you look bad.
Just stay friends with him. It's not worth your time if nothing is going to happen. Besides, there are other guys out there that you'll find & be pleased with.
]
Trust me, he's putting on a mask for you. Every girl has been through this. The guy will say and do anything (pay for your meal, etc), but knowing he has another girl on the side, he would just do the same to you if you guys ever got close. In the long run it's not worth it, because then you will end up developing more feelings for him. You said that you never dated before, date a lot more to find the prince, but this is a frog, and he will say anything to get you into his pants.
]
i'm going to be blunt. it's not worth it. why do people date? to find the one they're going to spend the rest of their lives with. Chances are, you two aren't getting married. He is not unsure, he has made his feelings clear to you that he loves the other girl. Stick with just being friends. You may really like him but you're 17. i promise you will have plenty more guys. this is just one of many. good luck.
]
More Questions: |