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living his life to the fullest.. leaving me though?
this may be quite long, but i will definately return the favor to anyone who is willing to read:) i'm 19 years old, second year in college and am doing online (due to ceratin issues). i've known this kid joe for about 5 years. i've always had a crush on him but we became more of friends than lovers. joe will be turning 18 in january, making him a senior in high school. yeahhhh.. age difference i know. he's the only younger guy ive ever liked though and it seems so different because he is so mature. he is the stud of his high school though.. captain of the hockey football and baseball team. all the girls go crazy over him because hes absolutely hilarious and not afraid to do anything and well absolutely GORGEOUS!! welll thats pratically opposite of me. around my girl friends, i'm the craziest of us all and not afriad to be goofy because they know im like that are are use to it but around joe, i'm a conservative girl. i have gotten bettter though. me and joe flirt basically everytime we see each other. he is a little player though.. just figured this out a couple months ago. so i realized that i would rather be his best friend than just another girl..right? the thing is that my cousin is joes next door neighbor and my cousin is the same grade as joe and me and my cousin hangout all the time..well on the weekends. it sucks though because i always go to my cousins hoping that MAYBE ill see joe but he's always on the go with sports and parties. he gets invited to everything, obviously. i feel a bit like a loser hanging out with my cousin in highschool on a saturday night doing nothing while hes out living the life going to parties and hanging out with everyone. i know some of the girls in joes grade and i have hung out with them a couple times and everytime i hung out with them and joe... they're all over joe and of course joe loves it but then i sit there looking stupid for not being all over him fighting for his attention because thats not how i am. me and joe have just gotten really distant over the past year. i see him maybe once a month... we dont text anymore. it makes me really sad. i feel like hes going forth with his life and leaving me behind..i know he cares about me though its just that hes a guy and isnt into the whole texting you first having a long conversation kinda thing you know? hes also going to play hockey next year for a D1 college so i will definately not see him anymore so i want to spend as much time as i can with him now but that doesnt seem to be going well. i dont ask him to hangout alot because hes always busy doing something and plus.. i wouldnt know what to do anyway. ugh just all this running through my mind..i dont know what to do
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Maybe you have this turned around a little. Maybe he's not so much the one that's moving forward. Maybe its you and you just don't see it. Two years age different is no a lot, however, the gap between high school and college is huge, as I'm sure you've figured out by now. You are maturing. You're working toward something, a goal, a future. This automatically puts some distance b/w you two, since he is still in "senior in high school" mode. He may have sensed this and is just naturally pulling away, as do many friends as they age and spread out in different directions. Don't feel like a loser. Its cool that you have a cousin you like to hang out with. You're not being crazy, getting into trouble, having random hook-ups and all the worries that go with that type of activity. It is difficult to realize you are drifting apart from people who were once so important in your day to day life, but as you continue to mature and move forward, you will begin to find others who share your goals and priorities and these people will become your support. I know you feel a little hurt and lonely right now, but I promise you, these are just growing pains. Its ok to miss what you once had, but don't allow yourself to be ruled by that. Look at it as part of the growing process. In the meantime, are there any groups or clubs around that you could join? Anything you like to do, reading, games, sports, whatever. Joining a group of people who are into the same things you are is a great way to meet new friends. You already have something in common to share, and springboard a new friendship off of. I know you will be fine. I was once like you, and I wondered if I was a loser because I wasn't out partying on the weekends like my other "friends", but as I continued to push through college, I developed a whole new group of friends (guys and girls) who were just like me, and they are my friends to this day. It will happen to you too. Hang in there and don't be jealous. Trust me... what do you think he's going to do next year when high school is finished and the parties are over? Its only temporary for him, you're working on something more permanent, which is why I think YOU'RE the one moving on with your life, even if it doesn't feel like it right now. Good luck to you! You'll be great!
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Firstly, I'm sorry but you have to get over him and move on. Here's why, if someone doesn't feel the same way as you do about them, it usually isn't worth it. He's all young and loving the attention he's getting. By you watching from afar and not moving on, you're only hurting yourself. You've got to understand that, he will be moving away and so you are going to have to move on. I do understand the fact that you have feelings for the guy and you want to spend some time with him. You can't force someone. But what you can do is give them a chance, so ask him if he'd like to hang out with you one day soon, before he leaves. If he is someone worthy of your time, he'd make time for you, and instead of hanging with the shallow girls with no essence and who are only after his physical appearance, he'd pick someone deeper and with genuine essence to spend his quality time with, you.
He's living his life like there is no tomorrow. You should too. You're only wasting time right now. You only live once. Live wisely.
Remember, you are young. You got so much ahead of you. Quit wasting time on people that you find significant in your life when they don't feel the same. Embrace who you are as a person. If he doesn't see you as who you are, then what good is he? Is he worth your time and energy? He's a good friend, I respect that, good and lasting friendships come both ways! ;) It's not just you who has to keep the friendship going, he has to do his 50% part too. And do respect Joe as well, he's all living-the-moment/life, like how you said. Just make sure he knows that you offered him time to hangout and catch up. That's all you can do, and all you are going to do.
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