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Question Posted Tuesday October 6 2009, 7:28 pm

My boyfriend says he wants space, yet he has been calling me and texting me an we used to live together so when he needs something he texts me an calls me to come over my parents house to get it, like the slightest thing like today his trimmer and to show me his new dog, like the whenever i ask him or other people ask him what we arehe says he doesnt know yet he needs time & space, okayyy so why if you need time & space do u keep calling me and texting me an then why would he want me to tell him what i thought of this new dog he got? im so confused please i need advice

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K3587 answered Thursday October 8 2009, 10:45 pm:
The info I am given is that you are 18, so I'll assume that this is correct, and your boyfriend is the same age. Having once been a 18 year old boy, and being the inherit pessimist I am, as well as having been a terrible boyfriend in the past, I have come to what I believe to be the most likely conclusion.

Your "boyfriend" is cheating on you.

Allow me to explain. "Time and space" is his way of saying "I've been having luck with other girls and I don't want you around when they're here." Him texting and calling and wanting you around is his way of saying "I struck out today but I don't want to be alone so please come to me."

How can you confirm? When you notice he's not trying to contact you at all, try and contact him. He'll probably shoot you down. Now, I could be terribly wrong; you know him a lot better than I do. But I know how guys his age think sometimes, and I used to do the same thing. The fact that you used to live together only helps solidify my reasoning. After living with my girlfriend and subsequently moving out, I would seek out other girls, but use my ex as a last resort to keep from being alone. It's sad and pathetic, and I'm glad I'm past that stage, but I'm not the only one who has been there.

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VeNzUeLa answered Wednesday October 7 2009, 6:23 am:
Everyone is different, and for you to find out where he's coming from, the only way is to ask him straight up. Let him know where you're coming from, because what you've said is true. I just wonder if he even realises what he's asked for, I suggest you remind him about this. Tell him what you think 'space' means to you, because it could differ between you and him. Make sure both of you are on the same page, if you're not. Then, talk about it and let each other know where you're both coming from.

Ask Venzuela

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person43 answered Tuesday October 6 2009, 10:26 pm:
well, it sounds like he does not know what he wants at all. He likes to keep strict tabs on you obviously, and that is why he calls and texts and wants to see you all the time. he is probably scared you might move on. it is pretty silly that he says he needs space and then his actions show the complete opposite. he maybe is afraid of where the relationship was going and thought he needed time away from you and is now realizing that he does not really. If i were you i would stop seeing him and answering his calls. if he asks why, just tell him you were respecting his wants of time and space from you. tell him that when he is ready, and he actually comes out and says it seriously, then you will be there for him, but you are sick of being jerked around and your head being played with. good luck

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PurdyBurdy answered Tuesday October 6 2009, 8:30 pm:
It sounds like he wants his space but still wants to know you're available at any time to take care of his any and every need. Next time he calls, ignore it til the next day. Don't seem too available. Dont let him think you're doing nothing but sitting around and waiting for him, because he will take advantage of it.

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sobeg answered Tuesday October 6 2009, 7:57 pm:
Im going to be honest with you..hes confused he misses you but at the same time he wants freedom. Hes afraid of being alone but at the same time he wants to explore something new he thinks he can find something better but you and i both know you are the best thing that has happened to him. to a certain point hes playing come to papa. This is my opinion dont let it get to you.. you be strong girl i know you can! let him decide what he wants right?? you teach him you are a woman by letting him be the one to look for you dont ignore him or make him beg ...thats vengefull and can lead to a lot of future problems just let him look for you and when he asks hey i need to talk tell him ok tell me whats on your mind? why have you done this? do you love me? is there someone else? what did i do ? be honest with me because i want something erious with you but if you do not want to be part of my life then i will give you your time and freedom.plain as that you do not behave agresive just calm you want him to realized that not only are you mature but an amazing problem solver and every man wants a woman that is lovely, calm and respects herself anf know how tocontrol herself and how to deal and solve problems. I hope this helps.

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